Innovative New “Bread” Metaphor Explains Why Most Women are “Stale” and “Moldy”

Some men are also Bread

On his newish blog Return of Kings, pickup-guru-turned-philosopher Roosh V has come up with yet another way to justify his creepy obsession with women a lot younger than his hairy self: he compares them with loaves of bread.

When a loaf comes out of the oven (puberty), it’s warm and delicious. You can’t help but stuff yourself. (18-24 years old)

When you leave the loaf out, it gets a little hard. You have to heat it up with a toaster first, but it still won’t taste fresh. (25-29 years old)

If you leave the bread out for too long, mold develops. You can cut away the mold, toast the bread, and still be able to eat it, but you won’t enjoy it. You’d have to be starving. (30-34 years old)

If you leave it for even longer, mold takes over and completely destroys the bread. There is no way to excise the toxic portions. You must throw it away before the mold makes you sick. (35 and up)

The lesson in this? Live next to the bakery.

Well, that was creepy as fuck.

Also, he seems a bit confused about when puberty actually happens. Or he just doesn’t want to state outright that he’d really rather be “dating” 15 year olds.



About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon,, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on November 23, 2012, in creepy, douchebaggery, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, pedophiles oh sorry ephebophiles, PUA, rhymes with roosh and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 291 Comments.

  1. I read the reactions here and went digging my email if I could find the offending comment. I did, and I must confess it didn’t shock me, at all. The fact it did shock so many others is an indicator of how seeing comments like that (and much worse) on weekly or even daily basis desensitises the mind, and not that it’s actually acceptable to say such things (except in the strictest legal sense, perhaps) if some people don’t feel offended.

    I guess anyone involved in gaming knows exactly what I’m talking about. You learn to block it out to the point of some women even defending the open use of such threats. Glad that Manboobz is a zone free of that trash.

  2. Oh, on a gaming site I’d expect it (which is a big part of why I don’t hang out on those sites). From someone who IDs as a feminist, though?

  3. To reymohammed, I’d like to say this: I’m willing to believe you are simply desensitised to extreme violent language and would not commit such an act in reality, to a real human of flesh and blood. In the future when you feel the urge to post something like that think about what you’re about to post. Not just as words on the screen that will be forgotten as soon as they’ve been posted but think of the content real hard. If it’s something you’d say to a friend during an argument, and you’d stay as friends afterwards then go ahead and post it. If not, then rethink.

    The only way to get over the desensitisation is to force yourself to remember there’s a human being reading your comment, and they might have experienced the horror for real. Or might have someone threatening them with such for real. If you find it an unacceptable idea that someone close to you could be that reader, then you have hope still.

    CassandraSays, I’m not even surprised anymore. I see it everywhere, but it’s the gaming community in particular that is the worst. A source of kinds, no matter how much I like it for other reasons. Everyone gets a little bit corrupted when they spend time in those cesspools, and spreads the corruption to other parts of the internet with their comments. I’ve been a community manager for the best part of the past decade and I’ve lost the count of how many times I’ve been “promised” to rape, beat to death etc fun stuff by the same people who wanted to be my friends the day before and showed no signs of mental instability, which might explain such a change of persona. Even generally good folks can forget we’re all still people despite the internet’s anonymity and then… this happens. Except of course when it’s a case of true malice in the clothes of progressiveness.

    Only reymohammed knows which zie is, I guess.

  4. This guy is about as attractive as a yeast infection.

    (Now to check this thread to see if this joke’s already been made!)

  5. @clairedammit – thank you for your comment!

    @Magpie – thank you also for your comment. I’m sorry you had this, too – and I’m glad you had your mother and your aunt!

    @Pecunium – you addressed a comment to reymohammed, but spoke about various laws. I’m pretty sure you meant that part of your comments to me, since you seem to be referring to an earlier comment you’d written to me. Thank you – I appreciate your expertise.

  6. Yeah, it wasn’t the statement in general that shocked me, as I’m someone who has grown up watching horror movies and seen visual depictions of worse, it’s the source. Being in a space that condemns people for using sexual violence and threats of sexual violence, to see someone who isn’t a troll say they’d like to commit such an act on a woman is bizarre. I don’t get why anyone would think that THIS would be the space to make such a comment.

  7. “Or he just doesn’t want to state outright that he’d really rather be “dating” 15 year olds.” That would put his sex tourism in a new light.

  8. I hit puberty at the ripe old age of 9-10 years old. That’s when my boobs started growing (and growing and growing). By 12, I was a DD cup (and no, I wasn’t an obese child, either) and having periods. I was constantly being hit on by men in their late 20s and it was creepy as fuck.

    The idea that as a woman, I have only a limited “usefulness” to a man, and that I’m only good for a short time before he’ll be “obligated” to trade me for a younger model is not only insulting to me (that I would stand for such treatment) but insulting to men in general, many of whom do not treat women (and humans in general) like disposable foodstuffs. In addition, is anyone else creeped out by the “eating” implications of this analogy? As though women are edible and must be consumed in order to survive (which kind of makes logical sense as to why they seem so upset when they can’t “get” sex- but I assure them, lack of sex does not equal death). Makes me want to write a horror story. Sadly, the true horror is that people actually think like this.

  9. This is why you have to put women in refrigerators! (You know, the comics trope.) It all makes sense now.

  10. @Meerkat: am just cruising through the top posts to see if I missed anything, and am glad I did because your comment is PRICELESS!

    *claps loudly and appreciatively*


  11. ” If you leave the bread out for too long, mold develops. You can cut away the mold, toast the bread, and still be able to eat it”

    Even disregarding that this is part of a creepy metaphor about how women 25 and older are increasingly undesirable, that’s just factually inaccurate. Even at the earliest stages, you can’t eat moldy bread — by the time you can actually see mold, it’s thoroughly colonized the bread and it isn’t safe to eat, as what you can see are the fruiting bodies. It’s already mature and reproducing by that point.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 17,150 other followers

%d bloggers like this: