Category Archives: self-promotion
The Man Boobz Empire is expanding into new territory. Namely, Tumblr, with the grand opening of Man Boobz on Tumblr! I will be using the new platform to plug posts here, to blog and reblog about interesting stuff beyond what I write about here, and of course to post more pics. Like the one here, which is a fairly accurate summary of way too many discussions on Reddit and elsewhere on the internets. Will there also be pics of kitties? Yes, yes there will.
There’s a big social justice/feminist contingent on Tumblr, and this will help to reach them, and also to relay some of what they’re talking about to you all. It’ll also allow me to respond to stuff that’s going on a lot more quickly.
Also, while we’re talking about Tumblr: Alexander Ryking, that misogynist Tumblr dude we were talking about the other day? He’s been removed as a politics editor on Tumblr. Ta da!
Well, the votes are in, and the People’s Choice is clear: NWOslave is the 2011 Man Boobz Troll of the Year! Not only that, but he won in a landslide, racking up more votes than both of his opponents combined!
He wins a little tiara, though he need to buy it and pay for it himself.
But fans of David K. Meller and Arks, do not be disappointed — there are more awards to come, and the winners will be announced over the next couple of days. Do not be surprised to see one or both of these trolls winning something quite special indeed.
In the meantime, in celebration of NWOslave’s awesome win, I present to you the latest edition of the NWOslave Book of Learnin’, as created and maintained by the redoubtable Shaenon! The entries below all reflect things that NWOslave has taught us all in his many, now award-winning, comments on Man Boobz. Read and learn!
The Book of Learnin’
Indispensable Facts About the Universe from NWO
Awards Season Edition (Not for Resale)
Evolution is impossible, because otherwise we’d be able to watch dogs evolve into super-dogs. Unless anyone can produce evidence of dogs with super-powers, evolution is a myth.
The theory of evolution claims that life came from rocks. It also states that evolution doesn’t occur anymore because rocks are no longer in make-life mode.
The theory of evolution is the same as the Big Bang theory, which is also impossible.
In the animal kingdom, females entice males with their spectacular plumage and elaborate mating displays.
Female animals cannot feed themselves and rely on males to support them. Even in cases where this seems untrue, the males are still tougher. For example, female lions do all the hunting in the pride, but if they come across a really tough enemy, like a hyena, they run and get the male lion to fight for them.
Feminists claim that one in four women is raped in college. But since college lasts for four years, you have to multiply that by four. Therefore, feminists are really saying that 100% of women are raped in college, which is obviously untrue, not to mention proof that women are bad at math.
There are only three percentages in statistics: 0%, 99%, and 100%. In statistical analysis, all numbers should be rounded to one of these three. COROLLARY: If people notice this and start suggesting that you’re just making your statistics up, it is mathematically acceptable to add some other really high numbers at random.
“Zero-sum game” is a fancy term for a game that ends in a tie.
There are two kinds of numbers, quantative and qualative.
Children are lined up and injected with a dangerous chemical called flouride to make them stupid.
Mammograms cause breast cancer. Doctors advise women to get mammograms at least once a week until they develop cancer from it.
Many hospitals are open only to women and children. They’re not maternity/pediatric hospitals, just regular hospitals run by people who refuse to treat men for no reason.
All drugs and medication are unsafe except marijuana.
Male suicide is caused by society trying to feminize men, which makes them so depressed they kill themselves. Before modern feminism, suicide was practically non-existent.
After an abortion, the fetus is chopped into pieces and thrown into the nearest river or lake to feed the fish.
If the FDA worked, we’d have cures for cancer, diabetes, and every disease and ailment. Since we don’t, it’s not doing anything useful and should be abolished.
All therapists are women and feminists.
Reading is not taught in American public schools.
Public schools offer two kinds of math: traditional arithmetic and New Math. Children are allowed to choose which one to learn.
Before feminism, male children were not required to do homework or pay attention in class. Homework and paying attention were invented in the 1970s to get boys in trouble.
Before feminism, schools did not have hall monitors.
How-to courses on homosexuality are taught in public schools. This is how people become gay.
Men are not permitted to work as teachers in the U.S.
The University of Cincinnati and all University of California schools have gotten rid of their engineering and computer science departments and replaced them with women’s studies and gender studies.
Thanks to the power of Title IX (see Law), all but two colleges in the U.S. are assembling organized Sex Police Forces made up of female students and faculty. There are plans to extend this program to grade schools.
There are twice as many teachers and half as many students in U.S. schools as there were 20 years ago. These teachers spend class time walking around in their underwear to arouse elementary-school boys.
Ancient Greece, Rome, Persia, and China under the Ming Dynasty were extremely progressive, feminist societies. That’s why they collapsed.
