Vamps and Tramps (but no Camille Paglia)

In today’s episode of “upvoted on the Men’s Rights subreddit” we have a fellow calling himself Dude0987, with some interesting thoughts on women — sorry, “females” — and vampires.

Give the link a click. I think you will find the discussion this comment inspired to be very, well, instructive.

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon,, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on January 15, 2012, in crackpottery, creepy, evil women, false accusations, idiocy, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, oppressed men, paranoia, reddit. Bookmark the permalink. 46 Comments.

  1. Although this was pretty awesome:

    [–]knucker3 2 points 4 days ago*

    I assume you are a woman. Let me ask you something.

    If it were legal for men to rape you. Would the phrase “Not all men are like that” make any difference to you? Would it make you less cautious around men? Would that be comforting?


    [–]Rozeline 0 points 4 days ago*

    Well, I know plenty of good men who would never dream of doing that and they’ve far outnumbered the men I’ve known who would. You can’t let a couple of shitty people decide how you feel about the rest of them. Then they’ve taken away your ability to form meaningful relationships and friendships with others. I wouldn’t let those assholes win and force me into solitude like that.

    PS. This is wayyy OT, but I have been lurking pretty much since this blog started–I am wondering where Spearafoc went? I had the biggest online crush on him!

  2. Spear’s alive, but he hasn’t been on Prime in a while… he’s on the chattybox, though.🙂

  3. You can find him here on occasion
    and on Twitter.

    No crush here, but I do think he’s charming and bright and witty.

  4. Haha, the OP’s name in that thread is “TebowTebowTebow.”



  5. …Also, I thought the “woman stabs man, man calls cops, cops arrest man” thing would link to a news story, but it does not. It links to an anonymous account on

    Anyway, I’m starting to like the “if you ever have sex with a woman, she will false-rape-accuse you” meme. It’s giving me a sense of safety and empowerment. If fear of false rape accusations is what holds these guys back from sexually exploiting women, I am all for it.

    (MRAs, feel free to take that last sentence out of context and hyperventilate wildly. I have a paper bag if you need one.)

  6. Did you hear that, females? What are you going to do when the poor men who just want penetrate you without trouble learn to get a motel room? Or, better yet, a female-proof house ala that zombie-proof house:

    It would be naturally be wired with cameras to catch those evil lying women as they make up/plant evidence, the doors would open automatically for the men but *not* for the women, there would be special ultraviolet lighting to expose their hideous ugliness underneath their lying makeup, and a paucity – dare I say a complete *lack* – of feminine hygiene products. I mean, ew, right? Only freakish inhuman things bleed when they aren’t wounded.

    (all /sarc and satire, obviously)

  7. Particularly since one assumes 90-100% of people who propagate that meme are guys who did, in fact, rape a woman and got real-rape-accused.

  8. But what about the men who /like/ being bitten by women?

  9. velveteenhoodrat

    I saw the header for this post and instantly had “Gypsies, tramps and thieves (Cher)” in my head.

  10. Speaking of Tebow, Campus Food just sent me an email entitled “What Would Tebow Order.” I…I can’t even formulate a response to that.

  11. I couldn’t resist making a mad lib from the thing David quoted (and cleaning up the ellipsis barf while I was at it.)

    That’s right, if you have a NOUN you are lower than a/n ANIMAL the U.S. Get used to it guys.
    And stop VERB-ING yourselves. NOUN is irrelevant, it’s her word against NOUN; that’s all that matters. If you let a SUPERNATURAL BEING into your house, don’t get angry if they VERB you, same goes for females. Time to learn to get a PLACE. And there is no NOUN to tell them your real NOUN or where you VERB or VERB.

  12. Remind me again why these guys think sex is better than masturbation?

    Your hand will never “false”-rape-accuse you, you don’t need to hide your real name from your hand, and let’s face it, sex with your hand is more sensual and pleasurable than a furtive grunt in a motel room with someone you don’t know and don’t like.

  13. Clearly, Holly, it’s their god-given right to fuck our shit up, and they need that. How are they supposed to fuck their hands’ shit up?

  14. This pretty much implies that if a man has sex with a woman, he’s asking to be falsely accused of rape.

  15. I may be a genderqueer and not a woman, but I’ve never bitten a man who didn’t explicitly ask for it/consent to it…

  16. Your hand will never “false”-rape-accuse you, you don’t need to hide your real name from your hand, and let’s face it, sex with your hand is more sensual and pleasurable than a furtive grunt in a motel room with someone you don’t know and don’t like.

    Every time I read (or, more often, am told) about one of those squalid and pathetic encounters that PUAs have some bizarre compulsion to write up as though they were worth boasting about, I can’t help but be reminded of John Lydon’s description of sex as “two minutes of squelching noises”.

  17. “two minutes of squelching noises”

    Wow! Two whole minutes???

  18. Yes, I’m sensing a bit of poetic license here.

  19. And yet another case of “the male equivalent of rape is $THINGTHATISNOTRAPE.” *sigh*

  20. So if the male equivalent of a woman being raped is…whatever their pet peeve of the instant is…then what’s the female equivalent of a man being raped?

  21. karalora: Men can’t be raped. I mean, DUH.😦

  22. Once this guy wouldn’t invite me into his house but I went in anyway, and then I stood there kinda shaking, and blood started pouring out of my head until he finally said I could come into his house. Then I bit him, so yeah. Dude0987 knows what he’s talking about.

  23. I’m glad I found this blog.

    Glad and disturbed.:/

  24. @Bee

    Dude0987: “And I was that man!!!”

    Is that why he’s 0987? Is he just another nameless, faceless man sacrificed to your insatiable bite-lust?!

  25. Fear not, MRAs! The smell of garlic on your breath should keep womenpires away if you consume enough of the stuff.

    So if the male equivalent of a woman being raped is…whatever their pet peeve of the instant is…then what’s the female equivalent of a man being raped?

    The male equivalent of rape is the fact that lowquacks has lost his blood donor card again. Luckiily, that doesn’t happen very often. But every time it’s happened, it’s been it the victim’s own house!

  26. Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel

    Ozy, mad props for using a Bourne shell variable reference.

    And two other things:

    1. Go Pats, and

    b. Speaking of Manboobz commenting being kind of a pain on the iPad, can I just say that WordPress’s default iPad theme, as well as a lot of its other “mobile” themes, are hugely broken for blogs that get, like a zillion comments per post? You either can’t see anything but the last page of comments (by which point on MBZ threads barely make sense w/o earlier context), or you have to scroll a bunch. MBZ looks awesome on Flipboard, but clicking on comments brings you to WordPress’s broken iPad theme.

    As for the OP–if you really think someone is out to get you, DON’T HAVE SEX WITH THEM. ANYWHERE. Not in a box, not with a fox, etc. Just go your own way. Please.

  27. Oh right, all it takes is a woman’s word that she was raped to get a man thrown in jail for life.

    That’s why when that woman accused the NYPD officer of raping her, after he admitted to crawling into her bed when she was completely wasted and somehow bruised her cervix, he was promptly charged with rape and given a lengthy sentence. No one doubted her story or accused her of being a money-greedy whore. Nope.

    MRAs live in a fascinating alternate reality.

  28. So, like a vampire, a woman can’t enter your house unless you invite her in? That’s good to know.

    However, if women don’t have reflections, how do they spend all their free time looking in the mirror to apply their makeup? Something doesn’t add up here.

    Also, I’m still here, I’ve just been finding myself getting caught behind on threads here, at Sadly, No!, Twitter, Tumblr and all the other Internet places I frequent. Stuff gets out of control when I’m away, and it’s hard to keep up. I spend most of my free time catching up on what I’ve missed.

  29. Someone please send me to the alternate reality where a woman’s word is enough for a conviction. Please.

  30. AACC: I did a what now?

  31. Nobody gets angry when I bite them. I always ask first.

  32. When someone refers to women as “females”, that’s a warning sign that you’re dealing with a creep. It makes me think of a scientist collecting specimens: “I’ve just recently acquired a female stag beetle.”

  33. “two whole minutes of squelching noises.”

    Sounds about how (many) asexuals feel about sex either way. xD

  34. When someone refers to women as “females”, that’s a warning sign that you’re dealing with a creep. It makes me think of a scientist collecting specimens: “I’ve just recently acquired a female stag beetle.”

    Agreed, Crumb, it’s creepy. But with the slight caveat that Farscape managed to pull it off. However, they only managed to pull off using “male” and “female” instead of “man” and “woman” because this was a sci-fi universe populated by multiple sentient species, and it was generally used by someone of a different species referring “that female [of your particular species]” and wasn’t meant in a dehumanizing manner. In the real world, not the sci-fi world, referring to “females” is generally a big fat warning sign.

    And now I will shut up about a show that’s been cancelled for seven years. Except to say that John Crichton was totally the biggest damsel in distress EVER and frequently needed to be rescued by his badass girlfriend. Plus, it’s kind of pathetic that I can’t think of a more recent show that inverts the usual gender tropes like that. Hollywood fail.

  35. Well, at least they didn’t mention zombies. ;p

  36. Ozy, so the blog is Man Boobz Prime?

    That’s sort of excellent. It makes me feel all science fictiony.

  37. haha I can confirm that in the forum is know as manboobz prime😄

    (I call it that too)

  38. Yeah, the forum and chattybox call the main site Prime.

    Dracula: You are the politest campire I’ve had the pleasure to meet.

  39. Why thank you.🙂

  40. Eh, Holly, I’ve had perfectly good pick-up sex with women I barely knew, but what little I knew of them, I liked. I’ve had perfectly good sex with women who seemed to me to be as outside the mainstream as I am (for reasons of size or disability) but I had more prestigious cultural capital. But I liked them and wanted a good shared experience, big box store or Ivy League be damned. Of course I probably check in for consent and QA more than 99% of PUAs and 50% of humanity.

  41. This is my fault for all the vampire roleplays I used to do with my ex, isn’t it? Someone looked in the window and got confused, and (another) paranoid MRA was born?

    Sorry about that, everyone. I’ll remember to close the curtains from now on.

  42. I’m really convinced they are rapists giving other rapists advice, I mean don’t tell them
    anything that could trace you most likely when she’s just met a strange man?

    And yeah if you can’t trust someone enough not to frame you why would have sex with them unless you were planning something. Or perhaps they just have framing fantasies (oh that was mean)

  43. Spearhafoc: You’re reminding me of this.

  44. Well, yes, if you let VAMPIRE women into your home they’re probably going to bite you.

  45. Every time I see the “people who us female are slightly creepy” comment I’m amused.

    I use the word, not exclusively, but I us it. It’s a habit I picked up in the Army, where we use male/female to make reference to things like who is using what showers when we have to take shifts/deal with different numbers under time pressure.

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