Matt Forney, still trying hard to offend, publishes post suggesting that whenever women drink they cheat on their boyfriends [CORRECTED]
Women preparing to cheat.
Matt Forrney, the asshole behind the now-defunct In Mala Fide blog, is apparently as desperate for attention as ever. So today I’m going to indulge him by posting this deliberately obnoxious comment of his about women and drinking. [CORRECTION: The post was actually written by someone calling himself "The Captain Power," who is evidently a whole other different person than Matt Forney, who merely published this post on his blog called Matt Forney.]
If your girlfriend goes out and drinks alcohol, you are most likely getting cheated on.
Women by nature are predetermined in their D.N.A to get pregnant and reproduce, and until they reach menopause they need a constant supply of penis to provide fertility. Your girlfriend might prefer your penis, but once the alcohol kicks in and she is inebriated, your penis is useless. Out of site, out of mind (but full of semen).
In my entire life I have never met a women who was out drinking and didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. …
The few drinking exceptions for women include weddings, work parties, birthday parties with male friends, and suicide attempts.
The reference to suicide attempts at the end is a nice touch.
Posted on July 9, 2013, in citation needed, evil sexy ladies, evo psych fairy tales, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, PUA and tagged evolutionary psychology, misogyny, pick-up artists, pickup artists, PUA. Bookmark the permalink. 625 Comments.
My son was delivered by Caesarean - not by choice, but because he simply wasn’t cooperating. My medically-trained wife had been present at many such operations, and was so blasé about it that she asked the surgeon if the usual screen arrangement across her belly could be omitted so she could have a good look. I very much did not want to have a good look, and was delighted when the surgeon insisted that the screen remain in situ - and when my wife urged me to take photographs, I just popped the camera over the screen and started shooting blind. Surprisingly, most of them came out OK, but I didn’t look at them for ages.
re screens: My mother has a pathological fear of general anaesthesia, and so (after several visits with a couple of shrinks) had her ovarian cyst removed under a local (the gas-passer told her to tell him 1: if it started to hurt, and 2: if she wanted to be put out).
So while the surgeon is working she tells him it “tugs a little”. He leaned over the screen to ask, “since I’m in here do you want your appendix out”,and a good time was had by all.
@Pecunium - “As an FYI it’s not in the US Constitution (though lots of USians get that wrong).”
Whoops, my bad! Where does that thing about the pursuit of happiness come from? It’s a very USian thing, isn’t it?
Declaration of Independence.
::slaps forehead::
Thanks! That’s what brain fade’ll do for ya.
I like your wife. While the idea of growing a foetus makes me want to find a way to remove my uterus myself, if I was in her position I’d be the same. I’ve seen plenty of spays, it’s be cool to see my own caesarean!
Yeah, single parents FTW. Preferably with a good support system so it’s not totally draining, but god, the idea of being stuck with someone who just makes your life harder as the second “parent” (not all guys obviously but if you have a time you want to have babies, you have a good chance of not finding someone awesome) is so much worse than being a single parent.
I’m really surprised Sweden is like that. I was pleasantly surprised that NZ allows single parent insemination – we had a section of our human evolution and sexuality class that was infertility. And of course the woman, who worked at a fertility clinic for a decade, was all about “better plan for babies soon” and my eyes almost rolled out of my head. But yeah, 70% of AI in NZ is lesbian couples and single mothers.
Ahoy, hrovitnir! Here’s my effort at your kitty avatar for your approval (or not). Yes, I used the kitty avatar generator to do it.
http://i.imgur.com/0DucbnC.png
SittieKitty, you’d make an awesome mom. Don’t listen to the naysayers! Single parenting can be hella difficult, but then so can co-parenting. At least when you’re flying solo, you don’t have to negotiate basic child care decisions, or worry about custody battles, or find yourself resentful because you’re shouldering the lion’s share of the burden anyway (and having to take care of an “extra kid”). A caring, involved partner is worth their weight in gold, but a bad partner can make parenting a nightmarish experience. If you do go it alone, you’ll find that a pretty amazing support system emerges from among family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. It really does take a village.
I don’t understand putting restrictions on who can and can’t have access to assisted reproduction. It is not universally true that two-parent households are always better for children than one-parent households, or that Adam and Eve’s child will automatically be more well-adjusted than Adam and Steve’s (or Madam and Eve’s, for that matter). The main thing that matters is a loving, stable home, whatever form that takes.
Yay Kitteh! I just added some shading on the face for consistency, and now it’s miiiine, precious. ^_^
Yayyyy! I didn’t know how to get the shading right, I’m so pleased you like it!
Thanks Buttercup
I have a pretty good support system, so that’s good, and I can’t think that I would ever bring a child into the world without planning and knowing I could grow and support and love it.
@Falconer- I saw Gaiman last weekend- he was awesome and read a bunch of things aloud, which is my favorite thing in the whole world ever.
Hope that it was fun for you too!
@dualityheart — Maybe he says this to all the groups, but we got a couple of unique treats last night.
One, a thunderstorm rolled up right as the festivities got underway, so he said he’d promised himself he’d read the thunderstorm bit if there ever was a thunderstorm … so we got a thunderstorm bit from the middle of the book, instead of something out of the first three chapters.
And for a finale, he read from a MS wherein a father does the most exciting thing you could do while going to the corner for milk … while accompanied on the banjo by Béla Fleck.
The story involved blobby green aliens, a pirate queen, and a hot air balloon with an unusual pilot (“‘You’re a stegosaurus,’ I said.”).
A wonderful time was had by all. Usually I can tell if I’ve had a good time if my belly is sore on the left from all the laughing.
I tried for a photo but it was all so washed out it coulda been anybody.
Booyah! Who’s the master of HTML?!
Their tiny little digits make my brain go all fuzzy, I’ll admit.
I’m sorry about your ovary-brain entanglement. Babies are awesome and I’m sorry that pregnancy is such a strain and a pain. Beloved was nearly constantly uncomfortable towards the end, especially when [DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON] her pelvis started separating along the joint in the front.
… The above comment about the awesomeness of babies was in no way meant to shame anyone who has decided to be childfree.
Are you planning on any more? Her problem _might_ have been related to the multiple birth or it could be a tendency to produce too much relaxin hormone, too soon. For me? I started getting pain in the pubis joint before I’d even been to the doctor about the second pregnancy - and I’d been more or less immobilised for the last eight+ weeks with the first (though she was a good fortnight overdue).
It’s best to find out as soon as possible. The physio can then give you the ugliest under”garment” known in the history of the world. It’s really just a giant tube of elastic folded back double on itself, covering from mid-thigh to armpits. But it does ***wonders*** to stabilise the hips, lower back and pubis joints - because the pain can be agonising and the one thing you don’t do when you’re pregnant is take painkillers.
OWWWWWWWWWWW! I just high-fived my penis after reading that
I know hubby would love to have children, but I am at best conflicted. Of course, right now it’s a moot point, because the only life-form aside from ourselves we can afford to support is Sneak’s aloe vera.
Also, I know way too many horror stories. One of my fellow students in my storytelling class told a story of needing to get a C-section with no anaesthesia. D: NOPE NOPE NOPE THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Are we sure that Captain Power isn’t really Matt Forney? He’s used multiple names (Ferdinand Bardamu) before. One of Forney’s new things is this strange belief that Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Tech & The Black Pill are the same person. While they’re both obnoxious misogynists, thinking that they’re the same man means that every misogynist is the same man. I wish that was true.
What I think is happening is that Forney is still using multiple names and is feeling pretty guilty about it. One of those names could be Captain Power.
“Women by nature are predetermined in their D.N.A to get pregnant and reproduce, and until they reach menopause they need a constant supply of penis to provide fertility.”
Matt Forney’s claims turns even old-fashioned notions of sociobiology on its head. As it is, I’ve an entomologist uncle who once told me that using sex hormones to control insect pest populations turned out to be a dead end because even female insects won’t mate with any male at all. I have wonder if Forney’s notions aren’t rooted in some drunken promiscuous behavior of his own, as is so often the case with men who’re hysterically worried about women’s infidelity/promiscuity.
