Men’s Rights Redditors Weigh in on Sexbots, Railroad Monopolies, and Why Women Are Terrible
You could always make your own.
Oh dear. Our friends the Men’s Rights Redditors have discovered Mr.Ian Ironwood’s little treatise on sexbots. While some are a bit skeptical about the reality of the (non-existent) Human-Robot Personal Relationship Act — more skeptical, anyway, than Ironwood or Vox Day before him — this doesn’t stop the regulars from offering all sorts of distressing and/or hilarious opinions on the subject.
For example, OuiCrudites suggests that women have made sexbots inevitable by generally being such a pain in the ass, and MaunaLoona compares female sexuality to the railroad monopolies of the 19th century:
In a later comment, OuiC elaborates on his “most women are shitty” thesis:
MaunaLoona, meanwhile, agrees with Ironwood that developing the AI for sexbots won’t be a big challenge, because the average American woman is dumb and has a terrible personality.
A Canadian Redditor steps in to point out that the alleged “legislation” isn’t real. Oh, and to suggest that many “females” can’t think rationally.
Geigerwasright concludes that men will find sexbots preferable to women because the women of today aren’t providing them with “love, loyalty [or] kindness.”
So watch out, ladies! Unless you clean up your act, and quick, the good men of the Men’s Rights subreddit will abandon you en masse in favor of sex with inanimate objects that pretend to like them.
And this is apparently supposed to be a bad thing for women.
Clauderoughly postulates that sexbots for women will never be that popular, because what women really want is to get pregnant, so they can live the good life off of child support:
That’s a bit weird, as all the women I’ve had sex with have seemed quite interested not getting pregnant from sex. Indeed, some have had devices inserted into their bodies by doctors to prevent such an occurence.
The world that MRAs live in is a strange and scary place. I prefer the real world. It’s much cheerier.
NOTE: The horrible picture at the top of this post was borrowed from Craftastrophe.
Posted on January 17, 2013, in antifeminism, evil women, I'm totally being sarcastic, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, oppressed men, playing the victim, reddit, sexy robot ladies and tagged antifeminism, men's rights, misogyny, MRA, reddit, sexbots. Bookmark the permalink. 344 Comments.
Whoops, that bullying comment was Kiwi Girl, please shift the sections of my comment to reflect that!
@Argenti, so let me get this straight, because I am finding this completely weird. The psych/s think that you need to socialise in an emotionally and behaviourally challenging environment that is uninteresting to you because you “need” to learn to socialise in environments that aren’t challenging.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Wouldn’t going out for a 10-minute cup of coffee with one or two other people, who have shared interests with you and can hold a conversation, be a better step? Heck, even the kitchen table or living room can be a good social place.
Well, I moved back in with my parents in CT in August, everyone I know at this point is in another state. So IM’img them isn’t socializing, I need to make friends here. Except that’s kind if a problem seeing how I don’t really do the whole people thing, and get bored senseless rather easily.
Of course, I have this weird “hipster” set of interests that make it annoying to find people who share any, forget more than one…and the not-an-ex and I share ALL THE THINGS except different favorite TV shows (I overlook zir lack of interest in Doctor Who, ze overlooks my lack if MLP love, discussions of obscure bands’ lyrics is well worth the lack of Whovian love)
…so yes, basically. Having pointless conversations is apparently better than having meaningful ones with people in other states. I do not make friends easily, never have, see no reason why somehow trying to make friends with people I’d almost certainly be awkward with would help my depression.
They can’t seem to decide if I need more friends, a social group of some focused sort (eg an art group or bowling or whatever) or think those are one in the same.
I have an intake for some social work place’s art group on Friday, I might reschedule it again because I really don’t want to do it, but then again, I have very little clue wtf it is as they referred me without even telling me (ahem, where’d you leave your ethics?). And their goddamned bipolar med of DEATH RASH infamy seems to have zapped my creativity anyways.
…doesn’t help any that I’m way more comfortable talking to you guys than my psychs, the whole position of authority plus the lack of anyone to back me up (fuck the trolls, we’re protective of each other for a reason and it’s awesome)
Argenti, that seems weird to me too. I can see how having conversations with strangers could help depression if that is something that gives you energy. If you find it draining, how would it help?
Because social isolation can worsen depression, per general studies that ignore the existance of such things as introverts. It’s weird, but a common problem.
I imagine that, since people who go into psych are overwhelmingly extroverts themselves (a major reason I’ve never found one myself), the field as a whole probably has a tendency to assume that what works for extroverts works for everyone.
Argenti, are your psychs suggesting that you socialise purely with the end of “making friends” in mind? Because that’s so flaming counterproductive I haven’t the words for it. Hell, my psych at least recognises the importance and VALIDITY of internet friendships (I wouldn’t have been to the US if I hadn’t made good friends over the net). But going out socialising with the specific aim of Making Friends is just as clingy-creepy-needy as the nitwit NiceGuys who think talking to a woman is something you only do to get in her pants/get her to marry you and it should all be sorted within an hour or so.
Kitteh — honestly, they seem to be the sort that think discussing whatever the social group is for counts as being friends. Which explains why the idea we don’t sit around stewing in misogyny is apparently beyond them.
But thank you all for coherent questions/replies instead of just “I really don’t want to”
Basically I think they just see not having in person friends my own age as abnormal and thus on need of fixing, the way they had to straight up ask whether I cared about dating to get it through their heads that I don’t.
TMI time! I’m a masochist, of the literal pain is good, and sexy, sort — I don’t go dating in bars and shit for my own fucking safety. And seeing how no sexytimes trump bad sexytimes, yeah, single it is (until not-an-ex and I can hook up again anyways!)
But yeah, it seems like joining a knitting club and discussing knitting would be making friends by their standards…how in the world that makes “verbal and non-verbal cues” relevant is beyond me (note that I can usually read people just fine, I just take such cues too personally when negative). My talk!psych can’t get anything like a read on me and thinks I either haven’t noticed, or am hiding things she needs to pry out…it’s fun. (I have a standing problem of having psychs who can’t keep up with my brain, seeing how a social group that’d manage to engage my brain would be like, Mensa or something, I don’t fault them for it…until it gets annoying, which it’s starting to.)
Parentheticals, how I love thee!
Lol, there we go, I need a “people who took Latin, but don’t want to talk it about” club (everyone I know IRL has taken at least a semester of Latin, the not-an-ex and I have 8 years between us and it only comes up when parsing medical nonsense
)
@Argenti – still thinking about advice for dealing with these psychs: have you thrown the question back at them? What do they think one is supposed to get out of socialising/friendship? What are their criteria? Does it include things like:
Exchange of ideas with like-minded people;
Emotional support;
Jokes and laughter;
Wide-ranging topics of conversation from serious to totally frivolous;
Learning about stuff, from how other people live to obscure bits of slang and so on;
Looking at kitty videos(all right that SHOULD be in there but these people seem like twits who wouldn’t get it)Because if that’s the sort of thing they think you need, then why can’t they see you are – as you have said. Clearly. that you’re getting it here? What do they think you’re missing? The face to face stuff is stressful, as in distressing, and they want you to do it anyway? Hello, what are they, failed Phys Ed teachers?
Ignore all that if you’ve already tried to get that through their skulls!
You know the sort that has single topic friends right? The damned cultural meme suggesting this is How Things Are? It’s like that, I think.
See, I wouldn’t much know as I loose that type every time I pull a depressive “leave me alone for a month” — it’s the ones who are happy to see me again that are worth keeping (lol, like you guys!
)
You know what’s funny? The not-an-ex and I only managed to see each other every couple of weeks when living within a mile of each other — ze’s a working grad student, schedules are FUN!!
Gakk, cross-posting curse strikes again!
‘”But thank you all for coherent questions/replies instead of just “I really don’t want to”’
Pffffft milord, AS IF!
Oh, minor clarification if anyone a) needs it b) gives a hoot: I don’t physically see Louis. Wish I did, that’d be awesome, but it’s mind’s eye. Or peripheral vision in the mind, it’s not that clear. Same with hearing him, it’s his voice in my mind, not my ears. (Does one have a mind’s ear? That is such an odd phrase.) Only physical thing is that I can feel his hand squeeze mine and sometimes his ‘tache tickles enough to induce frantic nose-scratching.
Eh, I’ve tried the “but I get freaked out by people on person” bit, and it isn’t really working (either that or talk!psych didn’t get the memo to meds!psych, which is entirely probable as they just switched to a computer system no one can figure out)
Haven’t prodded into what’s the point of this, as I keep trying to convince them that online totally does count!
I have a feeling it’d get tautological — the point of socializing is socialization.
Lol, “dude, you’re blocking the TV, but hey, it’s a nice view” seems so much better than “your facial hair, it tickles!”
And ALL THE CROSS-POSTING!
I’m starting to think it’s your psychs who need psychs. They seem to have very narrow, stifling, unhealthy ideas about how people should live, and what friendship should be about. Seriously makes me wonder how many friends they have.
I was bloody glad when you came back on site – I don’t think we’d talked much or at all, you went off site about the time I started, iirc – but I always enjoyed reading your stuff in the old threads. I’m always pleased when regulars come back on (yes Viscaria I’m lookin’ at you).
BWAHAHAHA!
It’s a good thing he doesn’t block the view. Between him and Fribbie I’d see nuttin’!
You know, in another era that’d probably be considered as having a muse in the form of Louis XIII and quite the gift.
Either that or a demon…suddenly the “he’s a demon” folks make sense — that whole witch hunts because cats were familiars and those are evil… Pretty sure that era didn’t look kindly on personal muses (then again, muses where generally portrayed as female and gods do we know how that went, female? In spirit? Visiting you? Succubus!!!)
In complete tangents, maybe that’s how ABNOY got confused? He got his succubi and muses mixed up?
/complete bastardization of multiple traditions
Kitteh — aw, I was missed by people who barely knew me, let’s see that happen at some [topic] group/club! And yes, HI VISCARIA!!
Lol, but it’d be a good view of nothing!
As for my psychs, idk, I’ve never really liked the talk!psych, but have given her a chance or three because I really liked the temp psych while she was on maternity leave, and figured I might not be giving her a fair shake because I was annoyed about the change (OMGS run on sentence alert!)
Meds!psych I generally like, she only got the “must socialize” thing recently, and it’s the only thing that’s annoyed me. And even that, her side of it has been that she thinks it’d be more effective than upping my meds again because there’s only so much the drugs can do (well dandy, but then can you up the anxiety ones? Because I’m going to need it if forced to socialize, or forced to do anything for that matter)
Talk!psych, idk, doesn’t seem to get much? But she wants to pawn me off on case management anyways, so idk (yeah, fun, does she think I don’t get what “we should see each other less often” and “your goals are all case management issues” means?)
*grumble* I’m too forgiving of this shit, cuz abusive assholes have primed me to not be demanding, and y’all are more useful than my psychs. *hands out cupcakes*
LOL when I think of succubi now, I think of the Oglaf cartoon where the apprentice has to oil them. Dear oh dear.
I’ve had people suggest he’s my muse (or should that be mews?) but he sort of backs off at the idea. He’s clinging to his Mr Doesn’t Like Literature persona. Kinda silly considering he’s quite happy to read or even do crosswords these days, unlike his earthly time. His own writing (we do channelled stuff on occasion) is cool to read. Totally different from mine, I might add.
*nom nom nom*
*hands out tea/coffee/hot chocolate*
I could totally see this happening at home …
@Argenti, sorry was playing Guild Wars 2 for a bit there. We did our dailies.
They do sound a bit “for your own good” types. So I come back to the point of, what objectives do they want out of the face-to-face socialisation? If it’s just for its own sake, then pointless, but if it’s to have deep conversations, or give-and-take, or just to meet new people, then that’s what we’re really doing here.
They would be shocked, SHOCKED, if their closemindness was pointed out to them. Except if they decide that someone making that point was just doing some type of transference. Seriously though, your psychs sound young enough that the internet was around when they were growing up. I would have thought they would have a better mentality towards it than someone, say, my age (mid-40s). Of course, I used to be at the pub 3 nights a week when I was in my early 20s, I would find it horrifying if they thought that was more helpfully social than being here. Back in those days, you could smoke in bars, and I did smoke back then, so half-a-pack in a night. Plus the costs of booze at bar prices. Damned expensive nights out. And I don’t recall that anyone said anything of particularly deep meaning in those nights either. I know more about a number of you here just from this thread alone, than I ever found out from people I drank with for two years. I hope the psychs aren’t confusing quantity with quality.
@Kitteh, Noooooooooooooooo not chocolate. Chocolate + cats = very ill, and death if in large enough quantities. I’m so paranoid about it, when I eat chocolate (at a particular time of the month), I do it over the sink.
Cat’s can’t break down theobromine: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theobromine_poisoning
Fear not, I know that. My kitties on this side of the veil are never allowed near the stuff. I’m talking Bakery Theft happening if Louis had been cooking (cue French shouting in the background). Should have been clearer which home I meant, sorry for the scare!
The kitty in this video seems to be going for whatever the creamy stuff is (icing?) on the cakes rather than the slivers of chocolate.
Oh thank goodness. I thought you might know that, but maybe not the person who did the video, I should have been clearer in my post. The vet at work thinks I am paranoid about the chocolate because the lethal dose is so high, and she’s a cat lover too. I just think, why risk it.
And I think one of my cats has developed asthma.
I really don’t want him to be given a general anaesthetic to do the confirmation test, but I’ve taken 3 videos of his coughing on my phone, so I’m hoping the vet will diagnose off video evidence… I feel so guilty about this, all this time I thought it was furball related. I will be making a vet appointment this week, once I show the videos to the vet at work (she’s not practising any more) to see if she thinks there is enough in the videos to make the diagnosis without doing a lavage.
Don’t feel guilty – who would think of asthma first-off for cats? I wouldn’t, and I’ve had cats since forever. I’ve just done a quick read on About.comand it says the symptoms are very much like hairball, but it’s also a matter of managing it, just as with humans.
Has your vet or the vet at work mentioned blood tests or an x ray? They don’t require general anaesthetics.
Kitteh — I was more going for the concept of a muse than Definitely Is One, but hey, he doesn’t want to be called a muse, fine by me! (Who am I do argue with a French king?)
Lol, though my brother did find that we’re related to Catherine something or other somehow, he really could’ve taken better notes before canceling his ancestry.com account!
Kiwi Girl — I will have to inquire into wtf they want out of this, because, for one, that’s backwards, this is supposed to be wtf I want out of this! And talk!psych is old enough to have an MSW and two kids, so probably mid-30s (I wouldn’t imagine much older as she did just have a kid) — MSW is a minimum of a 3 year program, I was debating it at one point.
The only “but why?” I’ve gotten so far is that face-to-face comes with verbal and non-verbal cues. Which is apparently massively important and non-existent with family and family friends.
Good luck with the kitteh, and thanks for that link, I can’t convince my parents that even a little chocolate is Not For The Kitteh.
Cor lumme, he finds out something interesting and then doesn’t take notes? Argh!
I always get the creeps a bit when I see ads for Ancestry.com. It’s owned by the Mormons – nothing would induce me to use a site owned by that lot. Apart from all the other horrible things about that mob (Mittens, for example!) the whole rebaptise-the-dead thing brings out my ragesaurus. No, I don’t believe they can affect anyone who’s passed over, but the utter arrogance, the presumptuousness, of it, makes me want to throw ‘em in a giant tub of runny cat poo. With a lid.
Even the age of the psychs doesn’t help with understanding wtf they’re so blinkered about internet contact for. I’m fifty, my psych would be older than that, and the importance and value of internet connections was something we were both enthusing about.
Sounds like they’re going by their books and not taking stuff in, or they’re just not experienced enough and have blinkered views or … gawd, I dunno.
I’m starting to think of this like a Captain Awkward script with added snark … “You talk to me about the importance of verbal and visual cues, yet you sit here and completely ignore not only those, but what I am saying. You ignore the content of my speech, my words. Tell me again why face to face is so superior to the internet?”
Someone who knows metric cold help me here —
“A typical 20 kg (44 lb) dog will normally experience intestinal distress after eating less than 240 g (8.5 oz) of dark chocolate…”
But the LD50 is 300 mg/kg.
240g for a 20 kg dog would be 12 g/kg…but that should be 12,000 mg/kg and entirely fatal, not just intestinal distress, right? Wtf is broken here? My metric math? Wiki? *CONFUSED!*
“You talk to me about the importance of verbal and visual cues, yet you sit here and completely ignore not only those, but what I am saying. You ignore the content of my speech, my words. Tell me again why face to face is so superior to the internet?”
*dies* this is pure awesome
It’s like they think I’m just awkward around them because I’m not practiced socializing or something. Because fuck, nervous laughter gets a “you seem happier” they can’t read my cues and think they can and I’m too damned nervous to say otherwise.
Figures that it’s the Mormons, who else has that kind of info >.<
::looks at numbers::
::head explodes with teh incomprehension::
Y’know, this sort of psychshite makes me think of why people are taking patient advocates along with them to doctors’ consultations now (I’m guessing if it’s a thing here, it’s prolly been a thing in the US for ages). They’re so full of their own authority it’s a wonder they haven’t floated away on a cloud of hot gas.
Maybe just hold up a mirror when they’re on their “you need to get out more” schtick, because it sounds like they should follow their own advice. And really, what does their suggestion come to except that trite “you need to get out/ get out of yourself” line? What are they going to say next? ‘Here’s a copy of Reader’s Digest, read the “Laughter is the Best Medicine” section?’
@Argenti: your maths is right. But if the LD50 relates to the amount of theobromine, then that explains it, as theobromine will only be contributing a minute amount towards the total weight of the chocolate, as I assume it is inside the cocoa. So the LD50 amounts and the chocolate weight amounts are referring to different things. Dark chocolate will contain higher amounts of theobromine w/w compared to milk chocolate. White chocolate is fine, because it contains no cocoa (don’t ask me why it’s called “chocolate”).
But yeah, could probably do with some more explanatory notes.
Kitteh: interesting about the Mormons, explains a lot.
Just the “you need to get out more” and no amount of explaining that I’m happiest left alone with my fish and an Internet connection is working (I’ve threatened to move to a cave if one ever gets Internet)
And no, patient advocates are only sort of a thing here, and a new one — the “we know best” might be even stronger here. Consider our police state, we’re more trained to just mindless obey authority (funny, considering y’all have the monarchy we supposedly built a system to avoid obeying = actual irony)
Glad the math issue isn’t just my issues with metric, but wtf is it then?!
I’ve had issues with the whole “stop trying to force me to do things” from the beginning, to various degrees of annoying. This art group I have an appointment with on Friday? The first
I heard of it was being awoken to a phone call wanting to schedule an intake, I had to grumble half asleep asking intake where? I already rescheduled once, and they’re not somewhere I can easily get to, but their websites includes lures like gallery shows so the “fuck it might be worth it” is vying with the “do not like being forced and do not want”
Pecunium, if you see this, I need an opinion on whether the potential for gallery space is worth being forced into joining an art group for psych patients, with the referral sent without anything like my consent. It’s really skeevy, but gallery space.
…and I think I just answered my own question, I’m not willing to sell my comfort for gallery space (to steal an EA line “to say I do this for the people I admit is hardly true”) And double fuck, my goddamned psychs are supposed to be fixing my issues with letting people down, not causing them.
“White chocolate is fine, because it contains no cocoa (don’t ask me why it’s called “chocolate”).”
My digestive system can answer that — lactose, it contains lactose. I can’t eat it, it’s the one thing not worth the suffering (pizza? ice cream? canolis? utterly worth it. White chocolate? Not even remotely.)
And thank you for the maths!
Yeah, even without the specific psych/treatment/consent issues, it’s just too damn pushy. It’d be pushy if it was a friend saying “I’ve got this group exhibition lined up and you need to contribute!” I loathe being forced to do stuff, especially where creativity’s concerned. Fastest way to kill off the urge I know of.
Say, if you feel like swapping emails, let me know. No sweat if you’d rather not, or not now, or whatever.
Kitteh — I have an aversion to posting mine publicly (troll and stalker ex avoidance) but if yours is on your blog, and you’ll link me again, I’ll drop you a line.
Lol, or PM me on the forum, duh >.<
The “you need to contribute” would be one thing, I could just go “here’s my collection, have fun” — this is the making art on a schedule with other people around thing. And I’m not much for it without a specific skill being learned // A Point. (My minor was studio arts, but create something, anything! turns me into a self-conscious puddle of fail)
::smacks head:: I totally forgot there are PMs on the forum! Done. You will be utterly astonished at my email addy.
Yeah, it was the making-stuff-to-schedule thing I had in mind. Done that once, wouldn’t do it again (making even pared-down versions of my figures, and making them to order for a theme, was not much fun). I hate drawing/making/writing to order. It’s why I long since gave up on contests on that writing site, even before I gave up on fiction altogether.
@Argenti: just doing a quick posting before going to work. I was thinking some more about this “you *have* to socialise face-to-face” shite and remembered something which I think is really important. Socialising face-to-face means basically hearing people’s unfiltered thoughts as they say them, and also dealing with people having a bad time. This in itself might not be so bad, except some people are emotional vampires/drama queens, who freaking need to talk about negative stuff in detail, maybe ask for some advice, and then repeatedly not do anything to help themselves. I’m not talking about stuff at the serious level of domestic violence or anything like that, more shite-that-just-happens type stuff. But they seem to attract drama, and like being the centre of attention.
Online, you can just leave the area when you like, you don’t have to read stuff, etc, so there are many ways to protect yourself. IRL, half the time it’s not so easy. And people get really offended if you say that you don’t want to hear it or if you excuse yourself to physically leave. So I think people are exposed to much more emotional/psychological BS IRL compared to online, with fewer rapid and effective ways of minimising harm that aren’t considered “rude”.
tl;dr: face-to-face socialisation isn’t automatically/always a fantastic way of interacting with others.
I don’t really have anything to add to this thread as I haven’t ever had therapy or felt the need for it but I’d just like to say that for those of you having issues with your therapists I hope you sort out your issues with them or are able to find new ones who help you in ways that you want to be helped and that are constructive and not dismissive of the things that matter to you or who you are.
Also Kitteh’s Unpaid Help, I read all the way through your blog the day before yesterday (instead of doing the reading for my seminars or my Russian homework hehe) and it was fascinating and very touching
Historophilia, thank you! And cool. My blog has officially become a source of Internet Time Wasting!
I can’t add anything either, but I for one am glad this is a place where the non-trolls support each other. I hate this idea that because something happens online it isn’t “real life.” Scattering internet hugs randomly in case anyone wants one!
Gah. I feel immensely thankful that I haven’t had such frustrating experiences with the mental health industry. Then again, I tend to barge in and say, “This is what I want, this is what I’m here for, you are here to assist ME with MY goals. Here are my requirements. Can you do that? Good. Let’s go.” The idea that I might be ordered to socialize is just plain odd. (I’ve had advice to go out and see other friends a bit more often, but that had solid reasoning behind it, and I wasn’t obligated.)
Of course, this does mean that sometimes I need arm twisting from my friends to get me to, say, go on meds when I need them, but at least I’ve never quite felt under anyone’s thumb. (I felt a bit uncomfortable at the ED program I was at, but that was due to class and other barriers, and the whole time, I knew it’d be short-term.)
Oh, boy, therapy.
You know, I had a good therapist. I really did. She was supportive, she was understanding, she didn’t force me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with. She was really helping.
But, mostly due to my ADD and anxieties in general, I am still almost entirely dependent on my parents. They decided that because she didn’t take their insurance and they wanted to save money that I had to stop seeing her and get another therapist that did take their insurance. Oh, they also think she’s been ‘coddling’ me.
So now I’m annoyed with my parents because I feel like they’re treating their daughter’s mental health like it’s a brand name supermarket item they can get cheaper by buying the store brand and I don’t have any way of making the money myself without resorting to drastic (and only temporary) measures.
That’s my life at the moment. Well, that, a recent sinus infection, and the likelihood of having to take up residence at a homeless shelter sometime soon. Very ironically, I could really use a therapist about now. And I should probably get back on my anti-anxiety meds now that the sinus infection’s mostly gone.
In better news, I just rewatched all my Animaniacs DVDs.
*grabs an internet hug from cloudiah*
Amnesia — have another Internet hug from me (and coffee and cupcakes when the kitchen is rant free, my father is um, less than thrilled with Obama)
Lol, fuck it, have some virtual coffee and cupcakes guess it’s moot that I’m staying upstairs because of standard fare stupidity!
LBT — can I borrow you to do that to my psych? >.<
They seem to think this whole make friends thing is the solution to not having friends here. When, to me, listening to celebrity and sport gossip, or only being able to discuss the book club’s current book, or similar single-topic friends, well, much more annoying than listening to the old ladies’ discuss their kids and grandkids! (The women my grandmother was friends with before she died night by old enough to be my grandparents, but are nice, well-rounded, people!)
Kiwi Girl — considering I suck at getting off the phone, dealing with people in authority, or demanding people in general, yeah, valid point (demanding people? Like the father U’m avoiding? Yes exactly like that! Think I just heard my mother come home though, so coffee and cupcakes all around!
)
I haven’t had a pure “talk psych” in fifteen years. She said I could probably get government-paid therapy with my problems, only real therapy tends to make people with psychotic disorders worse at first. So I’d probably have a year at least when I wouldn’t be able to work at all, and would need to be on seriously heavy meds in order not to freak out completely from going to therapy, but after that she thought there would be a good chance of me permanently getting better. I said no thanks, I didn’t think it sounded like a good deal.
I really liked my talk psych, but I felt already back then that talking too much about psychotic experiences, my childhood and stuff like that made me more psychotic.
Since then I’ve only had “med psychs”, i e psychiatrists, although ones I could also talk a good deal to if I occasionally felt I needed to. Although now I’m gonna be transferred to just a regular doc, since I’m considered so good at handling my problems myself and knowing what meds I need and when. I’ll basically just need someone to go to and “hey, I’m running out of X and Y now, so I’ll need you to prescribe another jar of a 100 X:s and a package of 30 more Y:s”, which a regular doc can handle.
RE: Argenti
A lot of it is something I try to actively keep in mind. Most people have no experience with multiples, and they don’t know much. I feel it’s my job to take the lead, or else have to constantly be on the defensive, trying to protect us from unwanted intregration attempts or the like. If I don’t say my boundaries, what I know or what I feel, how is my treatment team to know the multi ISN’T the problem? It’d be like if I went to the doctor and didn’t tell them I had an allergy to something. (Though admittedly, I am worse at dealing with body doctors than brain ones.)
I know more about my issues than they do, and they may know more about specific ways to deal than I do. I try to see them as the Spock to my Kirk. They may know more about a specific issue than me, but it’s my job to lead.
” I try to see them as the Spock to my Kirk.”
Just make sure you never, never wear a red shirt to therapy sessions.
Tangential but sort of related to the psych talk – I had some very clear, sensory (no, I’m not about to go TMI) memories from being at Home last night. Hadn’t got there Sunday night due to a crappy, interrrupted night’s sleep here, so Mr K and I were making up for lost time, mostly by just acting like a pair of honeymooners and sitting on the couch looking at each other or cuddling or holding hands all day.
Point is, if anyone, psych or not, tries to tell me that things like remembering the feel of warm soft wool when we were arm in arm going downstairs (we were in our Aran cardies), or his hand when I was holding it over the breakfast table, or the coffee we drank, or the scent of his hair when we were cuddling, or Miss Katie’s fur when she was demanding her morning cuddle, are “not real” or “illness” or anything else, then they can go to the Amazon and get their head shrunken, because they obviously aren’t using it.
/rant
I don’t think it’s likely to be productive to get into a battle with a therapist about whether or not Mr Kittehs is “real”. If the situation isn’t causing you distress, then it’s not relevant to therapy, so there’s no reason for your therapist to focus on it, and you have every right to tell them to let it go and focus on whatever it is that led you to seek out therapy in the first place. Just saying “that isn’t what I’m here to talk about, can we focus on X instead?” would probably be more effective than arguing about what is or isn’t “real”.
I get the sense that LBT has been dealing with a similar dynamic with the multiples issue, so zie might have some good scripts for you to use or tailor to your own situation.
The bottom line is, if something isn’t distressing the patient or causing problems in their day to day life, it’s not something that needs to be a focus in therapy, and the patient is entitled to take it off the table. If a therapist refuses to allow you to do so, they are Dinosaur Therapist and you should probably find one with a less archaic approach.
Oh no, I’m not thinking of arguing about real/not real – it was more that last night was a perfect example of people who’ve not been there and have no idea what they’re talking about leaping to conclusions because of materialist defaults. I’m not thinking of my psych so much, though he is edging a bit close. We’re still at the getting general background info stage, so Mr K obviously plays a part there since he’s such a major factor in my life (‘e’s me husband fergawssake). Perhaps I need to tell psych that he has to draw a line and say “not relevant” in his thinking!
@Amnesia, I feel you.
My parents were extremely resistant to the idea that I needed mental health care when I was a teenager, and one of the reasons they gave me was that I wasn’t sick enough to justify the expense. Though, honestly, I think it had less to do with the actual money and more to do with needing to believe I wasn’t sick. I’m lucky that I’m independent at this point, so I can go to therapy on my own dime.
My mom still insists that “calling it depression makes it real,” among other things, and whenever she hears about me getting counselling, she makes disappointed faces. So, I lie now. It’s easier.
It was actually Rick Perry, and it was a ranch the family used for hunting. Yeah, that’s gonna go over well with folks who are at all aware of racism.
Shaennon: I don’t think they want immortal. They want them forever young, and to commit suicide the moment
“their man” dies.
Regarding the (most unfortunate)difficulty that most(read > 50%) men and women seem to have in getting along in relationships, don’t take my word for it!
Tina Turner said better than I ever could:
Regarding the (most unfortunate)difficulty that most(read > 50%) men and women seem to have in getting along in relationships, don’t take my word for it!
Ok., we won’t.
Allow me to submit aTina Turner video that better explains Demarcq’s opinions.
“Difficulty in getting along in relationships” – oh noes, people are individuals with different needs and wants and aims in life, they do not become assimilated upon entering a relationship! It is so haaaaard, we must give it up altogether!
The sooner dipshits like MRAs and MGTOW actually do go their own way, the better.
If we drew them a map with a dot labelled “You Are Here” and multiple arrows pointing away from it that are all labelled “Go Your Own Way” do you think that would help?
Doubt it. These guys are the embodiment of “couldn’t find his arse with a map” after all.
Eh, let them rape their sexbots while we take over the world. Clearly they can think only of sex anyway.