MRA Paul Elam Launches a Hate Campaign Against a College Student for Attending a Demonstration and Making Twitter Jokes

Paul Elam, Poster Boy for a Hate Movement

Paul Elam, Poster Boy for a Hate Campaign

Paul Elam is a 55-year-old man who once told a feminist foe that “the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection.” Today he’s launched a campaign of defamation against a college student that’s clearly intended to intimidate her and other feminists into silence. The alleged crimes of this woman, whom Elam identifies by name? Possibly attending a demonstration against MRA author Warren Farrell at the University of Toronto, possibly tearing down posters for the event, and making a couple of jokes on Twitter. Oh, and she also once suggested that Farrell was a misogynist.

Elam has not yet revealed what effect this new campaign has had upon his penis.

While her (apparent) attendance at the anti-Farrell demonstration is what brought the young woman to Elam’s attention, he seems particularly puzzled and enraged by two jokey comments she made on Twitter. In one of them, she joked that her “political position” was “kill all men hail satan.” In the other, she said she was thinking about getting knuckle tattoos that spell out “misandry.”

These jokey comments have evidently convinced Elam that

She doesn’t just hate men; doesn’t just want them dead or silenced or marginalized or ignored. She at least entertains the idea of permanently marking her skin with that hatred, like a convict signaling gang affiliation.

Pretty harsh words from someone whose YouTube handle used to be TheHappyMisogynist. (Check the URL here.)

So what exactly is the point of publicizing her name, which will give the assholes now posting rape threats and other violent shit about the demonstrators at that Warren Farrell protest the real name of a real, live person to harass?

Elam, while carefully avoiding any direct incitement of harassment and/or violence, makes clear that his aim is to “stop her.”

[She] is not going to stop. And no one at the University of Toronto is going to stop her. We can figure that one out by the fact that they chartered clubs to enable that kind of conduct.

For that reason, we bring her to public attention here at AVfM.

Additionally, over the next two days, she will be listed on as a known bigot, and her image and name will find a place on our display of featured offenders.

Elam promises to do the same, by name, to others who attended the protest as well.

The best way to strike back at Elam’s campaign to shut up critics of his hateful Men’s Rights ideology? Make more noise.

If anyone is interested in reaching out to the student and any others who may be targeted by Elam, please contact me or leave a comment below. And if anyone knows how to contact her, please send me an email.

(Also, at one point Elam describes Farrell as “an individual who has dedicated a lifetime to helping children in trouble.” Oh, is that what he was doing when he was working on a book that he said would highlight the alleged “positive” aspects of incest?)

EDITED TO ADD: Just to make clear, this woman is not the same woman that Elam and JohnTheOther were talking about in their previous posts; it’s a different woman, who appears only briefly in that video. It’s not clear if they have the other woman’s info, but if not they are certainly still looking for it.

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon,, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on December 9, 2012, in a voice for men, grandiosity, harassment, hate, men who should not ever be with women ever, misandry, misogyny, MRA, not-quite-explicit threats, paul elam, rape, rape jokes, threats, unsolicited penis updates, warren farrell and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 203 Comments.

  1. Dang, I should buy stock in horse porn.

  2. I can’t wait for AVfM to take inurashii’s comment out of context.

  3. inurashii, your comment’s position on the top of the comment section makes me seriously consider not turning to older comments.

    On the other hand, I MUST KNOW.

  4. Carleyblue

    Anger and resentment is one thing, but the idea that the ideas espoused by MRAs are gaining traction is hard to believe.

    JohnTheOther himself acknowledged that MRAs are despised and that they number no more than 10,000.

    The most popular/well publicized MRAeque organisation is Fathes 4 Justice. Despite their publicity, they still don’t get triple figures at their protests.

    The AVfM/Spearhead brand of MRAs will never move from the lunatic fringe.

  5. @ Carnation

    I certainly hope you’re right.

  6. Actually, I think it’s resistance to misogyny in general that is gaining traction. I keep coming across more mainstream writers just throwing down and saying ‘hey, all this creepy stuff you are writing about women is not cool.’ (sane people can throw down very gently)

  7. That image of Paul Elam reminds me of a fox terrier. Thankfully a fox terrier can neither talk nor act like a pompous ass seeking violence on women. Sadly, neither seems to have an “off” button in the vocalization department (terriers are notorious for constant and persistant barking).

