>The Mousetrap Vagina


We return again to a young up-and-comer on NiceGuy’s MGTOW forum, a fellow calling himself Nightstorm. Though a proud virgin, Nightstorm has some highly advanced theories about vaginas and the women who host them:

Its almost like a mouse trap is on a womans vagina, where when a men has to carefully insert his penis hoping not to spring the trap. If he is successful, he gets a free ride. If he is like most men, unsucessful, the trap springs, claps his penis into the vagina of the woman, and soon poisnous venom streams from her vagina and injects itself into the male genital.

This poison then creeps into the male brain and literally makes him stupid, it shuts down his intellect, and activates all his hormones for more pussy. She’s got the bastard. Now she can slowly but surely take all his wealth and keep pumping more poison into him. The man feels trapped, he can’t remove his penis from the vagina for the life of him, but he enjoys that pussy, so he continues to let himself get robbed.

Emphasis added.

It’s astounding that he’s able to discern so much about vaginas despite having had no actual contact with them since the moment of his birth.

Luckily for him, and luckily for the women of the world, Nightstorm has no plans to acquire any hands-on (or, more precisely, penis-in) experience with vaginas in the near future. In a later comment, he spells out some of the reasons for his continued abstinence (besides the whole poison-mousetrap thing): fear of STDs, fear of pregnancy, and fear of, well, this scenario:

if she was a virgin, how I would have to deal with the hassle of possible bleeding. Its not so hott when I make her spew red and white blood cells all over the sheets and doing it in the bathtub would required poor foreplay and not comfortable or roomy space. If she is a heavy weight girl, then there goes my bathtub, broken.

And if if, say, he’s somehow able to avoid the perils of STDs, pregnancy, icky blood and a broken bathtub, then what?

Well, then I would have to deal with her wanting more in the relationship, such as meeting her family, or perhaps even paying her for it, or her expecting some sort of “favor” in return for sex which we both equally enjoyed. 

Yeah, nothing ruins a nice evening of dipping your penis in a bloody, poison-infused mousetrap like the owner of said mousetrap asking you to meet her parents. 

EDITED TO ADD: Sometimes people complain that I focus on the weird fringes of the MGTOW world. Thing is, within the MGTOW world, these things aren’t regarded as weird or fringey. Indeed, one of the comments I quoted above from Nightstorm was just highlighted on MarkyMark’s blog as an example of MGTOW thinking at its finest:

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: we truly have some of the BEST & BRIGHTEST men in the world on there [that is, on NicGuy’s MGTOW forum]!  What you’re about to read will provide yet more proof of that.

Anyway, NowhereMan & Nightstorm were discussing CNN piece about how men supposedly have the upper hand in sexual matters.  What they say is gold, pure gold!  It’s stuff that my boys should read and heed. …

Even if you’re not religious, there are PRACTICAL reasons for avoiding sex with women.  The most important of these is to keep your power.  Sex is a woman’s ‘nuclear option’; take that away, and you take away a woman’s power over you. 

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About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon, Time.com, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on January 21, 2011, in evil women, men who should not ever be with women ever, MGTOW, misogyny, nightstorm, precious bodily fluids, sex, vaginas. Bookmark the permalink. 49 Comments.

  1. >I thought vagina poison was common knowledge by now.

  2. >I feel really sorry for this guy, and suspect (based on his aversion to meeting new people and aversion to bodily fluids) that he has some form of undiagnosed Asperger's.

  3. >SEX EDUCATION TIEMZ.Nightstorm, honey, virgins often have lost their hymens through using tampons, masturbation or accident long before they had sex. I, for instance, lost my hymen when I fell off a horse in third grade.Even in cases when a woman has an intact hymen, bleeding is very rarely that excessive. Usually there are only a few drops of blood. There are rare cases in which a woman's hymen is particularly resilient; this can often cause pain with intercourse and, iirc, may be treated by a gynecologist. There is quite a lot of blood when you fuck a woman on her period, but that can usually be dealt with by putting down towels. SEX EDUCATION TIEMZ OVER.

  4. >Ozymandias: You lie, you man-hating, army-boot-wearing abortion-loving feminist! Also, school sex education is just propaganda full of lies. In reality, when a woman has sex for the first time, blood gushes out of her evil vagina as out of a fireman's hose, pinning the helpless male to the wall opposite the bed (or the bathtub, as the case may be). It's horrible. The room post virgin coitus looks like a scene out of Dexter. After the first time, though, there is no more gushing of blood. Just venom.[/end sarcasm]

  5. >It sounds like this guy has made exactly the right lifestyle choice for himself. It's a pity there aren't more more monasteries around to accommodate him. One which mandates a vow of silence would be ideal.

  6. >Lady Victoria –I feel sorry for the guy to a degree as well. The problem is that instead of getting therapy to deal with his issues he's found a group of people online who are happy to tell him that all his fears are justified and that it's all the fault of evil women. The more time he spends with them the less likely he will ever be able to have any kind of healthy relationship with a women.

  7. >Haha, like any person every broke a cast iron bathtub, ever. Also, I'm pretty sure my vag was poisonous before I ever had sex. Also, just standing in the vicinity of it will poison susceptible individuals.

  8. >clairedammit:Wow…you're, like, one of the X-Men aren't you? Virulent vaginal toxin is your mutant power, right? That's pretty awesome. 🙂

  9. >clairedammit, I think maybe he's confused because any "heavy weight girl" will outweigh the bowling ball (I) and therefore must surely fall through the bathtub (K) in the mouse trap game diagram.

  10. >@ David:This is one of the reasons why I rather wish there was better mental health screening available for kids. If this had been caught when he was younger, then he might have been able to get some good treatment and not end up hating half of humanity. The problem that comes with Asperger's is that the symptoms aren't obvious, so it's hard to pick up on. Most undiagnosed Aspies are just seen as 'weird.' Of course, it's also possible that he's a deeply closeted gay guy, in which case I also feel sorry for him.

  11. > poisnous venom streams from her vagina and injects itself into the male genital.This poison then creeps into the male brain and literally makes him stupid, it shuts down his intellect…Perhaps he was raised in the Highlands of Papua New Guinea.

  12. >Also, his comment, 'sex which we both equally enjoyed…' I doubt I could enjoy sex with someone who was convinced my vagina was a repository of mind-altering poison and was spending half his time trying to avoid springing the hidden traps.

  13. >I don't think he's gay. I think the vast majority of MGTOWs are completely straight. It's the perpetual misogynist paradox: they hate what they desire, and the intensity of their hatred is in many cases driven by the intensity of their desire.

  14. >What are you doing…Dave?

  15. >I think you're right, David. In order to have sex with ladies, men need ladies. And since our society has made sexual experience a condition of manhood, men need sex and women to verify their masculinity. Since men have no authority they can use to compel sex, women who won't have sex with men are not just not having sex with them, they're robbing the men of the social proof of their manhood.

  16. >@Hide and seek – my eyes just went crossed while reading that.ugh – THANKS doofus.

  17. >I agree completely, sexual intercourse is a creation of our society and patriarchy. us women need to fight this kind of nonsense and stop having sex all together. only then can we consider ourselves truly liberated. the only reason men want to have sex with women is because of that patriarchy and oppression of women. without that men would realize that sexual desire is sick and unnatural.I really appreciate this nice blog dave, where we are free to express our opinions.

  18. >He only used an illustration to make real the constant message that is on those boards. So the underlying fear is common to that group, the way he expressed it, is..for manboobz. lol. (and now I get to think of myself as "hosting" a vagina. Cute, David. lol)

  19. >@greenthumbedYou're a troll. Or you have a lot to learn about feminism.

  20. >@Scarecrow:Yeah, it was pretty dense. Did you call me a doofus?

  21. >@ ScareCrow: Were you trying to make a point?@ discussion: "they hate what they desire, and the intensity of their hatred is in many cases driven by the intensity of their desire."That's what I don't understand: WHY do they hate what they desire? Because they can't get it?

  22. >@Hide N Seek:Yes. Right. I am running it past a group of scientists now – but all I hear from behind the laboratory door is a bunch of laughing.Hang on – I'm gonna go see what's so funny…

  23. >@ ScareCrow:You're unpleasant. Message received.

  24. >Riddle for you:If men are truly going their own way, why do they talk of women all day?I'm sure I'm not the first to make that observation, they beg the question. Feminists spend very little time talking about "men" in a general sense, on the other hand these anti-feminist sites are dedicated to moaning about women on the whole. And there is a poster here that says feminists have done lots of pissing and moaning over the last several decades. OK, but that's HIS irritation with social change. Take the booboo challenge:Go to Ms. or Feministing, or a blog listed here on the side, and just see how many articles are complaining about men. Oh, none? Come on there should be one. Link me to one, I want to check it out. Link me your favorite one. (so far none of the booboochallenges have been met.) *giggle*

  25. >greenthumb, you really need to work on your trolling. Way too obvious. I'm guessing you're probably just ScareCrow. Maybe not, but definitely a troll.

  26. >Wow, someone has no conception of the basic principles of anatomy.

  27. >Is there a problem money can't solve? If you have enough wealth to worry about it being drained away by your hypothetical tub-destroying girlfriend, then might I suggest a better bathtub?http://www.luxurybath.com/Puts some of that cash in a form she can't easily grab while preventing her fat ass from demolishing your bathroom. Plus a luxurious soak is very relaxing; combine it with regular exercise and massage and you might calm down enough to stop worrying about those toxic vaginae.

  28. >I'm not sure if I should feel sorry for this guy. It seems a bit like he is REALLY frustrated about not getting laid and tries to make the people who do have sex look dumb/inferior ("This poison then creeps into the male brain and literally makes him stupid, it shuts down his intellect, and activates all his hormones for more pussy.")I think it's a win-win situation. He makes sure he doesn't get laid and can feel superior, and thus makes sure that no one will have to have the experience of having sex with him (which is, considering his knowledge of anatomy – or lack thereof – most likely to be highly unpleasant for both parties). Also: damn you, ScareCrow ): Scarecrow is one of my favourite Batman characters! Do you have to sully his name?

  29. >Guys in the MGTOW movement are slave-moralists and think like fucked-up virgins. I've made two posts on my blog about thathttp://avpd0nmmng.wordpress.com/2010/12/19/the-masterslave-morality-in-the-manosphere/http://avpd0nmmng.wordpress.com/2010/12/18/proof-that-mrs-think-like-fucked-up-virgins/I have a whole section of my blog about themhttp://avpd0nmmng.wordpress.com/category/mra/

  30. >wow I'm so incredibly glad that women not only have parasites that somehow affect mens' brains via their penises but society tells us to do this because we somehow owe men sex! AWESOME! I think my boyfriend will be thrilled to know that I owe him sex even though it is going to give him some funky brain parasite!

  31. >Why do I keep thinking about The 40-Year-Old Virgin, where Andy's talking about how, you know, it's totally common knowledge that a woman's boob feels like a bag of sand or whatever? This Nightstorm guy is actually pretty hilarious, which is a delightful change from the usual MGTOW crap. I'm picturing him as a 13-year-old boy whose main sources of information about the opposite sex are Ronnie James Dio songs and MGTOW web sites. Gaia help him.

  32. >This guy's an idiot. Not all virgins bleed. Not all virgins even have a hymen to break.Also "Hur hur! Fat people are so funny!!1one!" Maybe he doesn't own a bathtub and therefore has as much information on them as he does the female reproductive system.

  33. >Hide and Seek said… I think you're right, David. In order to have sex with ladies, men need ladies. And since our society has made sexual experience a condition of manhood, men need sex and women to verify their masculinity. Since men have no authority they can use to compel sex, women who won't have sex with men are not just not having sex with them, they're robbing the men of the social proof of their manhood. The problem women are called sluts and hoes for having sex with men. When some men get the sex they "need" they use it to hurt the woman who gave it to them. How exactly should we solve this catch 22?

  34. >greenthumb is actually Keith Olbermann. He's got more time on his hands now. (Had to work it in)I'm sure it's dead around here because all the MRAs are mourning the loss of KO all over the place. I'm guessing that's the side they do fall to on the political spectrum, or am I just way off on this? ————-xtra, did you ever notice that WOMEN are the only ones that seem to think this is a catch 22, and so many men (the ones here) have no problem, and prefer this patriarchal two lane highway for women, as I call it. They want their whores, and they wanna hit them too.

  35. >OK, we all agree that the guy is a weirdo. But put into perspective his admittedly extreme views are not so far off from what a lot of people think. The rejection of the human body with all its natural functions was not invented by MGTOW movement. Puritanism is the framework of his views. The notion that the human body, especially genitals, is icky does not only regard the female but the male body as well. I think it's worthwhile to analyze his views in a broader context.

  36. >@xtraSure, but women slut-shame, too.The solution is pretty easy. Everybody stops slut-shaming women and virgin-shaming men. Problem solved.

  37. >Booboo -You never have to ask if you're way off on anything. As a rule of thumb, you're way off on everything.

  38. >Dr. Deeze, the day you actually make an argument and not a joke, I'll listen instead of laugh. (heh heh, pwnt, as the kids say)

  39. >Booboonation – The only joke here is the assertion that you know how to argue.

  40. >Deezee has a point Booboo. Feminist propaganda is not what I would class as a real argumentEverytime I see feminist like you make post, I get this image in my headhttp://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://cache2.asset-cache.net/xc/50368119.jpg%3Fv%3D1%26c%3DIWSAsset%26k%3D2%26d%3DE41C9FE5C4AA0A140E83BFA1E22E41CF9E741B1EEEA897592098F6D0B4E8FEF0B01E70F2B3269972&imgrefurl=http://www.life.com/image/50368119&usg=__XhQkAfaZHCrKr15FVW-hZLGswkg=&h=594&w=393&sz=36&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=PKzYUx2E4J8Y5M:&tbnh=154&tbnw=109&ei=lKc7TfaiKIWWvAOD04WNCg&prev=/images%3Fq%3DAndrea%2BDworkin%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1680%26bih%3D895%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C316&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=588&vpy=350&dur=410&hovh=231&hovw=153&tx=103&ty=145&oei=lKc7TfaiKIWWvAOD04WNCg&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=47&ved=1t:429,r:40,s:0&biw=1680&bih=895

  41. >Dude, Nick, use tiny url next time.

  42. >Still no arguments to make, huh? @Elizabeth LOL!! More comedy, the family jewels and now this huge URL… he's whipping things out all over the place. So let's see we've got a couple doodz making no arguments just telling me I'm this and that, and I can't do this and that (no examples no evidence), and some pic of how emotional one of the doodz gets. Whatever people.

  43. >Everytime I see anti-feminist like you make post, I get this image in my head.

  44. >@xtra:I would say by continuing to work on framing sex as a morally neutral thing that some people do some of the time in whichever (consensual) way pleases them most.Men are going to have to do the work to address what masculinity means in our culture. Right now there seems to be a disconnect between what men are told is the correct way to be a man and what how men who seem successful and happy actually build their lives and make choices. That is exactly the same kind of cultural/personal disconnect which sparked 2nd Wave feminism, so it's possible answers will come out of the Men's Rights Movement. I think it's interesting to watch, at least.

  45. >David,Don't you know that everyone here supporting you is really just you and a handful of radical feminists?I even got a mention at niceguys for being you. As my grammer and spelling skills are not the best (even having gone to one of the highest rated prep schools in Canada) I consider that an honour.

  46. >"Feminists spend very little time talking about "men" in a general sense, on the other hand these anti-feminist sites are dedicated to moaning about women on the whole."—booboobnationYou are quite the kidder. This site is one of numerous sites where it is rife with misandry, and if you are a man that doesn't agree with the party line, you are more than suspect, you're a target for one thing after another. Ridicule men, demonize men, dismiss men's opinions, look down the feminist lens at men as lesser beings, complaining about them . . .The irony of the foppish court jesters here is almost suffocating. They try to dance around the topic as if it wasn't prominent and continue to step it on virtually every time. Bravo.

  47. >"Why do I keep thinking about The 40-Year-Old Virgin . . . "—BeeStop now. Your credibility was shot to Hades with that alone.

  48. >Had to read this post. Mousetrap poison! Cool! Thank you all for my laugh of the day. For once most of the comments were fun to read🙂

  49. >*blink blink blink*maybe he hooked up with someone who took the old Lysol douche ads too much to heart…

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