Category Archives: alpha males

James Franco’s text game was “solid,” says pickup artist Christian McQueen

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James Franco displays his charm

James Franco displays his subtle text technique

So at this point you presumably all know about James Franco’s less-than-successful attempt to text his way into the pants of a 17-year old fan — which, if it wasn’t just a publicity stunt for his latest movie, which happens to be about a creepy teacher preying on a student, was pretty creepy for real.

You might have been struck by the, er, bluntness his approach, which could be summarized as the “I’m James Franco, are you technically of legal age in New York State, can I get you alone in a room with me right now, no I’m really James Franco, really” technique.

But what you haven’t seen yet is an analysis of Mr. Franco’s TEXT GAME by a recognized expert in the field. And by expert I mean our new friend Christian McQueen, the Alpha Playboy with the Obviously Fake Name.

Mr. McQueen asks the timeless question: Was Mr. Franco’s TEXT GAME desperate or just direct?

To some it may seem like he’s being ‘thirsty’, but is he really? Or his text game actually the type of game that high value men use?

After going line for line through Mr. Franco’s conversational gambits with the wary teenager — which, you may recall, not only failed to convince her to come to his room but also created a bit of an embarrassing scandal for him — McQueen concludes that Franco’s game was …. “solid.”

No, really.

You see, when you’re James Franco, you can just go ahead and behave like some dude straight out of the CreepyPM subreddit, because you have “so many options, that [you] can go Ultra-Direct in [your] text game and many players who are on a great level utilize this.”

Don’t bother with small talk. Don’t bother with charm. All you need to do is state your famous name, determine if she is of legal age in the state you are in (and she was, in New York), and then proceed to work out the logisitics. And BAM, you’re in like Flynn. (Though one imagines that the real Erroll Flynn actually tried to work some personal charm into his approach with women.)

McQueen sums it up for us mere mortals:

[H]is ’game’ was not ‘thirsty’, but simply Direct. While not great, it was solid.

He is a celebrity, so it’s less about him using Game and more about him asking questions as though they are completing a transaction. She gets to fuck a celebrity and he gets her pussy. Simple.

Yeah. Except that none of that happened and now a guy who could have slept with any one of literally millions of enthusiastic volunteers over the age of 18 is now the poster boy for celebrity creepiness.

He could have been smoother and possibly gotten the bang, but he probably does not care.

Yeah. Unless this is all a publicity stunt, I’m thinking that he probably does care just a little bit now.

This is classic I Don’t Give A Fuck Game.

When your value is high and your time is precious, you don’t give a fuck if she rejects you. This is Next Level.

Well, if by “Next Level” you mean “an approach so crude and creepy that it not only squicked out the 17 year old fan that it was directed at but also millions of female fans who’ve now seen the texts online.”

He put out minimal effort to prove it was him, which was understandable considering she doubted it was him, and when she balked, he ejected quickly.

I guess he’s got a point here. It would have been even worse if Franco had stuck around and tried to pressure the fan to see him.

Remember gents, when your Game is tight and you have High Value, you can go Direct. Men of High Value don’t have time to be wasted. You may get rejected immediately, but you also won’t waste time with girls just seeking attention and validation.

You may, on the other hand, be exposed on the internet as a creepy predator. But I guess Men of High Value don’t care about that, which is why Franco didn’t go on Live With Kelly and Michael shortly after this broke to apologize for it all. Oh wait. He did.

Huh. That doesn’t sound High Value at all.

 

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MGTOWer complains: By 18, women are “either dating 30 year old millionaires or (if less attractive) f***ing the football team.”

Every Man Going His Own Way's favorite fantasy

Every Man Going His Own Way’s favorite fantasy

In case anyone was wondering, the Men Going Their Own Way movement has managed to survive the implosion of MGTOWforums.com that I wrote about a little while ago. Yep, the regulars from there have moved on to several new forums where they continue to celebrate their independence from the women of the world by happily discussing such manly hobbies as video games, model trains, taxidermy and knitting.

Oh, who am I kidding? They don’t talk about any of that stuff. Basically they continue to nurse their grudges against the women who wouldn’t date them in high school, somehow convincing themselves that the best way to be “free” of women is to obsess about them every minute of every day.

