Category Archives: I am making a joke

Search Term Extravaganza Part 2: All Your Questions Answered!

The Searchers: Scanning the horizon for signs of "airport lesbians."

The Searchers: Scanning the horizon for signs of “airport lesbians.”

Looking through the search terms people have used to get to my blog, I can’t help but feel a little sad, even a tiny bit guilty.

Clearly the searchers who came to Man Boobz looking for information about “airport lesbians” or “sexual spanking in animal kingdom” or even “all metaphors of bread” were likely to be a bit disappointed when they got here and discovered what the blog was really about. I’ve written about this once before.

But today, as a sort of public service, I’d like to see if I can help out some of the hapless searchers who’ve come to Man Boobz by providing answers to, or at least some sort of opinions about, their more puzzling queries. Just so you know, these are all real. I’ve left out the most perverse ones.

Read the rest of this entry

MRAs agree: Female humans deadlier, cuter than males

Females: They may LOOK innocent, but SCIENCE knows better!

Females: They may LOOK innocent, but SCIENCE knows better!

The Man Boobz Pledge Drive continues! If you haven’t already, please consider clicking the little button below and sending some bucks my way.

Thanks! (And thanks again to all who’ve already donated.) Now back to our regularly scheduled programming:

Some important information about females straight from the Men’s Rights subreddit:

Merari01 2 points 3 days ago (6|4)  As with any species, the female is more vicious, ruthless and agressive than the male.      permalink     source     parent     save     give gold     hide child comments  [–]oneiorosgrip 7 points 3 days ago (9|2)  Yes, and female humans have the added advantage of both a physical appearance and a social structure that facilitate female aggression by eclipsing it with the appearance or presumption of harmlessness.

I can vouch for this first-hand. I live with two females, and trust me, they can get away with anything just by giving me a look with those big round eyes of theirs — from scratching up the furniture to pooping outside the box to …

Oh, wait. We’re not talking about kitties?

Oh, female humans.

Anyway, one of the saddest things about this little exchange is that oneiorosgrip is herself a female human. Indeed, she’s actually Hannah Wallen, aka Della Burton, one of A Voice for Men’s so-called Honey Badgers. Yet she’s apparently so alienated from her own gender (and possibly her species) that she refers to her fellow women as “female humans” rather than, you know, women.

Note: Thanks to the AgainstMensRights subreddit for finding this lovely and enlightening exchange.

Videos to get you PUMPED. Also, a creepshaming manifesto from the Men’s Rights subreddit.

Today I feel an irresistible urge to post music videos. Above, an awesome interpretation of a rock classic that is sure to get you PUMPED for the weekend.

Below, enjoy the silky voice of Phil Collins.

Read the rest of this entry

A Voice for Men responds to Jaclyn Friedman’s takedown of the Men’s Rights movement with fart, fat, rape jokes

So A Voice for Men has finally responded to Jaclyn Friedman’s masterful takedown of the Men’s Rights movement:

No, sorry, my mistake. AVFM didn’t respond to her article by farting. It responded with an article accusing her of farting. No, really.

In an article with the fart-referencing title “Gone with Jaclyn’s wind,” AVFM “Honey Badger” Diana Davison tries to rebut Friedman with some really, really strained fart metaphors:

Read the rest of this entry

Men’s Rights Redditor: When the feminist utopia comes, male feminists “will possibly [be] used for breeding and then fed to sharks.”

At least let me be eaten by oe of these.

At least let me be eaten by one of these.

Today I learned something from the Men’s Rights subreddit that’s, honestly, a little disturbing. In a topic with the title David Futrelle seriously needs help, I found the following exchange:

EvilPundit 7 points 2 days ago* (10|3)  Like Hugo Schwyzer, Futrelle is exploiting his position as the feminists' "trusty". He's a man who can be counted on to dish up dirt against other men, so he gets quoted by feminist media, invited to parties with the right people, and so on.  He probably thinks they're his friends, but wait until he steps just one millimetre out of line ...      permalink     source     save     give gold     hide child comments  [–]Alisdair_ 0 points 2 days ago (8|8)  I think it foreshadows what will happen if feminists get their way with the human race. When feminist utopia comes and men are living in slums outside of the city walls the men who just pillage and slaughter other men will be lauded and taken in to be treated very warmly, possibly used for breeding and then fed to sharks. Some even outright say these things, but you see most of their actions foreshadow the same kinds of wishes.

