Red Piller: “Training a loyal, well-behaved dog isn’t much different than training a loyal, well-behaved girlfriend/plate/FWB. “

How to totally score with the babes.

How to totally score with the babes.

Over on the Red Pill Subreddit — where manly ALPHA MALES trade tips on how to totally dominate the ladies with their awesome ALPHATUDE — one enterprising fellow has a suggestion for aspiring lady-dominators: take a tip or two from professional dog trainers and treat your bitch like a bitch!

TRPsubmitter, an official Red Pill Subreddit Endorsed Contributor, explains how you can use the magic of Operant Conditioning to train your gal:

Training a loyal, well-behaved dog isn’t much different than training a loyal, well-behaved girlfriend/plate/FWB. Both substrates (dogs, women) have innate submissive/obedient tendencies that should be emphasized along with unwanted behaviors to be diminished and punished. If you know anything about dogs, you know that many “incidents” are often the fault of the owner failing to provide a proper outlet for a dog’s energy or natural predispositions.

Women have natural predispositions too: Attention-seeking, curious, emotional, irrational, solipsistic, unable to constructively deal with stress/criticism, likes to blame others, etc. Almost all of these can be subjected to a combination of operant conditioning.

Yeah, that pretty much describes all possible predispositions women might have. Because women are terrible!

Anyhoo, operant conditioning is all about rewarding or punishing behaviors after the fact as a way of encouraging or discouraging these behaviors. It’s easy to understand how that might work if your dog poops on your rug. But how might that work with your girlfriend/plate/FWB? Also, what the fuck is a “plate?” TRPsubmitter only answers the former question, alas. But he does so with some very helpful and completely realistic examples:

Problem: Some girl you’re sleeping with is getting uppity. You’ve had sex with her before several times…but this time she has arbitrarily decided to give LMR.

That’s Last Minute Resistance. In other words, she said “no,” and you don’t want to respect that “no.”

Analyze reason:

1) She may be trying to shift the power dynamic in her favor; too much “Sex & the city” lately or she had a girl’s night out and her hamster is all powered up for a confrontation now.

Yes. That’s probably right. I’m not sure why watching reruns of a show that was cancelled nearly a decade ago would cause a woman to not want sex, but this dude is an ALPHA so he must know. Does watching old episodes of Friends — which also went off the air in 2004 — have the same effect?

2) She may be trying to retroactively reclassify you as her beta provider or “bf material” by making you work for it or by not being as sexually available all of a sudden.

Or maybe she just doesn’t want to have sex?

3) She has been “thinking alot lately” about her future; she is insecure suddenly about the unique nature of your sexual relationship.

Or maybe she just doesn’t want to have sex? Like, ALOT?


No matter! For there is a SOLUTION!

Operant conditioning:

Positive reinforcement – Provide affection or recognition of her worth as a woman IF sex occurs.

Wait. Provide affection during and/or after sex? Sounds bizarre. But so bizarre it just might work!

Positive punishment – Provide active punishment. Tell her to GTFO or smoothly tell her that she can “rest a bit while I get some stuff done”, then leave her sitting on the bed alone.

Acting like a petulant child: the best way to show her you’re THE MAN.

Negative reinforcement – Remove active punishment. Be the bad boy that she wants to prove herself too. You’re not giving her validation from the onset and she is wondering “WHY?!”. Make her earn it and only remove this lack of attention if she does what you want. Maybe you’re both at a bar instead. Proceed to freely & cheerfully interact with other girls in front of her and stop this only if she does what you want (I think this one is best applied in the pickup phase).

Uh, I thought in this scenario you were about to have sex with her and she said no. Why are we at a bar now? Where is this bar?

Negative punishment – Remove active reward. You’re making out on the couch. She makes comment “not tonight”. Give her the cold shoulder. Proceed to remove all affection, attention or “bf-like behaviors”.

Then march off to your room, shouting “you’re not the boss of me! I wish I never was born!” Slam the door and sulk.

Who knew being an ALPHA was so much like being an emo teen?

Happily, TRPsubmitter got a lot of positive reinforcement for his post. Good alpha dog! ComplainyGuy — apparently speaking for many, given the several dozen upvotes he got — wrote enthusiastically:

THIS is a fucking great example of how we should be talking about women.

