Search Results for christopher in oregon
Christopher in Oregon: “Nature makes women BUTT UGLY fairly early in life to prevent them from breeding.”
Apparently this is what Christopher of Oregon thinks happens to women when they hit the age of 40.
Time for another visit into the mind of Christopher in Oregon, a confirmed bachelor best known for posting long screeds on his friend MarkyMark’s blog about how ugly and smelly and disgusting women and their various orifices are. Today, his topic is old women, by which he seems to mean all women above the age of 35 or so.
I’m not even going to bother to comment on this one except to say: if you’re a heterosexual man, with an interest in sex, and you actually believe that all women over the age of 40 are icky and ugly and smelly and wear dentures, you’re not only delusional, you’re probably going to have a very sad second half of your life. (And I’m guessing the first half probably won’t be so great either.)
Here’s Chris:
Face it: Nature doesn’t want CRUSTY OLD WOMEN having children! Basic biology, folks, and I’m no expert on biology. It’s just common sense! …
Old women are supposed to be…..old women. Crabby old women. Ugly old women. Nasssssty old tobacco-chewin’ women. …
A woman should be done spewing out babies by the time she is thirty, and no later. By forty, a woman is OLD! Look around you. Look at the forty-year-old women you see every day. See any of them you want to screw? Any of them? Didn’t think so. (Blow-jobs aren’t good either- their dentures might lock up on your weinie! Imagine THAT 911 call!)
Nature makes women BUTT UGLY fairly early in life to prevent them from breeding. Kind of hard to get pregnant if you’re so gruesome no man in his right mind can get a boner over your appearance. But, women, in their arrogance, fail to realize that men are stimulated VISUALLY!
If you look like an old hag, then the penis just naturally will NOT stand to attention. You’ve got to have some sort of good looks to get our motors running, ladies, and if you look like a bag of wrinkly cellulite, then you had better face it- no one wants you! Contrary to the lie feminists have been telling you, fifty is NOT the new thirty! A fifty-year-old woman has less sex appeal than a sheep. (Ask anyone in Montana.)
I am constantly amazed at the post-forty women that have come on to me lately. Give me a break! Do they think I’m blind?
Ick! …
A woman of forty is not sexual in any sense of the word. She is useless for breeding, and her sex appeal is GONE! Why have women fallen for the lie that they remain sexual into their sixties and seventies? They are NOT! They are putrid, smelly shells of their former selves! Nothing more! By that age, a woman looks like the package her body once came in. All sagging, wrinkly and disgusting! …
If you just have to get laid, and you can close your eyes, and hold your breath (pew!), there is no easier lay than an old woman. They are so desperate. So pathetic. So easy.
So gross.
There’s more where this came from over at MarkyMark’s.
Warts and Peace: A trip into the fevered imagination of Christopher in Oregon
I am NOT illustrating this post with a picture of genital warts.
Not that long ago, the Man Going His Own Way who calls himself Marky Mark made an unnerving announcement: due to worries about his secret identity being uncovered, he was shutting down his blog!
Like a lot of Marky’s readers, I was alarmed and saddened by this news: Marky Mark, after all, was one of the most delightfully loopy MGTOW bloggers out there, as well as a regular publisher of the writings of the mysterious anti-sex crusader Christopher in Oregon.
Happily, Marky changed his mind almost instantly. He’s back, and posting like a motherfucker. And today, he graced us with one of his best posts ever: Genital Warts, by Christopher in Oregon.
Regular readers of Man Boobz know they’re in for a treat. For newcomers to the writings of Christopher in Oregon, gird your loins, and your stomach, for a truly amazing outburst of disgusting misinformation! (For actual, legitimate information on genital warts, try here or here.)
Chris opens with a bang:
The effects of an aging or weakened immune system can be profound when it comes to genital warts. They can mass in huge cauliflower like piles, and grow to gigantic proportions. Once the immune system is on the decline, all bets are off. From what I’ve heard and read, the smell from genital warts can be horrific. Poop and other filth gets trapped beneath the blossoming tops, and is impossible to clean.
Combine that with Herpes sores, and you’ve got yourself quite a mess. I can only imagine trying to treat the pain of Herpes sores that are located on massive genital warts, all the while my penis is oozing green puss.