What is it that causes people to tell horror stories to pregnant women? “Oh, I see you’re about to spawn. Let me tell you, in vivid, grotesque detail, the horrible, horrible (but statistically improbable) thing that happened to me / my wife / this person I heard about, which could not have been predicted or prevented, so that you can spend the remainder of your pregnancy stressing about it.”
RE: Unimaginative
I was unclear. The storyteller was a woman, and we were telling true stories, so she told the story of her emergency C-section.
Not gonna lie, it was quite a dramatic story! But DEFINITELY made me remember that I was not hugely into the idea of having kids.
Jeez I hope you weren’t at work when you did that, Shadow. Questions Might Be Asked.
@LBT, nah, I got that. It’s just that, women always seem to tell these stories to pregnant women, especially women who are pregnant for the first time. It usually freaks them out, and there’s usually nothing they can really do to prevent the story from happening to them. It just seems kind of mean to me, and yet I know that the story-telling women aren’t doing it to be mean. They’re just, I guess, over-sharing.
RE: Unimaginative
Ah, gotcha! It’s weird, other things aren’t like. I mean, when I had top surgery, if anything, a lot of people were kind of… underselling it, I think? Like I’d feel absolutely DELIGHTED about my choice straightaway, with no emotional conflict whatsoever.
Now, admittedly, once I was well enough to shower, I did feel that way, but for the week or so prior, not gonna lie, my main thoughts were, “WHAT WAS I THINKING?” But then, I felt like I’d gotten hit by a truck.
Wow. I wonder if there’s really any way to prepare for that kind of experience.
I haven’t really had any surgery (got LASIK, so now I have laser vision), but I’m contemplating breast reduction when I’ve lost enough weight and stabilized (I figure another year). I’m terrified and excited by turns. I’m afraid of pain, complications, and not surviving the anaesthesia.
(I’m not transitioning, just extremely top-heavy.)
RE: Unimaginative
Well, although my surgery was slightly different in mode and purpose, I think mine is similar enough that maybe I can help on that front.
As for pain… it passes. I was pretty lucky, and was able to get by on 1/8th the expected painkillers. (Though admittedly, they were HEAVY painkillers.) It wasn’t as painful as I expected, honestly. Like, yes, I couldn’t sleep lying down for a while, and it was longer before I could turn over, but I was able to do the things I needed to-wash my hair, go to the bathroom, and to some extent get dressed without help. I had two friends helping me, which made things a LOT easier.
Complications? Well, I didn’t have any. My surgery went swimmingly. So I can’t really give anything on that. It’s a matter of luck, and your surgeon.
Anaesthesia… well, my body does NOT like anaesthesia. I don’t think I’m in a small minority either. I ALWAYS need anti-nausea meds afterward, and am groggy and stupid for a day or two after. It’s pretty unlikely to kill you, though. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s nasty shit, but don’t let that be the basis of your decision alone.
You mean like THIS? :O
Ha! Now THAT would be awesome. But it’s still pretty cool to have peripheral vision and be able to walk without watching the ground.
Hmm … when one has peripheral vision (I’m myopic too) does one see more imaginary spiders on the wall, or fewer?
Um, not so much spiders on the wall as people moving around (who are actually leaves, branches, stationery objects that do not move in any way and have no possible reason to catch my attention but do anyway). But then, I’m in northern Canada. Our spiders are mostly innocuous, and can’t kill you by looking at you.
I beat a spider to death with a ladle the other night (it was too far away to reach by hand. The cat looked up for a second and then went back to sleep. She’s so jaded.
I have that sort of vision already. When it’s not “Oh, that was my hair, not some strange person” it’s “Oh, it’s not a giant huntsman, it’s that dull paint spot on the wall that I’ve seen 685980349198 times already. And double-checked every time.”
