He blogs … just like a woman

This just in: I am a woman! Again. At least according to a blogger calling herself miliefisathand, who recently wrote a post about that “are nice guys sociopaths?” post I wrote a while ago.

Her evidence? When writing her response to me, she repeatedly found herself referring to me using female pronouns — so therefore I must actually be a woman.

Yes, that’s actually her argument:

While editing my article I lost count of the number of times I had to change “her” or “she” to “him” and “he”. I don’t normally make gender pronoun errors so I have a deep suspicion that the author is a woman impersonating a man. I’m spiritually sensitive to such things.

Hate to break it to you, but your guy-dar is way off. Protip: I post under my real name, and if you google that name, you will find ample evidence that I am, in fact, a real, living dude.

In the case of MRA dudes who misgender me as a woman, it’s clearly the result of their misogyny. In the case of miliefisathand, a self-described Smartassed Burmese Transwoman, I don’t quite understand what exactly is going on.

She also misses the point of my post, and the comments from regulars here that offered some pretty sensible criticisms of what I wrote, but at this point it’s not exactly a shock to see a Man Boobz critic arguing against things I didn’t say rather than things I did say.

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon, Time.com, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on June 28, 2012, in antifeminism, MRA, nice guys, whaaaaa?. Bookmark the permalink. 187 Comments.

  1. It’s almost refreshing to have up-front honest mockery instead of half-hearted attempts to dress the hatred in argument.

  2. “So if a kid is sitting quietly drinking pop, that harms all the adults around. If a raging asshole cusses at a kindergartner, that is not disruptive. It is a public service against the tyranny of children existing. – thebionicmommy

    Sorry, if there was an implication in my posts that children doing nothing warrants random arseholes yelling at them, then I apologise. If anything I post doesn’t make sense, I hope people will be kind enough to let me know so i’m not confusing (or worse, offending) anyone.😦

    Also, maybe there’s a bit of a cultural thing going on here? I must admit that people being anti-the-existence-of-kids (ie. with no provocation) is sort of an alien concept to me (I think people getting angry at parents for not being perfect is universal concept though). I’m used to it being the opposite.

    Anyway, i’ll shut up.

  3. thebionicmommy

    No worries, ShadetheDruid. I knew you what it meant and it’s fine. I was just ranting against the people out there that feel outraged at the existence of kids at all. I always wonder if they were born as fully grown adults to be able to hate children so much.

    I don’t know if it is a cultural thing or not. That’s a good question. Joplin is in the running for 2012’s Most Friendly City according to Rand McNally, but we still have our fair share of assholes.

    So again, it’s cool. You didn’t say anything wrong, and I never took it that way at all.:-)

  4. Ok, phew, thanks.:)

  5. Brave is fricking SCARY in places. The poor kid was melting down and asking to leave, and her parents kept telling her it was okay, and just be calm, it gets better…

    When I saw Coraline, there were some kids there getting their dose of childhood traumatization. Mine was Jumanji.

  6. thebionicmommy

    The scariest movie I saw as a kid was The Blob. I still won’t watch that movie.

  7. Mine was Event Horizon, but i’m guessing i’m being a little too literal by picking something that’s actually supposed to be scary (although The Blob would also apply under that distinction). O.O

  8. Mine was the Rankin/Bass “Return of the King,” which I saw when I was far too small to have any idea what was going on. All I got out of it was, “scary people will bite your fingers off.”

  9. As they say in the site-I-won’t-even-name-it’ll-eat-your-life-and-brain-don’t-think-about-it, they clarify that there’s Nightmare Fuel and Accidental Nightmare Fuel.

    But whether you catch the on-purpose stuff too young, or your kiddie movie suddenly does something that you, personally freak out about… (hint–the kid wasn’t freaking out because a bad person had shown up. They were freaking out because the mother was ##@%@#$%23-SPOILERS, PEOPLE—it was like Bambi all over again. Only worse. Now mommy was —listen, this discussion is hard if I can’t assume everybody has seen Brave. Can I assume that?

  10. Might want to take it to the forum if you want to talk spoilers.

  11. I will keep my lips zipped regarding spoilers.

    So, short version, Brave has nightmare fuel of the unintentional sort that could cause quite a bit of trauma for the poor kids.

    The first really traumatic movie for me, that scared the pants right off me, was the Blob. My mom was like, no, that’s just a corny kind of movie, right?

    The idea of something that couldn’t be stopped, that wasn’t human, that would touch you and then you knew you were done but you couldn’t fight it? Um… yeah.

    Sometimes I try to write horror novels. I can’t think of anything scarier than that.

  12. Yeah, I haven’t seen it and want to stay spoiler-free, but I’d like to keep reading the thread.

    DYOR, what is wrong with fat crossdressers exactly, and how do you know that Howard is one? o.O Also, could you please enlighten me about what the joke was? I am a Nonbinary of Little Brain and may miss the subtleties of your humor.

    You will notice that I don’t hate freedom of speech. In fact, I am encouraging you to speak!

  13. Argenti Aertheri

    DYOR —

    “A woman thought you were a woman LOL … get it?”

    No, no I don’t, care to explain?

    “don’t you have some men to service?”

    Well, it is his birthday, so I tried calling despite knowing he’s silly busy currently, but I got voicemail. Sometimes you have a deadline 2 days after your birthday, shit happens.

    ShadetheDruid — “which glaring at the parent definitely is, or any glaring for that matter. I think I just worked up an irrational hatred of glaring” — I reserve my glaring for people glaring, and assholes (eg catcallers). But yeah, glaring at a gay couple holding hands? *death glare*

    katz — “Mine was Jumanji.” — me too! And having rewatched it not that long ago, it’s still scary. (That movie scared my mother too, though I’m entirely sure her childhood traumatizing movie would be the birds)

    Re: Brave — haven’t seen it, will likely not see it until it’s out on DVD, please don’t spoil the ending. Thanks!

  14. thebionicmommy

    The idea of something that couldn’t be stopped, that wasn’t human, that would touch you and then you knew you were done but you couldn’t fight it? Um… yeah.

    Sometimes I try to write horror novels. I can’t think of anything scarier than that.

    I agree. It looks gross, it eats people alive, and it is indestructible for anyone but Steve McQueen with a fire extinguisher.

  15. For me it was 20,000 leagues under the sea. That giant squid was scary, man!

  16. thebionicmommy

    The squid from Pirates of the Caribbean was scary, too. Cephalopods just look creepy with their giant heads and long tentacles.

  17. ShadetheDruid

    That and they appear to be all soft and squishy, but have stuff like hooks and beaks hidden underneath. O.O

  18. I was fine when I hit movies, nothing compared with Dr Who’s cybermen, which set me up for years of looking at scary scenes through my fingers. I’m so old, I watched it on a black and white television.:)

    I think taking up knitting while watching television was what cured me of the fingers trick. That, and it not being a good look once you become a teenager.

  19. Y’all are weird. Cephalopods are AWESOME.

    For the longest time I thought they were called cuddlefish and I was very happy at the person who shared my opinion that they needed to be snuggled…

  20. Hey, speaking of cephalopods you know what’s an actual thing that exists? Vampire squid!


    How cool is that?

  21. ShadetheDruid

    This reminds me of another little story actually (another example of me being an idiot with people’s avatars and imagining them as stuff). *Pauses for the collective groan*

    That little octopus avatar Ozy sometimes uses? For aaggeess I thought that was a mouse. >.<

  22. MorkaisChosen

    … You need to meet some of my friends.

    Or more specifically the six-foot plushie squid one of my friends made.

  23. Mine was, “The Legend of Hell House”. I can, however, see why the child was scared in Brave. I’m 45, and I wasn’t sure the ending was going to work out. It was some pretty scary stuff, in a lot of ways.

    BTW, has anyone else notice the stupid, useless, Green Screen in front of trailers now…?

    “This Preview has been approved for appropriate audiences”.

    Duh… but it’s not conveying any actual content.

  24. Argenti Aertheri

    “nothing compared with Dr Who’s cybermen”

    …this is true, and I didn’t learn of them until I was 25 (though, I find the weeping angels even more terrifying, at least you can try to run from cybers)

  25. thebionicmommy

    The side view of the vampire squid looked interesting. The oral view, though, looked like the sarlacc from Star Wars.

  26. Huh. I suppose it does.

    And yeah, the Weeping Angels are pretty fuckin’ scary.

  27. you are alright in my book ozy, just keep your gorilla back white knight fat boy Howard on a chain, my goodness he sounds so angry. Anyways, the joke was not that funny to you guys so who cares. I’m starting to understand the posters on here. talk to you later.:)

  28. no no no no no

    don’t leave yet


  29. What’s a gorilla back?

  30. I am guessing its some kind of racist remark but who even knows.

  31. No one was afraid of the Daleks?

  32. I’m pretty sure that gorilla back refers to hairy back.
    Because gross. (the assumption is)

  33. Argenti Aertheri

    “No one was afraid of the Daleks?”

    Far less so than cybers or the weeping angels, they just kill you dead, and quickly even. That’s almost find compared to the cybers (and the angels, depending which way they kill you).

  34. ShadetheDruid

    You have to admit though, Daleks did get a little scarier once they figured out stairs.😛

  35. MorkaisChosen


  36. Argenti Aertheri

    Well fuck me and my typing skills — find should be kind >.<

  37. Why the hell are MRAs obsessed with orifices and (not) penetrating? Seventh graders have a more sophisticated sense of humor than these clowns.

  38. I’m a 33 year old grown man and I almost lost it several times watching Brave.

    There’s something about Pixar movies that really gets to me. I think I was actually sobbing at the end of the Story of Carl’s Life in the first 15 minutes of Up.

    I won’t spoil Brave, but I will say that tiny Merida is the cutest thing ever. I realize I am saying this on the Internet and thus earning the lifelong enmity of all cats everywhere, but it’s true. Go see Brave. Do it!

    As far as movies making me lose my shit, I got really freaked out at Arachnophobia and I couldn’t understand why my folks found it at all funny.

    Oh, and I’ve seen Evil Dead 2 but not Evil Dead because even with all the comedy, Evil Dead 2 is pretty intense and I’ve heard Evil Dead is more.

    Better get off. My cat is helping me type like Ruby helps us reform our prisons.

  39. I’ve thought the new series kind of realizes how naff the Daleks are, and tries to impress upon the audience how scary the Daleks should be by having the Doctor totally flip his shit. It doesn’t always work, and the body count has to suffice.

    Also, I think there’s an inverse Dalek law, parallel to the inverse ninja law.

  40. I’m a 33 year old grown man and I almost lost it several times watching Brave.

    Yer not alone. That movie is just impossibly, soul-achingly sweet and amazing.

  41. Argenti Aertheri

    Arachnophobia creeps me right out, but I still loved that ending (it’s funny because goddamned you, you fucking giant ass spider!). And I do find the Daleks scary, particularly the Bad Wolf ones, but, well “exterminate!” “yeah, I kind of figured that” — no being reanimated as their voice box or sent back in time, no “upgrading”, no being turned into a Sithleen skin suit, just one quick shot — they’re almost merciful for the Doctor Who big baddies. No, you can’t well beat them, but they’re quick about it at least.

  42. I think the Daleks used to be a lot less impressive than they currently are (and have been for while now, really). They’ve come a long way from the easily bamboozled top-heavy bumper cars that were introduced in 1963. People’s perceptions of them seem awfully dated. I still see jokes about them being baffled by stairs, even though it’s established they can levitate.

    That said, no matter how scary and capable they become, they’ll always be kinda funny. They’re too absurd not to be. Although sometimes the absurdity of something is precisely what makes it terrifying.

  43. Argenti Aertheri

    Dracula — I find old series Doctor Who just a bit too laughable to really watch, yet I still find them less terrifying than the cybers (or angels, or the Sithleen most days) — if the baddie of the week is going to kill you, it could at least be quick about it.

    Actually, the most terrifying might be the vashta nerada, but I try not to think about those episodes (because of River, not them). Anything that makes the Doctor say “run, just run” ranks among the most terrifying things in existence. Vashta nerada = *shudder*

  44. The Vashta Nerada are pretty scary, although to me the whole neural interface communicator “ghosting” thing has more frightening implications.

  45. But then, that was kinda integrated into the scariness of the Vashta Nerada themselves, so maybe I’m just splitting hairs here.

  46. Daleks might not be the best out of the Doctor Who “monsters”, but I still like them a lot. They don’t have as much fear and/or creep factor as some of the others (though they’re still killing machines, so they’re far from unscary), but I think what makes it for me is what they actually are, their history, and how they got that way.

    (Weeping Angels will always be my favourites though😀 ).

  47. :) I think it’s exactly the contrast between their arrogant grandiosity and their silly appearance that makes the daleks such great villians.

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