And now I’ve got that image in my brain.
So what can one do about these horrific dangers?
If you would be clean, if you would be healthy, if you would be wise, then renounce all sexuality!
Well, that’s one solution, I guess. It seems a tad drastic. It’s true that most sexually active people will get infected with Genital HPV (Human Papillomavirus) at some point, but in most cases this infection will go away within two years, and only 5% or so will develop warts. Which won’t look anything like Chris’ nightmare scenarios above. (Holly Pervocracy has a great little post on genital warts scaremongering here.)
But Chris goes further:
I admit I was deceived in recent years, and thought I could engage in the use of pornography.
WRONG!
ALL sex leads to physical decay.
Is Chris really saying that people who masturbate to porn can give genital warts … to themselves?
Do you really want to lie in bed some day as an old men with twenty pounds of quivering warts dangling from your groin like some beast from “The Blob”? Maybe it will grow eyes and stare back at you…..?
Now Chris seems to be writing a screenplay for a David Cronenberg movie in his head.
It isn’t good enough to stay single. It isn’t good enough to not date. If a man would be strong, if a man would be wise, he must clear his mind of lust. Stop viewing porn. Stop watching ANY modern films or television shows.
STOP LISTENING TO ANY MODERN MUSIC, which seeks to enslave you with filthy lyrics and that filthy “beat”!
I listen to four to eight hours of classical music a day, sometimes more. It purifies the mind and soul.
Here is the most effective way to use classical music as a boner killer.
So, aside from a bit of the old Ludwig Van, how else can you strengthen your anti-sex resolve? Buy a bunch of medical textbooks and look at the pictures.
I remember the first time I heard about genital warts. I had gone to the Oregon State University Medical School bookstore, and bought some hideously expensive books on STDs. I was young. I was horny. But, I was still religious. I wanted to get laid. But, something was holding me back.
Regular readers of Christopher in Oregon may already have some theories as to what this might be, but let’s continue:
My parents warned me about women. They warned me about diseases, yet what did my parents know about HPV or Herpes? Nothing. Nor did I. I just knew that sex carried the risk of the STDs that were present back when my parents were young. Little did I suspect that the landscape had changed dramatically. New bugs abounded, like HIV, HPV, HSV and HCV.
So, I cracked open the books. I purchased more books. …
Then I saw them.
Warts. Big, juicy, oozing warts.
Crap. I remember the first time I looked at a picture of a homosexual man whose crotch was covered by a mass -a literal MASS- of genital warts. It looked like a Broccoli patch. Flowering all over the place. I was both mesmerized and horrified. I’d never seen anything like it in my life. My eyes were frozen to the page. The warts were just everywhere!
He was either reading medical textbooks or playing Halo:
Back to Chris:
I came to one conclusion right away: I would never engage in sexual intercourse again as long as I lived. (I had only tried it once when I was 21 with a Mormon woman)
Somehow I suspect that didn’t work out too well for her either.
Something in me triggered a defensive mechanism of sorts. (Sort of like what happens when you are out in the forest and you see 1200 pounds of angry grizzly bear barreling towards your sorry ass. You climb a tree and hope for the best)
That’s right. Mormon women are like BEARS!!
I knew I didn’t have all of the answers, but in spite of my lust and constant erections, I knew I didn’t want THAT sort of thing obscuring the view I had of my tallywacker.
Let’s just skip the bits in which Chris waxes poetic about cancer, penectomy, tongues falling off, and people “trying to yank off bloody chunks of warts” from their crotches.
The grand conclusion:
Now, I don’t know about you, but I like my body. Granted, it’s not as young as it once was. I can’t get erections as easily as I used to, and sometimes not at all. But it’s THERE. Dangling at half mast, but it’s still MINE. All mine. It’s not lying in a garbage can in the operating room waiting to be thrown out with the other medical waste.
So, think long and hard boys. Whether you are Christian, Jewish, Deist or whatever. I have come to the inescapable conclusion that there IS a God, and He does NOT wanting people perverting His system of procreation. I do believe He has a temper, as well as a slightly warped sense of humor.
The cost of sex is simply too high these days. Keep it in your pants.
That’s right, fellas: God wants you to hate and fear women and their icky bodies. He invented sex, but doesn’t want you to engage in it. He invented the penis just so he could decorate it with warts.
Is God a Diety Going His Own Way?
Clear your brain with this peppy little tune from days gone by:
GirlWritesWhat’s delusional defenses of MGTOW misogyny. Also: Mary Daly, and why the moon is not a potato.
That’s no moon!
So yesterday I had a strange conversation, of sorts, with blabby FeMRA videoblogger Karen Straughan, aka GirlWritesWhat, via private message on Reddit.
Given that, in the recent WoolyBumblebee controversy, she put herself in the position of defending Men Going Their Own Way against WBB’s mostly accurate attacks on them, I found myself wondering what she might think of my post yesterday on the MGTOWers who felt it was appropriate to let a four-year-old-girl drown because she might grow up to be the next Betty Friedan or even the next — gasp! — Amanda Marcotte.
I was especially interested in what she might have to say about MGTOW elder Zed, the friend and mentor of her A Voice for Men boss, Paul Elam; in the MGTOWforums discussion, you may recall, he was firmly in the “don’t rescue little girls” camp.
Quote of the day: “We’re approaching peak vagina on television, the point of labia saturation.”
Ladies, please! We don't need to see THAT.
Quiz! Who said the following, in reference to the presence of women on television?
Enough, ladies. I get it. You have periods. … [W]e’re approaching peak vagina on television, the point of labia saturation.
Was it?
- W.F. Price of The Spearhead
- Christopher in Oregon, legendary vagina-hating Man Going His Own Way
- Reddit commenter VjayjaysAreIcky69
Trick question! It was actually Two and a Half Men co-creator Lee Aronsohn, complaining to The Hollywood Reporter about the female-centric sticoms that have popped up of late. (There’s plenty to complain about when it comes to shows like Whitney and 2 Broke Girls, but “the main characters have vaginas” ain’t it.)
In a keynote address at the Toronto Screenwriting Conference, Aronsohn also defended his show’s tendency to portray women in a less-than-flattering light:
Screw it. … We’re centering the show on two very damaged men. What makes men damaged? Sorry, it’s women. I never got my heart broken by a man.
So brave, Aronsohn, so brave, standing up to the Matriarchy like that!
On ThinkProgress, Alyssa Rosenberg lays into Aronsohn:
[H]aving to hear that ladies have menstrual cycles, take birth control pills, and enjoy sex is just unbearable, right? Because even though the number of female characters on television tends to hover in the low 40 percent range, we’re just saturated with vaginas, because god forbid stories about men and their ish don’t absolutely dominate the media? Because even though those shows Aronsohn’s complaining about have actually created more writing and directing jobs for men than women, and resulted in some really awful portrayals as a result, we couldn’t possibly let women come to expect that they’ll have access to stories both about them and by them, could we? Because where would that leave poor, suffering, disadvantaged American men?
And then she takes on the entertainment industry in general, for tolerating his troglodyte views:
[T]hat Aronsohn is dumb and woman-fearing enough not just to believe this, to blithely admit he believes it to a major publication tells you everything about how cosseted Hollywood’s disgusting sexists are. You want to know why we get what we get on movie and television screens? … Because there are, apparently, no consequences in Hollywood for being perfectly open about how much you despise women’s bodies and the contours of women’s lives.
Maude Lebowski, what do you have to say about all this?
Arky-May Ark-May, we hardly knew ye! Also: Stinky vaginas.
Christopher in Oregon learned everything he knows about female anatomy from old Lysol ads.
One of my favorite manosphere blogs is no more. Its proprietor, worried that he might get “outed” in real life, decided to shut it down and delete everything. In deference to his desire for privacy, I will refer to him here only as Arky-May Ark-May. He will be missed.
Luckily, before the shutdown, I managed to grab one last post, a little gem titled “The Vagina, by Christopher in Oregon.” Chris, a longtime friend of Arky-May, is something of an expert on this particular subject, in his own special way. As a man who is very definitely Going His Own Way, it seems clear that he’s had little or no experience or contact with actual vaginas. But he seems to think about them more than perhaps anyone on earth. His thoughts are not kind thoughts.