Ulp! I just signed up for the parties and the breeding. I didn’t know about the sharks.

Elsewhere in the thread, Alisdair writes of me:

I get the feeling that this is just one of those guys, frequently held in high esteem with the feminists, who basically want every man out there cuckolded. With the alpha cock and all of that.

He’s pretty much nailed it. Here’s my to-do list for today.

  1. Write blog post
  2. Candy Crush (9 hours)
  3. Play fetch with cats (4 hours)
  4. Clean litter box
  5. Get every man cuckolded (with the alpha cock)
  6. Go to grocery store

One down, five to go!

Christopher in Oregon “Deconstructs the Female” and Her Allegedly Very Stinky You-Know-What [UPDATE: Now With Dramatic Reading!]

Georgia O'Keefe: Probably Not Christopher in Oregon's favorite painter

Georgia O’Keeffe: Probably Not Christopher in Oregon’s favorite painter

It’s time for another visit into the fertile mind of Christopher in Oregon, perhaps the most viscerally misogynistic boob I’ve ever written about on this site. Most of the misogynists I write about here like to pretend that they’re not misogynists, or to dress up their misogyny in pseudoscientific terms, talking about the evils of female “hypergamy” or citing dubious evo psych to back up their reprehensible views.

Not old Chris. He’s an old-school, women are bad because their vaginas are stinky, woman-hater. And his 2007 manifesto “Deconstruct the Female,” which I recently found reposted on MarkyMark’s blog, may well be his masterpiece.

Let’s take a look at some of the highlights.

Read the rest of this entry

Red Piller: Evil sluts not only want to have sex but actually want people not to hate them for it.

Men can also be sexy hamsters.

Men: Can also engage in hamstering

So the Red Pill subreddit, as you may recall, is a place for dudes to discuss the devious and possibly not altogether ethical or even consensual strategies they’ve come up with to … have sex with anyone they want. But their real goal is not just to have sex, but to control other people’s opinions and thoughts of them doing so. They want to silence all critics, and then even demand praise for their morally reprehensible or at least morally questionable actions.

Woah. It feels like my brain was just taken over for a second. Did I even write that? I don’t think I did. I swear I’ve read most of that paragraph before.

Oh wait.

NakedAndBehindYou 28 points 5 hours ago (33|5)  Feminists always say shit like "I wish I could have sex with anyone I want but I can't because patriarchy!!!"  When in reality, if they live in a first world country, they can already have sex with anyone they want. But their real goal is not just to have sex, but to control other people's opinions and thoughts of them doing so. They want to silence all critics, and then even demand praise for their morally reprehensible or at least morally questionable actions, in an effort to silence their own subconscious condemnation of themselves which results in painful self-inflicted guilt and shame.  That is all it really is: they are narcissistic and want to behave immorally, but cannot escape their own guilty consciences, so they try to block out the conscience via mental gymnastics AKA hamstering.

Oh yeah. That’s where it came from. I must have been possessed.

The Red Pill subreddit, where lying to women to get them into bed is perfectly acceptable but a woman having consensual sex is a reprehensible, narcissistic slattern with a gymnastic hamster for a brain.

NOTE: I found this quote through the always helpful Blue Pill subreddit.

Men’s Rightsers fall for obvious bullsh*t, part ten million and two

Heh heh heh. No, really, just click.

Heh heh heh. No, really, just click.

Hello, and welcome to The Man Boobz Fiction Workshop! Today we will learn my foolproof two-step method for writing believable fiction. It’s as easy as pie — well, easier, since pie can take a bit of finesse — and it is absolutely GUARANTEED to work.

Here it is.

STEP ONE: Write believable fiction.

STEP TWO: If step one fails, write a story that makes a woman look evil and foolish, and post it to the Men’s Rights Subreddit as a true story.