Take the charming fella who calls himself ManWithAPlan, who has managed to win himself nearly 1900 “likes” from his comrades on the MGTOW HQ message boards with comments like the following:

I hate [women] because most of them acted like stuck up cunts when they were young and hot. Then they hit 30+ and decide to settle down, and when there are no men to settle down, they start shaming men. This is where most of my hate/negativity comes from, the fact that these women feel entitled to “good” men after having spent the last 15-20 years telling guys “just because you bought me a drink/dinner doesn’t mean I owe you sex”.

And every woman acts this way. Oh you want to slut it up? Sure go ahead and be a cum rag, but I would never date a cum rag. And how would they react to that? “Oh well that’s your preference and you’re entitled to it”. Yeah right, they’d flip their shit and go into shaming language ahoy.

The reason I derive so much pleasure from this is because for the first time in their lives women are being held accountable for their actions. And they don’t fucking like it. Remember when some girl/woman got you in trouble for just crying while you weren’t in the wrong? This is fucking payback.

(Emphasis mine.)

This may sound a little harsh, but you need to remember that for most young women, life is just an endless VIP party:

Women are born with their so called value. By 15 or whatever they have the looks and power to attract most men. By 18, depending on how attractive they are, they’re either dating 30 year old millionaires or (if less attractive) fucking the football team. And they retain this value until at some point into their 30′s, sometimes 40′s. Men get nothing. We are born invisible. We have to claw, work and suffer for 2-3 decades before we get any recognition. And by that point, we no longer have the energy or fast metabolism we had in our youth. So that means double time for us.

Women are handed the world on a silver platter, men have to fight for it.

Is the MGTOW movement the least successful “independence” movement ever? They’re like someone who breaks up with you, angrily marches out the front door, slams it behind them — and then spends the next five years on your front porch peering in the window.

Pickup guru Roosh V: “I’m a clown.”

Just like Pagliacci did, I try to keep my sadness hid

Just like Pagliacci did, I try to keep my sadness hid

 

Oh, dear. Our old friend Roosh – the rapey, racist expat pickup guru – seems to be having some sort of existential crisis. In a new post titled “Men Are Nothing More Than Clowns To The Modern Woman,” – yes, really – he laments the sad fact that women are no longer forced to rely on men.

There is definitely not a single woman alive in the Western world who needs a man. While in the past a woman had to put forth effort to obtain a husband who would help her survive, today she is protected by a welfare state that ensures she will never go hungry or spend one night on the street.

The HORROR!

Well, Roosh can rest easy, because, at least in the United States, his nightmare of women not going hungry or being forced to sleep on the streets is just that, a bad dream. Presumably he will be pleased to learn that lots of women (and children) go hungry. Lots of women (and children) are homeless.

Even a child she has out of wedlock from a drunken night out will not have to suffer from her mistake, and that’s in spite of the fact that many nations already provide her with free contraception to compensate for her lack of judgement in selecting worthy mates.

A tad ironic coming from a dude who constantly brags about “raw dogging” it – that is, having sex without a condom – with drunk women he’s just met.

Anything required for a woman’s survival or pleasure can be easily achieved without her having to put forth commitment, sacrifice, or labor. She can shave her head, gain 50 pounds, and disfigure herself with tattoos yet still have many suitors to—at the minimum—have sex on demand.

Such a terrible injustice, that women Roosh finds unattractive are actually able to have sex.

Her food and shelter will be provided by a state which has embarked on an extraordinary effort to compete with men for her devotion and loyalty.

Again, in the US, not really.

So instead of looking for women who say that they “need a man,” Roosh has begun to focus on women who say that they “want a man.” Unfortunately, when he’s asked women if they want a man, “[o]nly in a few instances did a woman outright say yes, and these usually happened in Ukraine.”

Huh. Not sure that’s a real scientific poll there kiddo, as I imagine that very few women are going to answer “yes” to that question when it’s asked of them by this guy:

Do you want a man? Do you?

Do you want a man? Do you?

Anyhoo, so all this has given poor old Roosh a sad. Because women who don’t need men, who actually have options in their lives, are less interested in jumping into traditional long-term relationships than those with few options in life other than hooking themselves to a male provider.