Before modern feminism, rape was a rare occurrence and almost unheard-of.
All wars in history were started by women nagging their husbands to invade other countries to get pretty dresses.
The Americas were discovered by Queen Isabella, who ordered every man in Europe to sail westward to get exotic jewels, perfumes and silks for her. It was a stroke of luck that Columbus found land before the entire male population of Europe perished in a watery grave.
Lynchings in the American South consisted of women accusing men of rape because they were man-hating feminists. Race had nothing to do with it; it was just as easy for a black woman to get a white man lynched as vice versa. In cases where the man was lynched on an accusation from another man, the lynchings were justified.
In 1919, women took control of all levels of government and law enforcement. Since then, every law in the U.S. has been written and enacted by women. There have been no male politicians, judges, or police officers for over 90 years.
The CIA imported feminism from the Soviet Union by publishing Ms. magazine and Miss Mag and channeling funds to a woman named Gloria Steinen.
Any history text written after the early 1500s is an unreliable source.
The word “suffrage” is derived from the verb “to suffer,” because voting is hard.
Spanish and Russian use the same alphabet. The Russians just have a funny kind of handwriting called cryillic script.
Arts and Literature
The Iliad is the story of how Queen Helen of Troy ordered two armies to fight over her. It is based on a true story.
The classical Greek play The Bacchae is a celebration of the roving lesbian gang that murdered the musician Orpheus. It is based on a true story.
The musical Chicago is a polemic about how men should be shot to death. It was written by a female college student last year.
All horror movies are about a pretty girl being stalked and assaulted by an evil man. In the end, she kills him and walks away alive.
All TV shows have the same plot as horror movies, except that the pretty girl is assisted by an all-female investigative team, with a single man in charge. At the end of every episode, the victim sits in a one-way mirrored room, watching the chained-up man with a smug look on her face. Then one of the women from the investigative team squeezes her arm.
Most girls and women over the age of twelve wear see-through tops and micro-miniskirts on all occasions. Although their skirts are so short their genitals hang out, they do not wear underwear.
Women only dress to attract men—all men. If a woman leaves the house in clothes, she wants to have sex with any man she meets. Men, on the other hand, never dress to look attractive.
Women become sexually aroused by wearing clothes.
All U.S. law, from the Constitution down, has been supplanted by the extremely powerful Title IX, a law requiring that all educational, government, and private institutions be 100% female. Title IX has its own police force, which is exactly like the Nazi SS. This takeover of the government was orchestrated by Russlynn Ali, Assistant Secretary for Civil Rights in the U.S. Department of Education, who now rules the U.S. as supreme dictator.
Laws in the U.S. and Britain are made by a panel of unelected advisors, who commission an independent legal review. Once the review is published anywhere, it becomes a law.
If the names on a contract are in all caps, those people are legally corporations. If they’re in mixed case, the contract is invalid.
Requiring people to take a vision test to get a driver’s license is an atrocity on the level of the Holocaust, Pol Pot’s genocide, and the famous Communist massacre of Christians.
The United States is a communist dictatorship. If it were a free country, people wouldn’t have to pay taxes or get licenses to drive.
Each law has its own police force and legal system. For example, if you urinate in public, the special Urination Police will arrest you.
False reporting of rape is the most serious and common crime in the U.S. The most common reasons for a woman to make up a rape accusation are cheating, revenge, excuse for missed homework, lateness, work absence, and attention-getting.
The average man is falsely accused of rape and thrown into prison without trial on a daily basis. Available statistics say otherwise because the true numbers are kept under wraps by the CIA.
Gay people are fifteen times more likely than straight people to be violent criminals. All the worst serial killers in history were gay.
California has replaced its women’s prisons with spas to reward female criminals for committing crimes.
All financial crises are caused by the Federal Reserve, which is run by the Rothchild family.
All the real-estate speculators who caused the housing bubble were women.
Maternity/paternity leave is the single biggest drain on the economy. If companies got rid of parental leave, it would create enough wealth that all women would be able to quit their jobs and be full-time mothers, like they’re supposed to.
There are no poor women. Whenever a woman needs anything, she sits in the middle of the street and cries, and passerby throw food and money at her for free.
Women control 80% of the world’s wealth, thanks to all the crying.
Because of Title IX (see Law), businesses with government contracts are required to hire only women to meet gender quotas.
The few businesses owned or run by women are nonprofit organizations dedicated to hurting men.
For every dollar women donate to charities to help men, men donate ten billion dollars to help women.
There are only two kinds of charities in existence: charities that only help women, and charities that only help women and children.
Women give a trillion dollars a year to charities, but these “charities” actually fronts for the huge corporations these women own. Economists are still trying to determine how women can simultaneously run all big corporations and only run small man-hating nonprofits.
Nonprofit organizations operate by photocopying fliers, posting them on walls around town, then sitting back and waiting for the money to roll in. Even though the average nonprofit doesn’t do anything else, it’s much too hard for a man to start one, because men are so oppressed.
Everyone takes orders from the U.N. and the Jews.
Without government, homosexuality would not exist.
In war, women act as “cheerleaders” for both sides at once, goading otherwise peaceful men to fight. These women have no political goals or opinions; they just like watching men die.
Russia is the “deathplace capital of the world” for men because feminism was invented there (see Feminism). It is the most feminist country on earth.
All taxes in Scandinavian countries go toward women’s causes. Scandinavian grade schools have a holiday where girls are given cookies and ice cream, while boys are given stale matzo. Men in Scandinavian countries are imprisoned for farting.
Portugal and Spain are populated mostly by brown people.
Judaism is a nationality.
Marriage and Family
Somewhere in the U.S. is a place called The Ghetto, where between 70% and 99% of households consist of unemployed single mothers living entirely off welfare. Also, everyone in The Ghetto is black. Sociologists are still struggling to determine why women in The Ghetto don’t support themselves as other women do, by sitting in the street and crying until people throw stuff at them (see Economics).
99% of feminist marriages end in divorce.
The vast majority of violent rapists come from female-led households, because the feminist indoctrination boys receive in such households makes them so angry they have to go out and rape people to let off steam.
When you get married, the government owns you through your marriage contract. This is why the government can make divorced people pay alimony and/or child support.
Fatherhood is illegal in Britain and there are plans to outlaw it in the U.S. soon.
Judaism is the most aggressively evangelical religion on earth. Less than 5% of Jews are ethnically Jewish, while the rest are recruited from the tireless Jewish recruitment efforts.
Catholics worship the Virgin Mary.
In the story of Jesus saving the adulteress from stoning, the moral is that sinners deserve to be stoned.
All child molesters are either women or gay men. Straight men are never pedophiles.
Prepubescent girls desperately want to have sex with middle-aged milking-machine technicians. They advertise this desire by wearing swimsuits to the beach.
Feminism is a highly organized international movement created in the Soviet Union and currently funded by the United Nations.
Phyllis Schlafly has worked tirelessly throughout her life to promote feminist causes.
Predictions of the Future
Someday a straight white man will beat up a lesbian for molesting a five-year-old. Everyone in the world will sympathize with the lesbian and immediately legalize child molestation.
In 100 years, white people will have gone extinct because white women didn’t reproduce enough. Archeologists discovering the remains of Western culture will laugh at us for letting women have rights.
Thus concludeth the Book of Learnin
Also, here’s a cat in a tiara:
Share your opinions on the candidates in the comments below!
Trolls are allowed to vote for themselves!
Readers! Commenters! I am now (a bit late, I know) collecting nominations for Man Boobz Troll of the Year. Put forward your choice (or choices), and make the case for them, in the comments below. Feel free to make up your own categories for Troll Awards as well; I want to recognize the many and varied contributions of our many and varied trolls.
The winner(s) will receive little tiaras. But they have to go buy them for themselves, with their own money.
I am also collecting nominations for Man Boobz Troll Hunter of the Year – that is, the commenter or commenters here who you think have fought the good fight in the bestest possible ways. Again, you are free to make up your own categories for these awards.
The winner(s) here will receive a FREE viewing of the movie TrollHunter!It’s Norwegian! And really quite awesome, a faux documentary about the life of a Trolljegeren working secretly for the Norwegian government. Scary and hilarious!
Oh, and by “free viewing” I mean you can watch it on Netflix instant, if you’ve got Netflix. Hey, I’m kind of broke here. On the plus side, you can watch it even if you don’t win!
Time for a little Man Boobz Dance Party: Yesterday, this little blog logged its 100,000th comment. Not page view, comment. (The number of page views is a bit over 2.5 million.) And that’s not even counting the forum.
So let’s have a big round of applause for all the Man Boobz commenters. I couldn’t have done it without you folks! Seriously, since you were the ones writing the comments. I thank you all, trolls and humans alike!
With a typical comment being about 100 words or so (I looked at samples of comments in several different threads and averaged, then rounded it off to a nice simple number), that means you guys have generated more than 10 million words of commentary.
10 freakin million. That’s more than nine times the length of the entire Harry Potter series (1,084,170 words), and almost 7 times the length of Proust’s A la Receherche du Temps Perdu.
If each of these words were a kitty, that would be more kitties than the entire cat population of France.
If each of these words-turned-into-kitties were then turned into a penguin, you’d have more than the entire penguin population of Antarctica.
To celebrate, here’s a video of a cat dressed in a penguin costume, eating fish, a food beloved by both kitties and penguins.
Our videomaking friend Graham, also known as Some Grey Bloke, is back, finally. In his new video, he explains his long absence, due in part to what seems to have been a rather large misunderstanding between him and the Men’s Rights Activists of the world, who somehow interpreted the newfound enthusiasm for Men’s Rights he showed in his last video as a sort of satire. (How could anyone be drawn to mock or satirize the serious and important Men’s Rights movement?)
Anyway, here’s his new video. And below it, his previous video on “The Manosphere,” which seems to have gotten 49,208 more views than my last video on the subject. Which I’ve also embedded below. It’s not as good as his, but perhaps you could watch it also.
I didn’t bother to watch the VMAs last night, but something in the air has led me to want to give out some awards of my own. So: the coveted Man Boobz “We Hunted the Mammoth” Award this month goes to some comments from MRA oddball Uncle Elmer on women in the workplace that were recently highlighted on the Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Technology blog. They are, of course, magnificently stupid.
Without further ado, here are some of the choicer bits of Elmer’s rant.
Women are competing for jobs but are not creating them. Other than providing a mass market for their vanity products, they are not forging new industries or technologies. …
Though men shank me and insult me, only men provide me with opportunity. … Only men, and only a small fraction of them, take the risks that create industry and opportunity. Women can only serve as mere functionaries in man-created structures. When an organization becomes feminized, priority shifts from efficient and profitable production of goods and services to development of labarynthine rules for the comfort and security of women. …
No woman can or will provide me or any man employment, yet all western women feel entitled to help and opportunities from men, even as they drive men out of the workplace.
[W]orkplace women are your enemy. They cannot help you but can and will hurt you. Do not look at them, do not talk to them.
And now the “we hunted the mammoth” moment:
Females want to inhabit man-created business structures as if those structures existed before man appeared on the veldt. … When you have pushed the last man out of the corporation it will collapse under its own dead weight.
And while I’m handing out awards, I’d like to give the Man Boobz Whaaaa?! Award for the strangest, dumbest and least true thing said about me in the past week to Wytchfinde (presumably the same guy who used to comment here as Wytchfinde555), who posted this strange and not-altogether-grammatical comment on my latest YouTube video (which you should all go watch if you haven’t already).
David Futrelle is an opportunist that pretends to worship white women (which is true to a certain extent) helps just fuel more fire for hating men.
Ok, folks, the Man Boobz Forum is now REALLY up, and on a platform that I think will be better than the one I originally chose. It’s got more options (for me and for you all), looks a bit sleeker, and doesn’t force your gender into a box! Go here! Register! Post!
If you registered and/or posted on the original forum, up briefly earlier today, sorry! There’s no way to transfer your registration or comments over to the new forum , so you’ll have to register again. Again, I apologize for the inconvenience but I think the benefits of the new platform will more than make up for it.
Thanks Ami, for advice and help in setting up the new forum. And thanks, Sarah, for seeding the old forum with some great topics. I’m going to transfer those posts over myself.
See you there!
BREAKING NEWS: Because of the gender issue and other issues people have raised with proboards, I will be moving the forum to another platform, probably phpBB. Just give me a few hours! I’ve locked the proboards forum down in the meantime. Post below with any thoughts and/or advice.
You asked for it – well, a majority of those who took the poll did. You got it! The Man Boobz Forum is open for business. Right here, right now.
I hope the discussions here on the blog will remain long and spirited and sprawly, but now you guys have a place to go to discuss, well, whatever you want to discuss, actually (within the limits of the forum’s comments policy, which you should all read). Raise you own issues, link to Man Booby stuff, link to off-topic stuff, link to your own blog, talk about books, talk about Magyck the Gendering cards, plan get-togethers, you name it. One bit of warning: I’m going to try to keep discussions on the forum a little more civilized than they tend to be here on the blog; this means I will be more stringent about the commenting rules and much quicker to ban offenders, temporarily or permanently.
I encourage everyone who regularly comments here (and who wants to post on the forum) to register there using the same nickname you use here. Also, please post a comment here after I approve you (just to verify that it’s really you behind both accounts). If you’re a regular commenter here and you’re interested in being a moderator of the forum, let me know.
Note on gender: Not everyone here identifies themselves as male or female. Unfortunately, proboards requires you to check either “male” or “female” when registering. The good news, for those who don’t fit the gender binary or who simply don’t want people to know what gender they are, is that you don’t have to display your gender in your profile or posts. (Go to your profile, and click “modify profile” and you’ll find a way to “hide” your gender as well as other ways to customize your profile.)
Post any feedback you have about the forum here or on the forum itself.