Omegle perv: Send me BEWBZ or I might just have to kill myself

So I’ve been poking around the CreepyPM’s subreddit again — it’s a place where people, mostly women, post screenshots of the creepy private messages they’ve gotten from anonymous weirdos — and I ran across this doozy from Omegle, an online chat program that links up random strangers.

This bit of passive-aggressive, cut-and-paste pervery was one anonymous fellow’s opening conversational salvo. (Click on the pic to see a larger, more readable version.)

Hey - ASKING FOR BOOBZ DOES NOT MAKE ME A FUCKING PERV! Im just having a really crap week (my grandma died) and I want a girl to be adventurous and sweet enough to show me her boobz. I DON'T want a slut, and I'm NOT horny, I just want a girl who is cool enough to try that and make me feel happier - its the effort thats important. Plus girls say I'm cute and I have abs. So DON'T add me if you won't send it! And im feeling really suicidal, so being a bitch will only make things worse :( - Im 18 Male from London, and here's my kik:

Now, I’m no psychiatrist, but as someone who’s suffered from depression, I’m pretty sure that guilt-tripping random women on the internet into sending you pictures of their BOOBZ isn’t going to actually help to cure this depression.

But the fact is, this guy isn’t actually suicidal. He’s just made that bit up in order to con women — and evidently some underage girls — into showing him their tits.

How do I know? Because. as a couple of the regulars in the CreepyPMs subreddit have pointed out, he’s done this before, apparently many times, with the same sob story about “having a really crap week (my grandma died).” So either he’s lost several dozen grandmothers in the past couple of years or he’s lying. I’m going to go with the latter explanation. Occam’s razor and all.

So congratulations, dude, you’ve managed to define a new low in shitty online pervery. From now on, people will forever measured by your yardstick. As in, “well, that’s guy’s pretty pervy, but he’s not quit as pervy as the guy who pretended to be suicidal on Omegle to get girls to show him their tits.”

About David Futrelle

I run the blog We Hunted the Mammoth, which tracks (and mocks) online misogyny. My writing has appeared in a wide variety of places, including Salon,, the Washington Post, the New York Times Book Review and Money magazine. I like cats.

Posted on February 1, 2014, in boobs, douchebaggery, entitled babies, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, narcissism, pedophiles oh sorry ephebophiles, reddit and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 235 Comments.

  1. @LBT: the only thing to think about with statistics is that they are a way of telling a story, and in particularly summarising the key parts. Everything else is just detail.🙂

  2. RE: Kittehs

    Honestly, it was such a hassle even getting it started that I just gave it up. I don’t need a stupid little icon THAT badly.

    RE: Kiwi Girl

    Huh. I never thought of it that way. I’ll try to keep it in mind.

  3. Stupid wordpress!

  4. LBT, woot! Since Falconer called red, can I be blue?
    More seriously, sorry about everyone’s health care difficulties. Don’t get the ‘let them die’ mentality, especially when so many proponents claim to be compassionate.😦

  5. I forgot to add earlier, I liked pecunium’s boobie photos. Feeling sorry for them now I looked up the name on wikipedia to find its origin.

  6. Pecunium, did you take those photos?

  7. emilygoddess: Yes, I did. That’s my flickr stream, and all the work on it is mine. Those are from a trio to Galapagos in 2007.

  8. I’m immensely jealous of people who’ve been to the Galapagos.

  9. a trip… not a trio.

  10. RE: Skye

    You can totally be blue. I’ll happily be green or whatever.

  11. Oh my! Pecunium, those boobie photos are AMAZING! I’m completely in awe…

    You haven’t happened to take any pictures of tits on any trips to Europe, have you? I’m particularly fond of the bearded tit, but the blue is also pretty darned cute.

  12. Hey! I see sounds and it has nothing to do with the large amounts of coffee!

    Hi ContraPangloss🙂

    And yep, if I had to have sex with someone from here it’d be more like: ehh, this isn’t gonna work, wanna watch some Doctor Who? Or a movie or something?

    Also, everything is covered in cold white stuff and it’s still snowing. I refuse to get out of bed, someone deliver me coffee and I’ll think about moving (ok, in reality the 55g tank needs water to the point the filter is splashing and that noise will make me want to pull my eyes out, so yeah, I’ll get up…in a bit…probably)

  13. ContraPangloss:

    Hi there!


    Sorry if this has been covered before, but my memory can be horrid sometimes. You said you see sounds, am I correct in thinking synesthesia? I actually know a few people who have that, and I personally find it fascinating, though I can see where it is frustrating for some folks who have it. To the best of my understanding, it affects individuals differently, but in general terms it’s a crossing of the senses, so hearing a tone may invoke a color.

  14. AIT — bingo. By and large it’s just another sense to ignore if not relevant, so, f’ex, the normal noises of the fish tanks don’t really register as background noise or background, uh, texture almost? We’ll go with color, it’s easier to understand (unless you’ve done acid, in which case it’s sorta like that but makes sense). Makes for weird music tastes though, since so much of it just looks like noise and makes me go meh. Otoh, Emilie. Fucking. Autumn. I could probably sprain an eye muscle if I tried watching everything going on in her music. And sometimes it gets annoying, usually the same way some random noise gets annoying as a noise (e.g. there are snail shells in puff’s filter again, the grinding sound is getting on my nerves), and there’s That Tone, the one that makes me want to puncture my eardrums because it’s, hmm, a bit like snow blindness, but painfully so? Unfortunately it turns out Pecunium smoke detector is That Tone!

    All in all, it’s pretty much like any other sense really. And now I have a filter to go poke snail shells out of and a fish to scold for not finishing his dinner! (Ok, not really scold, cuz if I wag a finger at him he’ll think it’s play time. Also, he’s probably asleep behind a rock anyways)

  15. Awesome. Thanks for explaining! Meeting more people who can explain their synesthesia to me is actually helpful for me in a way. Unfortunately, the first person to introduce me to it was my abusive ex, and re-associating synethesia with other people besides zir is another step toward healing, I think. One of my closest friends here has a synesthesia where voices take on fonts in zir mind.

    Being able to watch what’s going on in the music, though… I’d love to be able to hear music through your perspective.

    Also, am I using zie/zir correctly here? Zir being the posessive/objective, and zie being nominative?

  16. I should add that I can’t remember now if it was you or someone else who’d mentioned preferring zie/zir on here, and if that wasn’t you, well…

    Distraction cat!

  17. Okay this’ll probably sound corny as hell, but d’you reckon seeing music was the idea with the Toccata and Fugue in D Minor sequence in Fantasia? (The original Fantasia, that is.)

  18. Idk? I know EA seeing colors too and I am SURE her music does it on purpose. Actually, it’s almost a footnote in her book, discovering that most people don’t see sounds…for folks like us it really just another sense. (I got told as a kid that music doesn’t have a shape, wtf am I talking about? and thus learned to shut my mouth…psych major and OH HEY IT HAS A NAME and yeah)

    AIT — that was me, yes. And you’ve got the grammar right. Though…you know any other languages? Preferably with some knowledge of linguistics? I prefer ze, no i, because they sound the same and language inherently evolves to drop such unneeded letters (4 fucking years of Latin change how you see language) but zie works just fine and seems to be the norm, so whatever.

  19. Also, PAWS!!

    Lol, the former roommate’s puppy didn’t learn to “shake” he learned “paws” cuz I say “pause” the same as “paws” so he’d offer my paws whenever I yelled at the computer to pause. T’was adorable!

  20. But all those new terms are longer than the old words!

  21. So? If they’re easier why would the character count matter? (Unless twitter or text of course!)

  22. zie is a bit confusing, i thought at first it rhymed with pie, btw wouldn’t zee be the easiest spelling( if i am correct in that it should rhyme with bee), the spelling ze I would think of pronouncing like (tonal s + schwa)

  23. Argenti: Yeah, I know Chinese, which doesn’t help much in this case, though there is the fact they now have simplified characters versus traditional, where 聲音 becomes 声音。I definitely have a different perspective on language after studying Chinese. I absolutely hate their writing system, since it’s not syllable based.

  24. Talacaris — to a non-native speaker you might be right (and, iirc, you aren’t a native speaker?)

    AIT — yeah I tried Japanese and just couldn’t deal with kanji, I hear you on that syllable thing!

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