Fake Spooge and Rape Jokes: A new frontier in Men’s Rights activism?
So over on the Men’s Rights subreddit – you know, the old one, not its newfangled would-be replacement – the fellas are complaining about how oppressive it is for a university to put up signs suggesting that consent is good and rape is bad.
Clearly, these signs are an insult to non-rapist men, in the same way that “don’t feed the animals” signs in zoos are an insult to those of us who aren’t planning to feed the animals.
Happily, the dude calling himself anti-everyone has come up with a way to fight back against this feminazi tyranny:
Is the Poster Revolution moving to its next stage?
Posted on August 28, 2012, in antifeminism, are these guys 12 years old?, douchebaggery, misogyny, MRA, oppressed men, precious bodily fluids, rape, rape jokes, reddit and tagged anti-feminism, antifeminism, rape jokes, reddit. Bookmark the permalink. 208 Comments.
I’m just transferring a load of old MiniDV home movies to my hard drive, and I’m wincing at the sight of my then toddler son drinking milk and being fed milk chocolate - at the time we had absolutely no idea that he was totally dairy-intolerant, to such an extent that the last time he accidentally had anything with milk in it, he was practically bedridden for three days.
But you can’t beat yourself up about this kind of thing: not only did you not know, you had no plausible way of knowing. So what could you do?
Oh, Nanasha. That’s awful.
I lost a kitten this spring… I’ll never get to know why. I spent money until we came to the point where they couldn’t offer me any hope that more money would do any good, and it was money I didn’t have anyway.
It’s the saddest. (she was a black cat, too, with a tiny little white clerical collar)
It’s so sad that critters that do nothing but spread love everywhere they go live such a short life.
Just to connect this back to thread a little bit…
It was the first time I ever gave myself permission to cry when I was sad. I just sat in my bathtub and sobbed for an hour. It was incredibly cathartic.
It was the first time that I realized my dad, who I generally think of as pretty sensitive, is completely unable to do anything in the face of sorrow and mourning. I told him what had happened and he left the room to go get my mother.
I told him my cat had died, and he had to leave the room and go get my mother.
(and ice cream)
That’s what the patriarchy does to men.
In the end there were only two things she really enjoyed. Being outside in the sun, and being held. She would still purr, right to the end. So I took her into the sun and held her while she slipped away.
A few months before a close friend’s twelve-year-old had lost her cat, the one that she’d had since she was a baby. And she was completely broken up about it. And, being religious, she asked about cats and heaven. I told her, I don’t know about that, but I know that while he was here with you, you made every day heaven to him.
Best wishes to you and your cat, Nanasha. You haven’t failed, you’ve done your best to do right by your kitty. That’s all anyone can do.
Nanasha, you didn’t fail your cat! You rescued him and gave him a great home, and you’re doing the right things to get him treated.
Same for you, Blitzgal! It’s really hard to handle sick cats because they’re so good at hiding their sickness, and how could you have known the food was toxic?
I understand the feelings of guilt; I felt them too when my cat Bobo got sick, and I still feel them a bit to this day. I think the guilt is just a sign that you care for your cats deeply and want to do everything you can for them.
It sucks that your cat is sick, Nanasha. I hope it’s nothing serious and they get better soon.
Ugh, that poor kid. Does that mean even most baked goods are out for him? It’s really tough with dietary restrictions. I know one girl who is allergic to those pheno-somethings that are in soda (and lots of other things). There are so many things she can’t eat. I think it’s not even an allergy, her body literally cannot process them.
I’m better about Max now. It’s been four years. He was likely hit by e.coli or salmonella, in Iams food, which I will never buy again for the rest of my life. It was about a year after the other pet food outbreak, which was something that caused kidney failure. Logically I know that I’m last in the “blame” category — honestly, after blood tests and everything we did at the vet, the vet should’ve known it wasn’t pancreatitis. But Iams is number one to blame. They killed my cat.
But it’s really hard to get over the fact that I was literally poisoning him every day. Sophie is lucky; when she got sick she got the straight-forward symptom of bloody diarrhea, so when I took her in, they instantly said, “Infection.” THAT’S when I put it together and realized it was the food, but by then Max was dead.
I’ll be in Chicago starting tonight, for Chicon (Shaennon, are you attending?). So I’ll be a bit less active.
I just feel all guilty for the times I shushed him. He is part Siamese and very chatty but his meow sounds like a baby’s cry. It actually used to make my breasts let down when I was lactating and breast feeding my daughter. I also feel guilty because we live in an apartment and not a house, so his territory is much smaller. And the upstairs neighbor’s cat is a territorial asshole but we do not have the funds or finances to move.
I am also set to take unpaid maternity leave in less than two months. At that time, only my husband’s part time job will be bringing in money. We already spent a good chunk of my leave savings for his operation, and if he needs another, we wont be able to cover rent and food.
Plus, my work has changed my insurance requirements, so now I will be forced to pay my entire 1600 dollar per month premium to go on leave and still have health coverage. And did I mention that I have PCOS and Hashimotos Thyroidosis so I need health care to cover my meds and labs to keep me and my family healthy?
Blah. It just goes to show that life has a way of kicking you extra hard when you’re down.
Ah, Nanasha, that sucks. But indoor cats can live happy lives, even with a small territory. Make sure he’s got comfy places to lie down, stimulating toys (that red dot is Teh Enemy!), and lots of love. Maybe this is a temporary thing and not another blockage. If it’s hot where you are, maybe it’s a complication from the weather. It does happen, sometimes.
*bawls*
Ugh, don’t get me started on the crapfest that is the state of healthcare in America. People should not be forced to choose between medical care and food.
HUGSHUGSHUGS Nanasha and Blitzgal.
That’s so sad to me that men still feel so much pressure to always be stoic and hide their pain. My dad’s like your dad. He always puts on a brave face and even makes jokes whenever something upsets him, and it’s probably because the whole “boys don’t cry” rule was a bigger deal to baby boomers and older men. He didn’t cry at his mom’s funeral, and instead took it upon himself to comfort other people, because he thinks that a man’s job is to always be the strong one. He did cry, however, right after the tornado, when I first got a hold of him. He thought we were dead, so finding out that we were alive made him so relieved, he cried. For once, I actually comforted him and made jokes to help him feel better.
A few months later, I comforted a carpet installer who cried because of his experience. He felt bad that he had heard a man screaming, trapped under rubble, and he was unable to lift the heavy debris to rescue him. He told him, “Hang on, I’m going to try to get you some firefighters or someone with heavy equipment to help” and the guy said, “I’m scared, don’t leave me”. But the guy had to leave him there alone so that he could go find extra help. He told me how bad he felt about it, but I said “You did what you had to do so that he could actually get dug out”. But that guilt was just eating him up to know the man felt alone and he had to leave him anyway.
That’s just what people do, though. They are so hard on themselves and blame themselves for circumstances that are beyond their control. It’s easy to reassure other people that feel guilt but it’s hard to be as forgiving to yourself. I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry to blitzgal, Nanasha, David, and Wetherby who feel guilt like that. None of you all did anything wrong. It’s just that life is unpredictable, and there’s no way to prevent everyone you care about from ever suffering. I wish that were possible. Instead, bad things happen, and then we go back in our minds trying to figure out what we could have done differently to change the outcome.
I’m sorry for all you’re going through, Nanasha. Not only do you have all of the physical parts of pregnancy, but now you’re under financial pressure and your poor kitty is sick. *Hugs*
Man. Crying at work again. At least I can blame it on preggo hormones.
Big Jedi mind hugs and baked goods of choice to everyone who has lost a critter. We had to put down our mini schnauzer almost three years ago. We did everything - just absolutely *everything* (spent ALL our savings, every dollar) to save him and I still cry myself to sleep some nights thinking we could have made him All Better if we’d just kept fighting.
It’s just so easy to love pets so, so hard.
You guys all sound like wonderful pet owners and I’m sure you gave your animals very happy lives.
Nanasha! Hugs and hope for you and your kitty!
I don’t dare read this thread in full, I’ll be crying on the train …
It’s just those darn onion-chopping ninjas again.
My husband just sent me an update. They have Neb on IV fluids to help with the dehydration and will do a physical exam once he starts holding down food. So fat they think that there is no blockage, so I am crossing my fingers.
*crosses fingers for Neb and Nanasha* I hope the rest of the news is good!
@ Blitzgal
I’m not crying, it’s just been raining on my face.
Face-rain is therapeutic.
@ Nanasha hope it all works for you & Neb.
I hope Neb does okay. Sending good wishes your way that he recovers well and doesn’t have another blockage.
I’m trying to send my cat Smudge through the internet for hugs, Nanasha. But she won’t fit in the USB port.
Oh, good luck to the kitty!
And as for the black cat thing, I want a black cat. Screw people’s stupid superstitions.
Nanasha, sending big hugs to you and Neb. Neb was lucky to have found you guys.
Hugs for everyone!
If the vet doesn’t think it’s a blockage, then that’s positive news. Doesn’t mean that Neb is out of the woods, but it’s a step in that direction. Sincerest wishes that the news keeps improving. *crosses toes for good measure*
Suuuuuper happy news, all. I just got off the phone with my husband and Neb is doing well. The IV fluids flushed out his system and rehydrated him and they gave him some tummy soothing medication. He is definitely NOT blocked and just got home and is purring in my husband’s lap. We are going to try and add a wet food feeding to the evening as well as morning and give him minimal kibble for his grazing during the day.
All of your thoughts and positive energy is soooo appreciated. I am just happy that our little fuzzy family member is home!
Woohoo! http://www.smileyvault.com/albums/userpics/12075/CatParty.gif
Nanasha, that’s great news! Happy purring kitty!
Nanasha, that’s great! I can only imagine your relief, and I’m so glad that Neb is home with his family. Pet him for me, and I imagine for most everyone else here too.
Great news is great!
That’s brilliant news - you must be so relieved.
Oh, thank goodness he’s not blocked!! This is excellent news.
Yay!
Awesome. Hooray for kitty!
YAY KITTY IS OKAY!!!
That’s great, Nanasha, I’m very happy for you and your kitty! *cheers*
w00t for the kitty! If kitty does belly rubs, give the kitty one from me?
Yay for happy purring kitties!!
All the kitty stories are making me weepy. Damn you, manboobzers, you’ll make my mascara run!
I still blame myself for my kitty’s kidney failure - for giving him dry food, for not realizing he was getting sick sooner, for not being able to save him at the end. I had him for 19 years - it’s natural to blame yourself, and if you’re a good pet person you’ll always second guess yourself to some extent, but unfortunately we can’t control everything. Nanasha - you’re doing everything you can. I’m just glad you finally figured out what was wrong.
The conversation has moved on but NWO, you’re pathetic.
Yay kitty!!!
Yay for Neb & Nanasha! Hugs to all the wonderful friends o’ pets!
Nanasha, that’s wonderful news! Whatever Neb’s favourite cuddle/pat/game is, give him an extra one from me, please!
::bounces up and down on chair and knocks pens onto floor::
This would be the weirdest trial ever:
Judge: Case number XXXXXXXX, Plaintiff v Defendant. Please announce.
Plaintiff: I am plaintiff your honor.
Defendant: I am defendant your honor.
Judge: opening statement, Plaintiff.
Plaintiff: Your honor, we are here today because after intense negotiations, I and the Defendant signed an agreement saying I could touch the breast. After signing, I attempted to touch the breast and the Defendant refused to honor our agreement. I am seeking court costs and the Court to enforce the contract and order the Defendant to let me touch the breast.
Judge: You mean a chicken breast?
Plaintiff: No, her breast, on her chest.
Judge: Are you joking? Please tell me you are joking.
Plaintiff: No your honor, she signed this agreement and I demand you enforce the agreement.
Judge *checking number of minutes until retirement…*: No.
So true, Cassandra. My darling girl left us three years back - she lost weight rapidly, I got her tested and it was a massive cancer on her liver, spreading all around. Nothing we could do except give her palliative treatment, and she only stayed about three weeks after the diagnosis (which was pretty much the timeline our vet said to expect). But I still feel bad that she passed from heart failure: I didn’t recognise its symptoms, only that she was in pain, and she passed with one mighty kick, lying on my lap in the back of my sister’s car as we were taking her to the vet to be euthanased. If I’d known she was entering that phase I’d have sent her Home sooner.
Happier story: this morning Cat 2 ambushed Cat 1 (who’s quite elderly) and gave her a biff across the nose. Cat 1 gave her a couple of good ones back and Cat 2 instantly did the screwed-up-face “Mum! She hit me!” thing. Oy.
I’m glad to hear your kitty is better, Nanasha.
(do you prefer to be called dualityheart now or is Nanasha still ok?)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v382/Oni-Angel/IMG_0323-1.jpg
Neb is chilling on his cushy “throne” at the door. He’s got curiously human-like eyes- when he looks at me, it’s like he knows what i’m thinking. I’m just hoping that we don’t have more sickness issues tonight. *crosses fingers*
@Myoo- I don’t mind either way- when I wanted to update my Gravatar, “Nanasha” was taken (boo).
Nanasha, he’s gorgeous!
Cat stories: bringing people together since the Egyptian empire (possibly earlier).
@KittehServant
It was cancer that got my kitty in the end - after getting the renal failure under control he was doing so well for nearly 3 years, and then boom, cancer. By the time we found it it had already metastasized, so it was too late to do much, and he hated going to the vet so much that I decided not to put him through weekly chemo. Amazingly enough he lasted about 3 months with massively metastasized cancer in all his internal organs, and didn’t seem to be in any pain until the last couple of days. I guess by then I was already an expert kitty nurse. He died at home, in my arms. I second guessed myself about that too, whether I should have taken him in to be put to sleep, but given how much he hated vets I think allowing him to pass at home in my arms where he felt safe rather than at the vet with a catheter in (they insisted they’d have to do that, which is one of the reasons I chose not to go that route) was the right decision.
I miss my kitty. I felt horribly guilty when I had to have her put down last year. And it wasn’t because I thought I had failed her or anything like that. I knew there was nothing I could do for her, I just wanted so badly to be able to explain to her that I was only trying to spare her the pain she was going through, that I could make her understand I was doing my best to do the right thing. I just didn’t want her to hurt anymore.
I’m sorry, kitty.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v382/Oni-Angel/IMG_3690.jpg
This is actually a better picture. It’s next to impossible to take a good picture of a black cat.
Neb is a cutie, and I hope a healthy one now! So lucky you adopted him… It IS hard to take a good picture of a black cat, even a striped black tabby like my Hazel. The light worked for that one, and I like the fact that Buster is there in the background.
<3 So cute, cloudiah! One day, we hope to have a two-cat household, but it's just not fair with the space we have right now.
Those are some super cute kitties.
Hey guys - cats with depression:
http://depressioncat.tumblr.com/
It’s like the cats really understand.
(Is it ever appropriate to add a smiley to a comment about depression?)
Oh Gawd, these cat passing away stories are killing me. I love my two boys more than I love myself. I don’t know how I will face it when it’s time for them to depart
Nanasha, I’m late, but I’m really glad to hear that your kitty is OK.
Pet ALL the kitties!
This morning my older kitty was feeling affectionate, so she climbed up into my arms when I woke up and cuddled right up to me. When I had to get up I noticed my other kitty, and she meowed piteously to demand equal treatment.
When I get home later they’ll follow me around the yard while I work. They love to spend time with me.
Glad to hear your kitty’s ok Nanasha.
Speaking of, does anyone want a pair of cats? The little morons knocked another drinking glass off my desk last night, which I didn’t notice until I was half-way through the shards in my bare feet. (VERY lucky I didn’t get sliced)
I had a serious case of Cat Envy this morning. After a couple of springlike days it’s plunged back into serious wintry stuff - cold and pouring. Cat 2 was curled up in her padded basket looking very comfy and positively smug while I got ready to trudge out into 2 1/2 hours’ commuting on public transport.
@kittehServant
This seemed relevant
Also this
ROFLMAO totally relevant, Myoo, totally!
… thank goodness Cat 2 can’t actually talk in Human.
Back from Chicago. Yay for happy kitties!