At A Voice for Men, dead baby jokes are a form of “men’s human rights activism.”

Just because it's you baby doesn't mean it's your trash. Don't be that girl.

Men’s Rights “humor” at its finest.

The self-described ‘Men’s Human Rights Activists” at A Voice for Men have shown time and time again that they have approximately zero interest in actually promoting human rights, but would rather devote their time (and the more than $100,000 the site collects in donations annually) to attacking feminists and women in general.

The latest bit of evidence? The “meme” above, designed not to actually raise awareness of child abandonment but as a sort of “gotcha” aimed at one of their favorite targets, the “Don’t Be That Guy” anti-rape campaign that has been credited with significantly bringing down the incidence of rape in at least one major Canadian city.

AVFM’s Paul Elam introduces the “meme” with this little bit of vitriol:

For those unfortunates who did not get the memo that the Don’t be That Guy meme campaign was offensive because it painted all men as potential rapists, then perhaps this meme will drive that point home. Remember, Don’t be That Hypocrite.

If we pretend for a moment that AVFM’s meme is intended to address a real social problem — child abandonment — do Elam’s claims of hypocrisy make any sense?

Rape is widespread; roughly 1 in 5 women are sexually assaulted at some point in their lives. Men (outside of jail) also face the risk of rape, mostly from other men, though the numbers are much lower; the “Don’t Be That Guy” campaign addressed that issue as well. (Incarcerated men  — and women — face a much higher risk of rape, at least in the United States, where prison rape is treated as a joke; LGBT prisoners are disproportionately targeted.) Most rape victims know their attackers, making the “date rape” focus of the awareness campaign doubly appropriate. RAINN reports that there are more than 200,000 victims of sexual assault in the US every year.

While the number of rapes is obviously higher than the number of rapists, there’s still a tremendous number of rapists in the general population — and a lot of people who witness rapey behavior, and who might be inspired by the “Don’t Be That Guy” campaign to step up and step in to stop it.

Child abandonment, while horrific, is not widespread. While solid data on the actual number of babies abandoned is scanty, the numbers reported tend to be in the hundreds, not the hundreds of thousands, per year. One 2011 story in the New York Times, for example, noted that 63 babies were abandoned illegally in Illinois over the previous ten years. One article I found on the Columbia Journalism School website cited “an unpublished 1999 report by the Department of Health and Human Services [that] found that 108 infants were abandoned in 1998 out of 4 million births.”

In any case, anyone who was truly interested in reducing the numbers of babies illegally abandoned, quite possibly leading to their deaths, would have provided information about “safe haven” laws (which exist in all 50 states in the US) that allow parents to legally give up their babies while ensuring that they will be cared for.

Rape is a crime of entitlement; child abandonment is a crime of desperation. Providing young mothers who are feeling overwhelmed to the point of panic about an alternative to dumping their baby illegally seems a somewhat more sensible approach than shaming them. AVFM’s meme graphic of course provides no such information.

That’s no surprise. As Elam’s intro makes clear, he and his fellow “Human Rights Activists” don’t actually give a shit about abandoned babies. The comments about this new meme are, well, instructive in this regard. For most of the commenters, it seems, this dead baby joke of a graphic is a most hilarious form of human rights activism.

Some selections from the comments:


And apparently only the thought of me “twisting” their words kept some of them from making even more blatant dead baby jokes.


Truly the most important Human Rights Movement of the 21st Century.

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon,, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on October 28, 2013, in a voice for men, a woman is always to blame, antifeminism, are these guys 12 years old?, artistry, attention seeking, creepy, evil single moms, evil women, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, paul elam, shaming tactics, taking pleasure in women's pain, that's not funny! and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 435 Comments.

  1. Ears like a bat and the voice of the banshee, typical Oriental cat, that boy!🙂

    This feller (called Bela!) is quite like him:

  2. STIR FRY oh dear!😀

  3. he’s beautiful kitteh, did you know the breed? almost looks havana, but not brown…

  4. He was an Oriental Black, as far as I knew. No idea whether he was purebred, but that breed certainly predominated. He was a lovely boy, though; I wish I’d had time to meet him again (I was with him for a few weeks flat-sitting). If you Google “Oriental black” the images that come up are just like him.

  5. Gentlefolk, I give you… Thumotic!

    Wow. Reading their site gave me a headache. The first post is about Sexual Market Value. You would think someone with such an academic background could grasp a concept as simple as the difference between objective and subjective to realize that making a graph determining value does not make it accurate to how sexuality plays out in reality and is certainly not something to be used to make generalizations about evolutionary mechanics at work in society.

    I love how the post starts off with a valid critique of how the graph isn’t actually measuring anything substantial by PZ Meyers and the blog writer admits to being ignorant of him and yet calls him a Young Earth Creationist or a Scientologist and rags on his wrongly perceived scientific beliefs without directly rebuffing his critique. Goes to show that having a strong academic education and background does not necessarily make you intelligent.

  6. Death&Destruction

    Sounds more like an anti-abortion thing. Whether or not you agree, this doesn’t look like a joke to me. You’re just labeling that because you don’t want to deal with the message.

  7. I love how the post starts off with a valid critique of how the graph isn’t actually measuring anything substantial by PZ Meyers and the blog writer admits to being ignorant of him and yet calls him a Young Earth Creationist or a Scientologist and rags on his wrongly perceived scientific beliefs without directly rebuffing his critique.

    In the comments he passes this off as being intentional, i.e. he knew who Myers is, and so decided to twit him in a way he thinks will be cutting.

    Didn’t work.

  8. Stop taking things out of context, you fat loser! That dumpster pic’s about abortion, which is pandemic in the Western world, not ‘childhood abandonment’. I know you have no soul, but just think about the little babies inside their mothers’ wombs, waiting to develop fully and get to live in this wonderful world, who suddenly get stabbed with syringes until they die, yanked out, and thrown away. We have no idea when ‘consciousness’ comes into existence, or when someone is ‘fully human’. You’re pretty good evidence that time alone can’t make someone conscious. So if we’re gonna prevent murder, we may as well prevent the murders of these absolutely defenseless babies. Because they’re just as human as you are. Or we could just legalize murder everytime someone else inconveniences someone, since that is literally the the number 1 reason women get abortions, but you’d probably have a tough time in that world, considering that everyone’s been inconvenienced by fat fucks, especially on airplanes.

  9. Jackson, we know you and Ulrich are the same person. You might as well use the same handle.

  10. Jackson is indeed Ulrich. I let his comments through mainly for their entertainment value. I’ve already got him on moderation, and he could easily turn that into a ban.

  11. Meh. I guess technically he’s in violation because he used two different handles, but he doesn’t seem unbearably heinous at the moment, to me.

  12. I like how he put child abandonment in quotes like it’s not a real problem, compared to those very real fully developed babies who are aborted.

  13. cassandrakitty

    Is this that thing where fetuses are worth saving because they’re “innocent” but once they’re born they’re evil little potential sinners so who cares again?

  14. Fat-phobic, misogynistic anti-choicers sure do improve the image of the “””MHRM.”””

  15. He seems to be more in favor of murdering adults than aborting fetuses, which is an interesting position. And shared by many of his anti-abortion fellow travelers.

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