Off-topic Saturday: Meet the Searchers (again)
Not THESE searchers.
I don’t know if anyone else is as interested in this as I am, but I am perpetually fascinated by the weird search terms that have led people to this site. Currently trending: cats and sperm — sometimes at the same time — as you can see from these recent search terms:
men dressed as sexy cats pics
i want to hug your sperm
cat women with spermy faces
But not everyone coming here is interested in cats, people who dress as cats, or sperm (with or without cats involved). Here are some other topics that tickle their fancies:
snow white doing blow
rapist unicorns
do women like it if guys get boners
And perhaps my favorite:
ascii boner
Note to readers: I am not interested in seeing your boner, in ascii or in any other format.
Posted on May 14, 2011, in kitties, off topic, precious bodily fluids. Bookmark the permalink. 54 Comments.
I like how you let slide the objectifying language from wymyn about “sexy men”. They’re allowed to do it but not men, fuck that.
Um. He is making fun of the search terms, just like he makes fun of you weirdos. How is that letting it slide?
How do you know it’s not men who are looking for “sexy men?”
You know, MRAO, who does indeed seem to be MRAL with an O, people are allowed to type whatever they want into search engines. I don’t really have any control over that. I have classified ALL of the terms I quoted as “weird,” and made no distinction between cat men and cat women. Well, I suppose the cat women in this case have more of an issue cleaning up afterwards.
Personally I like being objectified and I like objectifying men. Mmmm, sexy cat men
I suppose that could be filed under “reasons I don’t call myself a feminist”.
p.s. - Despite liking cat men, I swear, I am not the one who performed that search
Futrelle, you are a snivelling mangina who simply will never see our misandrist society for what it is. I wash my hands of the situation.
You know, I don’t really mean to mock anyone’s sexuality, even if it does involve cat people or ascii boners. (The movie Cat People, kind of hot.) It’s just weird that people searching for all that end up here. Hopefully they are not too disappointed.
Futrelle, if you wish to avoid shaming language you would do well not to touch the fymynyst movement with a 40000000-foot pole. They’re the biggest shamers literally in the history of the world.
I’m never disappointed when I search for ascii boners.
And I’d like to take this opportunity to congratulate MRAO* on his long-overdue promotion. Looks like that military career is really taking off.
*Veiled Cat Reference?
@Johnny Pez LOLZ X100
I once saw Cat People. A friend and I were in the rental store and saw it. We got it on a whim, not sure what it was about.
It was … kind of ridiculous cheese.
Anyway, search terms are hilarious. I haven’t checked mine in ages. I should …
MRAO:::Futrelle, you are a snivelling mangina who simply will never see our misandrist society for what it is. I wash my hands of the situation.:::
LOL. Can we hope that the level of discourse will improve around here?
David, don’t you realize what this means? You have the perfect opportunity to reach a broad audience with your blog; all you need is the perfect ad campaign.
Are you ready?
ASCII cat women doing blow and hugging sperm.
Just think it over. I can have some people on it by Monday.
Say, instead of plain old hookers and blow, we can have cat hookers and ascii blow.
Or ascii hookers and cat blow.
What the hell is “fymynyst?” It sounds like something Steve Martin would say.
Men will not take it quietly (omegas). We simply won’t. I am SICK and TIRED of being spat on by elitist alpha women and kicked around by alphassholes. We will take control and create a better world, mark my words.
Speedlines: I think it’s an attempt to be clever, and play with the same sorts of ides those who use, “womyn” and, “grrl” are attacking.
MRALO, now with more hate, less introspection.
MRA pawn
I still have a ton of compassion for you and wish you the best no matter what walls you throw up. I really hope you’ll be o.k.
Kave, that’s just plain mean.
@Pez- Isn’t that what catnip is? Cat Blow?
I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I did a search for that 3rd search term I mentioned, the one about cat women, and, well, rule 34 applies.
At this point I’m hoping MRAL is a put-on, but “They’re the biggest shamers literally in the history of the world” would still be an excellent T-shirt.
“Personally I like being objectified and I like objectifying men. Mmmm, sexy cat men
I suppose that could be filed under “reasons I don’t call myself a feminist”.”
Feminists objectify people. Everyone objectifies people. It’s natural. What isn’t natural is grouping everyone together because of their looks as alphas and omegas and not considering them as a person. As well as assuming everyone is attracted to some bullshit beauty standard and real people aren’t good enough.
I will proudly call myself feminist and appreciate hot guys. If someone wants to claim the ‘feminist’ label as being some anti-hot-guy parade then I’ll be the first to call bullshit.
Also, what is supposed to be wrong with searching for sexy women, MRAL?
To appreciate someone’s looks, to find them attractive, to feel sexual attraction and desire is not the same as sexual objectification.
Or perhaps I was thinking of Cat Ballou.
MRAO: If you are not going to take it quietly, why not fuck off somewhere and go do something about it, rather than give me a headache?
In terms you can understand - fuck off, omega. The grown ups are talking.
Your better world sounds like such a wonderful place. I wonder if anyone actually wants to join you in it?
I am 99% sure that MRAO is a meta-troll who is mocking MRAL.
You don’t have to go searching the internet for cat woman porn. Fritz Leiber covered that back in 1964 in The Wanderer.
Though this may sound melodramatic, I have determined that by posting on Manboobz I am taking the fight to the heart of the enemy. The fymynyst blygosphyre is perhaps the most EXPLICIT manifestation of misandry in society, a pulsing black heart of sorts that partially feeds the more UNCONSCIOUS misandry in everyday society. Certainly no the only slimy black root, but it’s one. My time here, I have decided, is well spent.
Are we talking about the original Cat People or the Malcolm McDowell remake? The latter was too incesty and David Bowie-y for my taste.
I am 99% sure that MRAO is a meta-troll who is mocking MRAL.
Short of an IP check, there’s no way to tell, honestly. Poe’s Law applies to everything on the internet these days.
Is it bad that I actually know what the ascii penis thing is referring to?
It’s a Roissy/Citizen Renegade thing, where he suggested that men ought to text an ascii penis to their partners when they “shit-test” them (i.e. gives him a hard time to see how he will react). This leaves one with many questions: for instance, why would you date a woman who randomly gives you a hard time to see how you’ll react, and why wouldn’t any woman immediately dump a man who sent her an ascii penis, unless she had a fetish for middle-school boys?
Note to readers: I am not interested in seeing your boner, in ascii or in any other format.
http://superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=32&Itemid=50&limitstart=2
heh heh. boner.
ozymandias: The thing, of course, is that, “shit testing” is self-perceived. If a woman asks you to stop by the store and grab tampons… that could be a shit test.
The intent isn’t provable, just inferred.
I am 99% sure that MRAO is a meta-troll who is mocking MRAL.
Short of an IP check, there’s no way to tell, honestly. Poe’s Law applies to everything on the internet these days.
Occam’s Razor says same person, different email.
Why is picking up tampons a shit test? I find it an affront to think that the mere act of picking up tampons could ever erode the towering phallic edifice that is my masculinity…
How lame must you be to think that picking up tampons from the store is some sort of bizzare way to abuse men?
I am not interested in seeing your boner, in ascii or in any other format.
Plus, penises are better encoded not in ASCII but in EBCDIC…k.
Yeah! You feminists had better back off or you’ll be sorry! We omegas are sick to death of you taking our red staplers! You better give them back, or we’ll set the building on fire! Futrelle!!!111!!!
Your typical MRA’s ASCII boner:
8=D
That’s right, I went there. I am implying that MRAs have small dicks. Oh snap!
But it’s okay, because they have the gigantic egos to compensate.
I feel like the proper place to find more information about i want to hug your sperm is engrish.com. Google dropped the ball on that one.
To the person wanting to know do women like it if guys get boners:
Depends on the woman, depends on the guy, depends on the moment. In general, this woman finds it to be a normal, healthy reaction for cis-men and some transwomen, and “likes” it about as much as she “likes” it if guys urinate. Which is to say: Congratulations! You’re alive and functioning! For more of a specific, individualized response, you may want to try asking the lady in question. If that line of questioning feels inappropriate (she’s your grandma, you’re in a company meeting, etc.), perhaps you’re better off not knowing her reaction to your erection.
I don’t even want to think about rapist unicorns, though I’m sure the False Rape Society is working up a lather about these wrongly accused beasts, and perhaps writing an indignant blog post about their accusers. Oh, the humanity!
Pecunium: Clearly women never have wishes or desires contrary to men’s; they’re just trying to fuck with you.
Avi: I dunno. A lot of guys, especially teenager/early twenties guys, have a hatred and fear of tampons that approaches a phobia. This can occasionally be taken advantage of, as in loudly talking about tampons when you and a female friend are tired of the guys talking about Call of Duty.
Bee: I approve of male erections, particularly if they are caused by me onto a guy I like, but also in general because more sexual pleasure is a good thing. Just don’t be a douche about it, guys.
ITYM “Oh, the unicornity!”
I, for one, welcome our Men’s Rights Activist Overlords.
Wait a minute…no I don’t.
Someone smarter than I am needs to make a version of this with MRA-themed lyrics.
It already has greek letters and overlords. Our work is half done!!
ozy: I had a custodial summer job at my high school, and the guys on that job were absolutely repulsed by the little feminine-item trash bags. Cleaning out urinals, gum off the bottoms of chairs, locker room nast-all fine. But girl products they wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole.
But haven’t you heard? Touching anything remotely related to a woman’s menstrual cycle is the leading cause of Shriveled Dick Syndrome!
I have wondered what caused that… SDS. Now I know. Thanks, Amnesia.
Could we send a box or two to The Spearhead? Probably not really necessary, though, now that I think about it.
do women like it if guys get boners:
further complicating the question.
ooops, sorry, messed up the html. Here it is in raw link.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UHh07xGsKoo/Tbrn71-zF4I/AAAAAAAACfk/dyTl8RT0kt8/s1600/340x_boner_copy.jpg
Magical Unicorn Mayonnaise!