Men’s Rights Redditor: Rape jokes protect men from false rape accusations

How to get yourself upvoted on the Men’s Rights subreddit: Suggest that people making rape jokes help to protect men from false rape allegations. That at least seems to be the clear implication of this comment from DoctorStorm (hopefully not a real doctor):

How to get yourself downvoted on the Men’s Rights subreddit: Tell DoctorStorm that the reason you shouldn’t tell rape jokes is that some of those in your audience may be rape victims, and that as a decent human being you might just want to be a tiny bit concerned about their feelings:

Douchebaggery towards rape victims: it’s a Men’s Right!

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon,, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on June 17, 2012, in antifeminism, douchebaggery, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, oppressed men, rape jokes, reddit, that's not funny!. Bookmark the permalink. 65 Comments.

  1. It’s true. Rape jokes do protect men from rape accusations.

    …true or false.

  2. Crumbelievable

    So I guess they’d be totally OK with jokes about prison rape then?

  3. The second poster made the classic mistake of using the word “triggering.” Everyone knows that the existence of that word is LANGUAGE CONTROL.

  4. Hey, that’s me! I suppose me being mentioned here will ruin my reputation in the face of all MRA from here on out. I struggle to shed even one drop of liquid sorrow.

  5. It’s true! The more you use rape jokes, the less likely that any rape accusations against you are false.

  6. What the hell is wrong with these people? They are obsessed with “thought control,” they don’t even know what it means judging by the number of times “THOUGHT POLICE” gets thrown around on Reddit with no real idea of what that term means.

  7. ShadetheDruid

    They also don’t get the difference between thought control and just simply getting shit for demeaning others. No matter how many times feminists (or others) say “you can still say whatever the fuck you like, we’re just not going to sit by and let it slide”, they still think we’re trying to throw them in jail for saying “bad words”.

  8. Don’t you all know that “please don’t say that, it hurts me” is the EXACT SAME as making it illegal for that phrase to ever be uttered? Triggers are CENSORSHIP!

  9. Crumbelievable

    I’ve probably posted it before, but in discussions of Reddit (and MRA’s), it’s always relevant

  10. Ninja’d by Crumb on the prison rape jokes. We all know how consistant and fair MRAs are when it comes to what sexism and hate of the opposite sex is acceptable *eyeroll*

  11. OMG, the Onion piece was great. That is exactly them. Thx for sharing.

  12. People want power. People with power want more power. People with lots of power do not want to lose any power, nor will they give any power away.

    Hence the existence of the MRM.


    Another problem with a lot of rape jokes is that so often they are treating rape as something that is just bound to happen and is part of a healthy man’s sex drive. Even worse, sometimes they appear to be contemplating whether something is really bad at all.

    Worst rape “joke” that I have heard repeated: If you rape a prostitute is it rape or shoplifting?

    This “joke” is hinting that maybe raping a powerless prostitute really isn’t a big deal. There are people who actually think that, which makes the joke so scary and disgusting.

  14. People want power. People with power want more power. People with lots of power do not want to lose any power, nor will they give any power away.

    did he seriously say this without irony?

  15. argh, ninja’d!

  16. creativewritingstudent

    Apparently they fail to see the difference between being told “you’re upsetting people” and censorship.

    Either that or they’re that class of people who think “free speech” means “I can say whatever the hell I want whenever I want with no consequences whatsoever”.

    There also seems to be the implication that they don’t think hurting people is something to feel bad about.

  17. There are always going to scumbags making horrible jokes. Remember all the horrible Ryan White jokes in the 80’s? If people can mock an innocent child, they can mock anyone. The internet just brings out everyone’s inner asshole because of the anonymity. MRAs and PUAs act like big shot alphas online. In real life they’re pathetic losers who don’t have even the self confidence to correct a stranger who mispronounces their name. At least one good thing I can say about Bernard Chapin is that he isn’t anonymous. If you’re going to spout stuff online, at least be strong enough to own it in real life, too.

  18. Joking about cutting off men’s balls will prevent loreena bobbit type cases….right MRAs?

  19. Crumbelievable

    There also seems to be the implication that they don’t think hurting people is something to feel bad about.