And so, Roosh has sadly concluded, the typical young women of today

will treat you as a distraction to her more important job, girls’ nights out, and social networking validation happy time. Men have become an utterly replaceable and expendable commodity in a girl’s life. Her interest in a man is not unlike her interest in a new television show or Apple product … .

Huh. Or perhaps this is because you’re dating women at least a decade younger than you, in their early 20s, and this is how people in their early 20s often approach dating?

When I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t see a man who has improved himself over the years to be the best that his genes allow—I see a glittery skirt that a girl encounters in the mall.

You see a what now?

Is the skirt too expensive or is it on sale? Is there only one left of her size or is the rack full of them? Does she already have something similar or is it totally novel? Does her friends think it’s cute or just alright? After trying it on, does it flatter her body or make her look fat?

Dude, this metaphor really isn’t working for you.

We are like glittery pieces of fashion to women—items that she truly doesn’t need. Not only has she already collected so many of them, but she can easily obtain more within walking distance from where she lives. She can even browse online from home while in her pajamas through a nearly unlimited selection.

Oh no! WOMEN HAVE CHOICES!

We are not men in the traditional sense—we are clowns.

Well, some men are.

With our tight game we have to be entertainers who create drama and excitement in a girl’s life, just long enough so that she spreads her legs and makes sexy noises, and even though she did commit such an intimate act with us, she will soon lose interest or simply get bored, and then move on to the next shiny cock that catches her eye.

Gosh, who would imagine that the women you have one-night-stands with after meeting them in a bar would treat you like a one-night-stand?

Also, if your penis is actually shiny, you might want to check with your doctor about that.

The other side of this coin is that we no longer need women. We don’t need them to maintain our home or cook good meals for us. We don’t need them in an age where having children is no longer important or valued.

That is true. Men are not incapable of cooking. I can even manage a grilled cheese sandwich once in a while. And, no, you’re not obligated to have kids. Heck, as a man you can get away with not having kids and not even have to take a lot of shit about it.

Whatever natural connection that once existed between the sexes has now been severed. Neither sex needs each other so we dedicate ourselves to corporations, entertainment, and base pleasures instead, and this is a great tragedy that most people believe is a sign of progress, a cause for celebration.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I think Roosh think’s he’s had some sort of profound insight here. All because the 22-year-old women he spends his life pursuing don’t seem interested in properly genuflecting to him as a real man.

For the next girl I meet, I’m not going to ask her if she needs a man, because I know she doesn’t. Instead I will simply ask her if she wants a man, and if the answer leans yes, I will perform like the good clown I am so that she is entertained enough to have sex with me. Either she or I will eventually get bored and the relationship will end. Then I will simply repeat my performance on a someone new, because I’m a skilled clown, and that’s exactly what women today want.

You do that, Roosh, honey. Just try to make sure she’s actually sober enough to consent to your “performance” first. I know you have a little trouble with that.

Here’s a little video for Roosh to watch the next time he’s feeling down.

Alpha Playboys always ask for directions to Starbucks

Alpha Playboy opening a two-set with the STarbucks Opener

Alpha Playboy opening a two-set with the Starbucks Opener

 

Ok, ladies. Go do some lady stuff, like vajazzling or banning bossy or having pillow fights or whatever it is you ladies like to do, because we have some MAN STUFF to talk about today. Oh, gay guys, you can leave too. We STRAIGHT MEN are going to be talking about how to develop MAD GAME with the ladies so we can become Master Pickup Artists.

I’d like to start by sharing some dope new information I found on the game blog of ALPHA PLAYBOY “Christian McQueen,” who despite the obviously fake name is an actual real game guru taken seriously by dudes who apparently spend considerable amounts of money on his ebooks and “coaching” and whatnot.

But sometimes, in little acts of mercy for the financially challenged, he shares some of his wisdom with the thirsty men of the world for free.

And that’s the case with his brilliant STARBUCKS OPENER which, again, I am not making up. It is an example of INDIRECT GAME, in that you don’t just walk up to a woman and ask her if she wants to have sex with you. It’s a DAY GAME opener, which you use in the DAY and not at a night club.

Anyway, this is what you do. (You might want to write this down.) You walk up to a sexy lady on the street and you say:

“Excuse me. Do you know where the closest Starbucks is?”

