How to score RED PILL ALPHA DOG points by harassing your waitress


PROTIP: After you use GAME to get a girl’s name, you can move forward to NAME GAME.

Now, some WEAK ASS BETA MANGINAS think that you shouldn’t deliberately annoy waitstaff  because, you know, they’re human beings like you and me simply trying to get through their work day, and why the fuck would you want to deliberately make their lives worse for no good reason, that sounds kind of pointlessly rude, I mean what the hell’s wrong with you? Heck, even I used to think that. But that was before I discovered the RED PILL subreddit.

That’s right, ALPHA DOGS, we’re returning to that wondrous place we first visited last month to learn some more TIGHT ASS GAME to use on the hot babes. Specifically, we’re going to be learning some TIGHT-ASS KNIFE GAME. No, I’m not talking about stabbing anyone, fellas, except maybe “stabbing” some hot young babe with your you-know-what later, if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge nudge?

(You do know what I mean, right?  By “you-know-what” I mean your penis, and I’m trying to suggest that if you master KNIFE GAME you may later have the opportunity to have consensual sexual intercourse with a young woman, which is something that someone might colloquially refer to as “stabbing” due to the regular thrusting of the penis into the vagina that is a central feature of coitus.)

Anyway, KNIFE GAME involves actual knives. DINNER KNIVES, whoooo!

I learned all about it from a cool Red Pill dude called ATowne who wrote up a totally ALPHA DOG FIELD REPORT for his RED PILL ALPHA BUDDIES about how he totally scored some points with some totally hot waitresses and like even got one of their NAMES!

Because waitresses love customers who take advantage of the leverage they have over them as customers to just fuck with them. And they especially love it when these customers are ALPHA DOG ASSHOLES trying to get into their PANTS. Because that is such a TOTALLY ORIGINAL MOVE as well as being ALPHA AS FUCK. Trust me, NO ONE HAS EVER DONE IT BEFORE. Except maybe a couple of these RED PILL ALPHA DOGS.

Unfortunately, some of ATowne’s BLUE PILL friends kept cock-blocking him and calling him a douche and apologizing to the waitresses for his behavior but it didn’t matter because it didn’t stop him from having this totally awesome INTERACTION WITH A WOMAN:

Cute waitress comes by and I decide to focus on her. She brings me a fork for my salad and I smile and say “no knife?” After a little back and forth she comes back with the knife and I get her name. A little while later I call her over, give her the knife and say “I don’t need it, I’m eating a salad.” She smiles at first, then looks frustrated and as she’s walking away “nice way to get my name…”

I’m the only one of the group who actually goes and talks to girls, so my life is the center of conversation almost always. They are talking about how I am an asshole, making the poor waitress take time out of her busy day to bring me a fucking knife. Are you serious? Anyway, cute waitress is ignoring my table and eye contact, but I can see her looking at my peripherally. I stop caring and talk to my friends and then catch her slipping while she’s walking because she was ‘looking away’ (directly where she was going) but peripherally looking at me. …

I see the cute waitress as I’m leaving and say “hey, don’t take the knife stuff personally.” She says “I know, I was kidding.” I follow up with “Okay, I’m ____, see you around.” Cringe.

Cringe, man, THAT IS totally fucking ALPHA!

Also, what kind of name is “____?” A totally fucking ALPHA name is all I know!

I found this wonderful RED PILL field report via the Blue Pill subreddit, which is sort of an awesome tribute to the RED PILL subreddit, though I am beginning to suspect that some of the people there do not fully understand the totally BADASS nature of the RED PILL PHILOSOPHY.

EDITED TO ADD: I forgot about this TOTALLY RAD scene from the movie “Made” in which ALPHA DOG Vince Vaughn demonstrates some ALPHA MOVES with a flight attendent who is obviously totally into him. Watch and learn, beta fools!

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon,, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on June 6, 2013, in alpha males, are these guys 12 years old?, bad boys, beta males, creepy, douchebaggery, field report, I am making a joke, I'm totally being sarcastic, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, penises, PUA, red pill, reddit, sexual harassment and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 291 Comments.

  1. Well, if they’re anything like the boar in Europe I’m guessing that “tasty” might have been part of the thought process. I’m not sure how edible whatever was left would be after you fired an assault rifle at them though.

    As much as would be left if you fired a non-assault rifle at them. The term has to do with intended purpose (killing people in armed conflict, at close range). The round from an AK-47 series rifle isn’t all that powerful (for the size of of bullet it discharges), which is part of why it became so popular, it was less trouble to shoot, because it had less recoil (every action has an equal and opposite reaction).

    Using an AR-15 on boar is stupid, you’d have to hit it half a dozen times to stop it (they are stubborn, and the AR-15 family is notoriously underpowered, in some ways, even for killing people. Context is a funny thing).

    Going after boar with an AK is also stupid. The aren’t accurate enough to make me happy with the odds.

    I’d alto refuse to go after one with anything but a semi-automatic rifle. They are big, mean, tough and react to being attacked by rushing the attacker. Boar hunts (prior to gunpowder) were multi-person events, and the spears had cross-bars to keep the boar from running up the shaft and gutting the hunter (the crossbars were on rings, so they could move some, lest the shaft be snapped; and the hunter killed).

    There are more than a few stories of murders committed by weakening boar spears.

  2. As far as guns are concerned, it’s common knowledge among gun enthusiasts that the AK47 is the most reliable gun in production.

    I, as a person of moderate expertise with firearms (been shooting for about 40 years, and was a unit armorer in the US Army), disagree.

    It is tolerant of lots of abuse. It’s simple to assemble, and (relatively) easy to maintain. The trade off is that it’s not all that accurate.

    It’s a mediocre weapon in the fully auto mode (though, to be honest, all rifles suffer from this; not enough mass to compensate for the effects of additive recoil).

  3. It sounds like a big part of the problem was that the judge failed to inform the jury that they had the option of finding the defendant guilty of manslaughter, a lesser charge. It’s unclear to me whether that was also a failure on the part of the prosecution to insist on that instruction. Without that instruction, if the jury could not agree on homicide, they had nowhere to fall back.

  4. Kitteh’s and Unimaginative: Yes, it’s still Perry, and I think evil is a prerequisite for the job. Hopefully people will remember how incredibly stupid he was when he ran for president and boot his hairdo out of office.

  5. He made a complete buffoon out of himself then, didn’t he? It was a real question of which Rethuglican candidate was the biggest fool.

  6. So, I told my mother about the case when she asked why I was asking about the legality of AK’s…sit down and swallow for this.

    Well it is theft.

    Of an illegal service.

    But she stole his money.

    He shot her, instead of pressin theft charges.

    At which point I walked away before I lost it. Liberal New England…can I get that airlift too?

  7. Money more important than someone’s life, yup, there it is, the American Dream.

    Prolly the Australian one too, not far under the surface.

  8. @Pecunium: Very true that the AK is less accurate. However, it’s simple to use, very tolerant of abuse and I’ve yet to have one jam up on me. I can’t say as much for the other firearms I’ve had experience with. And that’s really the point of it. It was designed so that just about anyone could use it successfully and not fail under stress or in bad conditions.

    It was also designed to be underpowered and to be used for combat under 400 meters. It was the post WW2 answer to the Sturmgewehr 44. For accuracy and power, I’d definitely choose something else, but for reliability, I’ll take the Kalashnikov any day. It’s going to fire every time.

    Then again, most rifles don’t impress me that much anymore in the power department.

  9. Nova: I know all about it. As a professional user of firearms, I’m not impressed. It fires reliably. It doesn’t hit the target reliably. Of the various battle rifles I’ve fired, the most reliable in the, “doesn’t jam, hits the target dept. is either the M-14, or the M-1 (the latter is probably a better rifle, easier to maintain, lighter ammo, same ballistics, won’t bite your thumb if you load it clumsily, and no “ping” when out of ammo).

    I’ve never had one of those fail on me, which includes some field time (where they were old M-14s, used in the, “unit sharpshooter” role, and in service with the US Army since the 1960s, though they had been rebarrelled)

    But the M-14 came out in a transitional period, and the AR family replaced it (which was six kinds of problematic, for different reason. It’s easy to maintain (and easier/faster to field strip and reassemble than the AK), but is more finicky about being cleaned; and the wrong powder will cause it to jam.
    I have had AKs fail (admittedly those AKs had seen more abuse than any you were likely to see, having been in service with the Ukranian Army for about 25 years when I got to use them. For all I know they are still in service)

    I also dislike the structure, and operation, of the safety. It’s loud. It’s stiff, and the first position is Auto, which is, in my professional opinion, poor design.

    The AK isn’t designed to be, “underpowered”, it’s designed to perform in a very limited envelope, in a fairly clumsy manner (i.e. supplied to poorly trained troops, fielded en masse, with masses of ammo making up for lousy sights, inconsistent points of impact and marginal accuracy), and at close ranges.

    Numbers over function. That was it’s point. In that role, it functions adequately. But in anything less than mass use, it is, IMO, a poor choice. Tuning it enough to bring the level of accuracy up to moderately decent (2″ at 100m) is expensive, and removes the, “abuse it and use it” qualities.

    I don’t think it has any good application in non-military roles, and I don’t like the philosophical choices it implies, in the military role (i.e. troops as cannon fodder).

  10. I find it hilarious that that pathetic interaction, in which he made a waitress dislike him, is what he’s got to brg about.

  11. What I find baffling about all this talk of alphas is that I’ve met a pretty wide cross section of people in my day, but the ones who win the multiple partner olympics are NOT “alpha” males. Not even close. In fact, they’re the ones that the “alphas” would probably call metros or f*gs.

    I would say that “alpha” males are smack dab in the middle of the normal distribution when it comes to number of sexual partners. (Which, last time I checked, wasn’t awfully high… something under 10, iirc). What I’m guessing they mean is that meathead dudes are more confident in approaching sorority girl types. Which, duuhh… why would a shy, bookish/nerdy/timid guy even want to be in the same room with your stereotypical female meathead? I mean, after the sex things would get dull fast as it would became abundantly clear that the two had nothing in common and no real chemistry.

    What would cure these “alpha”-wannabes would be a nice string of exactly the kind of hookups they *think* they want.

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