    Yeah, I enjoy their complaints (which came up in that Reddit thread, but has come up before) that feminism is bad because it`s concerned with how people feel.

  20. you are right ragefromthebasment. I can think of no place in all the Internet where people dislike and call out rape jokes, or even other misogynistic behavior. let alone a whole blog community set up to do such things.

  21. @Quackers

    They’ll stop the epidemc of false castration accusations though!!!!

  22. And of course, no men are ever raped, ever, so why would you want to refrain from telling rape jokes with the guys?

  23. thebewilderness

    They should tell a lot of Bobbiting jokes then because they are deeply concerned about reducing the incidents of castration and circumcision.

  24. MorkaisChosen

    Rather more to the point, there are lots of places on the internet where people don’t get called on stuff.

  25. Well, it’s well known that consequences are misandric.

  26. @Shadow

    Hey!!! That’s a legit issue! Typical feminist…I’m going to start a blog called The False Castration Society…that’ll learn ya!

  27. creativewritingstudent

    “False castration accusations”… would that be related to the Freudian theory that little girls believed their mothers cut their penises and testicles off, causing them to want to marry their fathers?

    I would ask what the hell Freud was on, except we all know it was cocaine.

  28. @Quackers

    And topple our matriarchy, I DON’T THINK SO!! *sends in black choppers*


    I believe it entails women (because let’s face it, men are too honourable for that) falsely claiming that a woman or man has a castrated a cis man, even though everything’s just hanging. Naturally this results in severe traumatisation for the accused, and the befuddled non-castrated man, while the woman cackles evilly and is given a recording contract and an Oscar.

  29. creativewritingstudent


    I think someone who convinced a court that someone else’s (very existing) testicles are not there would deserve an award for audacity and bullshitting – and then arrested for perjury once the reality of the balls has been verified at a later date.

  30. Controlling hate speech is thought-policing? Worst Orwellian interpretation ever. I sincerely hope none of these guys are lawyers. Bleating the First Amendment is a weak defense when they’ve already been red flagged as a hate group.

  31. If a guy thinks it’s fine to joke about rape, chances are good that he’s a sick bastard. JMO.

  32. Crumbelievable

    Why do they want to joke about rape so badly anyway? Is it really that funny?

    Look, none of these scenes contain rape jokes, and they`re hilarious.

  33. So, these clowns have never read the pages upon pages of literature that explain that rape culture hurts men as well and not just in the obvious way that the men that do get raped blame themselves just as much as women do?

  34. It kind of bugs me when people bring up triggering survivors as THE reason people shouldn’t make rape jokes. Maybe it doesn’t trigger flashbacks or cause panic attacks, maybe it just makes survivors feel like shit. Maybe it just signals to them that you can’t be trusted to offer support when they need you. Maybe it signals to rapists that they can expect your support, that what they did wasn’t so bad, that their actions and attitudes are normal.

    I don’t expect that would make much difference to MRAs who’ve more or less made up their minds to just support rapists outright. But for guys who say they don’t, remember the point of a joke is to laugh and have fun. If your joke makes people feel shitty your joke has failed. If your friends enjoy poking fun at survivors of assault, you might want to rethink some of those relationships.

  35. Crumbelievable

    No talk about rape here either!

  36. I read this male rape survivor’s comic a couple of weeks ago, I don’t know if anyone’s posted it here yet:

  37. I just don’t get how trigger warnings are a form of censorship when they’re the frigging opposite: clear labels. Would these people go into the supermarket and pull all the labels off the tins because knowing what you’re eating takes the fun out of it or whatever, and if someone with an allergy ends up in a coma then it’s unfortunate and all but better than LANGUAGE CONTROL

  38. Um, Crumbelievable, that was pretty funny, at least for this Canadian. Do you giggle when you say Regina?

  39. Oh, wait, you weren’t being sarcastic. oops. Thanks for posting that!

  40. Crumbelievable

    It`s nice to know MRAs` priorities

    1) Physically retaliate against abusive women

    2) Laugh at rape victims

    3) End misandry

  41. You have the freedom of speech to make rape jokes.

    I have the freedom of speech to disagree with you and think that you are behaving like a horrible person.

    If enough people agree with me, then it isn’t much of a joke, now is it?

    Therefore, rape jokes? Not funny. Not jokes.

  42. Also, I do not have to respect the beliefs of others.

    I can respect the rights of others to have their own beliefs.

    But there is no law, and no rule that says that I have to ACCEPT someone’s putrid or vile belief just because THEY have it.

    So no, you don’t get the right to make rape jokes and then have me go “cool bro, I respect your belief.”

    I have the same right as you to say things you don’t like. Only I think that in my case, I’m right- rape jokes are in poor taste and they’re not funny.

  43. I agree with that feeling, Nezumi. While Triggers are a huge and obvious reason not to do this kind of horrible ‘joke’, it certainly is not the only one. Myself, I never was the victim of any assault, and yet it really disturb me to hear such, even if only for the terrible ideas it shows the speaker to have.

  44. I think the worst thing about rape jokes actually isn’t the people who are hurt by hearing them, but the people who are encouraged by hearing them. Most guys aren’t rapists, but jokes about “ha ha, she’s gonna get raped” and the like send a message to rapists–what you do is socially acceptable and no big deal, other guys will totally understand why you did it.

  45. I read this male rape survivor’s comic a couple of weeks ago, I don’t know if anyone’s posted it here yet:

    I hadn’t seen that one yet; thanks for sharing it.

  46. End separation of children from fathers by telling bad father jokes.

    Why did the mra get to his visitation early.
    He wanted to have enough time to slap his kids around before going to work at the coal mine.

  47. RE: Anna

    Thanks for that! I hadn’t seen it before, and it’s really hard for me to find the stories of other male rape survivors.

    Also, I tend to dislike the word trigger myself, but I thought it was common human decency that if something you say upsets a lot of people with no real pay-off, it wasn’t worth it.

    So, like, if someone explains to me that something in my belief system is wrong, that might upset me, but the pay-off is that I realize I’m wrong and correct my behavior.

    Rape jokes? What’s the pay-off, really?

  48. Argenti Aertheri

    “What’s the pay-off, really?”

    …bonding over how hilarious rape is. In other words, giving your buddies implicit knowledge you’ll side with them if they rape someone…which is disgusting.

  49. if something you say upsets a lot of people with no real pay-off, it wasn’t worth it.

    I think for these guys, the fact that it upsets people is the payoff. It’s a power trip–with mere words, they can hurt people and make them afraid. But they can’t admit that’s why they do it and still maintain their pretense of nobility, so they try to paint the people they hurt as the villains, e.g. whining about “censorship.”

  50. thebionicmommy

    Rape jokes? What’s the pay-off, really?

    I think some of the people that tell rape jokes believe that if a joke has a big shock value, then it’s a good joke. Instead of being cool and edgy, though, the jokes are just hurtful. It also shows that the person making the joke can’t come up with something that’s actually clever or original.

    Also, I tend to dislike the word trigger myself, but I thought it was common human decency that if something you say upsets a lot of people with no real pay-off, it wasn’t worth it.

    I understand the arguments against the word, but I personally like the word trigger. I think it shows the impact that words have on people. I agree, too, that if a joke is going to upset other people, then it’s not worth it.

    DoctorStorm at reddit/men’s rights also said

    If “triggering” were a genuine issue, then there’d be no war on TV, no drug use, no violence, no murder, no anything. People have traumatic experiences all the time, and while some people are rape, it does not make their experience more traumatic, or more special, than any other traumatic experience. They don’t get special privileges just ’cause.

    “Triggering” is another form of coercive persuasion in this instance. Feminists are attempting to say that “triggering” for rape is more important, thus further supporting the notion that rape is a special crime more deserving of our attention.

    How is it a “special privilege” for someone to say that rape jokes and depictions of rape are triggering? His argument makes no sense. Feminists aren’t making a contest out of what kinds of trauma are worse, either. The only ones I’ve seen doing that are MRA’s that think that any type of trauma that disproportionately affects women is somehow less important than ones that disproportionately affect men.

  51. Argenti Aertheri

    “no war on TV, no drug use, no violence, no murder”

    Those are on during all hours? What happened to watershed/safe harbor? “Examples of adult content include, but are not limited to, graphic violence, horror, strong language, nudity, sexual intercourse or reference, drug use, and/or sexually suggestive themes.”

    Hm, looks like you can fairly easily avoid those already…

  52. A quick look at Google Scholar shows that trigger/triggering is pretty much the accepted parlance for studies about people with PTSD. That doesn’t mean everyone has to like it of course, but somehow I expect the people over on r/mr only have a problem with it when it’s used on the context of rape & women. (I.e. what Kendra says better just above.)

    I’ve seen some places (Shakesville?) use “Content note” as a substitute for “Trigger warning.” I like that a little better myself, but I’m not sure how widely used it is so I tend to stick with trigger.

  53. Argenti Aertheri

    cloudiah — Shakesville uses “Content note”, and I agree with liking it better (there’s a certain sick irony that if what triggers you involves triggers you’re just fucked)

  54. Argenti Aertheri

    um…if that sentence failed at clarity, the second use of the word trigger was meant in the firearms sense

  55. As I understand it, there are PTSD triggers and OCD triggers* and they’re not quite the same thing, but it is courtesy to note either. You can’t get them all, but some things are reasonably likely to be triggering.

    Also, building on what Karalora said: they feel their illegitimate power ebbing, and this is an attempt to retain it.

    *I’m including ED here

  56. Vanessa Emma Goldman

    ah yes, Shakesville. i keep wanting to go back there because i like the content, but then i remember what a jerk the person who runs the blog is, and i can’t stomach the thought of going there.

  57. “Content note” seems nice to me because it allows for other reasons you might want to avoid the post. For instance, maybe a prudish type wouldn’t want to read posts with swearing in them.

  58. I believe anying can be joked about, by the right person, and without the punchline simply being ‘Ha ha, joke’s on the victims’ (you’ll notice those who do it best, like The Onion, only mock the circumstances). But, as usual, the least funny people, the kind who drove Dave Chapelle to quit show business and quoted Borate six years after the movie came out, are the ones crying loudest about their right to tell jokes. Dude. I’m not just offended by the content of your joke, I’m embarrassed that you sincerely think you’re ‘the funny one’ in your sad little group of friends.

    PS Anna thanks for that great link. In case anyone missed it on scroll down:

  59. @Argenti, a lot of watershed stuff is self policing. Movie sales practices certainly are (as I would think that, in regards to any content other than sexual or national security matters, the recent free speech rulings regarding video game marketing restrictions and violence would apply to dvds as well). Sexual stuff is its set of less protected doctrines. Traditionally broadcast tv was subjected to regulation on time, place, and manner grounds. However, that really was not expanded to cable, as cable was viewed as less public and more opt in. I think it would be really interesting to see a basic cable network do a constitutional challenge around restrictions of violence and swearing in light of the newer developments of law in regards to other mediums. Of course, that would be more expensive than just going along and paying the fines, which is probably why they don’t, but in the current legal climate, they do have a chance at winning if they did challenge.

  60. I like Shakesville and Melissa. (I’m assuming that’s who you’re talking about.) I don’t agree with everything she does or writes, but I most definitely think she doesn’t deserve to be called a jerk.

  61. So I guess they’d be totally OK with jokes about prison rape then?

    That’s the thing, it seems they’re ONLY ok with jokes about women being raped, and completely appauled by prison rape jokes. They also believe that women bring rape upong themselves by their behavior (short skirt, walking down an alley, wtc), but that men who choose to commit crimes which will land them in jail do not.

    Meanwhile feminists don’t seem to think that any of these things are ok, yet we’re the bigots apparently.

  62. Argenti Aertheri

    darksidecat — I realize TV censorship is largely self-censoring, but the point I was making was that you’re more likely to see violence on the news than the show before the news. You might be right that cable could win if they fought it, but IANAL.

    In any case, point was that you’re opting in to watch it, not having to opt out of half the internet to avoid rape “jokes”. (Yes NWO, half is the official feminist statistic😄 )

  63. Vanessa Emma Goldman

    yes, Wisteria, i was talking about Melissa from Shakesville. and yes, my experience with her is that she is a jerk who does not care much about other people’s feelings. and i am sure she would say that she has a right to be that way. and you know what? i agree, she DOES have a right to be a jerk who does not care about other people’s feelings. and i have a right to feel hurt by her attitude, and to say that she is a jerk.

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