Bad: “Women have no value to anybody ever. Totally glad her mum died fuck bitches. Pffft I wish we still had chains and whips” (I have seen all these comments on here in the last week)

 good:”Women have natural predispositions too: Attention-seeking, curious, emotional, irrational, solipsistic, unable to constructively deal with stress/criticism, likes to blame others, etc”

The difference? The first is angsty, immature males who bring down the quality of this subreddit.

The second is a man observing, from a mature, Self-confident, perspective, the real nature of gender dynamics.

Wow. So treating women like dogs is apparently a big step up for the Red Pillers.

(Thanks to mrsamsa in the Blue Pill subreddit for pointing me to this wondrous Red Pill fuckery.)

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon,, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on October 31, 2013, in alpha males, are these guys 12 years old?, bad boys, citation needed, creepy, dozens of upvotes, drama kings, emotional abuse, entitled babies, I'm totally being sarcastic, irony alert, it's science!, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, PUA, red pill, reddit, the enigma that is ladies and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 167 Comments.

  1. Seriously, the closest to inconsistent you can get away with is stuff like puff’s food bearing pipette also does water draws and I don’t mind him begging for it to release it’s precious cargo (yeah, he’s spoiled, but he’s got a 30g tank to himself, and he’s a spoiled fish, begging is cute when all they can do is give fishie puppy dog eyes [puffs really are like puppies, it’s so cute])

    And that little part poodle puppy was damned smart about this. Ouch that hurt! When, and only when, he bit too hard and wasn’t playing rough but being ouchies. He learned how hard he could nibble on my fingers without hurting me, and only did it to my fingers (see, I’d been a pacifier of sorts before he got teeth, so if he still wanted his comfort finger and wasn’t hurting me, and wasn’t doing it to anyone else…whatever, I’m not using my left hand right now anyways) but again, his begging consistent end of sitting there looking extra cute.

    My father’s dog? Jumps up for food and gets “oh, you want a treat? Here you go” with my brother and I both yelling that he’s only encouraging the dog to jump on plates. Dumb dog, dumber owner.

  2. hellkell: Self-entitled

    Where did this linguistic abomination originate? Every time I see it it’s like nails down a chalkboard.

    Like there’s any other way to be entitled. This right up there with “irregardless” for me.

    I’d say there are group entitlements.

    But yesterday I saw a horrid locution, “highly impervious”.

  3. Highly impervious? But…but…impervious is a binary state!!

    And I use irregardless. As in “irregardless, I disagree” = “you’re right, and I’m cranky about it”

  4. SittieKitty: Apropos of nothing, does anyone know where the notches on the bedpost phrase came from? I’m wondering if it was actually ever a thing…

    No. Not as such. But for ages (millennia, it seems)the use of, tally sticks to keep track of numerical/monetary transactions (and other things (more on tally sticks)

    They were an interesting way of dealing with several things; but be warned, if you start trying to research them you will run into serious gold-buggism.

    But the basic idea is that one recorded information (usually quantities of things) by scoring notches on “sticks”. This is how England kept track of taxation up until the 19th century (and the money owed on those tallies was used to finance the Bank of England; as well as the tallies themselves being used as a form of fixed rate bond/not quite floating currency, from at least the 14th century, but I digress).

  5. Idk, I’ve found a good “no” or “ouch” to discourage behavior in humans and poodles, and the former are pretty bright. They do, however, need to already care if they are pleasing you, such that “I am displeased” is nearly punishment on its own.

  6. Err…the latter are pretty bright. Duh humans tend to be bright, we’re the standard for comparison!

  7. Argenti: Those aren’t (in operant conditioning terms) punishments. They are a form of feedback, and feedback is useful, but they aren’t (+/- P).

    And the ways in which OC uses the term punishment/reward get sort of convolute/counterintuitive.

  8. Ok, yeah, hose are negative feedback, not punishment. I’m pre-coffee, and you’ve seen me pre-coffee >.<

  9. But yesterday I saw a horrid locution, “highly impervious”.

    I… I think I just felt my shredded soul finally give in and die.

  10. Death&Destruction

    I don’t see anything wrong with what this red piller said. You just don’t like it because it’s mean?