BAM! And you’re IN LIKE FLYNN!

Ok, ok, I can sense that some of you may not appreciate the genius of the STARBUCKS OPENER. Some of you even think it sounds a little dopey and not really very sexy at all. Did Casanova go around asking ladies for directions?

Well, let’s let Mr. McQueen explain why his idea is so freaking brilliant:

The Starbucks Opener is absolute GOLD because of a few reasons that I’ll break down right now:

EVERY girl in the world, well 99.9% of girls, LOVE Starbucks. The moment they hear the word ‘Starbucks’, they get happy.

I went and looked for some polling data to support this statement of his and discovered a Rassmussen poll from 2011 showing that 34% of American coffee drinkers have an unfavorable opinion of Starbucks; an earlier Rassmussen poll found that 73% of Americans think that Starbucks is overpriced and 76% say they rarely if ever visit the stores.

I guess they forgot to ask the cute girls what they thought, huh? Probably a bunch of BETAS.

There’s Starbucks all over the world. If you live in Japan and you’re reading this, you can use this line. If you live in Texas or Canada you can use this line. It’s a Global Friendly Line.

Well, pretty much. I mean, Starbucks is in 64 different countries out of 196 in the world, which means that technically speaking most of the countries in the world don’t actually have any Starbucks in them. There are no Starbucks at all in sub-Saharan Africa, or most countries in South America, or much of Eastern Europe or Central Asia. But frankly, most of the countries that don’t have Starbucks aren’t countries that ALPHA PLAYBOYS want to be hanging out in anyway. Just make sure to check to check this map before you try using this line!

‘Starbucks’ equals comfort drinks/food for most people who go there. When a girl hears the word ‘Starbucks’ come from your mouth, she subconsciously goes to that place of feeling happy, safe, comfortable and content. By it coming out of YOUR mouth, she will automatically associate you with those feelings, albeit to a lesser degree. ANYTHING that you can say that gives you an edge from your opening line is good, because it builds comfort in her.

Other “comfort” words and phrases you might want to try to work into your openers: “pillows,” “puppies,” “mashed potatoes,” and “some place far, far away from Chrisian McQueen.”

When you mention ‘Starbucks’, you’re mentioning a globally recognized BRAND. By being a fan of Starbucks and seeking it out, you’re a part of the ‘club’, the fan club of Starbucks that it.

Chicks LOVE BRANDS! Here’s Forbes’ list of the World’s Most Valuable Brands. See how many you can work into your conversations with the babes! It should be easy to incorporate such well-known names as Microsoft, Oracle, General Electric, Samsung, and Frito-Lay. Extra points if you can manage to mention Siemens without giggling.

When you ask a girl where one is, she’ll automatically put you in the ‘normal human being’ category, because ‘normal’ people drink coffee and usually from Starbucks. Any association with something that is popular and normal helps you build comfort.

Asking where the nearest STARBUCKS is, because you want to drink COFFEE, like a NORMAL PERSON, is good. Asking where the nearest GROCERY STORE DUMPSTER is, because you want to EAT FOOD FROM THE GARBAGE like some DAMN HIPPIE DUMPSTER DIVER is not so good. Unless the babe you’re hitting on is a damn hippie dumpster diver.

You can use STARBUCKS OPENER even if you already know where the nearest Starbucks is, because lying is ok if it helps you to get into a woman’s pants. Just don’t use it if you are literally standing in front of a Starbucks, as field-testing indicates that this approach tends to elicit responses like “right fucking here, you asshole,” and “what the hell is wrong with you?”

Now, Christian McQueen’s advice is good for beginners, but if you’d like to learn how to hit up the ladies Man Boobz style, I suggest that you send me $10,000 for my ebook, MAN BOOBZ GAME which I will start writing the moment someone sends me $10,000 for it.

In it you will learn about 100 different INDIRECT KITTY OPENERS from the basic “I have a kitty,” to more advanced versions like “I have two kitties” to others you’ll have to pay me $10,000 to learn and which I haven’t actually thought up yet, but trust me, they’ll be good.

You’ll learn about DIRECT MAN BOOBZ GAME, achieved by taking indirect openers and adding the phrase “in my pants” to the end of them. Thus “I have kitties” becomes “I have kitties – in my pants.”

