A Gif, and Another Question: Where do you run across MRA/PUAs/etc online?
Here’s a cool, if momentarily puzzling, gif.
And another question for you all. Well, several related questions, really.
Where did you first run across MRAs and/or PUAs etc online (or offline)? What was your reaction at the time?
Flash forward to now: Where do you tend to run across MRAs/PUAs/etc or their ideas online (expressed by people who may or may not be MRAs/PUAs/etc)?
Oh, and by the way, feel free to discuss whatever else you want, or to post links to misogyny, and generally behave as if this is an open thread, because it is.
Posted on March 6, 2013, in david has questions, MRA, PUA, vacation. Bookmark the permalink. 139 Comments.
@Bob Dole - repeat welcomes are a risk you run when my sieve-like memory is involved.
@cloudiah - OMG Buster for the win, the evil kitty. Though I see you won in round two!
@picklefactory - well done on riling ‘em enough to get the Name of Shame! And welcome, if you haven’t posted here before (see: above).
@melody re: the bathing suit - gods, it sounds like the sort of thing NWOslave ranted on about.
Tulgey, would googling Roissy and baseball game work as search terms?
Yahoo Answers, the Gender Studies section.
I wish I could give the name of a more intelligent website but sad to say, it was Yahoo Answers. There were more of them online than there were feminists. But it’s quite common to get kicked off Y!A and have what you’ve written deleted. So I doubt any really offensive stuff is still up there, or if it is, it won’t be for long.
Gods, Yahoo Answers. I gave up on that site pretty quickly - felt like it was sucking my brain cells into a black hole.
On many of the news coments pages here in Australia, I’ve noticed a big increase in the last three or four years of various permutations of: “men hunted mammoths”, “women only marry for money” type arguments. Genuine issues that affect both men and women, violence, rape etc are always deflected into “it’s all the fault of women”, perhaps because they don’t want to deal with the fact the most of the perpetrators are men. That’s why I think they will remain on the fringes of serious debate, they don’t genuinly seem interested in helping men at all, just blaming women.
One of my friends is a rare example of a non-misogynist MRA. I think he’s wrong about a lot of things, especially feminism, but he has distanced himself from the typical internet MRA to the point where he no longer really participates online.
Warren - yeah, our media’s gone really downhill. The Murdoch press, well, no surprise there, but when I look at the Age website, it’s full of sexist rubbish, both articles and comments.
I used to read a few of Robert Greene’s book, like The 48 Laws of Power and The Art of Seduction. Tried some of the stuff in the latter one IRL, but I could not fail to realize that I was being creepy and that it made me employ social pressure to get people to do stuff they did not actually care to do. I felt that that certainly was not what flirting and dating should be about, but I wasn’t too suprised when I found that some people would disagree.
Only heard about PUAs as a movement when Mystery got his MTV-show and people started making fun of his awful fashion sense all over the net.
I first came across MRAs reading stuff posted to fstdt.net (Fundies Say the Darndest Things.) They have stuff copied from a few different MRA sources, some of which also show up here.
Someone posted a comment mentioning a blog post on the same material here, so here I am. Wish I could remember which post it was.
The website Doctor Nerd Love has a forum, now, and there’s a vocal minority of MRAs on there. I mean, they might not be MRAs and haven’t outed themselves as such, but they pretty much respond to every and any thread parroting the exact sort of PUA/MRA/Nice Guy bollocks that would tend to make me believe they probably are.
There are a couple there that are just sad-making, though. One guy, having never had a relationship with a woman or even many terribly well-developed friendships with any people but especially women, speaks on dating and romance matters, and on matters of understanding womens’ motivations, with all the confidence - and all the understanding of reality - of a 7 year old kid loudly declaring that “if someone tried to hurt me I’d just karate chop them to death!”.
He spouts a hell of a lot of stuff that makes it clear his understanding of women comes mostly from watching terrible films and extrapolating what he sees into real life, And it’s hard to tell if he’s a particularly cunning troll/MRA or just the sort of person likely to fall into the trap of turning into one without help.
Other than that, I’ve mostly encountered them in the comment threads of feminist blogs and, well, anywhere that someone has posted an article mentioning women, and that allows comments.
On the conversation about age and misogyny, I feel like with older men you run into a lot of sexism but it’s mostly of the clueless, separate spheres variety, rather than the raging ranty why-can’t-I-hurt-women-without-society-complaining variety. It’s patronizing rather than angry/violent, for the most part.
