Paul Elam: Call the Doctor!

Don’t go to THIS doctor, though. He does not seem very dedicated to his work.

Is there anything in the world that Paul Elam can’t blame on feminism? Apparently not.

In his latest post on A Voice for Men, Elam reports on a number of health problems he’s been dealing with – or not dealing with – for years.  You see, despite chronic troubles with his gall bladder and with his breathing – which led to many ER visits over many years – Elam refused to get his gall bladder removed, or to give up smoking. For a while, he confesses, he was alternating puffs of cigarettes with hits from his Albuterol inhaler. But after numerous health scares, he reports, he’s finally dealing with his underlying issues, getting his gall bladder removed and weaning himself off the cigarettes.

I’m not going to mock him for any of this. Lots of people – especially men – have trouble pushing themselves to get the medical help they need. I’m one of them: the last time I went to the dentist it was because one of my teeth had gotten so rotten that a chunk of it broke off. There are a lot of mostly not-very good reasons I procrastinate about getting proper treatment for my health reasons, from simple denial to lack of funds. (Though, as I have sadly learned, waiting to go to the dentist until your teeth start breaking apart in your mouth does not actually save you money in the long run.)

Lots of guys won’t go to doctors because, as guys, they’ve been raised to believe they should grin and bear whatever pain they face. That’s one of the reasons feminists tend to criticize traditional notions of masculinity.

But for Elam, the problem is … feminism:

We live in a misandric culture, and often times, when we are scared enough or motivated by some other powerful force, we find that the root of the hatred is in the mirror staring back at us and mocking.

We men are raised with a sense of shame for having any needs. We are told, in fact, that we already have everything, and largely don’t deserve even the most basic of our needs for dignity, respect and love. If you look around in medical literature long enough, you will even see them shaming us for not going to the doctor more. Feminists have even used our tendency to neglect ourselves as a good reason to go full steam ahead with the unabashedly pro-female Obamacare.

This last charge is based on an almost completely delusional misreading of Obama’s health care legislation by our dear friend Antony Zarat. Elam continues:

And you can watch many men nod their heads in agreement with this crap. Sure, some of it is just the typical effects of feminist ideology on the brains of obsequious men, but there is something else at play here.

Can you guess what’s coming here? Yep, you got it, the motherfucking Titanic.

What made men willing to stand on the decks of sinking ships where their betters were loaded onto lifeboats? What makes men OK with being singled out for selective service? When is the last time you heard an average man point out to a woman who is whining that her great grandmother could not vote, that even today, unless a man signs an agreement with the government to use his body as cannon fodder, that he still won’t be allowed to vote?

Never mind that “women and children first” has never been official policy, nor even widely practiced. Never mind that feminists,while generally opposed to the draft, have lobbied for women as well as men to be subject to the same requirement to register for the draft. Never mind that the draft has been dead for decades. And never mind that exactly none of this is the fault of feminism.

We often have to point out to morons that being anti-feminist is not the same thing as being anti-woman. I think we would do well to remember from time to time that misandry is often not something done to us, but something we do to ourselves.

It is a monster that can live in any one of us, and often does. I have been doing battle with my own for a while. 25 years of consideration, soul searching and bucking the system and I am just now figuring out to go see a doctor when I have a problem.

Elam, dude: Despite your overweening narcissism, I have no trouble believing that on some level you hate yourself. Narcissism is often driven by insecurity, and no one who responds to even mild criticism with the level of rage that you do could be anything other than deeply insecure. But what you feel isn’t “misandry,” and feminists aren’t to blame. All that rage isn’t healthy for you. You should really get it checked out. And I’m not even joking.

Here’s Sleater-Kinney with “Call the Doctor,” though really only the title of the song is appropriate to the situation here.

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon,, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on June 12, 2012, in a voice for men, antifeminism, misandry, misogyny, MRA, oppressed men, patriarchy, paul elam, the fucking titanic. Bookmark the permalink. 158 Comments.

  1. Argenti Aertheri

    ideologuereview — let’s try a reductio ad absurdum on what you just said shall we?

    “given the current resurgence in rectangles”

    “Resurgence? So you’re convinced that rectangles are at a high right now? I mean, squares are at an all-time low and rhomboids are still far more likely to be singled out. In fact, quadrilateral rates in general are down, which would imply the tangible evidence parallelograms are also down.

    Of course, it seems like parallelograms of some sort or another are in a perpetual state of eruption. Which raises the question of how a resurgence of something is even possible.”

    My apologies for saying all parallelograms are quadrilaterals, wait, I mean for saying all hate is crime…and to geometry and other math majors.

  2. Okay, I’m also sorry that I refused to acknowledge that hurtful writing on the Internet is on par with being physically assaulted. In fact, we really should pull all the police officers off the streets and onto computers where they can monitor these little Holocausts and euthanize the perpetrators.

  3. Argenti Aertheri

    Ah, I see someone doesn’t understand geometry…they’re degrees of the same thing, all parallelograms actually are quadrilaterals, and all squares are rectangles (but not the inverse, which should be kind of obvious).

    Also, you just Godwin’ed.

  4. IR… if something is at a lower rate, and it increases to a previously higher rate, that’s a resurgence. Your entire rant was a confused failure to understand that point… coupled to your irrational hatred of feminists.

  5. serpentineminer

    Actually, “Call the Doctor” probably reads as Paul Elam’s worst nightmare. It’ll do him good. Exposure therapy ‘n’ all that.

  6. Viscaria, I’d challenge you to a cage match if I didn’t suspect that that’s what IR/FF wants.

  7. Considering his writings, I think Paul Elam’s problem with the Doctor is much less likely to be caused by feminism than by the fact that he’s a Dalek.

    Exterminate! Exterminate!

  8. Viscaria, I’d challenge you to a cage match if I didn’t suspect that that’s what IR/FF wants.

    In this corner: large animal statue!
    In this corner: a bunch of… flowers… with notoriously sticky stems. And tenacity!

    You sure lucked out on this one😉

  9. Argenti Aertheri

    And what’s the solution to Daleks? River Song.

    Dalek: You will be exterminated!
    River: Not yet. Your systems are still restoring which means your shield density is compromised. One alpha meson burst through your eyestalk would kill you stone dead.
    Dalek: Records indicate you will show mercy. You are an associate of the Doctor’s.
    River: I’m River Song. Check your records again.
    Dalek: Mercy.
    River: Say it again.
    Dalek: Mercy!
    River: One more time.
    Dalek: Mercy!!!

    I scrawled that on a white board on the fridge while drunk, it’s still there almost a year later😄 But maybe his problem is sort of feminism? He’s afraid of a woman and that’s just terrible?

    Viscaria — only if katz’s statue is a weeping angel, otherwise ze can’t move while you can slow grow your way over the statue (if ze is a weeping angel, we’re all screwed)

  10. ShadetheDruid

    At least flowers vs a statue is vaguely viable as a battle scenario, rather than a battle of default avatars (obscure random coloured shape A vs obscure random coloured shape B! Sounds like something that would need an epilepsy warning).

  11. Dalek Elam: You are superior in only one respect.
    Feminists: What is that?
    Dalek Elam: You are better at dying.

    No, wait, Paul Elam isn’t anywhere near cool enough to be associated with anything Dr. Who related.

  12. Argenti Aertheri

    Amnesia — and the MRM are the cybers, not us. They’re the ones who want to convert (upgrade) everyone with the “red pill” and insist they have no emotions interfering with their logic, while we do and thus must purge all emotion (holy shit they really are cybers aren’t they?)

  13. Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III

    The Doctor: You’ve no home planet, no influence, nothing! You’re just a pathetic bunch of tin soldiers skulking around the galaxy in an ancient spaceship!

    CyberLeader: You speak unwisely. We are destined to be rulers of all the Cosmos!

    The Doctor: Oh, I don’t think so somehow.

    Revenge of the Cybermen 1975

    You know, Argenti, I think you may be onto something.

  14. True, true… Equating the MRM with the Daleks is giving them way too much credit, the Cybermen comparison is much better. Then I guess all we need to do to stop the MRM is disable their emotional inhibitors?

  15. Argenti Aertheri

    If so, that’d be 6879760 per The Age of Steel. (Shouldn’t that probably be binary?)

  16. 11010001111101000010000
    There. The MRM has been vanquished. You’re welcome.

  17. People are still trying to discredit the MRM?

    The MRM has only grown over the past 15 years. There’s really nothing you can do to stop it. Really, the best you people can come up with these days is writing about an MRA’s smoking?


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