The Ultimate Nice Guy ™ Makes a Music Video

A veritable anthem for average looking guys with nothing particularly interesting about them who are pissed off they can’t date women much more conventionally attractive than they are.

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Posted on February 14, 2013, in are these guys 12 years old?, creepy, entitled babies, evil fat fatties, evil sexy ladies, hypocrisy, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, nice guys, playing the victim, transphobia, YouTube and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1,019 Comments.

  1. Wow back to you Cassandra.

  2. This just makes me a bit sad. I’m on meds that forbid drinking. Not that I’m huge into it anyway, but hubby misses it.

    Fortunately, I have awesome friends. When drinking breaks out, they make me mixed non-alcoholic drinks so I don’t feel left out! :D

  3. @emilygoddess

    Nah, you have to mix Capri Sun with Captain Morgan for that really classy college drinking experience.

    That might actually be worse and I thought nothing would top it. Thankfully, I am finally grown-up enough to not want to try. :)

  4. I’ve never had Captain Morgan. Is it really that bad?

  5. LBT, this is why EANABs are important. I learned that in college (from a professor, actually): Whenever you serve booze, you’re supposed to also serve Equally Attractive Non-Alcoholic Beverages, so in case someone present doesn’t drink it’s not like “You can have a cabernet sauvignon…or a diet Coke.”

  6. RE: katz

    Yeah, I love that idea. Unfortunately, I never really encountered it until I was hanging with my current crop of friends. Until then, I’d just sit awkwardly with my water. (It doesn’t help that even when I COULD drink, I never much cared for the taste.) But now I have friends who make me delicious fancy drinks out of various kinds of juice, syrup, and seltzer water! :D Delicious!

  7. Sometimes EANABs are nicer than the alcoholic drinks! They’re always cheaper. Hee hee.

  8. I’m loving these ideas for mac and cheese, I’m just hoping it’ll be okay to eat with my stupid fatty liver! I’d like to try that recipe.

    I figured out last night part of what it is that freaks me out about cooking - partly ‘cos I never learned it at home, but partly it’s that it takes me right back to high school and doing Home Eco lessons in an atmosphere were everything had to be done right first time, under time pressure, and for marks. Way not to get people to enjoy learning the skills involved. I still feel like cooking’s something I’m being watched and judged for, and I hate the fact that if it’s stuffed up, the food’s wasted. It also doesn’t help that Mum’s even less adventurous with food than I am, and more than likely to show only polite approval of anything different (even pasta’s outside her usual preferences).

    It makes it all the stranger when I know that these inhibitions are gone on the other side. I mean, last night across the veil Mr K and I spent most of the day in the kitchen, cooking fruit to preserve and with roast beef roasting for our dinner.

  9. It doesn’t help that even when I COULD drink, I never much cared for the taste.

    Right; “I just don’t feel like it” should be a perfectly acceptable reason not to drink and you shouldn’t feel like you’re being punished with boring beverages as a result.

  10. One of the things I like about oolong-hai drinks is that if someone doesn’t want booze you can just hand them a glass of tea without the booze, and it’s not a big deal or something that makes people feel awkward.

  11. @CassandraSays

    I hate any rum that isn’t coconut-flavored, so I really hate it. The boyfriend likes all rum and he thinks Captain Morgan is fine. So…maybe it’s that bad?

  12. RE: Kittehs

    I’ve become recently sadly unadventurous with food. Partly due to budget, but also due to coming out of the ED slump; new food is always harder for me to buy, and isn’t worth the lunacy that sometimes ensues. But macaroni and cheese with vegetables and yogurt is BOSS. Also well-balanced and approved by my meal plan! *thumbs up*

  13. I do tend to prefer dark rum and Captain Morgan seems to be white rum, at least the bottles I’ve seen in bars. Overall though I’m clueless about rum, since I never make drinks with it at home and only order it with certain kinds of food.

  14. Oolong-tinis are the best.

    Here’s the Baby Kitty Dash in her favorite spot.

  15. @LBT

    Yogurt, cheese, and noodles are a great combo! My mom makes this dish with a yogurt-based cheese sauce and mushrroms. It was one of my favorite things as a kid. (My sister won’t eat mushrooms so I also associate it with her spending dinner elsewhere, which was fun when I was little.)

  16. Aw, fluffy kitty scarf.

  17. I have hope that the Biscuit will continue to be a shoulder cat like she was.

  18. Mushrooms are good, but they pretty much absorb the flavors that are around them. Adding stuff like sun-dried tomatoes WITH them though… mmm-MMMM!

  19. Eventual size is key here, too. Main Coons are gorgeous, for example, but I don’t know that I’d want a 30 pound shoulder cat.

  20. Aww, kitty scarfs are cute. Buster kinda does that, but she wants to drape around the front which just means she keeps sliding off. Goofball.

  21. The cool about pasta is that you can add almost any veggie that you happen to have. Also beans if you want to bulk it up for cheap! Cannellini or borlotti are good.

  22. Katie’s always liked being the kitty scarf but she won’t sit still! Trying to walk with a cat standing wobbling around and facing backward on your shoulder (“putting her best face forward” as Mr K called it) is not recommended.

  23. this is why EANABs are important. I learned that in college (from a professor, actually): Whenever you serve booze, you’re supposed to also serve Equally Attractive Non-Alcoholic Beverages, so in case someone present doesn’t drink it’s not like “You can have a cabernet sauvignon…or a diet Coke.”

    YES to all this. I don’t like being left out, and also having something fancy and special-occasiony to drink keeps me from coveting other people’s alcoholic beverages, which means I can enjoy the party instead of fighting the urge to leap off the wagon. And it prevents people from grilling you about why you’re not drinking, although I haven’t had that problem since my social circle and I got to our later 20′s.

    As for the salad, I like one with walnuts, goat cheese, and pears or grapes. I’m also a fan of mandarin oranges and feta together, but I’m not sure what nut would go with that. Pistachios, maybe?

    Our everyday salad is pistachios, dried cranberries, and balsamic, but that doesn’t meet the cheese requirement.

  24. And it prevents people from grilling you about why you’re not drinking

    This is part of why I like seeing oolong-hai and similar drinks served at parties - pour just the tea in a highball glass, just like all the other drinks, and it makes it harder for nosy, rude people to pester the people who don’t want booze.

  25. Cassandra: I think Capt. Morgans is a golden rum, with spices. All in all I think spiced rums are an abomination, and I abjure them.

    I like rum. I like spices. I like to add them myself. The Commercial Versions all tend to be heavy-handed and based on cheap rum, i.e. they suck.

  26. So, like berry-flavored commercial vodkas. Vodka infused with fruit at home - awesome. Commercially made fruity vodka? Blech.

  27. Correction, he really is a funny bastard:

  28. Stop trying to sneak in and get the last word, shitlord. No one cares who you find funny, it’s probably juvenile dick jokes. Yawn.

  29. Yeah, NNY if you think it’s funny, it’s pretty much guaranteed not to be funny.

  30. What is funny is the latest entry on cloudiah’s blog, about Standard Vaginal Access.

  31. Didn’t we already talk about that particular rapey video earlier on thread?

    Is there anything NNY doesn’t fail at?

  32. Argenti Aertheri

    Cuttlefish?

    Can one fail at cuttlefish?

  33. NNY and MRAs in general could.

    Just think how the human population’s intelligence, character and empathy would increase if MRAs’ brains were replaced with cuttlefish’s.

    It’d be pretty disastrous for the cuttlefish population, though.

  34. Honesty, I kinda consider “There’s Me” from Starlight Express to be a contender for the Nice Guy anthem.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkWq7bjl7CY

    I first heard this song as a teen, and really like it. At the time, it kinda spoke to me as a geeky and socially awkward teen. It was only much later that I looked into the song’s background and reevaluated my stance on it.

    Most American version’s have removed the song, due to the plot getting reworked. It is only performed in some overseas performances or on a soundtrack. The reason it ceased to exist in the live performances is because it was actually sung by a violent sociopath (who apparently sings it for no reason at all). When the story was reworked to not have an antagonist, it was removed.

    When I realized it was sung by the villain it made me rethink what it was about. On the surface it is just a pretty song about unrequited love. Underneath that, it has some of what is currently known as the typical nice guy thinking. I am … ambivalent about the song. Part of me still is sentimental about it. And the rest of me can’t really enjoy it in the same way now that I can see a sinister aspect to it.

    I got an error when i tried to post this. if it ends up as a double post i apologize.

  35. Argenti Aertheri

    Kitteh — I missed your post until now (thanks for that moreorlessdan!) — cuttlefish really are smarter than MRAs, I hung out at that tank for awhile because that little cutie was following me around. Getting checked out by a cuttlefish was awesome, they’re adorable and clearly more aware of their surroundings than MRAs!

  36. Hey, cool, being watched by a cuttlefish!

    Fleas are smarter than MRAs. so cuttlefish would have no competition.

  37. I remember seeing this video and feeling kind of confused. Mainly because I never had that kind of a problem when I moved there in the first place. I had just gotten out of a 3 year relationship, and was pretty committed to just not giving a fuck. Fast forward to February, and I had gone from having just a couple partners, to having been in all sorts of crazy group shenanigans and what-have-you. It’s not that hard (no pun intended) to do, provided that you have some measure of respect, and an adventurous attitude.

    Shitty people in general seem to have this idea that respect is this high and mighty holy grail, reserved only for a select few. (You know, as opposed to something that people should offer to each other mutually, by default) These people then go out, disrespect people and are shocked, shocked and appalled when folks are shitty back to them. They then get together in their Internet rage closets and make up conspiracy theories about why them, as “rugged individualists” are oppressed by a world that doesn’t pander to their insecurities.

    And as far as the whole “consent” thing goes, it’s not a complicated concept. If someone wants to have sex with you, it’s usually pretty clear that they do. If it’s not clear, flirt with them and find out. If it’s still not clear after, move on and find someone with better communication skills.

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