I think I first ran into MRA’s (though it would be some time before I had a name for them) on USENET back in the early 90′s. Groups like soc.singles would attract endless repetitions of the Nice Guy (TM) debate, with all the misogynist blather that go with it. Since, I’ve come to realize that debating gender roles, gender and relationships, gender and children, etc. on the net is mostly futile; anywhere these topics are brought up, MRA-like characters will eventually derail the conversation - making comment sections on most news outlets etc useless.
Once my friend posted something about sexism and feminism on facebook. One of her male friends posted a link from the Brazilian MRA, “Masculinismo”. It was about how men too suffer sexual harassment from women. It pissed me off and I responded it directing him to Feminism 101. He didn’t like it.
*delurks* how common do you guys think MRAs are? Considering they post on every fucking feminist site ever, are they a loud minority with little better to do or are they big and are just too afraid to voice their shitty opinions IRL?
I’m 18 and most dudes I know are or have the tendencies of Nice Guys ™ so I’m legitimately worried about the commonality of there dudes’ awful attitudes. :/ I’m so glad I like girls too because if this is how most guys see women than I’m prolly gunna stay away from TEH menz.
…
I ain’t even kidding.
4chan, I’m sad to say. Worse even, I was twelve and almost bought into it.
I’ve met two probable MRAS IRL; one was a guy I knew who *insisted* I delete a quote from AAMP I posted on my Fb wall (post did not concern him, he was not tagged in it) where the dialogue between him and myself degenerated into him calling all rape victims manhating sluts and demanding I apologise for hurting his feelings after he triggered me. The second guy I met was when I was working at a thrift store and he began on my shift. He seemed to be perfectly normal until I mentioned reddit and how I thought the MRA subreddit was a complete joke- he mumbled something about MRAs being right sometimes and I sort of changed the subject so I wouldn’t have to deal with BS in front of the other volunteers. He never came back, thank goodness.
@Cami. I did the same thing to the guy on fb. He started crying about male oppreshun or some rubbish.
Maybe the Nice Guys will grow out of it? I hope so, because if not I feel really sorry for women your age, catbeast.
(Is an olds.)
Wikipedia, while I was editing. For a while, all of our articles on patriarchy and similar were based primarily off of Steven Goldberg’s “The Inevitability of Patriarchy” and “Why Men Rule”. I think I recall some of Warren Farrell’s stuff being cited too, but I’m not willing to dig into the histories now.
Finally the worst offender was banned for unrelated reasons (shock, MRAs are often just plain assholes, even when dealing with men) and people with brains and the ability to string together a concise sentence were able to clean up the place. We’ve had a recent influx of MRA “activism” but they’ve been mostly unsuccessful, as even the rather sexist Wikipedia establishment finds them obnoxious.
I’ve only commented on here a couple of times, but I thought you might be interested in my perspective. I am probably the antithesis of most ManBoobz readers in that I’m politically conservative(ish). I’m also a happily married, Christian mother of two young children. Despite some of the obvious differences I may have with David and many of the commenters here, I think this site does a tremendous service.
I read a lot of mainstream (i.e. not crazy, at least IMO), right-leaning publications/sites, such as the Wall St. Journal opinion page, and Instapundit, which is written by Glenn Reynolds, a libertarian law professor at the University of Tennessee. About a year-and-a-half ago, Instapundit linked to Roissy, who was slamming an article by Bill Bennett decrying the permanent state of adolescence to which many young men currently seem to aspire. He linked with the neutral comment: “The PUA community is not impressed with Bill Bennett’s advice.” From there, I went down the rabbit hole into a bizarre and horrifying world I had no idea existed.
I’ve always respected Reynolds, and part of me can’t forgive him for that link. I think his interest, in part, has to do with the fact that he’s married to “Dr. Helen,” who is writing a book on the subject of why men are shortchanged. It’s a niche she’s latched onto, and together they’re working it.
Since then, I have noticed some of these ideas creeping into other respectable right-leaning outlets. James Taranto, who writes the Best of the Web column for the Wall St. Journal’s opinion page, has now written a couple of articles predicated on the kind of fascination with evolutionary psychology that you see in the Manosphere. I think he can be credited with introducing the term “hypergamy” to the masses. There was an article in National Review Online that riffed on the “chicks dig jerks” meme. The author, whose name escapes me now, had the shaved head and arrogant expression of someone who’s bought the PUA line. The execrable Roosh predicted that 2013 would see PUA/MRA ideas finally enter the mainstream, and based on what I’m starting to see, I fear he may be right.
The interesting thing is that those on the right who seem most responsive to this message tend to be pure libertarian/atheist/nihilist/Ron Paul-loving types. The Manboobz readership may not realize this, but while PUA/MRAs see feminists as their biggest enemies, at a close second are more traditional conservatives. Why? The latter dare to have expectations of men. In the PUA/MRA’s view, insisting that men get jobs, marry, have children, and/or in some way make a valuable contribution to society is just another way of forcing a “fem-centric” agenda on men and denying them their basic freedom.
I hate to admit it, but there are certain elements I agree with in the philosophy that animates the Manosphere. I won’t get into that, because it’s not my intention to start an argument here. But PUA/MRA ideas are swathed in so much misogynist, society-destroying bile that it obscures any truth they might have touched on.
Anyway, keep up the good work, David. And to all the young women who are encountering men who’ve imbibed these nasty ideas, my heart goes out to you and I wish you the best!
@Catbeast
I’m not that much older than you and I’m happy to say that a lot of the men I know who were Nice Guys in high school and college did get over it, more or less. Once they start having more life experience, a lot will realize that they aren’t entitled to sex and dates and that there are, in fact, more critical issues in the world than having a two month dry spell.
There are also a lot of younger men who are to some degree pro-feminist, certainly a lot more than in my parents’ generation (or maybe my parents just don’t have particularly enlightened friends). At least that’s what it seems like to me.
My exposure is from googling sites like AVfM and such, prompted largely by feminist articles denouncing the MRA movement. I thought to myself, “There has got to be some hyperbole here. There’s no way these so-called activists are going this far without intending to parody themselves.”
And as I continued to Google-fu, the horror sunk in. I hugged my boyfriend (and later my dad) so hard afterwards. I guess I have to give MRAs some credit in that they do make me appreciate so much more the truly good and honorable men in my life.
I can’t say I have knowingly met in person any really obnoxious dyed-in-the-wool activists, but I do have one male friend who I learned is not all that sympathetic about women’s concerns. I remember another female friend and I having a rather intense conversation with him because he couldn’t understand why women such as myself didn’t revel being hit on all the time and everywhere. To him, it was like I was whining about receiving what he would consider mana from heaven. He didn’t seem to take very seriously how we actually felt about our experiences, or consider that his assumption that the grass is greener was wrong. He was dismissive about our points concerning unwanted invasion of space and threats to personal safety- without realizing that as a tall guy and a former wrestler, it was easy for him to say. He could put just about anyone face down on the ground in seconds. Me? I’m feisty, but at 120 pounds soaking wet, I know my limitations.
The conversation came to a draw after my other friend and I just gave up. Granted, he has some rather deep rooted self-esteem issues, so I realized where he was arguing from and forgave him. Still, it was pretty goddamned annoying having to try and persuade him to think past “your problems aren’t valid until you convince me that they are.”
@Kitteh’s Help: Been lurking a while for the LOLs, may have posted once or twice, can’t remember. Thanks for the welcome in any case.
Hey, I found it! Hahaha, this still makes me happy.
@Tulgey Was it this one?
I’m still a blockquote virgin, so here’s to hoping this goes well…
Because, you know, there’s no situation that can’t be solved with a little of that old fashioned violence! And if people don’t stop saying and doing things I don’t like, I’m gonna start with the beatin’ and the killin’!
@picklefactory Thanks for that, I think it’s actually going to come in handy! I’ve recently had the ‘pleasure’ of being informed, at great and exhaustive length, that walking out of a date that was in an unmistakable death spiral is “a total c*nt thing to do” and now I have absolute proof that it is a good thing because a man told me so!
(okay, I was laughing so hard while typing that last bit that it took three times to edit back all the typos!)
@catbeast
I don’t think mra’s are too common, but misogynists sure are. :/ Maybe I just hang around a bad bunch of people.
I had that feeling too when I was going from straight to bi to lesbian :/ (not saying it means your a lesbian, just that I’ve also felt the ‘well, technically I know all men aren’t like this, but I really don’t want to deal with the potential anyway.)
