The cold hard truth about loose vaginas

Over on Reddit, an MRA named AryoBarzan sets the feminist slut ladies straight on the BIOTRUTH about their ever-growing and FAR less pleasurable vaginas. (Ignore the rude person replying to his message; clearly Aryo is the real penis and vagina expert here.)

 

 

Wait, you say to yourself, how is it that this bold truth-teller is being downvoted, on Reddit? He posted in the antimensrights subreddit, that’s why. In the Men’s Rights subreddit he normally gets the upvotes he so richly deserves.

Note: Post contains, like, a lot of

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Posted on May 29, 2012, in antifeminism, crackpottery, gloating, grandiosity, I'm totally being sarcastic, it's science!, misogyny, MRA, oppressed men, penises, pig ignorance, reddit, sex, vaginas, your time will come. Bookmark the permalink. 177 Comments.

  1. what the average lheterosexual woman anywhere really wants, sexually speaking, is massive phallus and/or tongue. True, ginormous genitals are not the only thing for a male to be able to score a conquest, but they are a sure thing indeed…

    No. What the average heterosexual woman anywhere really wants, sexually speaking, is someone with the body type/penis size/personality/etc. she personally likes. The average heterosexual woman is not actually part of a hivemind, let alone a hivebody, and the things she enjoys and that feel good on her body vary a whole fucking lot from person to person.

    Also, the average heterosexual woman probably does not know a guy’s dick size before she decides to do sexy things with him, because the average heterosexual woman more often than not meets men when they both have clothing on. I’m sure there are cases when a woman gets to see a guy’s erect penis before she ever considers having sex with him for the first time, but I’m pretty certain they are vastly outnumbered by cases when the penis doesn’t come out until sex is already in the works.

    As for the “massive tongue” thing: hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. That is all.

  2. I’ve heard average is 5 1/2 and 6 1/2, depending on who you ask. Hence ‘the lowest end of average’.

  3. RE: BlackBloc

    Huh. I heard, like, 5-5.5 myself. But I’m pretty sure official numbers hardly exist…

    Oh god I’m talking about penises on the Internet. *buries face in hands*

  4. “ABNOY’s massive tongue theory” = “Having grown up in a world that celebrates male sexuality and treats female sexuality as non-existent or at best, inconvenient to men, and having made zero attempt to think critically about anything past the end of my own nose, I have no concept whatsoever of what women want or enjoy. I’m apparently am also terrible at giving oral, and choose to blame my apparently undersized tongue for that rather than the fact that I’m not trying.”

  5. Durr hurr, if size did not matter at all to women, then why are female sex toys so damn huge? Not to mention, why are there too many women interested in having sex with animals, specifically those with genitalia distinctly larger than humans? And as for the tongue, well, Gene Simmons would disagree with you…

  6. I’ve had a long argument with this AryoBarzan guy in the comments section of a YouTube video. I have never before encountered such a concentration of stupidity, dishonesty, and hate in one person.

    We got in an argument about whether or not feminism is an inherently violent ideology. His argument was basically “OMG Valerie Solanas!!!!11″. He also said that no MRA has committed or advocated violence. When I brought up Tom Ball as a counterexample, who advocated domestic terrorism, AryoBarzan said something to the effect that Ball was completely justified.

    This is the sort of Internet person who actually kind of scares me. When an MRA claims that domestic terrorism is justified, it’s hard not to wonder whether or not he genuinely means it.

  7. Durr hurr, if size did not matter at all to women, then why are female sex toys so damn huge? Not to mention, why are there too many women interested in having sex with animals, specifically those with genitalia distinctly larger than humans? And as for the tongue, well, Gene Simmons would disagree with you…

    ANNOY, you pack a lot of stupid into relatively few words. I admire your … efficiency?

  8. Durr hurr, if size did not matter at all to women, then why are female sex toys so damn huge?

    Uh, are they even? Maybe you shouldn’t be watching so much porn, it’s giving you a skewed idea of reality.

    Not to mention, why are there too many women interested in having sex with animals, specifically those with genitalia distinctly larger than humans?

    Again, porn =/= real life. You may not realize this but you’re kind of giving away your own personal highly specific tastes here. I’m sure I’m not the only one here who really wishes you wouldn’t.

    And as for the tongue, well, Gene Simmons would disagree with you…

    Omg, and all this time I thought it was the white clown makeup that women were super attracted to! I guess you must be right about all women being attracted to huge tongues thing then. Because that’s not ridiculous at all!

  9. Not to mention, why are there too many women interested in having sex with animals, specifically those with genitalia distinctly larger than humans?

    If women are screwing animals its not because they have bigger dicks you dumbass. XDXDXD

  10. Durr hurr, if size did not matter at all to women, then why are female sex toys so damn huge?

    This is about on par with the 40 Y-O Virgin’s famous scene where he tries to make it seem like he’s had sex and talks about how breasts feel like bag of sands. It just demonstrates to most people that you’ve basically never interacted with ‘female sex toys’.

    What are ‘female sex toys’ anyway? Gonna let you in on a little secret: lots of men shoving dildos up their ass. If anything, I’d say the hugest shit tends to be something men buys, while women are quite happy with tiny vibrating eggs. You DO know that many many more women come from clitoral stimulation and could care less about penetrative toys, right?

    Not to mention, why are there too many women interested in having sex with animals, specifically those with genitalia distinctly larger than humans?

    Your porn fantasies are not reality dude.

  11. CassandraSays

    The women love huge cocks thing again? As someone who’s actually dated a man with a cock of gargantuan, porn star proportions…no. That was not nearly as much fun as it’s usually assumed to be. A bit bigger than average? Sure, awesome. Way bigger than average? No thank you, because my vagina is not made of nerf.

    Honestly, really huge cocks are mostly just inconvenient from a sexual pov.

  12. CassandraSays

    (Your mileage may vary, obviously, but I really don’t think I’m unusual in having this opinion. All the true size queens that I know are gay men.)

  13. RE: CassandraSays

    No, I’m with you.

    –Miranda

  14. RE: ABNOY

    You… REALLY haven’t seen many toys marketed to women. Have you.

    Seriously, by this logic, wouldn’t all tampons and shit be GINORMOUS as well?

  15. Durr hurr, if size did not matter at all to women, then why are female sex toys so damn huge?

    First, no one said, “size does not matter at all to women.” Size quite frequently matters to women. Just not in the way that you think. I, for example, freely admit that I care about penis size: I care that my partner’s penis is not so large that it hurts me and makes sex unpleasant. Others have expressed the same concern. It is not an uncommon concern. I would guess that most people who are on the receiving end of penetrative intercourse have some preference as to size, but for most of them, that preference will be “the size that fits the part of my body that’s being penetrated in the most pleasant and comfortable fashion.” Women’s bodies, like men’s bodies, vary in size and shape. There are absolutely women who prefer great big penises. And there are absolutely women who prefer small penises, or medium penises, or short, fat penises, or long, skinny penises, or smallish-to-medium penises that curve to the left, or whatever. I’m not sure how many times we have to repeat “people are actually individuals with individual preferences” before that message penetrates.

    Second, dude, I do not think you have seen many sex toys for women. Are there some that are very large? Absolutely! Are there also a whole fucking lot that are NOT very large? Yup! One of the absolute staples of the sex toy industry is the “bullet,” a toy which generally measures something like 2” in length and 1” in width. If that is “so damn huge” to you, then you maybe need to see some more penises, because I have yet to encounter a guy who brags about his massive 2” cock.

  16. Re: bestiality by human women

    http://jezebel.com/5899168/woman-wants-to-have-sex-with-animals-reddit-strangely-accepting-of-this

    “And on an isn’t-it-interesting-that-the-IAMA-is-a-lady sidenote, Nancy Friday’s infamous 1973 collection of women’s sexual fantasies, My Secret Garden, had 23 fantasies that included animals. Out of 190.”

  17. Argenti Aertheri

    “And as for the tongue, well, Gene Simmons would disagree with you…” — pretty sure it’s that he’s a rock star, not his tongue. In any case, being turned on by Gene Simmons’ tongue =/= choosing sex partners based on tongue size. For one, most people stand exactly 0% odds with Gene Simmons; for two, you made me say “turned on by Gene Simmons’ tongue” and just ew.

    Also, seconding that the “bullet” is a staple, and tiny, while anal plugs tend to be the largest, and mostly used by men (and other prostate-havers).

  18. Durr hurr, if size did not matter at all to women, then why are female sex toys so damn huge? Not to mention, why are there too many women interested in having sex with animals, specifically those with genitalia distinctly larger than humans? And as for the tongue, well, Gene Simmons would disagree with you…

    So much fail.

    1. Some female sex toys are huge, some are moderate, some small, all allow for women to personally control the amount of penetration. So if a woman gets a ten inch long dildo but can only handle five inches, she only inserts it five inches. There is no rule stating you must insert the entire length of the dildo.
    2. There are too many of them? How many is too many? Both men and women have animal fetishes. TBQH, it seems more like women taking on donkey’s and whatnot is to turn a man on, not the woman. Just like certain porn positions which are realistically doing nothing for the woman involved and are all to arouse men watching.
    3. Gene Simmons was a rock star. He got women because he was a rock star. Pretty much all rock stars get laid a lot regardless of tongue size.

    Honestly, a penis that is too big means I can’t have frequent sex with that person because I have to wait a day or two to recover. But regardless, the size is the last thing I actually care about because every other aspect of a man is what turns me on.

  19. “And on an isn’t-it-interesting-that-the-IAMA-is-a-lady sidenote, Nancy Friday’s infamous 1973 collection of women’s sexual fantasies, My Secret Garden, had 23 fantasies that included animals. Out of 190.”

    Having sexual fantasies doesn’t mean you want to or do carry it out in rl.

  20. CassandraSays

    Argh! Dave, you’re evil.

  21. that shows been on the air for like two years, right? i seriously doubt that’s the first time someones had that idea.

  22. I’m sure someone had the idea about 40 seconds into the first episode.

  23. Well, now I have seen everything…

  24. There are several reasons for vagina of women to lose his tightness. Vagina most commonly loosen after delivery of a child and it’s very difficult to tight it again.

    http://healthdescription.com/2013/08/18/how-to-tighten-loose-vagina/

  25. How about not necroing eighteen-month-old threads with idiotic links?

  26. Am I the only one hearing that in the voice of Latka from Taxi?

  27. Well, if it’s just between us two, then yeah. :D

  28. I’ve never heard someone use masculine pronouns when talking about a woman’s vagina. It’s kind of bizarre.

  29. I don’t think that (spambot?) is a native English speaker.

  30. I dunno, Kittehs, for a spambot, it at least SORT of spoke on topic? The bots I got were just word salad.

  31. Maybe an advanced spambot!

    I had a WTF chuckle with a spambot on my blog a while back. It was telling me (in genuine spambot not-really-English) my blog was full of terrible spelling and grammar mistakes. Hmm, I guess you could say that, if I’d been trying to write in spam. :P

    However, if it was an actual person necroing this thread, I’d still say maybe not a native English speaker. That “his” was a bit of a tell.

  32. Well, it didn’t offer to enlarge my nonexistent penis, so it’s already ahead of the game as far as spambots go.

  33. Sometimes I let spam through the filter just because.

  34. kittehserf, I get a lot of spam like that, comments saying that there are grammatical mistakes, or that the pages don’t load right in explorer, etc. But they often give it away with names like “gucci bags for less.”

  35. LOL David, I think this one was much like that. They’re all from totally irrelevant *cough* companies *cough* anyway.

  36. I guess a certain proportion of 20 year old women should be saving themselves for ten years just so 30-year-old men have a zero-baggage dating pool? Will we have to assign which 20 year olds do that by lottery or something?

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