So let’s pour one out for Arky-May’s lost blog, and enjoy Christopher of Oregon’s ruminations:
Men spend most of their lives trying to get back into the hole they shot out of, so they need to stop for a moment and analyze it. The vagina, I mean.
Here we go.
At first glance, it’s mighty ugly. Floppy lips dangling down like bat wings. The entire region pelted with ugly pubic hair. It’s greasy, and the more aroused and broody she becomes, the greasier it gets.
The greasier? The greasier? You’ve never actually touched one, have you? Reading Christopher of Oregon on the vagina is a bit like listening to a high school student who hasn’t done the reading try to bluff his way through a teacher’s question on Macbeth.
Have I mentioned the smell yet? Let me tell you, it’s horrifying. I have an up-scale Sushi restaurant near my home. I love Sushi, by the way. But, on the edge of the parking lot of the afore-mentioned restaurant, they dump the scraps and unsold fish into a dumpster. I walked by there the other day when it was about 85 degrees, and the smell just about knocked me over. The first thought that occurred to me was that it smelled just like every vagina I’ve ever known.
Chris, clearly the only vaginas you’ve ever known have been fish vaginas. (Do fish have vaginas? They must, right?)
Now, a skunk smells bad. A dead possum smells bad. So does a cat box. But a vagina? That goes beyond bad. And, no, it’s not “musky” or “tart” as some women like to say.
It’s bad. Really bad. I don’t think we have single word in the English language that adequately describes the foul, rancid odor of a woman’s vagina.
Also, they are full of cooties! And centipedes! And mousetraps! And LIBRARY FINES!
There is something patently WRONG with something that produces such a noxious stench that it could, as the old saying goes, knock a buzzard off a shit-wagon at fifty paces.
I’m pretty sure that even the foulest vagina in the history of the world wouldn’t be able to knock a buzzard off a shit-wagon at any distance further than a couple of yards. Buzzards love shit-wagons!
I just ask you fellows to put that hairy hole in proper perspective.
Huh. I thought Harry Hole was a fictional Norwegian detective.
Ah, well. I’m off to lunch with a greatly reduced appetite.
Say hi to Arky-May for us.
The Regender Challenge
The other day Darksidecat introduced me to what I now consider to be the Greatest Webpage Ever (this week): Regender, a handy tool that will take any web page and, well, regender it, turning male pronouns and references into female and vice versa. It even works with names.
Following Darksidecat’s lead, I have started plugging the writings of some of my favorite manosphere misogynists into the magical regendering machine. The results are, well, instructive. And frequently hilarious. As DSC noted, Roissy and MarkyMark are perfect for this sort of treatment. As is, I discovered, MarkyMark’s longtime pal Christopher in Oregon. Here’s what happens when Christopher of Oregon becomes Christine of Oregon with the help of regender, and all the horrible shit he wrote about women becomes the horrible shit she wrote about men:
Men are whores. They are far more likely to have STD’s than women. Be aware of this. Handle with extreme care. Men are filthy, and they will lie about their infections. Condoms will NOT protect you. …
Men are walking cesspools of filth! Most of them have or will have a permanent STD infection. It is unavoidable. These are FACTS, and not the rantings of an unstable misandrist.
(I’m a very STABLE misandrist, thank you kindly)
Men are DIRTY creatures, pure and simple. Be dignified, and don’t lower yourself to engaging in any filthy behavior with them. You WILL be infected with the diseases they are carrying. A moral, dignified woman does NOT rut like an animal with one of these creatures. Sexual intercourse and oral sex are filthy, disgusting activities, and ruin a woman morally. They spread disease.
Elevate yourself above such filth of the flesh. …
Do not lust after men in your mind. Masturbate only as a last result to relieve tension. Do not lust after men sexually. It weakens you.
Goddess made woman in Her image, and men was made in the image of Satan. Squeal all you want, but history proves me right. A man is a test; a stumbling block for woman. Our life is an adventure. A journey. A pursuit of our creator, and a pursuit of excellence in our personal lives. A man and his filth is part of the obstacle course set before us. If we are wise, and avoid them, we will grow stronger as a result. We will finish the race successfully.
Men was not put here to support us as such, and we will only grow stronger if we AVOID his snares. ..
Christine in Oregon
Woah. Critics of Man Boobz often say that feminists are “just as bad” as the guys I quote. Well, if they were, the posts on their blogs would look a lot like this regendered post. I ask all of you: have you ever seen something so grotesquely misandrist on any feminist web site? I thought not.
Here’s a challenge for all of you: See if you can come up with a regendered post that tops this one from “Christine in Oregon.” You can draw from old posts of mine, or go poking about in the manosphere yourself. Post your results in the thread below, along with a link to the regendered web page you got them from. I’ll highlight the best in a future post.
>Living Bitter and Alone is the Best Revenge
>
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| Soon you too will be able to snub women LIKE A BOSS |
>What Women Think of Men, Apparently
>
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| She’s thinking unkind things about your penis. |
Yesterday we met Christopher in Oregon, a fellow who feels that other fellows might want to avoid all contact with women, who are all, as he put it, “whores … walking cesspools of filth … DIRTY creatures, pure and simple.”
Christopher was such an articulate spokesman for his cause that I thought I’d bring him back for an encore. Today, we learn that the hatred doesn’t only flow one way. In fact, he suggests in another epic comment on Marky Mark’s blog, women think as poorly of men as he thinks of women. Not just some of them, but every single one of them:
ALL women hate ALL men ALL of the time! (most of them can keep it hidden for some time.)
This is a CARDINAL RULE! If you can’t accept it, you’ve already lost the game. You’re rat-fucked! You might as well just give up and go hang yourself by getting married!
In case we forgot that women aren’t too be trusted, he gives us a little refresher course in the Evil That is Woman:
You can’t deal with women safely because we aren’t playing by the same rules. One must keep in mind that the three primary characteristics of All women are as follows:
1) Immoral (or amoral, if you prefer)
2) Dishonest
3) Selfish
Many other adjectives would apply, but these three are the main attributes of women. Since this is true, and the laws are on their side, a man can’t hope to break even in any dealings with women. It’s impossible.
Now we come to the crux of his argument. More sensitive men may wish to sit down at this point, and perhaps move to protect their testicles. For what Christopher has somehow figured out about what goes on inside the dirty, filthy, selfish, dishonest, immoral, whorish minds of women while they’re having sex with you will shock you to your core.
Every time you are humping and grinding and snorting like a rutting pig on top of a woman thinking you are SUCH a stud (in all fairness, you probably are NOT) she is:
1) Bored
2) Faking it
3) Disgusted
4) Glad she took her valium first
5) Fantasizing about a black man
6) Fantasizing about a new car
7) Fantasizing about the butch lesbian that drilled her last week with a ten-inch strap-on for six hours
8) Laughing inside about your pitifully small penis
9) Comparing you unfavorably to any one of her previous two-hundred partners
10) Wishing you would go even faster and trigger … a massive coronary
11) Fantasizing about the neighbor’s German Shepherd
12) Thinking about how your deodorant just ain’t making it
Sorry to burst your bubble. I’ve heard this from women. It’s all a sick joke. You are NOT Don Juan, and they don’t view you as such. In her mind, you are a disgusting, smelly pig, and you are invading her body with that…..thing.
Well, if that’s what he thinks women think of men, no wonder he wants to have nothing to do with them.
It’s kind of sad, really.
On a not-entirely-unrelated note, if you scroll up to the top of the page on Marky Mark’s blog on which this comment from Christopher is posted, you will note that Mr. Mark has worked himself into a lather over a story in The Onion. I can’t quite tell if he thinks it’s real — I mean, how could he? — but he acts as though he does. He even writes up a point-by-point rebuttal and everything. It’s so cute! As he puts it, unaware of the irony, “I can’t make this stuff up. … I can’t! No matter how hard I tried, I could not make this up.” Well, no. That’s why the folks at The Onion make it up for you.
>Shakespeare before hoes
>
A female friend of mine asked me the other day how Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) handle the question of sex — as in, how can these guys deal with their desire to have sex with women if they swear off women? It’s a good question, and one I still don’t have a comprehensive answer to. Some pine for sexbots, some masturbate, some seek salvation in supposedly more pliable non-Western women.
And then there’s Christopher in Oregon. He’s got his own plan, which involves motorcycles, Beethoven, and Robert Frost. Here’s how he spelled it out in a mini-manifesto he posted as a comment on Marky Mark’s blog.
First, Christopher defines the problem, as he sees it:
Women are whores. They are far more likely to have STD’s than men. Be aware of this. Handle with extreme care. Women are filthy, and they will lie about their infections. Condoms will NOT protect you.
So what can a poor boy do?
The simplest and wisest choice is to be as I am- a gender separatist. I have no social dealings with women (with the exception of my two lesbo neighbors).
LEAVE THEM ALONE, fellows!
But some of them are kind of, like, all sexy and shit.
Women are walking cesspools of filth! Most of them have or will have a permanent STD infection. It is unavoidable. These are FACTS, and not the rantings of an unstable misogynist.
(I’m a very STABLE misogynist, thank you kindly)
Women are DIRTY creatures, pure and simple. Be dignified, and don’t lower yourself to engaging in any filthy behavior with them. You WILL be infected with the diseases they are carrying. A moral, dignified man does NOT rut like an animal with one of these creatures. Sexual intercourse and oral sex are filthy, disgusting activities, and ruin a man morally. They spread disease.
Ok, ok. But what if you still want to rut like an animal with filthy women? Sublimate, sublimate, sublimate. And pull out some of the books you picked up in that one English-for-non-majors class you took in college.
Elevate yourself above such filth of the flesh.
Listen to classical music. Read Shakespeare and Frost. Meditate. Take long walks. Ride a motorcycle or bicycle. Think good thoughts. Purify yourself from the evil in our society.
And avoid any unnecessary stimulation:
I very recently tossed what little pornography I had left. Amazing the effect on my mind and soul. Do not lust after women in your mind. Masturbate only as a last result to relieve tension. Do not lust after women sexually. It weakens you.
Remember, women aren’t just filthy whores, they’re Satan’s representatives on earth:
God made man in His image, and women was made in the image of Satan. Squeal all you want, but history proves me right. A woman is a test; a stumbling block for man. Our life is an adventure. A journey. A pursuit of our creator, and a pursuit of excellence in our personal lives. A woman and her filth is part of the obstacle course set before us. If we are wise, and avoid them, we will grow stronger as a result. We will finish the race successfully.
Women was not put here to support us as such, and we will only grow stronger if we AVOID her snares.
Christopher, I support you in your quest. Please do not have sex with any women. The thought of you reproducing, even accidentally, is truly scary.
Let’s shame some virgins!
NOTE: THAT HEADLINE IS A JOKE. IT’S APRIL FOOL’S DAY.
In today’s edition of “Make Shit Up About Man Boobz,” we have this highly upvoted comment from the Men’s Rights subreddit attacking me (us?) for all the evil virgin shaming we supposedly do around here.
The total ridiculousness of this comment is fairly obvious. But I would like to take a moment to clarify a few things.
Being a virgin, or celibate? Not inherently funny.
Being a virgin, or someone who has had literally one sexual encounter with a woman ever, and writing post after post about how evil and icky vaginas are in an attempt to get other men to swear off women forever – that’s pretty funny. That would be a bit like me writing a travel guide to Denmark, or Albania, or any other place I’ve never been to.
Having trouble getting a date? Not inherently funny.
Having trouble getting a date because you’re a loathsome tool who hates women? Funny.
Using a sex toy? Not inherently funny.
Dudes pontificating about how sex toys and sex robots will soon make icky real women obsolete? That shit is fucking hilarious.
Also, sex toys themselves? Yes, they can be funny. I mean, the legendary Fleshlight is a disembodied vagina/mouth/asshole-replacement in the form of a giant clunky flashlight-shaped thing. That’s sort of funny. Attaching this giant clunky thing to an iPad so you can pretend that the iPad (or at least an image on it) is giving you a blowjob? That’s comedy gold!
Here are some other sex toys that are hilarious and/or seriously disturbing, courtesy of Scary Sextoy Friday, perhaps the world’s greatest blog. (All links are NSFW.)
Vibrators shaped like Santa Claus.
A dildo designed to look like poop.
Sorry. I got carried away with the links. That blog is like crack.
