Homeless girls: A frugal alternative to pricey prostitutes!

Fellas! Want sex, but don’t have the money to shell out on prostitutes? Hate the time and effort it takes to talk a non-professional sex-having women into having sex with you? A recent post by Advocatus Diaboli on the always delightful In Mala Fide offered an elegant solution for horny but frugal men. In a post titled Pooning on a Tight Budget, AD explained the technique that has worked for him:

Getting poor, but good-looking, young girls (18-23) to have sex with [you] in return for some timely financial help.

Turns out that women who are poor and desperate can be exploited for your own sexy purposes!

Of course, it’s not always quite as easy as it might seem.

I should be upfront that getting amateur women to have sex for money can be tricky as most of them believe that they are not whores. Moreover, poor young women often have “boyfriends” and white knight orbiters. So I created a set of filters and rules to screen out the most problematic types.

According to AD, all you have to do is to:

Avoid all girls who have obvious and serious drug and mental health issues or have lived on the street for over 6 weeks at a stretch.

Happily for you, that still leaves lots of girls ripe for the picking! AD suggests you focus your attention on:

Freshly homeless young girls, especially those who hangout in mixed groups.

The safest ones are those who are into pot, drumming, dreadlocks et cetera. You can find them in many larger cities in the spring and summer. While I would never trust them with any significant amount of money, many are reasonably decent human beings.

You might not think you’d have much in common to talk about with these women – what with them being “reasonably decent human beings” and you being a “completely reprehensible pile of shit” – but you’d be surprised.

Strike up a conversation with them, engage them and see where it leads. But you must make it plainly obvious that you are interested in them sexually, but that all favors require reciprocation. Once you get to know them, a decent round of drinks, snacks, money for pot, a small necessary item of clothing, decent dinner with booze will almost guarantee you a good lay (or at least a couple of BJs).

And if you crunch the numbers you’ll see it’s really quite a frugal solution.

Your initial financial hit for hanging out with them is very small, and once they are sleeping with you.. it will often work to about $30-60 (cash equivalent or cash) per session. You may also get freebies..

But girls don’t necessarily have to be literally homeless to be desperate enough to sleep with you for money. Nope! You may also find great cost-savings from targeting:

Girls who are not homeless, but are just hanging on.

How do you find these lovely ladies? Keep an eye out for women working really shitty jobs that don’t pay shit! You’ll find them conveniently located

in smaller retail stores or businesses that pay minimum wage with no tips. Build a rapport and be fairly upfront about your interest, but do not come across as desperate. Go to her workplace and talk to her when you are in that area, but do not stalk her.

Yep, it turns out that even desperate women can be creeped out. So play it cool! Stalking’s for fools!

There’s another possible hurdle: other dudes.

Such women often have “boyfriends,” however, they are often just as poor or poorer than her. You can get pussy as long as you are firm about the need for reciprocation. This category of girls might be more willing to give BJs than having ‘real sex.’ But do you really care?

Just remember to keep to your budget!

Restrict your help to less than $200 at any one time AND only after she has put out a couple of times.

And then there’s AD’s favorite category of desperate women:

Girls who are poor, but not homeless and have no “boyfriends” + have moved to the city within the last eight weeks.

You have hit the jackpot! 

Just don’t get carried away. Remember: you’re in charge, and she should know it!

Remember these girls can become de facto GFs, but do not restrict yourself to one. While you do not have to rub it in their faces, they should know that you are always looking around for a better deal. But treat them a bit better than type 1 and 2, they do give more per dollar spent on them.

Your accountant will be so, so proud of you!

Just remember:

They will play by your rules as long as they are not too dehumanizing, and they are often cheaper than professional whores.

Now that’s a motto to live by!

Amazingly, not all of the readers of In Mala Fide appreciated AD’s little treatise.

Simon invoked the c-word, before tossing in some racism:

Mate you are one deadset sad cunt. It’s no surprise to know you’re Indian.

Cathater broke out the other c-word:

Pretty damn creepy. You sound like you have no soul. Actually, you might be the first member of a new species: the perfectly rational, purely selfish utility-maximizing agent (Homo Economicus) that Austrian economists and Randroids have always droned on and on about.

Yes, I was as surprised as you are to read an actually reasonable critique of the post on In Mala Fide.

Don’t worry, though, the rest of the comments mostly lived up to the foul standards of the blog.

Ryu worried about the old slippery slope. If you start by suggesting that PUAs target homeless women, the next thing you know they’ll advocate sex with children! And then down the slippery slope you’ll slide:

This is the direction that PU takes one in. I’m surprised that there haven’t been any PUAs who say that during a dry spell we should go to gay bars and pick up men. Just to keep your dick wet, you know.

Savrola returned to the theme of race:

There’s a problem WNs have yet to deal with. Well off second-generation foreigners like AD taking advantage of your impoverished women of older native stock, after they’ve taken your jobs.

Can’t keep ‘em here, can’t send ‘em back.

What to do?

Blog proprietor Ferdinand Bardamu waded in to take a shot at all the “white knights” sticking up for the gals.

ROFLMAO at all these white knights. …

If you want to blame someone, blame the morally debased white women who would rather blow a stranger for $200 then work honestly (pull yourself up by your bootstraps, slob! nobody owes you anything!).

We’re living in Soviet Amerika (and Soviet Kanada). All of your daughters are whores or will become whores, soon as the price tag gets high enough.

Meanwhile, Stoner With a Boner, who sometimes graces the comments section here with his always trenchant wisdom, took a stand on behalf of the real victims here: dudes paying their own hard-earned money to icky ladies for sex.

Personally, I find the idea of clocking more hours at a job I hate just to hand $200 to a prostitute who would probably leave me dying in the street rather than help degrading.

Men, the forgotten victims once again.

This post contains:

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon, Time.com, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on December 20, 2011, in $MONEY$, crackpottery, creepy, I'm totally being sarcastic, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, oppressed men, PUA, racism, rapey, reactionary bullshit, sex. Bookmark the permalink. 602 Comments.

  1. neuroticbeagle –😀 Have a free tummy rub blessing!

  2. I was picturing this, personally.

  3. Dang it. If I were any good at actual Photoshopping, I’d ‘shop a halo just for the LULZ.

  4. This has nothing to do with anything but it’s another reason “you’ll end up alone with cats” isn’t a threat:


  5. You want me to do a halo for your gravatar, Alice?

  6. kittehs – Sure, go ahead.

  7. Here ya go:

  8. Argenti Aertheri

    Neuroticbeagle — do you have a source for that last one?

  9. kittehs – MEOW! I AM ARCHANGEL CAT!

  10. Argenti Aertheri

    Aw, damn. Oh well, I have a beaver and some otters to add to the cute queue. And a kitty banhammer!

  11. Well, that was weird.

  12. Greetings from 4chan

    there r no homeless where i live. just 10k of ppl live here, is not that much.

    Nuff said.

    returning to the fap cave

  13. I have no idea what you were trying to say, but I agree that it was enough.

  14. Oh look, a random 4chan troll. Run along then.

  15. A cave is like the noisiest place to fap.

  16. there r no homeless where i live.

    trololol. Sure there aren’t, buddy. I totally believe you.

    (Total random aside, my Christmas movie with buddies was Tokyo Godfathers. I realized with horror that I was knee-jerk ENVYING the Japanese homeless for actually being able to put up better shelters than I could get away with in this country. *shakes head*)

  17. I love Tokyo Godfathers.

    (Equally random.)

  18. RE: CassandraSays

    Tokyo Godfathers is pretty much the only Christmas movie I like that I can watch without getting upset, these days. (The other one is Nightmare Before Christmas, but apparently I am a freak of nature, because I like the movie okay, but not enough to ever watch it under my own steam.)

  19. About the only Christmas movie I can recall watching is It’s A Wonderful Life – which got more and more sinister every time I saw it.

  20. Tokyo Godfathers is the only Xmas movie that I actually find uplifting and seasonally appropriate.

    (Well, other than Scrooged, but that’s a whole different approach to the season.)

  21. It’s A Wonderful Life is one of those movies that I’ve absorbed through pop culture osmosis, Kittehs, but haven’t really watched through in ages. It’s a LONG movie, and these days, any sort of holiday movie involving suicide stuff is a hard thing. (Tokyo Godfathers gets away with it because. Uh. The characters pretty much tackle the person attempting suicide and shout at her a while and then give her a baby. And that’s BEFORE the car chase.)

    And yeah, I find Tokyo Godfathers really uplifting and seasonally appropriate myself. Just because… well, it’s really hard to feel Christmasy when you’re homeless and sick and full of problems, and that movie helps remind me I’m not alone and it’s okay.

  22. Part of what I love about Tokyo Godfathers, and why it’s so perfect for Xmas, is that it doesn’t have contempt for any of its characters. Even when people make what are clearly not-so-great decisions the narrative doesn’t encourage us to look down on them or judge them too harshly. It’s a very compassionate movie.

  23. The thing that got me the last couple of times I saw it was how stifled by small-town life and its demands George was. Everything he wanted to do, apart from marrying, was stifled by circumstances. No further education, no getting away, ever … it ended up looking a very dark story to me, whether it was meant to be in that way or not.

  24. I only saw It’s A Wonderful Life once and found it so depressing that I’ve refused to watch it again ever since. It just felt so judgy and oppressive and sort of bleak that it made A Christmas Carol feel like a light-hearted comedy in comparison.

  25. RE: CassandraSays

    It’s a very compassionate movie.

    It really is. Like, of the three main characters, two of them had a bunch of screw-ups leading to their current lives. The closest one to blameless was poor Hana — and even though the other folks mock her, I adore her. Everything’s so rough around her but she’s so kind and generous and awwww.

    Then again, Satoshi Kon also made Paprika, another movie I really, REALLY like. A multi main character! Who’s a hero and not evil or destructive or full of trauma or Jekyll/Hyde! Yaaaay!😀

  26. Enh, I guess I don’t feel that so much with It’s A Wonderful Life (though, again, I haven’t watched it myself for a long time). Just… sometimes you DO have to do shit you don’t like. Sometimes you DO have to kill your dreams to take care of your dependents. Sometimes that does get really oppressive, even though you have people who care about you. *shrug* It sounds pretty true to life for me.

  27. In general Kon’s work always has a strong moral compass. If his narrative is telling you to judge a character, chances are that they really, really deserve it. He judged people for deliberately harming others, not for screwing up.

  28. Yeah, I’ve only seen Paprika, Tokyo Godfathers, and Perfect Blue so far. (And oh god, I SHOULD NOT have watched Perfect Blue in December. ALL THE BAD IDEAS.) I haven’t seen his other stuff; how does it compare, in your opinion?

    (Also, Tokyo Godfathers is the only movie I’ve ever seen that the ending actually made me shout at the screen!)

  29. I actually avoided watching Perfect Blue for a long time as a result of creepy anime fanboy reviews that made it sound like it was going to be some sort of misogynistic hentai thing (they were very happy about the simulated rape scene within a scene and the whole reluctant-girl-does-porn-and-hates-it element – phrases like “erotic masterpiece” were being thrown around), but then after seeing his other stuff figured that there had to be some sort of disconnect because I couldn’t imagine Kon doing a movie like they were describing. Turns out I was right and they really, really didn’t get it.

    If you liked Paprika you might like Millennium Actress too, and I really loved Paranoia Agent (though there are bits of that series that are really dark, so fair warning).

  30. LBT – it wasn’t that it was George’s dependents; this started before he had any. It was like he had to be father to the whole damn town.

  31. RE: CassandraSays

    Turns out I was right and they really, really didn’t get it.

    Lolz, no. I read the movie described as a DECONSTRUCTION of fanservice, which I think is pretty reasonable. And Paprika… well, lemme put it this way. Inception lasted two viewings before I was like, “Hey, wait a minute. This movie gets WORSE each time I view it!” Paprika gets BETTER.

    Hmm. Regarding Paranoia Agent, my general big red D: buttons are rape and queer/trans-bashing. Everything else, I can geeeennnnerally handle on a good day. Are either of those two things in it?

    RE: Kittehs

    Heh. Still sounds pretty familiar and usual to me. But I see what you mean.

  32. In terms of paranoia agent, no trans bashing that I can recall, but definitely some trigger warnings for sexual abuse. I’m trying to avoid spoilers, but put it this way – one subplot involves a father installing a spycam in his teenage daughter’s bedroom to watch her dress/undress. I thought the deconstruction of the creepier elements of the way sexuality is constructed in Japan was extremely well done, but it’s disturbing and it’s meant to be. It’s along the same lines as what he did in Perfect Blue, but it goes to a much darker place.

  33. RE: CassandraSays

    Eek, darker than Perfect Blue? I might have to let it wait until I’m a bit healthier. Millennium Actress is pretty safe (relatively speaking) though?

  34. So, yeah, a lot like Perfect Blue, but way more in-your-face and confrontational, and he forces the audience to see things from the victim’s perspective. That whole series is an exercise in starting with a fairly normal narrative and then twisting it really clever ways to mess with the viewer’s head.

  35. Millennium Actress is totally safe. It’s more in the vein of Tokyo Godfathers – I’d let anyone over about 10 or 12 watch it.

  36. Ooooh, that sounds really good, but yeah, pretty rough on the old gray matter. I’ll see if I can’t find Millennium Actress somewhere though.

  37. It’s awesome, but yeah, weird and disturbing and you’re going to have no idea wtf is going on unless you’re really paying attention.

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