If you don’t believe me, check out this little story from a fella calling himself the-final-word — a Redditor for less than two weeks, with only one previous comment to his name — in which a highly successful gentleman happily humiliates an ex-girlfriend trying to steal his money with the old “baby” ploy.

the-final-word 47 points 1 day ago.  I had one daughter with my first wife in my early 20s and we divorced when she was 6. I was shocked to find out just 3 years later when I was being checked out for a prostate infection that I had become completely infertile since then (yes, daughter is mine, I had a dna check done to be sure). Doc said that sometimes the factory just shuts down and there's no good reason.  Fast forward 10 years and I'm getting pretty damn successful at my job and the bank is adding up. One day there's a knock at the door and there stands a tearful and angry ex gf with a toddler in her arms. You can guess the story she rolls out. I didn't want to ruin your life, its been so hard, he has your eyes blah blah blah. After about 20 mins of standing in my door and her blathering on she stops and looks at me angrily and says "why are you just staring at me with that look? Dont you realize how serious this is?".  So I replied "Oh, well.. I've been completely infertile since I was 27 and have the medical records to prove it. So I'm really just trying to decide whether it was your boss or your ex bf you were fucking while we dated. He looks more like your boss to be honest".  Believe it or not that actually stunned her into complete mouth-haging-open style silence. So I just closed the door in her face and went back inside to finish the game I was watching. My then 19 year old daughter sticks her head around the corner from the kitchen, where she'd overheard the whole thing and said "Seriously Dad. You have GOT to stop fucking crazy bitches.... like SERIOUSLY".  Never heard from that woman again, but I heard from a friend that she tried to pin the kid on her ex bf after that but he got a paternity test and it wasn't his either.  I have to confess, I fell asleep grinning that night!

Take a look at the thread itself to see how eagerly the Men’s Righsers eat up his tale of victory over evil womanhood!

That is the beauty of my two-step method. If people don’t believe your bullshit, find a more gullible audience. And there are few audiences in this world more gullible than Men’s Rightsers.

I should note that I had nothing to do with the-final-word’s story, nor did I sneak into the Men’s Rights subreddit to give his story 47 upvotes and a bunch of positive comments.

Thanks to hackattack92 in the AgainstMensRights Subreddit for pointing out this wonderful example of shitthatneverhappened.txt

Equal pay: A Secret Lady Plot to Steal Men’s Money and Make them Fight Lions, or Something

Eventually, women won't have to do anything, and men will just carry them everywhere.

Eventually, women won’t have to do anything, and men will just carry them everywhere.

These women clamoring for equal pay — what’s their game? I mean, obviously they don’t want anything as straightforward as equal pay for equal work. What woman wants to work?

Happily, the smart lads in the Men’s Rights subreddit have it all figured out.

HilscherFarms 33 points What's the end game of "equal pay?"  What happens if a feminist's wet dream comes true and the 'pay gap' is closed through legislative fiat, with men working 25% longer hours and never taking a day off just to make the same salary as a woman? Not all men can or ever will drop out, so where does this inverse pendulum fall down and settle at?  I can't see how that works, but it seems like it's going to happen even on this side of the pond with the destabilization of American politics. The SCOTUS, Senate, and Presidency are now probably permanently out of the grasp of one side of the political spectrum and feminism has a heavy dominance of the remaining party. We could be in for another 'era of good feelings' in which those good feelings trample the rights of men even more than they already have.  I don't see how such a state of affairs could even be economically possible, but if it's attempted anyway, what happens? IcarusLived 51 points The end game is to force men into the difficult and dangerous manual labor jobs because they've been discriminated against heavily in education. Then when women are working the easy and safe air-conditioned jobs they will demand that women receive the same pay for the easy jobs as men get for the difficult jobs.  This will effectively transfer men's labor and resources to women without women having to give anything in return. This was the goal of Feminism all along.

Clever girls!

I do feel bad for all the fellas in the Men’s Rights subreddit, none of whom presumably work in air-conditioned offices. They probably all have to wrestle lions for a living, with their bare hands, in coal mines, blindfolded. (Them, not the lions.) It’s kind of amazing they find time to post on the internet at all!

h/t to TheBluePill for pointing me towards this manly wisdom.

More #Fidelbogenisms from @Fidelbogen, brave Counter-Feminist Tortoise-Fighting Ant Warrior of Truth

This is actually the picture of himself he uses for his YouTube vidoes.

This is actually the picture of himself he uses for his YouTube vidoes.

I know I just wrote about it, but our Counter-Feminist pal Fidelbogen’s Twitter feed is turning into the funniest thing on Twitter next to 80sDonDraper.

Read the rest of this entry


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 17,151 other followers

%d bloggers like this: