Category Archives: funny
>Inflatable women: As dangerous as real ones?
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| Beautiful, but deadly. |
Be careful out there, fellas, as you make your way in the brave new post-woman world. Sure, it goes without saying that sexy robot ladies will soon replace real women, and obviously that’s great news for all of us, except perhaps for human females, who don’t really count anyway. But approach with caution; some sex toys artificial female companions can be downright dangerous. Case in point: A recent news story on FoxNews.com from Australia which suggests that inflatable women can be as treacherous as real ones.
A bizarre decision to ride an inflatable doll down a flood-swollen Yarra River in Australia blew up in a woman’s face yesterday when she lost her latex playmate in a rough patch.
The incident prompted a warning from police that blow-up sex toys are “not recognized flotation devices’’.
Police and a State Emergency Services crew were called to the rescue when the woman and a man, both 19, struck trouble at Warrandyte North about 4.30 p.m. Tuesday.
They were floating down the river on two inflatable dolls and had just passed the Pound Bend Tunnel when the woman lost her toy in turbulent water.
She clung to a floating tree, calling for help while the man stayed with her. Fortunately for the pair, a passer-by called triple zero while while a kayaker took life jackets to the pair. Police and the SES crew hauled the water-logged thrillseekers to safety.
Clearly, this is a case of attempted murder. No doubt the young man was the real intended target.
The most ominous part of the report. The final paragraph:
“The fate of the inflatable dolls is unknown,” said Senior Constable Wilson.
In other words, the dolls are still out there, biding their time, just waiting for another opportunity to wreak their vengeance on the human world!
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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.
>Feminist cat ponders how idiotic the herpes and hypergamy discussion has gotten
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| (Note: In cats, tail-lashing is not a good sign.) |
>My favorite oddball critic of the Men’s Rights Movement
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| From Not an MRA |
I discovered an odd little manifesto the other day put forth by a raging antifeminist … who also hates the Men’s Rights Movement. “Not an MRA’s” site looks like a blog, but it’s essentially a long rambling rant cataloguing all the reasons “why I am NOT an MRA.” His basic thesis:
I hate feminism. I hate the destruction it has brought onto our society and culture. I hate male-bashing. I am sick and fed up with all of it. That said - I realize that the MRM - or MRA’s are doing way more harm than good in the efforts of getting rid of these things.
As the lead-in to a manifesto, it’s not quite up there with “a spectre is haunting Europe — the spectre of communism,” but it certainly grabs your attention. As do the illustrations he uses to illustrate his various points, taken from Disney’s version of Alice in Wonderland. (Don’t tell Disney!)
So what exactly does notanmra hate about the MRM? It’s a idiosyncratic list of irritations, some perfectly understandable, some just sort of cranky. Here’s a partial list:
He hates the endless blather about “manginas” and “White Knights,” and the slew of of oddball acronyms that litter most MRA discussions (PUA, MGTOW, MGHOW, NAWALT, and of course MRA). He thinks MRAs cheapen the notion of “male bashing” by complaining endlessly about ads in which men get kicked in the balls are the victims of slapstick violence. He hates the undercurrents of anti-Semitism and generalilzed bigotry that infect some MRA forums. He hates conspiracy theory in general. He hates the endless denunciations of “chivalry.”
Holding doors open for people is common courtesy. If you approach the door first, hold it open for the PERSON behind you. Where I work, men do this for men, men do this for women, women do this for men, and women do this for other women. It’s called being a human being. A few MRA blogs/sites label this as “chivalry” - poppycock. Come on out of that rabbit hole and stop acting like a screwball.
Holding doors open for PEOPLE is not what leads to male-hatred or male-bashing.
He hates that “some MRAs call themselves “”masculists” or “masculinists”. This makes me sick. I have no desire to “follow in the footsteps” of feminism by calling myself this, or even by associating with people who call themselves this.” He thinks all the talk of circumcision as “genital mutilation” is completely backwards, and that the procedure is actually beneficial. (I’m guessing of all his opinions this is the one that gets MRAs most angry at him.)
Of all his various complaints, I think my favorite is this one:
Observations have convinced me that the MRA agenda is not one of getting the laws changed or eliminating male-hatred, but rather - to argue the same points over and over.
Don’t I know it!
EDIT: I corrected a testicle-related error in the text above.
>Unfunny Girl
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| Was it all based on a lie? |
You know what’s always hilarious? Humorless douchebags pontificating on “why women aren’t funny.”
Our text today: A set of comments on the Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) proboards forum. Madashell gets the ball rolling:
In my entire life I haven’t met one single women who is funny especially compared to the numerous men who are able to make myself and many other people laugh. I’m sure this is true for almost all of us.
If you can’t think of a single funny women you’ve ever met, you either 1) have no sense of humor whatsoever, or 2) you’re such a flaming misogynist your brain simply can’t process humor when it comes from females or 3) you live in a hole in the ground eating bugs. Or some combination of the above. In the case of Madashell, I’m guessing it’s a mixture of 1) and 3). (He just seems like a bug-eater to me.)
Now, I’m not even going to bother to provide a little list of women in history who are fucking hilarious, because every single reasonable person on planet earth should be able to come up with a little list of their own.
Instead, let’s hear what the MGTOWers have to say on the subject. Here’s Whytry:
Because laughter is a sign of joy and women aren’t capable of emotion. They’re literally creatures of lust and animal behavior.
Hanzblinx, meanwhile, offers a little list:
1. humor is related to wit which is related to intelligence
2. humor requires seeing the world outside of the 1st person perspective
3. humor is used by men as a tool to attract women by display of wit, however, women attract men with display of skin, no wits required.
Of course, when a woman laughs at your joke, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she actually has a sense of humor. At least according to dontmarry, who suggests that laughter is sort of a female version of a boner:
Interesting theory, but I’m a little stuck on the notion that George Carlin and Rowan Atkinson represent the highest pinnacle of achievement in human humor history.
rebel has a somewhat more elaborate, if somewhat less coherent, explanation:
Because le rire est le propre de l’homme- laugh is specific to man.
MAN is the only creature on the planet that has a capacity for humour and laughter. When you really think about it, humour is a gift from God. It sets MAN apart from all other creatures: on a higher level of existence.
To me, the question is irrelevant. Does my dog have a sense of humor? The question is irrelevant because only Men have a sense of humor. By design.
Adam was the first sentient creature (so they say… I don’t know). Then Eve was produced to provide some blow jobs whenever Adam felt bored. Eve was content to be Adam’s receptacle (in Latin: vagina):she didn’t have to be funny: only have a deep throat. But that was before feminism took the bag away…but humor has not returned…
LOL!!!
“LOL!!!” Really?
I guess I just don’t understand humor after all.
EDIT: Looks like the humor-discussers have discovered this post.
>(Surreal) Dolls on holiday
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I really have nothing to say about this discussion on The Doll Forum: A Meeting Place for Adult Doll Owners & Admirers. So I’ll let “Zara’s” boyfriend/owner/creepy dude explain:
Our first holiday away, just Zara, myself, the van and the open road. We’re off to to visit some friends of Zara and I, spend some alone time and see some sights up and down the east coast. I’ll add photos every week or so of what we got up to and who we met.
Packing the van for the trip invovled more issues than I had first thought. Packing for Zara meant packing for two and she needed more room for her gear than I did.
More creepy photos at the link.
>Men: Do not be hypontized by Kim Kardashian’s boobies into getting a Kardashian Kard
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Consumerist warns that “the reality show star is pimping a new prepaid debit card targeted at kids” — and, presumably, unwary men easily hypnotized by boobies — “that is as bursting with hidden fees as Kim’s shirt, featured prominently on the plastic, is bursting with integrity.” The card costs $59.95 to purchase (including 6 months of monthly fees); monthly fees (after this initial period) of $7.95; ATM withdrawals are $1.50. There’s also a $9.95 (per boobie) monthly boobie maintenance fee. (Ok, one of those fees is made up.)
>Breaking News: Man Oppressed at Safeway!
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| Woman oppressing men. |
Women reading this site may not appreciate just how many ways men are oppressed in our society. So here’s a first-hand report from the battlefront, found on the Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) forum.
Let’s set the scene: our hero is out picking up a couple of things at a Safeway, when the first oppressor of men comes into view:
I walk in and there is a woman with a basket with maybe 10lbs worth of items in her left hand and a small item in her right, she not only walks very slowly but blocks the entire fucking space and almost nails an old man in the back of the leg with the basket. I literally wanted to push her the fuck out of the way.
Our hero manages to circumvent this obstacle without resorting to violence. Then — oh no! — some gay guys come into view! Just so you know, these were REAL gay guys. No, they weren’t actually having anal sex in the store while listening to Cher, but they didn’t need to be for our hero to figure out their secret. You see, our hero has highly tuned gay-detecting abilities.
Then its the two gay guys, how do i know they are gay? Please don’t say to me the PC bullshit you cant tell a dude is gay by how they act, feminized lispy speech has never EVER let me down 100% of the time, they were gay.
That settled, we move on to their dastardly behavior:
They happen to separate and take all of the spots at self check out making me wait even though they were clearly “together” then walking out these same two are lallygagging like the woman blocking me from exiting the store, I stood there for 5 seconds and just looked at them, like the self-importance meter is just running off the charts here!
Yes, yes it is.
Oh but now we come to the kicker. Brace yourself. It’s: A TEENAGE GIRL CROSSING THE STREET!!!
If you’re not already sitting down, please do so at once, as reading about this encounter may well chill you to your very bones:
Driving back in the rain, visibility and braking power obviously reduced, I am making a left hand turn on A GREEN FUCKING ARROW, and little girl who is probably 15-16 years old is walking across the street on a DON”T FUCKING WALK sign … I slam on my brakes and FUCKING WAIL ON MY HORN at her. She gave me the “Doe in the headlights” look and just blinked at me, that’s it.
The worst part of it? Our hero is literally prohibited — by evil feminist laws and by the feminazi press — from simply running her down.
Sad part I can tell you what happens if I hit the girl, the headline would read “Man mows down helpless 15 year old girl, and is not in the least remorseful”. Also my insurance policy would have to pay a massive settlement out to her regardless because she was injured or killed even if i am found 99% not at fault a 1% at fault claim would still probably net her or her family a massive amount of money that no one deserves for this Darwinian fucking reject.
Oh, the humanity!
Brave, brave man, please continue Going Your Own Way.