Sorry about your face book friend
(catbeast and catbeasty, you’re the same person, right? or just two people w/ similiar names. If so, the last line was to catbeasty)
My first exposure to MRAs online was Angry Harry’s website. I really don’t remember how I came across it. It’s kind of hilarious how bad that site is in retrospect. Angry Harry is from the UK (and older), but it seems to be that the really awful misogynists are not as common here in the UK as in the US, Australia and Canada - or maybe I’m just being too hopeful here.
I too have noticed that younger men are a lot more misogynistic than older ones, and 1st-year university students seem to be the worst. I have a theory that they come to university, are taught about feminism for the first time in some of their courses, and they really, really don’t like it. Added to this may be the fact that they are not enjoying the anticipated university life of sex with tons of hot women. They are constantly complaining how ugly and fat most young women are. Lately, every single seminar I have gone too has featured some obnoxious male undergraduate from the English department asking after the lecture something to the effect of ‘ is this an example of men being discriminated against by society?’. Yesterday it was ‘this poet was being stifled by the women in his life and prevented from reaching his true genius’. You realize women didn’t even have the chance to show their genius back then, right, fuckwit?
Don’t get me wrong - I like most of the guys I know, young ones included. I just have to come here to rant sometimes.
Oh, god, yes. It wasn’t where I first encountered manosphere douchebags, but it’s the first site I left specifically because I couldn’t deal with all the misogynist douchebaggery anymore. I think the “highlight” for me was the time I was lectured by a Gorean on how the fact that my ex abused me was proof in and of itself that I was worthless and deserved to be abused. I wish I were exaggerating.
(That same conversation also featured the brilliant declaration, from a DIFFERENT idiot, that “women don’t actually have friends, they just pretend to care about other people in order to piss off their boyfriends.”)
on the message board MMO Champion. in the off topic forum, there are always several huge popular threads per year about the lack of men’s rights in the world, and many smaller ones that are inspired by MRM principles although they may not explicitly mention the MRM.
@Polliwog
Because nothing pisses off a boyfriend like his girlfriend having a healthy and enjoyable social life? That is terrifying on a number of levels.
Did those guys see one of the beer commercials where women sexily fight each other in sexy outfits in a sexy pool and think it was a documentary?
Don’t get me started on Goreans, I could go on all day about how fucked up they are. There’s a play party run by some friends which I really enjoy except for one fucking gorean who goes who annoys the hell out of me. Including giving me shit last time about topping a guy. Switches break his brain apparently. I had to keep repeating to myself that I can’t beat people non-consensually. I generally only hangout with pretty cool liberal feminist kinksters though.
I enjoy fetlife but I generally use it for keeping in touch with my kinky friends and events. I try to avoid the areas where douches hang out and resist the urge to poke them with the snark stick.
Google+ has a strong and vocal MRA presence…and yes as mentioned above Fetlife.
@Worried Mama Just wanted to say I appreciate your perspective.
I’ve noticed too that many MRAs are libertarians and atheists. I’m not an atheist personally, but I’ve been very disappointed to see how some people in the atheist community deal with gender issues. I know there have been many intelligent discussions on this topic on Manboobz before. I guess we can put to rest the idea that ‘only religious people and old people are sexist nowadays’ (which was what my father said when I asked him about the subject).
I think my first exposure to MRAs was on a movie review site of all places — Flick Filosopher.com. The critic’s name is Mary Ann and she is unabashedly feminist. She also loves science-fiction, action films and despises rom-coms. You wouldn’t believe the comment section there — though, not as of late. These days it’s mostly nerdly sexist guys who call her names like c**** because she doesn’t like films like “Scott Pilgrim vs the World” and “The Expendables 2.” When they do turn up, me and the regulars generally stand up to them…it’s not hard.
Long personal story:
I first encountered MRM stuff through articles on the hippie-granola drums-in-the-forest side of the early stuff, and in a book I saw in my high school library by the author of a bunch of parenting books my mum owned (Steve Biddulph, I think?), and then in yet another human-interest piece on “father’s groups” after an MRA type scaled the Harbour Bridge in a Batman costume to protest custody or something. I didn’t think at the time to question the assumptions behind the father’s rights stuff. Now, I love a good inconvenient protest, and the forest-drums-coming-to-terms-with-masculinity sounded reasonably benign, so I came to expect men’s rights stuff to be a lot like all of that and had a bit of a positive view of it. Stories of awful feminazis who want women to be better or something probably had an impact on me (from. . . somewhere? I don’t know. Seems they were in the air. I read pretty widely), but I’d always considered myself a feminist.
I would’ve been about or 17-ish with most of this.
Soon after all that, I had a pretty nasty and humilating breakup and fell into a bit of a slump. I felt hopeless about romance and googling what the heck to do led me to some of the more gimmicky PUA stuff - NLP and so on, people selling their courses. I spotted all this as bullshit, but looked into a lot of the PUA stuff. I could have sex with lots of women, thought I! Negs were one of the first thing I read about, and I though the framing was always a bit unnecessarily confrontational, but they fit in with my Aussie sense of friendly insults as humour. The “lowering self-esteem” thing was just how that all worked, then! Peacocking - dress differently to draw attention to yourself! Try, try again - that’s reasonable!
TVtropes (actually decent a lot of the time) and 4chan’s /r9k/ (nuke it from orbit, please) were both places I browsed at the time, and both were somewhere between slightly and incredibly misogynistic and supposedly sites for intelligent discussion, which legitimised misogyny as a viewpoint to me, I think. I’d seen a lot of female-on-male cheating for reasons that’d probably derail this already rambling anecdote, and a lot of the stuff read as “scientific”, so I didn’t get too upset about it or viewed it as reasonable if an overreaction. I never stopped considering myself a feminist, but I read and agreed or partially agreed with a lot of incredibly stupid stuff at around that point. I read Atlas Shrugged on a friend’s recommendation at the same time, but the strikes-in-reverse thing seemed pretty pointless even then. I agreed with a lot of libertarian stuff, though, and discovered original/left-libertarianism and democratic socialism around then.
It was when I first read incredibly “LMR” stuff that I suddenly felt very sick and began to really dislike the PUA thing for more than just trying to suck money out of people. NSWATM pre-GMP was the first blog I ever read calling those fuckers out - Ozy and Noah Brand wrote for it at the time. I wasn’t actually thinking of all that when I stumbled across Man Boobz - it was just an interesting name I clicked in the sidebar of Pharyngula, which I used to read a lot.
Anyway, thank God for me being too shy to never try out any of the PUA stuff.
I’ve encountered a few people with MRA-ish views since then and an old friend’s incredibly creepy and far older PUA boyfriend, in terms of IRL MRAs.
Was set up to see MRM as benign, got angry with an ex and read a lot of stupid shit, sort of agreed with it until I saw outright endorsement of rape and white supremacy that I couldn’t rationalise away, Ozy pulled the weeds out of my head, found Man Boobz by accident and loved David’s articles and the sense of community. I’ve encountered MRAs or pseudo-MRAs IRL but not often.
A friend coming out as trans at around the same time as the breakup, leading me to read a lot of feminist-101, helped a lot too. To this day I’m disgusted about how uneducated people are about LGBT stuff, and how much normal schooling ignores it.
It’s interesting how many MRAs encountered online and IRL by people here seem to be Australian. Really sorry, everyone.
@Kittehhelp
SMH seems to be the most reliably non-shitty mainstream Aussie paper, but they’re all pretty bad. Hopefully this just isn’t my New South Welsh bias, but I think papers suffer from that less than the Tooheys-versus-CUB/NRL-versus-AFL/schooners-versus-pots/cossies-versus-togs arguments.
lowquacks, Most Australians I’ve met (in person and online) have been awesome. You have nothing to apologize for — at least, not any more than any other country. XD
@Kitteh which Nwoslave rant? I think I must have missed it.
@Nepenthe I still ran into “nice guys” in college. They slowly diminished out once I got into the working world. Of course I work with kids which may factor into the types of men I meet.
@Marie
It is hard to tell who is actively part of a movement and who is not without asking…..
I totally agree I think most men with misogynistic tendency don’t know about MRMs.
@Kgrrrl
I think the problem is that there are SO many more males than females on the site. Which is part of the reason I don’t want to join.
http://socialstatistics.com/
Random: I talked with a trans woman today yesterday on the walk home (nighttime). She seemed a little freaked and we ended up walking and talking together.
It was interesting. And she was very open about herself once she realized I wasn’t a threat (it is weird to me to be thought of as a dangerous person a very unique experience thought after hearing her talk I totally understand).
It seems to me we all have met some misogynists. Internet hugs?
@Bunny - gods yes, we were talking about a Dr Nerdlove letter the other day - some guy doing the “oh woes, I is incel” stuff. There were a couple of raging douchebags of the MRA variety in the comments.
@lowquacks - there’s one thing I can’t forgive Fairfax for, and that’s having that misogynistic “lie back and think of England” rape proponent Bettina Arndt writing opinion pieces for them. The scum really rises to the surface in the comments then.
