Men’s Rights Redditors Indignant That World Notices They Are Assholes

Run, condom, run! Don't let her catch you!

Oh, boy. So that almost certainly imaginary  “dude punching his spermjacking girlfriend” story in the Men’s Rights subreddit the other day? The one that inspired all those Men’s Rights Redditors to totally defend the (alleged) puncher?

Well, now Jezebel has weighed in on the subject as well. Erin Gloria Ryan raises a few questions about ineedhelpnow1234’s implausible tale, and about the dudes who not only believed it but got all enraged at the imaginary punched girlfriend:

Where does this legend of the sperm swiping madwoman come from? And why won’t it die? Why are men’s rights activists so willing to believe that in a world practically dripping with sperm, women specifically want theirs so they can be pregnant and possibly farty for 9 months, stretch their skin out, and go through childbirth in order to control the men in their lives?

Apparently, at least one Men’s Rights Redditor is a reader of Jezebel, because he went and posted a link, explaining that

I normally try to stay neutral as best I can in matters relating to the men’s rights/feminism debate, but this has me grinding my teeth.

So this is what feminists think about one of our most pressing issues.

Presumably he is referring to the extremely pressing issue of girlfriends who flee the bedroom after sex, clutching used condoms and shouting that “I’m finally going to get the baby I deserve,” and how they totally deserve to be punched in the stomach so hard it leaves a bruise.

The discussion inspired this exchange:

Oh, and this one, too:

YadaYadaYada2 certainly has a flair for the dramatic, doesn’t he?

Men’s Rights Activists, so emotional!

EDITED TO ADD: I sort of started arguing with the regulars in the comments there, and Glarfugus set me straight on the nature of my sins against the Men’s Rights subreddit:

You quoted accurately, the problem lies where you quote perfectly sound posts and talk about them like they’re ridiculous. You address punching a woman in the stomach as though it’s something of high crime. I’m not saying it’s something that’s right, but punching someone in the stomach in a panicked situation where you have a risk of being fucked by the court system for the next 18 years? Reasonable action.

I put my favorite part in bold. The stuff about punching women is pretty special too.

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon,, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on April 5, 2012, in $MONEY$, antifeminism, domestic violence, grandiosity, MRA, oppressed men, reddit, self-promotion, sex, shit that never happened, spermjacking. Bookmark the permalink. 232 Comments.

  1. I have a friend who knows a woman who was having a C-section and her anaesthetic didn’t kick in fast enough so they had to do it while she was still conscious. THAT’S toughness.

  2. Damn, Katz, that made me go semi-fetal upon reading that. Ow ow OW. Yeah, she’s tough.

  3. starterlifesydney

    Antz, are you saying your FOREIGN BRIDE has extra wide, child bearing hips?

  4. Aaaaaand looky;

    Really, i’m still not sure whether to laugh or cry. Frankly after reading everything thats come from this and all the stuff it triggers off – i’m just going to go get drunk

    also, is it just me that is horified that jezebel included the line ‘(Note to self: next time you punch your girlfriend, aim for the stomach!)’ – i’ve heard that from my dad talking to his friends and its something I know abusers use given the amount of damage you can do before marks show in this area – do we really need to be teaching people this!?! I know they’re saying it sarcastically and can only assume that they haven’t been a position where this is something people _do_ but – I really, really wish like hell I hadn’t had to read that and that it wasn’t put out there for people who might use that sort of ‘advice’😦

  5. Kendra:

    It true, of course, that contraception fails sometimes and that’s nobody’s fault. It certainly doesn’t amount to “oopsing” you partner. Short of some super duper lie detector thingie (I don’t mean the usual lie detector test, which is notoriosly unreliable) that doesn’t exist , I don’t know how you would determine the truth. So yes, prosecuting would be very difficult and maybe impossible.

    There’s also the possibility that men will use the arguement to get out of paying child support for any unplanned pregnancy.

  6. @Cassandra

    Well, to give AntZ his due, he doesn’t seem to have any problem with women wanting divorce, as long as they leave the marriage as they came and the legal system acts like the whole marriage never existed for her, including rise in SES of the family and any children and/or pets.

    Which makes him one of the less hateful MRAs, the saddest statement for the movement I’ve seen yet.

  7. True birth experience thingie: I had back labor so bad that I almost screamed and I wasn’t even in full labor at the time (my daughter was slamming her skull right into my spine. So I got the epidural and slept…then it came time to push and the doctors did perenial massage and I only had one or two little abrasions down in the vaginal area.

    My daughter came out after what seemed to be forever (giving birth is basically like having the worst constipation ever and trying to shit out your whole insides- it is totally anal in feeling), and then the nasty placenta, and then I basically dropped huge fucking chunks of what looked like red meat/blood clots the size of my hand for at least a day or two. Of course, you have to wear these giant maxi pads and these weird gauze underwear things. And it hurts like hell to pee, even with small abrasions- I had to use a sitzer bottle to spray on my poor inflamed parts while I peed or it was like burning from hell. OH, and then there’s breastfeeding- where your nipples turn into scabby bleeding painful lumps and your boobs get super engorged to the point where you feel like you’re going to fall over or just squirt all through your shirt. And you totally let down your milk if some other kid (or your own) starts crying in public…which is about as embarrassing as pissing your pants.

    Oh, and if you don’t have insurance, hospital births start out at a whopping $10,000 if you have no complications. My coworker’s bill was over a hundred thousand dollars before her insurance paid it.

    This ignores the fact that during 9 months of pregnancy you feel horribly vulnerable and scared in many ways (often due to hormonal fluctuations, but it’s also a physically debilitating condition, especially as you get bigger and if you have any complications it gets more scary). It’s the kind of situation where you want to have a partner, a supportive person who is there and is on board with your pregnancy. I don’t think I would ever have decided to have children without my husband by my side and completely on the same page. There is just no way I would take the financial, temporal and emotional risk.

    Now, I do not doubt that there are many emotionally damaged women out there who try “oopsie” pregnancies to keep their relationship from falling apart (which pretty much never works), but there are also lots of relationships that are failing (like my husband’s parents, who were fighting pretty much just as soon as they got married), who both decide to have a baby together to “fix” things. And both are unfair to the child that comes of the union, but honestly, I see more people fighting about whose responsibility, and whose punishment and I hear very, very little about the care and love for the child. Which, honestly, disturbs me more than the whole “child support” boogie man. It also doesn’t help that literally every single mother I know (including some who were married but divorced because the guy got into drugs or cheated/left her for someone else) has received little to no child support, even in cases where the support is actually court-ordered. If child support is so easy to just not pay, then why again are these MRA’s so afraid about it?

  8. Ruttee said:

    “Yeah, 300 a month is notable, but it is by no means indentured servitude, much less slavery. Even if you contend you had no say in the matter, it’s still not as bad.

    But AntZ, I have a solution that’s good for kids. And it makes women pay too. Can you dig it? IT’s tax everyone to give money to all active parents. No unfairness, just smack everyone to make sure kids can eat, get clothed decently, etc. we all have a vested interest in kids doing that (I fucking hate kids and I can admit that much)”

    This is a good idea, if men don’t want to pay child support we need an entirely different way of raising kids. I think some kind of levy or tax on all citizens would be a great idea. Everybody pays and everyone benefits from having a healthy, well fed, well educated next generation.

  9. OH AND PS: In every case I know of where the father was active and had joint custody of the children, he didn’t have to pay ANY child support. My best friend had both her parents in her life (they both loved her and her sister, but could not stay married for various reasons) and neither of them paid child support because both were highly active and had partial custody of the kids.

    If a man wants to be completely cut off from his offspring, that is his right, but if he decides to make a bunch of kids, the only option that will allow the average single mother to survive is for either society to pay or for HIM to pay. And honestly, I think that if a man decides that he wants to create a mouth to feed but have nothing to do with it, he ought to be offering something towards keeping that mouth fed so that the mom can be a bit less stressed out about where the next meal is going to come from.

  10. Well, to give AntZ his due, he doesn’t seem to have any problem with women wanting divorce, as long as they leave the marriage as they came and the legal system acts like the whole marriage never existed for her, including rise in SES of the family and any children and/or pets.

    Except that he’s so terrified of this happening that he wants to preemptively leave his wife and replace her with a VR replica so that she can’t do this to him.

  11. there’s an xkcd for every moment…

  12. oops ignore that dud link

  13. I get $170.00 per month for 1 child for 12 years. Only reliable because it is garnished wages. No parental involvement from poor old child support payer. No health care. I did not steal a condom. FYI MRM, cry me a river of tears for your $170.00. You spend more on your car.

  14. Timid Atheist: the sperm stealing wasn’t rape. The bit where he claimed that his girlfriend was trying to blackmail him into having unprotected sexual intercourse with him by threatening to have him arrested if he didn’t – which David Futrelle completely omitted to mention – was the attempted rape.

  15. Wrong thread.

  16. They’re always tryin’ to steal me lucky sperms!

    WIN. Have a vaguely Irish-themed Internet.

  17. NWO: That’s incorrect. Custody = parenthood.

    So my mother stopped being my mother when I moved out?


    Hellkell: I think we can be generous to NWO here, and say that all taxes (income, sales, various fees) probably come to 25 percent for anyone making less than 50,000 a year. It’s not until one becomes a Romney that taxes can drop down to the 15 percent range.

    Which is mostly a factor of regressive taxes (sales, DMV, etc.) and ratios.

  18. katz: My mother had an ovary out under a local. While it was going on the doctor asked if he should take her appendix out, “since I’m in the neighborhood”.

    She said, “sure.”

  19. Privilege is feeling entleitd to always be included, no matter what. I have absolutely no problem with that. In fact, I have heard plenty of similar statements from various feminists, generally along the line of you men think this is all about YOU. Well it’s not all about you. It just isn’t! Get over it! Of course, I find that statement intellectually fallacious: In fact, it IS about men to SOME extent at least although I’m sure it is about other things as well. Point taken. But as for not being included fine! I will remember not to ask to be included not that I need much reminding on that score.But I can assure you that what the counter-feminist center undertakes in terms of future projects will in no way depend upon inclusion within feminist culture or feminist discourse, nor upon mirror-equivalent mimicry of same.So, write me down as one who does not request inclusion.Cheers!

  20. I’m not involved or interested in any MRA at all, and I liked a couple of your other articles, but this is disappointing.
    This blog post is irrational.

    IF it is indeed a fact that men can be screwed over for 18 years, then getting punched in the stomach really does pale in comparison to that. As in, not-even-the-same-order-of-magnitude. I’m sure my feminist friends would agree.
    Think about it: that would be a huge betrayal of trust in an intimate relationship, quite apart from the $1000’s. Then again, if it’s *not* a fact, they have no case.

    It’s the same with false rape allegations. That can literally ruin a person’s life. As far as I know, women who so falsely accuse are not punished, so there’s not a strong disincentive for them not to do so.

    Do I think MRA and that stuff is often misogynistic? Yes. But isn’t this supposed to be one of the biggest sites attacking them? If so, and IF this article is typical-which I doubt it is-then the attack on that stuff is pretty weak. Emotional, not rational.

  21. And no, I don’t think violence is justified even in a huge betrayal of trust.
    That would be immature and pathetic.
    But understandable IF you’re about to lose tens of thousands of dollars over something for which you really have no blame…. Unless we’re going to be like conservatives and say ‘well, if you’re not ready for the consequences (of a huge betrayal of trust), don’t have sex at all! abortions are terrible! blah blah’

  22. Adam, in a world where there are still plenty of men who want sex without protection I don’t think its necessary to run off with someones condom.

    Child support does not pay such huge amounts that women can live a lavish lifestyle, usually you’re lucky if it pays half the basic necessities for the child.

    You’re not an MRA, you have feminist friends but you think that real women are running out with used condoms, that there are so many false rape accusations AND that being so much as questioned by police will completely ruin a mans life? I think you and you’re friends had better start doing some reading on these issues.

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