You’ll learn the fine art of MAN BOOBZ NEGS and how to respond when the woman you’re talking to gets pissed off that you came up to her out of the blue and insulted her. Take this sample dialogue, using my brilliant “that looks infected” indirect opener which I just thought up thirty seconds ago have extensively field tested.

You: “That looks infected.”

Her: “What the fuck are you talking about? What looks infected?”

You: Um, your nose.”

Her: “My nose is fine, you fucking creep.”

You: “Well, I’ve JUST STARTED MEDICAL SCHOOL so I’m not too good at this diagnosis thing just yet. But in a few years, when I’m MAKING LOTS OF MONEY AS A DOCTOR I will be much better.”

Her: “I only just now noticed how charming and handsome you are.”

Just think, fellas, five or six pages more of this sort of wisdom can be yours for only $10,0000!

I really hope no ladies were reading this because I was really hoping to use the “that looks infected” opener the next time I actually leave my apartment.

Caulking in Her Cock Vault: A New and Improved Chateau Heartiste Crib Sheet of Game

Don't let anyone see you checking your notes!

Don’t let anyone see you checking your notes!

So our dear friend Heartiste, the white-supremacist woman-botherer, has assembled a little “Chateau Heartiste Crib Sheet of Game,” a compilation of some of his best pickup advice, boiled down to a few handy tips and clever one-liners that wannabe alpha males can use on the ladies during conversation in order to get their ginas tingling. (Sorry, that’s the way these guys talk.)

Looking at Heartiste’s list of “lines” I was struck by how generic and, well, frankly unoriginal most of them were, from standard issue negs like “nice shoes. Those are really popular now” and “is she always like this?” to old-school PUA cliches like “I don’t buy girls drinks but you can buy me one” and  “what else do you have going for you besides your looks?” both of which come straight from peacocking PUA pioneer Mystery, the guy with the fuzzy hat and the long-ago-cancelled VH1 show.

Indeed, a lot of Heartiste’s “lines” are as old and stale as he is:

Don’t get clingy

Miss me already?

Hey, hands off the merchandise

If i didn’t know any better i’d say you were trying to pick me up

So I thought I’d do Heartiste a little favor and write up some new lines for him and his fans that are both more original and a bit more honest. Next time you’re in “da club,” Heartiste, why don’t you try some of these out? Some of these I made up myself; some are taken, or adapted, from things you yourself wrote.

Hi, I spend most of my life on the internet trying to figure out how to manipulate drunk women half my age into bed.

People on the internet know me as Heartiste. No, not Fartiste. With an H. No, it’s not a joke. I thought it up myself.

I like to call black people “darkies.” No, not to their face. Anonymously, on the internet.

I’m an alluringly savvy man self-assuredly parrying the clit-hardened jousts of intrigued women.

Too much outbreeding decreases charitable kin-feeling and incentivizes a decadent ennui that severs the citizen’s sense of obligation to his nation and co-ethnics.

A gentlemanly selectiveness honed by years of experience and psychological nimbleness has proved adequate at filtering out women likely to lay like dead fish in my roiling sea of sperm.

If anyone can usurp the lawyercunt in cuntishness, it’s the Twittercunt.

The walls are closing in on the lords of lies and their feels army of emotabots.

Whether our ruling class knows it or they bumble along like drug addicts seeking the next pleasurable injection of power at any cost, their sex-swapping project will turn the West into matricentric, female forager Africa.

Every time we had sex over the following weeks, it ended with her tucking her knees under her chin naked on the bed to quietly cry into the wrapped bubble of her body.

The only bond that matters in a woman’s heart is the one you caulk in her cock vault.

The ruling elites despise whites, despise the concept of whiteness, and despise especially the idea that the territory and nation and culture from which they parasitically suck the lifeblood was created and sustained primarily by white men.

The id of the Like Me Generation is a furry suit wrapping a toddler.

Women should avoid trying to be funny altogether and stick to maximizing the return on their authentically valuable assets. That would be your tits, ass, face and pussy, in case you were wondering.

That last bit was pure Heartiste. (As were the previous ten.) Like the women of the world, I can’t hope to attain such pinnacles of wit.