Melody - I haven’t seen the original one, apparently he posted a link to Google images or something to back up his assertion that women dress like sluts, and it included pictures of little girls at the beach, wearing, y’know, swimsuits. I’ve just seen it referred to in lots of comments from the last couple of years while I’ve been trawling around. (Anyone around at the time remember the specifics?)
He also focussed on the clothes of some eleven-year-old girls in a horrible video where they were (I think - the vid had been taken down when I read the thread) stripping and humiliating a smaller boy. If I read it right, one of the girls was in capri pants, and NWO ranted on about her being dressed like a slut.
Thanks, guys.
Yeah, one of them grew out of it already. XP Most of them still have this attitude.
@ Marie. THIS OMG. I’ve only been attracted to one dude so it’s only a small loss if I only choose to see women. Sometimes I just canteven be bothered with talking to some of my guy friends (basically my dnd group plus a few) because… Well… I’ll put it this way. They’re Seth McFarlane fans. -.- And I think most women feel this way about casual misogyny.
Yeah, I’m catbeast and catbeasty. WordPress drops the y for some reason.
That being said, I’d never go”mgtow” on guys, particularly not the dumb attitude Mgtows have towards sexual politics. >:P okayillstopramblingnow
@The Kitteh
Ah. Yes.
I don’t understand how swimsuits are an example of how slutty someone is.
Guys wear swim trunks (almost like underwear). Women wear: bikinis, tankinis, one peices ect (basically underwear). Is it just more slutty because it a woman? Because talk about double standards.
Oh, and to the person who asked he was in swim trunks.
Ah, someone who’s new to the Owly theory of sexuality, in which women experience their sexuality mainly by wearing clothes at men.
Imagine if Owly happened upon a crowd who’d stripped off for one of Spencer Tunick’s group photos. He can’t cope with women wearing clothes at him; his head would explode if he saw a mixed crowd of nekkid people.
I swear Owly can’t be the much-travelled tech he claimed to be. Nobody who’d ever actually been in public and looked at people could think all the men were running around with boners and barely suppressing their urges to attack teh ebil wimminz who were dressed at them.
You forgot about how high heels clickity clack just to arouse men, which is something something a tease since they won’t fuck him.
Also, I must be a ninja because androgynous people don’t exist (I’m really tempted to switch back to my ninja avatar, but Cheshire Cat!)
I think he has a terminal case of invisible-to-me-itis — the condition wherein the sufferer is unable to see anyone they are not attracted to, whereby rendering said people invisible to the sufferer.
I know we joke about misogynists not understanding that women are people a lot, but in Owly’s case he quite literally does not appear to understand that women have inner lives, subjectivity, etc.
So if he has an erection then obviously it’s something the woman he was looking at did to him on purpose, because it’s impossible that she could have not even noticed him and be walking along thinking “need more coffee…must remember to pick up dry cleaning…shit, I’m late for my meeting”.
Which would make walking through crowds really difficult.
Owly seemed to think women’s inner lives or thoughts consist solely of making men miserable, extracting money from them (it’d be so much easier if the local councils would clean those sidewalks!) and teasing them sexually.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bloke with a boner in public. All those thousands of men on the train, on the street, in offices, in thirty years of working, and none of ‘em seem to have this uncontrollable sexual arousal brought on by women being around. I seriously doubt they were all well-trained manginas, either.
OT, thinking about when we were talking about the term neckbeard t’other day: I saw a young guy yesterday who literally had one, but knew how to make it look good. He was sort of like a younger and prettier Russell Brand, without the weird wild-eyed expression - had the mane of curly hair, a neat moustache, and a beard that was mostly stubble above his jawline, and thicker below it. The thicker hair was short and neat.
Too transfixed by the gif to answer the question
Lucky! Or, well, I could live with the boner, it was the guy with his fly open on the train who kept checking to make sure that people could see his boner that I could have done without.
@catbeasty
Same here :/ I don’t spend as much time with my dad because of the casual misogyny, though me and my sis have actually talked about it and tried to get him to stop. My brother too, but he’s fifteen, not fifty, so I’m willing to cut him more slack. (also, my dad does it way more often.)
@melody
that was me.
@Argenti Aertheri
this is really off topic, but your avatar looks creepier the longer I look at it.