Yep. Bonus points if double-checking requires you to actually get up and walk a distance.
Dang, I miss the bonus points! It’s in my bedroom, which is quite small. Every night I get home and *startle*, every other time I go in there, *startle*.
Hmm, I have some water stains on my ceiling like that. Not so much startle as, “Are those new? Do I have a leak?”
Also, a mole on the bottom of my foot. Every damn time I see it (not all that often, because I don’t bend that way), I think, “Is that new? Melanoma?”
Ok, I’m a lazy ass, but huntsman or paint spot? I’d have reprinted that shit by, oh, the third time I went total panic mode and then felt like a dumbass.
“Huh? Oh, it’s my hair”? Dandy, fine, whatever. “Huh? Did the cat just ninja past me? Nope, a shadow, k”? Totally dandy (though, she usually sneaks behind me, so maybe I did he her being a ninja…)
“Was that a spider? Oh thank gods no”? Annoying. Thinking it was bigger than my pinkie nail? *runs and hides*
You’re like the opposite of a tourist board. Instead you’re determined to discourage potential visitors by reminding them of the existence of Australia’s horrifying arachnids.
I’m definitely the Anti Tourist Board. You’re talking to the person who went to Edinburgh to get away from they Sydney Olympics.
Our vision is great, but when it comes to navigating our internal world, I’m blind as a bat. I mostly get around by touch, and didn’t realize that it wasn’t a universal system thing until Sneak made me glasses and HOLY SHIT DETAIL.
It’s still really weird though. I guess I just don’t have enough bandwidth to fully process TWO fully realized visual worlds at the same time. (Though apparently Sneak does.)
I was driving the other night when a fairly large (dime-sized) spider crawled out of my A/C vent and started wandering around my dashboard.
It is a fucking miracle that I didn’t crash my car. I even managed not to lose my shit to the extent I was able to get it to crawl onto a piece of paper, which I then tossed out the window. I figured that littering was a smaller karmic price than killing a probably harmless spider.
This is because I was driving on surface streets. If I had been on the highway, I would have perished in a fiery wreck, taking that spider with me.
The first time I ever saw a wood spider, it freaked me the FUCK out. Mostly because it was on our mailbox, and you had to get pretty close to it to get through the door. But also because it looked like a garbanzo bean with stripey legs, and I thought it was a mutant tarantula or something.
Curious - I’d have thought that wood spider was a type of orb weaver, but apparently they’re huntsmen (much like ours). Yeah, huntsmen in the letter box = seriously scary. So does huntsman sitting on the back of the kitchen dresser exactly where I was putting an egg cup AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
I understand that being cheated on must suck, especially if you were really invested in a relationship, but how do you get from “a woman cheated on me” to “all women everywhere for all time are biologically predestined to cheat constantly until menopause”?
Why do so many people now need to leap from basic observations into halfbaked “evolutionary” explanations of things that can much more easily and soundly be explained by interpersonal, situational or environmental causes?
“Biology did it” is fast becoming the new “God did it”, if it hasn’t already.
“Biology did it” absolves personal responsibility, that’s why it’s so popular among those who find self-examination too painful.
Hah! Spiders.
Watched Brian Cox’s Wonders of Life episode last night. You’ll all be thrilled to know that the spider most recently discovered in Madagascar creates webs
that … can …. span … rivers. Web 30 sq feet, anchoring thread 82 feet long.
Yippee. http://news.discovery.com/animals/new-spider-catches-attention-in-giant-web.htm
::crosses Madagascar off list of places I could be persuaded to visit::
Come to
AustraliaMad’gascarYou might accidentally get killed
Speaking of spiders… I leave my porch lights on because I’m often out in the middle of the night and like having light to come back to, and that means that the spiders in the neighbourhood have set up camp on my porch because of all the insects that hover around the light. I can even count which ones have been there more than a season because they just keep getting bigger and bigger each year, and there are at least 30 that hang out there. One of these days I’ll get a hose and wash away all the webs, for the moment I just duck and move quick in the middle of the night and hope nothing drops on me.