    And these jerks wonder why many of us prefer the company of animals to MRA monkey-business.

  8. Can we figure out what Paul Elam’s address is and sign him up for every newsletter and commercial publication ever? At the very least, it would be hilarious to see him have to go through a metric ton of junk mail.

  9. @Dualityheart I like that plan! Better yet, let’s sign him up for a bunch of feminist stuff: Planned Parenthood mailings, women’s studies department newsletters, maybe even a subscription to Ms. or Bitch

  10. Actually I’d think that even the most tediously mainstream and non-feminist magazines’s – Cosmo, Women’s Health – would have him frothing at the mouth. Women’s Health would probably prompt a rant about how this just proves how pervasive feminism is and how nobody cares about men’s health because men don’t have their own magazine.

    (Hint – they do!)

  11. “Ask most guys over the age of about 40 where I live whether men are discriminated against by society and they will laugh. Ask guys my age (24) or younger the same question and more than half of them will say yes, absolutely.”

    That may be as much about individual maturity as it is about social generational habits.

  12. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    Carleyblue – From what I’ve seen, Australian society tends to be fairly unthinkingly misogynistic in many ways, though without the specifically religious crackpottery infecting US politics, for instance. But I don’t think one could say the MRM is getting more traction here. Hell, it’s practically unknown; I’ve never seen a mention of it in the main papers at all, or spoken to anyone who’s ever heard of it. I think the MRM’s screaming for attention is more sound and fury than actual numbers or influence.

  13. @Carleyblue
    I think you have it backwards. The MRM‘s views are not exactly novel, they’ve been around for a long time, so when someone expresses views that are similar to the MRM, that doesn’t necessarily mean they are a part of it. In fact, the MRM probably wouldn’t have even the limited “success” they have if it wasn’t for those views already being prevalent in socety.

  14. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    Good point, Myoo. All this lot are doing is trotting out the same old misogyny with extra hatred. The medium is new, not the message.

  15. I just read through their comments on the AVfM site, and I have a couple of OT questions (trigger warnings):

    First – what’s with their hatred of the KKK? I would have thought they’d be more in favor of it. Basically the same views, just a slightly different object set. Plus, having lived in a lot of backwoods/backwards deep south, I’ve known quite a few Klan and open KKK supporters (full disclosure to make sure this is clear – I am NOT one, by any stretch of the imagination), and a lot of them are in agreement with the MRAs. AVfM is going to lose a bunch of support if they keep up the anti-KKK attitude. (Not to defend the KKK, but I should point out that not all KKK are MRAs and vice versa – but there is overlap.)

    Second – what is the “rapebook” that they keep talking about? It appears to have something to do with Facebook, but I’m not sure what, and didn’t want to dig further to find out.

  16. Dualityheart, that would be harassment too, though.

  17. What if we all send him feminist Holiday cards instead?

  18. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    What, and waste a stamp on that bloke?

  19. Ugh. Depressing news is depressing. Here, have ADVENTURES OF LINK AND KITTEH.

  20. drst: No problem. I figure that in the areas where I have personal experience/expertise it matter to smack the stupid upside the head with facts. It’s also good to show people who know there is something there what those facts are, so they can use them the next time someone starts to play that stupid again on the guitar.

  21. Emma Claire is not some innocent, helpless little girl. She’s nineteen years old. So, by Canadian law, she’s legally old enough to vote, marry, own property, and sign a contract. Anybody old enough to do that is certainly old enough to own their shit.

    As for her “jokes”, I really must ask: Why is it so acceptable for women to make jokes about themselves killing all men, but when Daniel Tosh makes a hypothetical remark about a girl getting raped, he’s suddenly the Embodiment of All That Is Evil and Patriarchal?

    You motherfucking hypocrites.

  22. I have heard that the KKK perpetrates vigilante violence against wife beaters. That could be a big reason MRAs hate them (but they’ll claim it’s because of the racism, of course).

  23. Interesting.

    Oh well time to go on a poster run….

  24. Feminist protest 2012 VS redneck protest 1962 – spot the difference.

  25. …Is there any reason you’ve posted that video in every thread?

  26. @ Myoo
    Yeah, you’re right, I don’t consider them part of the movement of course. But if these are old ideas (which many of them are), wouldn’t older men and more conservative men be more likely to express them? In my experience, those who see men as victims are young and tend to be left-wing. Maybe the other ones just keep it to themselves. Or my personal experience could be anomalous*.

    *Is that a word?
    I’m not trying to start an argument, just wondering aloud.

    @Frank James Spencer Those are a whole lot of posters to put up…

  27. These are some sorry ass posters Frankie. You make the RCP (Canada) look like graphic design geniuses.

    Hope you guys make a conference in Montreal real soon, you’ll think Toronto protests were tame.

  28. Frank, what does ‘My body, my choice’ mean in the context of men’s rights? I await your sure-to-be-hilarious reply.

  29. I found a picture of Frankie

    Don’t be a hater (V) (;,,;) (V)

    (For Dr. Zoidberg, obviously. Hate on Frankie all you want.)

  30. @Kiki: hat does ‘My body, my choice’ mean in the context of men’s rights? I await your sure-to-be-hilarious reply.

    Me too!

    While waiting….drawing on my aging memory from past Manboobz posts and trolls.

    The RIGHT to be free of evil wimminz jacking their sperm to create pregnancies to falsely accuse them of rape and send police as proxy violence and get childcare to buy bonbons?

    The right to a “paper abortion”?

  31. I hadn’t watched any Futurama in years. Fortunately it appears to be perpetually streaming from Netflix.

    Zoidberg was always my favorite. I thought Frye was given the idiot ball too often.

  32. My first thought was male infant circumcision …. but that would be logical and justifiable so I can’t be right.

  33. Sorry, that had nothing to do with anything.

  34. no, no, Futurama is always connected to everything. Like Kevin Bacon …

  35. Zoidberg is always relevant!!

    Fry: I can’t play anymore
    Zoidberg: The music was in your heart, not your hands!! *Listens to Fry play* Your music is bad and you should feel bad!!

  36. Apparently horse porn is also always relevant
    /things I learned from manboobz

  37. That “poster run” is hilarious. Did you pick the deserted alleyway because it reminds you of your mother’s basement?

  38. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    Yeah, “my body my choice” applies to men how?

    Your dick, you get to shove it where you want, regardless?

    You don’t have to use contraceptives if you don’t want to?

    You don’t have to support the children you sire?*

    *had to work in an equine refernce somehow.

  39. I didn’t know you could do Zoidberg as an ascii smiley.

    My life has just gotten better.

    (V) (;,,;) (V)

    Woob woob woob woob! *scuttles away*

  40. … That’s slightly worrying, because…


    Hello, Cthulhu.

  41. Ascii Cthulhu



  42. I didn’t know you could do Zoidberg as an ascii smiley.

    My life has just gotten better.

  43. Hey! New here, and from Toronto. Would love to help out anyway I can.

    As of lately, I’ve constantly been reading about the MRM, and hearing that the MRM has a group so close to home is sickening!

    So very glad to have found this website! I commend you on your writing… it’s engaging, accessible, funny and very informative. Can’t wait to become a regular participant here. Thanks

  44. Yeah…I’d go with that she was jokin’ about the misandrist comments. In a way of mocking them about /their/ whineaboutwomen attitude.

    I have the right to be light on this woman. However, anyone who wouldn’t do the same for a man joking around with a genuine crazy misogynist has no right to go “it’s just a joke!”. I just wanted to make that clear. What I mean is, if some man mocks a misogynist by saying “kill all women hail satan” and that he wants a “misogynist” tattoo on his knuckles, that should be alright with everyone here. No, “Even if it was just a joke it’s awful! Saying kill women?!” none of that shit.

    (And the connotation that sentence gives is insulting and offensive too… along the lines of how can anyone even joke about killing the poor weak wimminz. Please don’t be biased and respond like that. I’m going to show you how weak women are if you do that. :D)

  45. Okay, the protestors had every right to protest, but I comment unbiasedly…they had no right to get physical or threatening, and no right to accuse all of the policemen and security there of being Men’s Rights activists. Cmon. THEY look bad when they accuse everyone of being misandrist, right? Don’t act like them. Don’t attack people who didn’t do anything to be attacked.

    It was pretty unfair that they were calling the police men’s rights activists just for not being biased in their security. Police do that all the time – keep peace at both sides, get people to back up, etc…just because they’re not letting you do what you want, when at some misogynist rally, they’d be doing the same to them, doesn’t mean you get to call them men’s rights activists.

    I imagine that some of the police there, especially the ones that support the feminist cause, were pretty damn hurt by that.

  46. Ughh…some of the people there didn’t even know who this author was that wrote the stuff! People CANNOT insult and harass people just for trying to check it out. They can’t sit there and call everyone who tries to check it out woman-hating “scum”. That’s not right, because some of the people trying to check it out aren’t misogynists. Let them see for THEMSELVES that people gathering around the book have ulterior motives in mind. Attacking them is not going to convince them that something is wrong with the book or the book’s motives- their first guess would actually be that the people protesting are probably just “twisting” things, since well, they’re attacking anyone who tries to look at it.

    I fucking WELCOME people to check it out, and anyone who says they’re just checking it out, I’d offer to EDUCATE them…I’d let them in with a smile and remind them to watch out for the misogynist attitude.

    I just imagine my cousin or another family member innocently checking the book out, and being attacked like that. Those words are really hurtful and NOT okay.

  47. And of course, when someone gets past her to go in anyway, she’s all pissed off. If she had said to people, “hey, this guy is a rape apologist!” and went into detail about it, she could have TURNED PEOPLE AWAY. I hate the fact that some people at the protest clearly didn’t give a flying crap about turning people that are ignorant of everything Warren Farrel believes in and were just in attack mode. They could’ve saved plenty of non-rape apologists’ time if they had bothered to inform them of what he really thinks instead of practically PUSHING THEM THROUGH THE DOOR.

  48. Good lord…guys, if you are for fixing social and civil issues no matter what the sex, then just be humanist. Don’t bother flouncing around MRA sites because you will come across plenty of people who are just misogynistic. Anyone who calls you a misogynist because you include issue_here_that_affects_males in something you dont like, well you can call them a misandrist. It’s clearly sexist to attack people for wanting equal rights. That’s not what good feminists do.

  49. Sorry Evangeline, did your lecture have a point there?

  50. Argenti Aertheri

    Idk about a point, but I’ve met a few humanists, one of whom seems to not be speaking to me because (among other stupid reasons) I called his movement a religion and said that their “blind eye” to race, sex, etc is just supporting racism, sexism, etc.

    He is a transhumanist though, so I’d be willing to hear an argument that those problems are limited to the transhumanist sect of humanism.

    Of course, please learn how to compose a sentence first, I can’t make heads nor tails of this one —

    Anyone who calls you a misogynist because you include issue_here_that_affects_males in something you dont like, well you can call them a misandrist.

    You may be interested in what I’m currently reading though, ration wiki on the MRM.

  51. Argenti Aertheri

    “Obamacare and the feminists that support it dismiss men’s medical needs. The word “women” appears 134 times in the body of Obamacare. The word “men” appears twice in the body of Obamacare.[20] ”

    *dies* NICE GOING ZARAT >.< (Mind you rational wiki ignores that entirely and answers the actual substantive claim instead…I’m just sure Zarat would be all “I was cited, see that proves I’m right!!”)

  52. So Evangeline is the arbiter of “good” feminists now? Evangeline, way to make a first impression, now fuck off.

  53. Why is Evangeline talking to herself?

  54. I think Evangeline probably needs her own blog. Here you go, Evangeline:

    Now you can write to your heart’s content about how you think feminist activists should think, and behave.

    Go for it!

  55. Lol, as with a lot of people obsessed with reverse prejudice, this guy does not appear capable of making judgements about intent, proportion, etc. I used to joke about “irony-deficiency syndrome. His response to her jokes would fall right under that heading.

  56. Pathetic necro-troll is pathetic.

  57. Well, that was both vicious and incomprehensible.

  58. Blah, u mad, bro?

    Blah’s link doesn’t auto-play, thank goodness. I didn’t watch the video, but the description is alternately hilarious (the postscript is longer than the description), rambling, and peppered with antisemitism and the “c” word.

    Dude is also real mad about Amanda Todd – mad enough to post the same video three times. In true MRA fashion, his problem is not that men commit suicide, it’s that a woman got attention and sympathy for doing so.

  59. The claire posts…err…*eyes glazing over**

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