Marie — I’m going to take that as a compliment. I was going for the Cheshire Cat and he is supposed to be at least unsettling, if not outright creepy.
Regarding boners in public places, can’t say I’ve ever noticed, but I don’t think I’d care much about it as long as it wasn’t flat out indecent. Dude Cassandra got to see far too much of = epic creep. Sorry you had to see that Cassandra.
@Argenti Aertheri
Well, I didn’t mean it as a bad thing, I just hadn’t really looked at it so much before. XD
Facebook statuses. Although, I can’t say these people identify as MRAs, they simply write statuses that espouse the same ideas MRAs do. I’ve gotten into the habit of arguing with them and keeping screen shots of the conversations. Perhaps I’ll put them together in a book someday. Or not.
RE: Kittehs
OT, thinking about when we were talking about the term neckbeard t’other day: I saw a young guy yesterday who literally had one, but knew how to make it look good.
Is that possible? I thought the neckbeard was one of the rare fashions that looked good on absolutely NOBODY! (Not that I disbelieve you; just surprised and having trouble picturing it!)
LBT - lol that was pretty much my reaction!
::am seeing man who looks good with neckbeard::
::it does not compute::
::head explodes::
The guy had the advantage of being good-looking anyway; probably of Greek background (Melbourne has the third largest Greek-speaking population in the world) with a well-groomed mane of hair. The beard was more even than the usual neckbeard: the hair on his cheeks was sort of past stubble but not quite beard-thick, and the hair under his chin was thick but closely trimmed. Plus he had a good moustache. I can’t quite get the description right but it was a good How To if anyone was aiming to grow a beard that way.
Why, you can meet me right here.
Far East, Far Right.
Solidarity against liberalism worldwide.
What are you blathering about, moron?
What’s the matter, can’t read?
More to the point, can you write anything that makes sense? The evidence so far suggests not.
I first ran into them on Reddit, when I first joined Reddit in 2011. The guy I was dating at the time used Reddit a lot (fun fact, he also turned out to be a domestic abuser, but I am sure there’s no correlation, cough). When I first heard of them I was amused as hell that people took them seriously. Their lack of self-awareness was reminiscent of Michael Scott, no exaggeration. I still view MRAs the same way I view any other believers of woo: climate change deniers, anti-vac parents, birthers, and so on.
I run into them on Raw Story, the Atlantic, Mother Jones, and anywhere else that uses Disqus for comments. You click on their Disqus name and you see every other website where they are spouting their bile.
I wanted to let you know that your site is so refreshing after the hate filled sites I have seen belonging to the MRA’s. I first came across these horrible postings and rants when I was reading some Yahoo questions in the what was then known as Women’s Studies. There were a few people there who were genuinely interested in discussing real feminist issues such as rigid gender roles that exclude both males and females; all forms of oppression such as ableism, racism, ageism etc. and of course the ongoing struggles that teenagers face in adjusting to negative media images. There were a tenacious, group of mostly males who would troll and derail and attempt at diologue or discussion. At one point one of the group sent the most horrendous threatening post to most of the feminist regulars. I was truly deranged and again suggested sexual violence as a means of dealing with feminists. Other examples were perpetuating rape myths, degrading women and using a picture of the perpetrator of the Montreal Massacre as their identification picture instead of a avatar.
Thanks again for taking a firm stance against what is clearly a group that is motivated by bitterness.
I was actually lucky enough to see this one coming. My first encounter was a real-life PUA I met through an acquaintance. He was a self-professed psychopath who abused his girlfriend.
I don’t think the MRA “movement” had really gotten going at that point yet, but I saw it coming. All of the guys who hired him (yes, with real money) to teach them “game” were whiny faux “nice guys” who hated women. They were just unbelievably angry at women. They couldn’t make the connection between their rageful, awkward personalities, and being “incel,” as they call it. They thought it was just women being bitchy.
And those are the kind of guys that the original PUA’s made their money of off.
I remember thinking to myself, “Well, this isn’t going anywhere good.”
Looks like my gut was right.
Where did I first run into MRAs? I don’t even remember, but somewhere online, of course, because they wouldn’t dare exit the safe confines of their computer with this shit.
What was my reaction? “Is this shit for real?”
Flash forward to now: Where do you tend to run across MRAs/PUAs/etc or their ideas online (expressed by people who may or may not be MRAs/PUAs/etc)? Everywhere, all the time, nonstop anywhere there is a woman who isn’t completely silent and naked….and even then sometimes…