For MRAs, Valentine’s Day is “a socially coerced day of hyper-entitlement for a generation of princess leeches.”


Happy Valentine’s Day Boycott Day! Every year on Valentine’s Day, MRAs around the world unite in a sacred ritual: the annual Valentine’s Day Blaming of the Ladies parade.

For, you see, Valentine’s Day is little more than a plot by the ladies to extract fancy chocolate and diamonds and other pricey romantic goods from the world’s men. That’s why, for the past I’m-not-going-to-look-up-the-number of years, the lady hating radio personality Marc Rudov has been trying to get other men to boycott the holiday to show the ladies of the world what’s what.

And plenty of manosphere dudes, from MRAs to MGTOWers, are happy to join in. I’ve highlighted some of their silliness in previous Valentine’s Day posts here, here and here. But, though I mentioned it, I never really did full justice to the denunciation of V-day that a certain Paul Elam posted on A Voice for Men a couple of years back.

Let’s take a look, shall we?

Elam starts off with a brief statement of his overall thesis:

Valentines Day is to be avoided for what it is; a socially coerced day of hyper-entitlement for a generation of princess leeches.


[I]f you think loving someone means your wallet comes out while her purse remains closed then you will delighted to know that A Voice for Men will be selling monogrammed knee pads in the near future.  All we need is the circumference of your knees and what sort of flooring is in your bedroom. We expect an endorsement from Joe Biden.

Actually, I just checked the A Voice for Men store, and the promised knee-pads are nowhere to be found. Though the John The Other mugs, sporting “JtO’s signature chainsaw,” look lovely! (And what better symbol of AVFM’s steadfast stance against violence than a lumberjacking tool also famous for its use in cinematic massacres!)

It’s not long before Elam turns his attention to that infamous slogan of a certain jeweler which MRAs seem to think originated as a feminist bumper sticker: “Every Kiss Begins With Kay.”

It would be better to say that every blowjob begins with Kay. After all, those full, moist lips they are promising you on the ad can go in quite a few places, and likely will if the tennis bracelet has enough carats.

That’s right fellas: Forget the old “Whitman’s Sampler” box of chocolates and wilted roses bought at the grocery store on the way home from work because you forgot it was Valentine’s Day. These days. each and every woman in America expects a diamond-encrusted tennis bracelet picked out by a dude who has no idea what sort of jewelry she likes. (Reward: One blowjob, the only one you will get all year.)

But underneath all this is something actually a little darker.  Not all men are getting blowjobs and other forms of sex for the presents on Valentines Day so much as they are getting a reprieve from constant nagging and criticism, if they happen to get the right present.  Nobody wants to talk about it, but Valentines Day, for far too many men, is actually Lighten Up and Don’t be such an Insufferable Bitch Day, but only if you get the present right.

Ah, the Blaming of the Ladies parade is in full swing! Next up, the Entitled Bitches Who Are Sort of Like Winos float, sponsored by A Voice for Men.

It is not just a matter of entitlement, but one of self esteem.  And as most readers of this site already know, anyone who depends someone else making a trip to Zales or FTD in order to feel good about themselves has serious fucking issues.  Feeding that on Valentines Day is like handle a bottle of Jack Daniels to your local sot.

He is only going to come back looking for more, and he won’t quit till his liver gives out.

All this talk of winos gets Elam thinking about the good old days, when he worked with substance abusers, and evidently spent much of his time trying to get them to blame women for all of their problems.

I used to counsel groups of men. It was a tough job getting them to be honest about women because of fears that putting reality on the table would drive women away.  But with time almost all of them came to admit their constant frustrations with the pressures to to keep pleasing their women, especially where it concerns materialism. …

Almost without exception the men who were the most frustrated with financial pressures were also men who had entered those relationships wallet first, making sure Princess felt like a princess every minute of the day.

In other words, they went fishing with stink bait and caught bottom dwellers.  And then they ended up silently stewing over it.

They got exactly what they paid for and nothing less.

What a wonderful counselor you must have been, Paul. So much empathy. So much insight. So much caring.

So, gentlemen, if you want your kisses to begin with Kay, please allow me to suggest a prostitute, or at least a woman that admits that is what she is. They may not actually kiss you, but I am thinking their skills in the fellatio department are considerably more developed. And when they are done they will go away!

How cool is that?

For Elam, every kiss begins with rage.

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon,, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on February 14, 2013, in a voice for men, a woman is always to blame, antifeminism, evil women, JohnTheOtter, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, oppressed men, paul elam, princesses, whores and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 219 Comments.

  1. You’re a really kitty now!

  2. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    LOL yup! Mads and her friends the shoes have taken over the gravatars.

  3. Vintage chocolate – clearly, the stuff you find when you’re cleaning out the freezer and can’t remember ever buying.

    Giving away vintage chocolate to a beloved is just mean (which may be the point with this dude). Giving away vintage chocolate to your friends (with suitable warning), is an adventure!

    I sort of like V-Day, but not the romantic stuff. The best memories I have are from grade school, because everyone gave out a little card to everyone else (it didn’t matter if people actually liked each other, lol). Those cards were awesome, and I kinda wish they were something adults did, though the ecards are pretty sweet too – oh, and thank you to whoever posted the Dalek valentine – I sent it to my mom & she loved it!.

  4. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    LOL I’m more likely to have vintage vegetables in my fridge. Chocolate just doesn’t stay put that long.

    Come to think of it, vintage vegetables would be just the Valentine’s gift for these MRAs.

  5. @Dragging Sledder

    I am bisexual, and exclusively pursue men. If women learn to behave more respectably, I may grant them my interest.

    Oh fer chris’ sake child…how fucking old are you?

    Is it just me or is Dragging sounding exactly like the character from the OGLAF cartoon posted earlier in this thread?

  6. @The Kittehs’ Unpaid Help

    Aren’t we all? I work for three of the little buggers, including the kitten rescued from the jaws of a raccoon by My Wife, the Superhero (TM)

    If your avatar is your Mabs, Mabs is adorable.

  7. The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

    joanimal – yup, we all are indeed!😀

    Yes, that’s Mads in my avatar. She’s currently drinking from the kitchen tap, the wretch. (Water bowls? Why should I use those?)

    Your wife rescued a kitten from a raccoon? Damn right she’s a superhero!

  8. thank you to whoever posted the Dalek valentine – I sent it to my mom & she loved it!.

    Seconded! I posted it to my friend’s Facebook page, and she replied “Aww. Your unhappiness will be deleted”. This is why we’re friends.

  9. I can’t help but feel also that there is probably a big overlap in the kind of women who generally are either indifferent towards or not super obsessed with Valentine’s Day (or at least, not expecting diamonds or flowers or candy on that day) and the kinds of women MRAs deem “not a real woman”.

    I also can’t help but feel that this is another issue they’ve created out of a desire to not talk to their SO. If you find that you and your SO seem to be having conflicting views of what celebration of a day means, it might, you know, be a good idea to talk about that stuff. Or, even beforehand, like a mature adult. My beau and I got each other things (I sent him a homemade valentine with a bunch of reasons why I love him cut out of red and pink paper like confetti and he sent me some flowers) but we’d also talked about it beforehand – both of us iterating to each other that, yeah, doing something small-ish for each other on the day could be nice (especially since we couldn’t see each other till Friday), but that we’d promise ourselves and each other that we wouldn’t go overboard. And what do you know, it worked out really well! We were both very pleasantly surprised with each other’s little reminders of affection and neither one felt overly stressed or overly doted upon (ok, my beau confessed that he cried because he felt so loved and cared for, but I’m pretty sure he did not then feel obligated to the sexytimes we engaged in later).

    I feel like this giant MRA valentine’s whinge could just be solved by discussion, but, again, that would require recognizing your partner as a PARTNER, not just someone you gain access to via thoughtless, material gifts and not someone who’s words are not to be taken at face value.

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