Saturday Night Live takes on Men’s Rights Activists in Not-Actually Funny Skit

SNL's MRA and his soon-to-be-ex Venezuelan girlfriend

SNL’s MRA and his soon-to-be-ex Venezuelan girlfriend

So this is … interesting. Last night, Saturday Night Live did a sketch, featuring guest host Lena Dunham, about Men’s Rights Activists. Alas, it wasn’t actually funny, or particularly on the mark, and it was kind of, sort of, maybe, a little bit racist (well, ok, a lot), but it did at least give a pretty good impression of what people in the real world think of the MRAs we know and loathe so well. I can’t embed it here, so go take a look at it on Hulu.

The folks in the Men’s Rights subreddit are up in arms about it, and have started not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, but six threads on the subject. (There may be more; that’s all I noticed.) Well, it’s not often they get this much attention, so I guess their excitement is understandable.

Given that the sketch was actually pretty crappy in a lot of ways, the MRAs did have some legitimate complaints to make against it — like the fact that the women in the sketch mocked the MRA character for being an unattractive loser. But naturally the Men’s Rights Redditors managed to undercut even this perfectly reasonable criticism by attacking the women in the sketch for being uggos. (Oh, misogynists, why do you hate Lena Dunham so much?) Here’s a rather delightfully ironic snippet of the discussion:

SNL manages to misinterpret MRA arguments, shame man who are less physically attractive than others by implying they are somehow lesser, says that all MRAs are only MRAs because of bad love experiences, and accuse the MRHM of being pro-life, which is a blatant lie. (hulu.com)  submitted 7 hours ago by Feminists_Are_Jelly      29 comments     share     source     save     hide     give gold     report     hide all child comments  sorted by: hot navigate by: submitter | moderator | friend | admin | IAmA | images | popular | new you are viewing a single comment's thread.  view the rest of the comments →  [–]MockingDead 16 points 6 hours ago (27|11)  A bunch of unattractive unfunny women impugning a man for being not an apex male.      permalink     save     source     save     give gold     hide child comments  [–]ugly_duck 5 points 5 hours ago (16|11)      A bunch of unattractive unfunny women impugning a man for being not an apex male.  Imagine if the genders were reversed.      permalink     save     source     save     parent     give gold  [–]Grubnar 6 points 4 hours ago (12|6)  I am trying ... and I can't. Men are not usually judged by their attractiveness, but by their wealth.

Indeed, I’ve rarely seen irony so thick as in the outraged comments of MRAs in these threads. Here’s another angry Redditor:

Ruwanimo 132 points 14 hours ago (207|75)  I just saw the sketch and am speechless. I am beyond insulted as a male and heartbroken that flagrant sexism and shaming is OK. I can't even imagine how it would look if the genders were reversed.

Heavens! Sexism and shaming! MRAs NEVER engage in either of those things!

Oh, wait. That’s pretty much the entire basis of their movement.

Ruwanimo, you say you can’t imagine how it would look if the genders were reversed? You don’t have to imagine. All you have to do is go to the Men’s Rights subreddit, or A Voice for Men, or any other prominent (or not-so-prominent) Men’s Rights site. Or you could read through the Man Boobz archives. Ta da! Literally hundreds — make that thousands — of examples of MRAs directing “flagrant sexism and shaming” at women. (Also note: this shaming is directed at women, not only at feminists, whereas the SNL skit directed its shaming only at MRAs, not at men in general.)

You’re welcome!

The AgainstMensRights subreddit is also all over this thing, though they’ve limited themselves to four threads — here, here, here and here, which is where I found that first discussion I screenshotted.

Don’t Ask: A Middle-Aged Man’s Creepy Roadmap to a Woman’s “Secret Garden.”

Escalation to the sex location

Escalation to the sex location

Sometimes I scour the internet for hours in search of material for this blog. Other times it just plops right in my lap. Today, it plopped, in the form of a new visitor to this blog by the name of J.S., a 52-year-old married farmer (he said) who brought with him some very old-fashioned ideas about love and romance and how men can best access the “secret gardens” of the pretty ladies of the world.

No, really, he did,proclaming himself an infallable guide to

the ‘secret language’( sub and non-verbal communication), the dating game, or how very attractive women go about choosing which men they let into their secret garden and which ones they don’t.

The primary lesson he tried to impart: that the “secret garden” is a little bit like Fight Club: The first rule of Secret Garden is that dudes can never ask to enter Secret Garden.

Read the rest of this entry

Red Pill Theorist: Women are like children. Except you can have sex with them.

This Morpheus dude may have a point.

This Morpheus dude may have a point.

Put on your thinking caps today, because we are going to wade into the highly rarefied world of Red Pill Theory. Our Guest Lecturer today is a totally ALPHA DOG Red Pill Redditor by the name of GayLubeOil — don’t worry, fellas, he’s straight! — who has some important insights for us all on the nature of women.

Namely, that women are basically just overgrown children. Who give blow jobs.

Let’s let him explain, in a post that’s now Number One With A Sticky in the Red Pill Subreddit.

Treating Women Like Children (self.TheRedPill) submitted 8 hours ago by Endorsed ContributorGayLubeOil - stickied post One of the key tenants of Red Pill is that women act like children. There are many reasons for this. Women are not held accountable for their actions growing up, so they are completely new to the concept of accountability. If a woman sucks a dick, she tells a realy long story about how she was put in a dick sucking situation. Women don't realy believe in their own agency. That's why they often believe in cosmic forces like fate and patriarchy, because nothing they ever do is their fault. If women don't take responsibility for their actions, someone else has to. That's why we have to treat women like children. Obviously, some woman is going to read this have a cascade of feels and then deal with said feels in the most immature way possible.  While Red Pill theory has definitely harsh view of women, the practical application isn't as anti-social as our detractors believe.  One of the things that children suck at, is regulating their internal state. They're too little to know if their hungry, sleepy or if they need to go for a walk. When a child throws a tantrum its often not about the toy, there is often some underlying issue you need to take care of.  As stupid as its sounds you can completely avoid a lot of arguments by ignoring everything she says and going for the underlying problem. I cant believe you never told me that you X! Aww is she hungry. She gets this way when shes hungry. Then just feed her some Greek yogurt or something, and the problem will go away. Or just take her for a walk around the block, because shes just anxious from being at work the entire day.  Red Pill holds that male leadership is the cornerstone of a good relationship. Sometimes that means treating her like a child.

After reading all of that, you may have a few questions. Obviously, the most important question is: why Greek Yogurt? Well, in addition to being very popular with the ladies, it is apparently quite high in iron. Let’s let Professor LubeOil explain why that’s so crucial:

GayLubeOil[S] 44 points 7 hours ago* The reason I used Greek Yogurt as an example is that its high in Iron. A surprising number of women are anemic which means they bruise easily. Its obviusly not your fault that she cant get enough nutrients into her body. However You don't want to be seen walking around with a bruised woman. Which is why GayLubeOil recommends feeding your anemic woman Greek Yogurt mixed with pomegranate so you don't look like an abusive asshole. If you are an abusive asshole yogurt and pomegranate will not fix or prevent hemotoma. Sorry abusive assholes.  permalinkparentgive gold [–]Knoxhon_ 8 points 5 hours ago Sorry abusive assholes.  lmfao
Well, with that critical issue taken care of in a totally not creepy or red-flaggy kind of way, let’s move on to some of the serious discussion Professsor LubeOil’s thesis inspired in the Red Pill Subreddit.

Ah, who am I kidding? They mainly just posted comments about how totally right he was and how women totally are a bunch of overgrown children. But saying women are children is totes not misogyny!

Usherai 39 points 7 hours ago For all the accusations of misogyny thrown at TRP, I don't think most guys, even here, go far enough. Women are exactly like children in that without strong male leadership they will ruin themselves by being slaves to their emotions and short-sightedness. Their inability to take responsibility for themselves means that men need to be the ones directing, influencing, and manipulating their emotions into beneficial behaviors and pursuits.  This means that the mindset RP men should have in their relationships with women is one of complete and utter superiority. Your analysis and suggestions are pretty spot on.
And, heck, even if a dude maybe is a teensy bit of a misogynist, what’s the big deal, so long as it convinces him to treat his women properly — that is, like you would treat special needs children.

GayLubeOil[S] 41 points 7 hours ago Even if someone is a blatant misogynist and thinks women are completely inferior to men, that doesn't necessarily translate into him treating women poorly. Lets say you had a special needs child . The kids obviously intellectually inferior, to you and his peers. You knowing this doesn't make you an asshole. Knowing this and admitting this is the first step in being a good parent for this kid. Yea maybe you have to wipe his mouth after he eats or pick up after him a bit more. But pretending that he is a totally normal kid is going to make you a shittier parent than admitting the truth. That's why you should do what men have done for most of human history:treat women like women instead of pretending that they are men with breasts.  permalinkparentgive gold [–]Knoxhon_ 14 points 5 hours ago misogyny isn't about superior/inferior. it's about a hatred of women as a group. this is a common misconception.  permalinkparentgive gold [–]Endorsed ContributorDemonspawn 13 points 4 hours ago But so much of the population has equality disease: thinking someone isn't equal must be coming from hate... because they are equal, don'tchaknow!

Damn those feminazis and their “equality!” Why, it’s almost un-American!

Slit Ass Birch Ho: The sad tale of a nice guy thwarted

slitass2slitass3

And that is just the beginning of a wondrous little exchange between a self-described “nice guy” trying out some bad boy charm on a not-very receptive woman on OkCupid who nonetheless deals with his ridiculous assholery with aplomb.

Note to “nice guy.” You might want to reconsider some of your assumptions. And work on your typing.

I found this on the endlessly fascinating, if often deeply disturbing, CreepyPMs subreddit, one of Reddit’s few redeeming features. You can read the rest of the conversation here, and the CreepyPM post here.

Vox Day: My orc and troll fighting game won’t have any women in it, because that wouldn’t be historically accurate

If you want historically accurate male-on-male combat action, the U.S. Poultry & Egg Association Board of Directors Simulator 3000: 2011 Edition is the way to go

If you want historically accurate male-on-male combat action, the U.S. Poultry & Egg Association Board of Directors Simulator 3000: 2011 Edition is the way to go

So our old friend Vox Day is working on a video game. And he’s decided to make a bold and unprecedented choice in his design of the game: he’s not going to have any ladies in it.

But it turns out this choice has nothing to do with anything so pedestrian as misogyny. In fact, it was the only rational choice he could make. Let’s let him explain. He has such a way with words. (He’s apparently some sort of writer.)

I am a game designer. I am designing and producing a game that does not, and will not, have a single female character in it. This is not because I am misogynistic. This is not because I do not women to play the game. This is because putting women in the game makes no sense, violates the principle of the suspension of disbelief, and will not make the game any better as a game.

Well, that makes sense. I mean, the game is probably some game that has to have only male characters to be believable. You know, like Dance Party with the American Presidents or the U.S. Poultry & Egg Association Board of Directors Simulator 3000 or something like that.

I am the lead designer of First Sword, a combat management game. The game has orcs and men, elves and dwarves. It has goblins and trolls. But it has no women.

Uh, wait. It’s a combat game filled with orcs, goblins and trolls, but putting women in it would “violate …  the principle of the suspension of disbelief.”

Because the game is a gladiator game. Women cannot credibly fight as gladiators. We don’t put women in the game for the same reason we don’t put bunny rabbits or children in the game.

Well, why not? You put fucking orcs in it. Why not make a combat game with bunny rabbits?

Actually, someone already did that. It’s called Overgrowth. And it’s supposed to be pretty good.

Putting women in the game would be an act of brutal sadism, an act of barbarism even by pagan Roman standards. While the Romans did occasionally put female gladiators in the arena, they were there as a comedic act.

Really? This is a VIDEO GAME. You can do whatever you want with it. It is really harder to imagine a woman being able to fight a man than it is to imagine entire races of imaginary humanoid creatures?

We could, of course, throw out historical verisimilitude. But we’re not going to. Because we value that verisimilitude far more than we value the opinion of a few whiny women who don’t play the sort of games we make anyhow.

Historical verisimilitude? Historical verisimilitude?!

YOU’RE MAKING A GAME ABOUT ORCS AND TROLLS.

ORCS AND TROLLS DO NOT EXIST.

THEY HAVE NEVER EXISTED.

THERE IS NO HISTORY THAT INCLUDES ORCS AND TROLLS.

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