Re: pregnancy, people telling horror stories to pregnant women is one of the most frustrating things ever! It’s hard enough to discuss pregnancy with a new parent, when it’s a subject largely absent from our cultural narrative, but then having to correct all the erroneous and terrible things that people will tell pregnant women is just awful. Especially since labour needs to be something that happens when you’re relaxed/unafraid, since labouring while afraid or tense is incredibly self-defeating.
Labor stories all soon to deliver folks should hear — my mother’s water broke with my brother as we stepped into the pizza shop for dinner. He was born 4~5 hours later.
We still joke he smelled the pizza and wanted some
(They don’t need to hear about delivering me, short story is I didn’t want to come out)
Eh, the doctor scanned our mother with an ultrasound machine that took up a whole room, found a head, and apparently stopped counting (or lost count or something) because I was a COMPLETE AND TOTAL SURPRISE in the delivery room.
Doctor: Hold on, there’s another one in there.
Mom: … Pardon me?
By comparison, I knew my babies’ … shall we say, equipment for six months before they were born. Also, Beloved was getting weekly sonograms through out January and February.
There’s a pizza delivery joke in there somewhere.
Falconer, you’re also a twin? You guys are going to end up with like, parallel reality birthday parties or something!
Katz — probably. I just barely 3, and thought the sudden decision to get it to go meant I’d done something wrong. Making me a bigger fuss than delivering him was!
It saddens me, the idea that pregnancy is so common but not talked about. Eesh. Then again, I was FURIOUS when I was trying to recover from my ED and could not for the life of me find anything that taught how to make eating easier. What the hell, seven billion people and not one of them has something written on the the pragmatic bits that I can find?
Erroneous? The worst thing 30 years ago was the pregnancy is all natural pink unicorns farting rainbows schtick.
Even the director of nursing at the hospital I had to spend a few weeks in - not in high dependency, but a few of the other women on the ward were yo-yoing between our top floor ward and the HD unit every time they nearly lost the pregnancy - did her rounds one day and was talking to me. We saw a woman “walking” past on crutches (she also had the too much relaxin problem - but it affected her hips first and worst) and sighed how sad it was that we were all in hospital. Pregnancy and birth were “natural” processes and shouldn’t go wrong like this.
She was a midwife!! She should have learned some time or another that modern pregnancy care and her own midwifery skills were the only reasons we didn’t have maternal and perinatal death and injury rates like those of very few generations earlier. There were women there who’d had multiple (one had had 10) stillbirths / miscarriages, and a couple had extremely premature births while I was there. If you spent more than a day or two in the hospital you realised that the Dr Quick the very nice voice on the PA system frequently asked to go to the neo-natal or HD units wasn’t a person - it was an emergency, a baby or a woman were in deep trouble somehow.
Pregnancy can be dangerous, but it is natural. The reason why we have low maternal/perinatal death is because of modern medicine and trained birth attendants. I advocate for home births in cases where the women are properly screened and trained attendants are present. I advocate for hospital births in high risk cases or where the woman is more comfortable in the hospital. It’s pretty much up to where the woman is most comfortable and safe.
Regardless, I meant when people are telling all these awful stories about their very rare thing that happened, or when they have faulty recall of the events (which happens a SHOCKINGLY large amount of the time). And it’s coupled with the false narrative of “birth” that’s frequently shown in mass media, where it’s all screaming and terrifying and “PUSH PUSH PUSH” and lasts about 10 mins. Which means that the “quick” births of 4-5 hrs like above can be considered failures by mothers who expect their births to be over super quick, or by moms who think they aren’t strong enough to make it through anything, or by moms who are terrified of the start of labour creeping up on them/the anticipation of the pain is worse than the actual pain. It’s a complicated issue, but the cultural narrative and people wanting to discuss their horror birth stories (which is also shockingly common and something that I think is just innately cruel) doesn’t help.
Oh, he was quick! I was one of those stories not to tell soon to deliver folks.
I was due the fourth, my birthday’s next Saturday. Convinently, I was born a Saturday so this story will be simple! She went in Thursday for yet another scan to see if I still had enough fluid, got a call that evening? early early Friday? to get her pregnant ass to the hospital, she was getting induced. So bright and early Friday they start her on a reasonable amount of the drugs they so like to overuse now. Few hours later when nada is happening, they tell her to take a walk around the hospital, it can help things settle into place. She does, it does, by Friday evening she’s in proper labor. A bit after noon Saturday I am still nowhere to be seen, and the talk of a c-section starts — now, this is 1985, back when once you had one, you were having one with every birth thereafter. When her FUCKING ANCIENT OB/GYN says he’s going to try with the forceps first.
16 days late, 30~ hours between induction and birth, removed with forceps. I will never hear the end of this.
And then my brother slid out in a matter of hours. So yeah, TV may say he took awhile, my mother otoh was THRILLED he didn’t pull the shit I did!
Afaik, this story never gets told to expecting parents (any of you reading along who’re expecting, your kid is far more likely to be like my brother!). Hell, I told part of this to my psych cuz it was somehow relevant to something, and specifically said to please not even remotely mention it to the very pregnant receptionist, don’t scare her like that!
Telling that one to someone who’s expecting is just fucking cruel. Tell the one about my brother instead, his birth was funny! And ironically, pizza has arrived, time for dinner!
It didn’t occur to me for a long time afterwards (being in a fog of chronic pain at the time) that she said exactly the wrong thing. Oblivious really, blinded by her ideology. She was basically telling me and, by extension, the whole 20-30 of us antenatal/ high dependency patients, fearing the deaths/disabilities of our babies or ourselves, in the hospital at the time that we were failures because we didn’t fit into her idealised, totally unrealistic view about beautiful, natural, harmless pregnancies producing bonny, bouncing, healthy babies. (I wasn’t there for just the relaxin-damaged joints. I was there because of a suspected thrombosis so they could keep an eye on me and I could be treated/transferred urgently if anything went wrong.)
What she should have said would have been to sell the hospital as a boon to modern women. Just look at how lucky we are that we have these facilities to do the best for you unlucky few and your babies.
If she’d meant “Natural process, yeah, but why does nature fuck up so badly so often?” it would have made sense.
Yeah. One of those jokes about “Now we know that god is male. A goddess would’ve done a much better job.” would have got the unlucky message _and_ the this-is-shitty message across without scaring the pants off already worried women.
That’s always been my take - no goddess would make such a stuff-up of body design!
Prolly it was just that Ceiling Cat got bored and put the whole process on auto pilot.
Yeah, that’s why I advocate for hospitals when it’s necessary. There is absolutely a time and place when hospitals and modern medicine and even c-sections are totally necessary and beneficial, and there’s really no “wrong” way to have a baby, knowing that interventions are created because they are sometimes very important and necessary parts of maintaining healthy births. There’s really only a wrong way to support someone through pregnancy and birth.
Wow Argenti, 16 days late! That’s really late. 30hrs induction isn’t that uncommon, but forceps is surprising rather than going to a section and it’s almost fortunate for your mom that’s what happened, precisely because once you’d had a section, it was unlikely all your subsequent children wouldn’t be section as well during that era. Nowadays VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) isn’t that uncommon, though still could happen more often imo, merely because of the risks associated with cesareans compared to a vaginal birth.
Re: forceps, like I said, her OB/GYN was ANCIENT. Like, old enough to retire, in the eighties. So he’d have been trained right around WWII. Point here is that he hadn’t learned how to work forceps in med school that decade, but many many years ago.
*shudders* and if she had been sectioned…my brother’s sliding right out would’ve gotten a whole lot more dangerous.
Yeah, I mean, we use vacuums now, although there are some doctors who prefer forceps and occasionally forceps provide a different function from vacuums. And yeah, the risk goes up with having had a previous section. The risks go: Vaginal birth (no prior section) < Vaginal birth after cesarean < Repeat cesarean < Trial of labour after prior cesarean resulting in a repeat section.