A PUA, living the dream. And by “living the dream” I mean “being a dick.”

Cheating is jerky. But this picture is still hilarious.

Here’s the bravely anonymous alpha blogger behind “Danger & Play ~ An online magazine for alpha males” explaining “Why You Should Cheat on Your Girlfriend.” I’ve bolded my favorite bit:

Haters will tell you to, “Man up! Break up with your girlfriend if you’re not happy.” They are missing the point. You want to have your cake, and to eat it too. Steady, reliable pussy and the occasional strange is the best of all worlds.

Cheating is a lot of fun, and it’s something I highly recommend. It’s way more exhilarating than bungee jumping, and few things feel as good as banging your girlfriend on the same day you banged some strange.

Cheating keeps your game tight. The best way to regulate your girlfriend is knowing you can bang chicks as hot or hotter than your girl. Well, when you cheat, this isn’t hypothetical. It’s reality.

Somehow I’m guessing there’s a lot more “hypothetical” than “reality” going on in this guy’s posts.

You don’t want an exclusive relationship? Fine. There’s no law saying you have to be in one. You can date casually and non-exclusively. You can have an open or polyamorous relationship. There are a lot of people out there in relationships, yet happily fucking other people outside of them. They’re just above board with it.

But that’s not what’s going on with our PUA friend here. With his talk about “regulat[ing]” girlfriends, he seems more interested in fucking over his girlfriend (assuming such a creature really exists) than he is in fucking strangers (sorry, “stranges”).

That’s not “Game.” That’s just being a dick.

But, hey, Nietzsche! He’s BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL! Or, as he puts it in a comment, “Shame and guilt are beta.”

You know, if you have to go around telling everyone what an Nietzschean ubermensch you are, you’re probably aren’t much of a Nietzschean ubermensch.

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon, Time.com, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on October 17, 2011, in alpha males, beta males, douchebaggery, men who should not ever be with women ever, PUA. Bookmark the permalink. 961 Comments.

  1. Three million increasingly creepy posts in, the thing about the thread that bugs me the most is Brandon’s inability to spell “yeah.”

    I’m glad I’m not the only one.

  2. “You read a story, deny it 100%. Incinerate all the women on no information from an article you read about man’s word and let God deal with the guilty. NWO/MRA jurisprudence”


  3. It occurs to me that Brandon’s morality in re filming someone is the same morality of the cheater who has casual flings. After all, their partner doesn’t know, so it doesn’t hurt them, so it’s not wrong.

  4. For cutting winter squash (i.e. the hard sort), one needs a cleaver. The really large ones (like pumpkins) want a cimiter, but a cleaver will work. A chef isn’t really stout enough, and a mistake can (more often than one thinks) lead to the knife being damaged/breaking.

  5. Brandon:@Nobinayamu: So wrong you are. But just for shits and giggles. I offer you a challenge. Give me some tangible way to protect oneself (or anyone else) from a false rape accusation…and I won’t even give taping another thought. Not love, or trust…but something I can physically hand to my lawyer that would help prove my innocence if I was ever wrongfully accused.

    Only sleep with people in public venues, where there are witnesses, or only sleep with women who ask you 1: to sleep with them, 2: to let them film it, and 3: give you a copy.

    After that, the best way is to ask them to let you film it, and then film it.

    Because the best defense against rape is (wait for it…) enthusiastic consent.

  6. One wonders how someone like Brandon would feel if word got around that he’d been surreptitiously taping his encounters. Say Ashley starts to, “emasculate him” and he, “kicks her to the curb” and she has, without telling him, found his stash of, “defense material”, and gets word out in his community.

    So all the places he hangs out the women have been told that he (and I’m sure, since he’s doing this as “defense” that his face is prominent, so that the police could see it was him) is making secret tapes.

    I’ll bet the “replacements” aren’t so eager then.

    But of course, Brandon is flawless with his InfoSec, the same way he’s upfront with the women he sleeps with, and if what he wants isn’t what she wants, no problem; just move on to the next one because he’s got natural, “game” and the women just flock to his bed when he’s on the make.

  7. Three million increasingly creepy posts in, the thing about the thread that bugs me the most is Brandon’s inability to spell “yeah.”

    Me three!

    I think that everytime he posts “Ya…” I see an apathetic dude with poor personal hygiene who slouches a lot and chews his gum with his mouth open (and his food).


  8. I don’t know, Pecunium. I mean, we’ve all been saying the same thing over and over again. Somehow, when processed through the muddled sieve that is Brandon’s mind, this:

    “False rape accusations are very rare. But if you feel that you must protect yourself and want to have some sort of recording of part, or the entirety, of your sexual and/or casual sexual encounters please do so with the consent of your partner. Fully informed consent, not just to sex but to the recording. Open and honest. Not only is this the only way to ensure that such a recording would in fact be admissible as evidence in just about any jurisdiction but you’d avoid being the kind of scumbag who violates a partner and breaks the law. Also, you know, if you got caught doing that, you’d be charged with a crime, likely convicted, very possibly serve time, and end up on the sex offender registry. Which all sort of belies the point of trying to avoid a false rape accusation because it could ruin your life.”

    translates into this:

    “Brandon, you shouldn’t have any sex outside of a committed relationship at all! Ever! Who do you think you are wanting to get laid and have sex with women who aren’t your super-duper dedicated girlfriend? Brandon, you need to be more conventional and that means that you shouldn’t enjoy a sex life! And if a woman presses false rape charges against you, well that’s just what you deserve for wanting to have sex with women in the first place. So there!”

    It’s really weird.

  9. Damn you people and your recipes. They all sound so good, but I’ve stopped eating meat.

  10. What kind of meat-free recipe would you like? I make tons of vegan and lacto-ovo vegetarian dishes. I’m an omnivore but I don’t think it’s necessary to eat meat at every meal or even most.

  11. Nobinayamu: If we just remember that, “It’s all about Brandon” then it all makes sense.

    If we are saying there is nothing one can do to make it impossible for some woman to accuse him, then we are saying we think it ought to be allowed to falsely accuse him.

    If it can be allowed, then the only way to be completely safe (because it’s All About Brandon) is to not fuck.

    So the only way we said was proof against a false accusation (because she might, “change her mind”) is to not fuck.

    Never mind that abstinence won’t save you from a truly false accusation.

    But the idea that enthusiastic consent, from start to finish (which has so far, for going on 30 years, been sufficient to keep anyone from accusing me of rape) will do the trick….

    The thing I don’t understand, in all this furor of “false rape” fear is what they mean? Why would someone want to make a false accusation of rape? What I think they mean by, “false” is, “I didn’t put a gun to her head, so it can’t have been rape, but the bitch says it was.”

    It’s not that they are afraid of false rape, but that what they think is “just good old-fashioned sex” is actually rape.

  12. Lauralot: Filling for ravioli/tortolinni/gyoza

    Duxelles: Take a large quantity of onions, chop them small. Put them in a pan with some oil/butter and cook them soft, caramelise them if it suits you.

    While these are cooking, take some mushrooms (of a good volume, as much as the raw onions is not too much, stem them, and cut them fine, both stems and caps. Add them to the onions. Cook them over a low fire until all is something of a fine paste.

    Set aside.

    This is a good thing to have in general.

    Some winter squash (kabocha/butternut/acorn/delicata), cut it into pieces and bake it.

    When baked, peel and mix with some ginger, and some lemon/white wine vinegar. Blend with a roughly equal quantity of duxelles.

    Use to fill ravioli/tortellini/gyoza.

  13. There’s a love song in there somewhere. Meatloaf, maybe?

  14. The really large ones (like pumpkins) want a cimiter, but a cleaver will work.

    You use a scimitar to cut your squash? That’s pretty hard-core!

  15. Damnit! I didn’t need another website full of shiney goodness!

    My poor, poor abused paycheck. 😦

  16. In terms of the knife issue, I am eyeing up more substantial ones just because I eat kabocha so often. I can cut them up with a 5 inch utility knife if I really need to (former gymnast – I have REALLY strong wrists), but it’s not ideal and it’s not good for the knife, so I’m eyeing up this one, since I really don’t like classic cleavers. Always feel like I’m about to lost a finger when I use them.


    Related to that, @ Lauralot

    Braised kabocha

    Cut up kabocha in large chunks – remove seeds, but not rind
    chopped onion
    sliced garlic
    rice wine
    soy sauce
    chicken stock
    shiso, finely diced (if you can’t get this, no worries)
    rice vinegar
    thai chillies OR chilli paste OR another source of spicy heat that you have on hand, to taste
    your preferred cooking oil (I usually use olive oil with a bit of

    Fry onions in a bit of oil until clear. Add chillies and cook for a couple of minutes, then add garlic and cook until fragrant. Add kabocha chunks and fry for a few minutes. Add all the liquid ingredients and simmer until kabocha is done. You can stick a fork in it to check.*

    * Some people like it softer than others, so if you haven’t cooked it before maybe remove a chunk to taste when you think it might be done. Also note that quantities are very vague – this is a really simple flexible recipe, so it depends how saucey you want it – it’s almost impossible to screw up.

  17. Cassandra: Talk to me if you want to about knives. I’ve been cooking for about 30 years (real cooking, as opposed to heating a can of soup), and maintaining my knives for almost that long. For the past couple of years I’ve taught knife skills to people who are learning to cook.

    If I understand where you live, more or less, I can recommend some places to go to try out knives, and try to answer any specific question you have. If you are going to be in NYC, let me know, and I can show you my knives (personal, or at my day job).

    I suspect any nakiri you find is going to be a bit light for squash. The nakiri is the home version of the usuba, and is (as is common with Japanese home, as opposed to restaurant, equipment)thin bladed. It’s also very flat in the belly, which requires a completely different style of use to what most western cooks are used to; even when trained.

  18. Oooh, cooks! Does anyone know how to make mashed beets? Someone made them for me once, and they were fantastic. I feel like the recipe was more intense than “boil beets, then mash”, but I can’t find anything that looks right.

    Russian cuisine has a lot of beet dishes. Mashing doesn’t really work with beets, though, since they retain a fairly firm texture even when fully cooked. (Unless, of course, you cook them until they are falling apart, but at that point, the color will drain too.) The closest thing to what you are describing that I can think of is “beet salad”, which is actually more like a tapenade kind of thing that goes well with toasted bread. We peel and shred boiled beets (use a fine shredder), season, add pressed garlic, and dress with mayonnaise. People in the north of Russia also add a small amount of crushed walnuts. This is my favorite version, even though I am generally not crazy about dishes with nuts in them. In the south of Russia and Ukraine, the tendency is to skip the walnuts and add mashed prunes instead, but that makes the dish too sweet, in my opinion. If you go northwest towards the Baltics, where food is milder-tasting, I would not be surprised if sour cream is used as the dressing instead of mayonnaise.

  19. That sounds really good, too, Amused. The guy must have done the potato/beet mix that was mentioned, because they were definitely along the mashed potatoes line. Glad I asked, though, because now I have many beet recipes to try!

  20. @ Pecunium – My current everyday knife is a santoku. I haven’t actually used a Western chef’s knife for years. Is the nakiri going to have a steep learning curve to use? I ask because I have a friend who works at the store and can get a really good deal on it.

    For some reason I don’t care for most chef’s knives. Something about the way they sit in my hand or the balance – I like the feel of the santoku much better.

  21. Beets make pretty tasty fries as well. Though the sweetness can make me feel a bit sick if I eat too many of them.

  22. Dracula: I love beet fries too! Especially if they are very thin.

  23. I quite like sweet potato fries, which were a thing here for a while.

  24. I never made it out to the farmer’s market this year, and they closed down last week. Been kind of kicking myself for that, but I’ve been… distracted. By problems.

  25. Sweet potato fries are way too much sweet for me.

  26. The sweetness of beets is also wonderful when cut by the acidity of tomatoes. That’s what makes borsch taste so amazing.

  27. CassandraSays: Did you buy your santoku in Japan? Because what is commonly referred to as “santoku” in the US/Canada/Britain is really more a french style chef with the point clipped off. The way to tell is to put the edge on the cutting board, and see if it “rocks” A japanese style santoku won’t. If you look at it there will be very little edge which isn’t in contact with the board.

    The nakiri has been more recently introduced to the Western market, and some of them have a bit of belly, but most are fairly flat across the edge. The thing to do is slice, not chop. The lack of belly means that doing a rocking motion has a hard stop at the back, which is jarring (it prevents any “elastic rebound” from energy in your arms). So it has to be lifted between cuts, which means it works best with a motion that pushes down and away, keeping the blade at right angles to the board.

  28. Nope, my santoku doesn’t rock at all. I think it may be the rocking motion I don’t like about a chef’s knife, actually. I think the non-rocking motion just feels more natural to me.

    Size of handle and weight are also issues to me. My favorite knife is a Shun, very light with a small handle, and I also tend to prefer handles that are rounded rather than ones with hard edges. I do have a Wusthof, though, and that’s OK, but the blade is only 5 inches.

    I know I probably should just learn to use a cleaver at some point. I think I’ve been traumatised by too many Hong Kong movies in which they’re used for unpleasant purposes.

  29. Those aren’t cleavers, those are chef’s knives. The Shun are decent knives, but brittle. Do you know which line of Shun you have?

    Any knife, BTW, can be tuned up. I’ve tweaked a lot of my knives.

  30. Yeah, I know. What I mean is that at some point I probably should learn how to use an actual cleaver, but tbh they kind of scare me.

    What do you think of the ceramic knives, btw? How do you keep those sharp? Again, I have a friend trying to convince me they’re the greatest thing ever.

    I’m not sure which Shun I have, actually. It has the almost-black handle – it’s not the kind with the funky looking blade and the brown handle.

  31. There are lot’s of Shun. I have to grab a plane, so I’ll be offline a bit.

    Ceramic are (IMO), so-so. They are light, wicked sharp, and delicate. They demand very good technique, and sharpening them is finicky, and expensive. It’s cheaper to replace them than to buy the needed gear; specifically for them. If you have it already, and are willing to be patient, it can be done, but it’s tedious, time-consuming and probably not worth the effort.

    But they stay sharp a long time.

  32. I have an idea in my head for cupcakes recently: Honey cupcakes with Peanut Butter Frosting…is that a good idea, or not, because I thinking of making cupcakes this week or some other time.

    I did Elvis cupcakes a couple of years ago. Banana cupcake, peanut butter buttercream icing, and optional homemade bacon bits warmed with honey on top. I didn’t try fake bacon but that might be good, too; the goodness is in the spicy saltiness so meat is probably not necessary.

  33. “Redlocker, that cupcake combo is a good one, Peanut Butter and honey is really a nice combo. Also, if you sprinkle the cupcakes with mead, it can be even nicer.”

    Thank you SO much. Oh, and thanks to Bee and others for the comments, too.

    Now I just have to get started on the damn thing.

  34. “…we have evolved and men generally haven’t – yet.

    Yeah, I’m gonna have to go ahead and take offense at that.

  35. “…we have evolved and men generally haven’t – yet.

    Yeah, I’m gonna have to go ahead and take offense at that.

    Well, that’s because it’s really offensive.

  36. Hell yeah it is.

  37. Men haven’t evolved but women have? Weird; I thought we were the same species and shared the vast majority of our genes and reproduced sexually with each other and faced most of the same evolutionary pressures.

  38. Redlocker-

    Peanut Butter frosting that comes out really well

    1/2 cup butter
    1 cup creamy peanut butter (use the natural kind, the flavor is better)
    4 cups confectioners’ sugar
    1/3 cup cream


    In a large bowl, beat butter and peanut butter until light and fluffy. Slowly beat in 1/2 of the confectioner’s sugar. Mix in 1/4 cup of the cream. Beat in the remaining confectioners’ sugar. If necessary, add a little more cream or milk until the frosting reaches a good spreading consistency. Makes enough to frost one 2 layer 9 inch cake or one 9×13 inch cake.

    Please note that this is very good on chocolate cake
    (or fingers)

  39. noyfb, did you think we’d all agree with you or something? You are the flip side of the angry MRA coin.

  40. noyfbfigurethatacronymout, wow, you are totally not an MRA who is trolling.

  41. Quick poll!

    noyfbfigurethatacronymout – Trolling or just really stupid?

  42. I choose both, actually.

  43. Or possibly trolling and too stupid to figure out how to troll effectively.

  44. Trolling mainly, but I’m not gonna rule out stupid.

  45. Trolling or just really stupid?

    Six of one, half-dozen of the other.

  46. CassandraSays- As we say around here, embrace the power of AND.

  47. noyfbfigurethatacronymout: None Of Your Feminist Bullshit?😛

  48. I go with and.

    I’ll be in and out; I’m at a convention in Columbus, Ohio.

  49. Wait, is this MRAL’s new sockpuppet? David, have you checked the IP?

  50. Doesn’t seem like his style, really. Too long-winded.

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