  11. Nah, we just think women are human beings.

  12. I don’t see anything wrong with what this red piller said. You just don’t like it because it’s mean?

    Leaving aside, for the moment, how facile this oversimplification is… I’m pretty sure “your suggested mode of human interaction is needlessly cruel” is fine reason to reject that suggested mode of human interaction. Since when is not wanting to be mean to people a bad thing?

  13. Also, this just goes to show this guy knows dick-all about training a dog. It’s nowhere near as simple as that, because you never know what connection the dog’s mind will make. Even something as simple as trying to punish them for crapping on the rug can go horribly wrong, because if you don’t catch them actually in the act, they think they’re being punished for you *finding* the turd, not that they did it inside, so all you’ll teach them to do is crap in corners or eat it afterward.

  14. Binjabreel: Yeah. I have an ex who has horses. When we were training Sienna (her mother’s horse, now sadly deceased), to bow she decided we really wanted her to nip her flank.

    Oi… took months to untrain that. She started to really chomp herself, trying to figure out what it took to get a treat for it.

  15. Lol, I never did get the poodle puppy to roll over. He’d get on his back and then stare at me until I caved and gave belly rubs…or then roll back the way he came. Puppy brain says “how do I get petted? I know, I’ll be adorable!”

    And puff has taken to nipping the pipette before the food comes out like he has to nibble to to make the food come out. This may be a hard one to break as once he sees it he’s faster than me and I don’t want to release food until I have his attention because puffers are notorious messy eaters.

  16. Lol, his reaction to snails is…interesting. You ever see a puffer eat a snail? They circle it before going for the kill. But then, because he ignores the bottom of the tank and eats them off the glass, they fall, hit the bottom, and rot with him disinterested.

    I do need to get that damned brine shrimp hatchery set up though. He’ll go absolutely off the walls glass for live brine shrimp, they’re his favorite food.

  17. Uninterested! Disinterested means impartial.

  18. Ok, the lovely woman who is planning to spermjack me, break my heart and live off me like a saprophyte on a log is sick, and needs cuddles, so I am for bed.

  19. This is a dwarf puffer, my little guy is a green spotted, but it’s the same hunting style —

    (And you probably thought you were being all cunning evil suggesting live prey! My baby cories are in the tank I have set up to breed him snails)

  20. Oh fine, uninterested.

    Pecunium — tell her I hope she feels better soon, and will totally spoil that kid if she spermjacks you🙂

  21. @pecunium: gah, that’s horrid. The poor thing.

    But it makes me think of a project we did to replicate an old Skinner experiment about superstitions: we set up a random-timed reward structure then just left the rats in the boxes for a few hours. The stuff they convinced themselves they had to do to get the treat… Oi.

    I’ve never felt like as much of a monster as I did watching this rat turn four times counter clockwise then twice clockwise, over and over again, because it thought that’s what got it the food. Ugh.

  22. And since I’m scarred just rereading that, I figure I should add that the point of the lesson was for us to know how impossible it was to get the behavior to stop, and to depress the shit out of us in a, “warning us we can do real damage” sort of way. Also, all the rats found loving homes afterward, because they’re adorable.

  23. Binjabreel: It wasn’t too bad. 1: She only did it when we were there, and 2: once we spotted it we never reinforced the behavior.

    So a bit of corrective training (resetting the cue) and all was well.

  24. I’m guessing Binjabreel was referring to the rats, because poor ratties stuck going in circles!

    I’m glad they found homes, I’m rather fond of rodents. Would totally have a pet rat but my brother and I had pet mice as kids and his wasn’t a girl but an immature male…”mom! There are baby mice” “if I come up there and you’re lying, I’ll kill you both” “*crickets*” “…shit”

    Yeah, no more rodents for us.

  25. argenti: I think she meant Sienna, since it was directed to me, and I’d not talked about any other animal.

  26. Oh, the first comment, I thought you meant the second. That’s what I get for having a CSS issue (see, I know CSS well, when I have to think about why it isn’t working, I end up digging into stack overflow cuz it isn’t ever a simple problem [except typos, but those are easy to sort out])

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 17,150 other followers

%d bloggers like this: