Search Results for label/cupcake
>Feminists: Lizard-brained sperm-hunters
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| Men: Do not do this. |
Our good friend Herbal Essence — the Spearhead commenter, not the shampoo — is back with some profound insights into the true nature of feminism. Forget all the stuff you may have learned in your Women’s Studies courses. Forget what you read about on Feministing. “Feminism” is just a convenient rationalization for a primal female hunger. A hunger for cupcakes? A hunger for shoes? No, silly — a hunger for sperm. Feminism is all about getting hold of sexy, sexy sperm. Herbal explains, in a comment that garnered him 81 upvotes from the manly men on The Spearhead:
Feminism is not a worldview based on coherent thought. It is the desires of the female lizard-brain rationalized. Feminism is based on a woman’s reproductive strategy – my vagina makes me special, I must obtain sexy sperm, I deserve to be protected, and I deserve to get resources.
I don’t know about “protection” and resources for women and their special vaginas, but you might think that there would have to be a more efficient way for the ladies to get sperm. After all, most guys produce that sexy stuff by the bucketful, and the vast overwhelming majority of the poor little sperms that men produce so prodigiously end up dying unsung and unrealized in condoms or kleenex.
Apparently, though, feminists only want sperm when it comes as a part of a package deal which involves being married to a captive sperm- and money-producer. Because there is nothing — besides sperm, of course — that feminists like better than the traditional nuclear family. That way they can sit on their asses eating bon bons and trying on shoes — all paid for by their long-suffering husbands — while waiting for the next injection of sperm. (You thought feminists likes paying their own way and having their own careers? Ha! Shows how much you know.) Here’s Herbal again:
The whole of Feminism was designed to “free” women from the “restrictions” of traditional society so she could obtain sexy sperm, and then providing a social construct so she could get security and resources without being in the confines of a nuclear family. Thus making more sexy sperm and self-indulgence available. Lastly, that she “deserves” all that because she has a vagina.
And all those traditional-nuclear-family-loving women who claim not to be feminists? Fellas, they’re either lying to themselves, or lying to you.
Women don’t choose to believe in feminism. Feminism is a rationalization of their lizard brain. That’s why you can talk to women who will swear up and down they are not feminists, yet they refuse to give ground on any of the privileges that feminism gave them. The programming is already in her, feminism is just the means to make it a reality. You might as well try to convince female peacocks not to mate with males with impressive plumage.
Fellas, I think Herbal here has made it pretty clear why you need to protect your sperm from the feminists. If you make the mistake of actually having sex with one of these creatures, keep a bottle of tabasco sauce handy, and squirt it into your used condoms to make sure she doesn’t fish them out of the wastebasket later to use for her own evil ends. And if you’re jizzing into kleenexes, flush those down the toilet, pronto. If you just throw them out, beware: gangs of feminists rove the alleys of America, much like raccoons, raiding trash cans in search of sexy, sexy manstuff.
Be careful out there.
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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.
>Ruthless Lady-People: Short-haired, smelly, muffin-eating lady-people
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| Women not only eat muffins — they decapitate them! |
Over on an angry-man site that would be called The Pearhead if you removed an “S” from its name, a fellow named Alcuin has a few complaints about the ladies. Let’s listen in, shall we?
Western women are ruthless. They will destroy a family with a lifestyle divorce, and ruin her husband without thinking of their lives. …
Ah yes, the old lifestyle divorce. There’s little that Western women enjoy more than a nice divorce. Well, aside from accusing men of rape, and playing slutty dressup, and going to work:
They will accuse a man of rape when he did no such thing so they can get revenge for hurt feelings or to cover their own infidelity. They will dress like whores, then accuse men of being perverts and of sexual harassment. They will take all the cushy jobs and complain when men refuse to take the shit jobs, but act like “boys” instead.
But Alucin is just getting started. It gets worse:
They will cut their hair short, get fat, avoid shaving (their legs? their face?), smell, and then complain that men go for Asian women or none. They will take advantage of manginas for years, and give nothing in return for such dog-like loyalty. They will take jobs away from men, and become lazy, useless muffin-eaters.
That’s right. You heard him. Women will actually CUT THEIR HAIR SHORT just to torment the men of the world with its shortness! Yet they will REFUSE to shave the hair off their legs! Which are FAT and STINKY! Also MUFFINS! They EAT MUFFINS! I’m not sure if this is supposed to be some sort of lesbian innuendo, or whether Alucin is referring to actual literal ingestion of delicious blueberry muffins, but I don’t care. Either way, MEN ARE CLEARLY BEING OPPRESSED!
Why does writing this blog always make me so hungry? First, it gives me a craving for cupcakes, and now for muffins, the cupcakes’ more demure cousin, the Cathy to its Patty. .
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*Yes, that was a Bioshock reference.
>The Cupcake Files, Part Three: MGTOW Proboards Forum Edition
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| Delicious, but deadly! |
As I pointed out in the previous two installments of The Cupcake Files, the Men Going Their Own Way movement has taken the deliciously innocent word “cupcake” and turned it into a synonym for an evil-she-bitch-from-hell.
Today, quotes on “cupcake” from the MGTOW proboards forum. (I’m too lazy to provide links for every example; they all can be found by searching for the word “cupcake” on the forum.)
Cupcake: Uses more than her fair share of health care resources.
[O]utside of sports medicine, 90% of health care is consumed by cunts. Men usually die from our first encounter with the system (heart attack, accident, violence, etc.) It is the cunts and their breeding that devour most of the health care dollars spent in this country. Probably even higher when you consider most men have chronic conditions as a result of either dangerous work to support cupcake or they live in total and abject stress due to having a manipulative withholding shrew at home who has racked up so much debt the man knows he’ll be working until he is 104.
Cupcake: A monster disguised as a cupcake.
Ever notice how the less attractive females generally have the better personalities? Why do you think that is? Do you think unattractive females are genetically predisposed to have fun, laid-back personalities?
No, of course not. They have better personalities because they are making up for a flaw in another department. They are getting away with the maximum they can get away with, but underneath that fun cupcake is a MONSTER.
Cupcake: Should probably be forbidden from using Facebook
If cupcake has a facebook account you are basically giving her a free pass to cheat on you. She will have old flings on her account, past men she was interested in, all it takes is for you to piss her off one day and she will have one these men provide a “shoulder to cry on”.
Cupcake: Has a loaded gun, and it’s pointed at YOU, mister!
The gun is loaded, cocked and pointed at your head. Cupcake has had her finger on the trigger from the moment you said “I do” and she will pull it the moment you cease to entertain her.
Cupcake: Tired of having sex with you, but enjoys luxury cruises.
I will admit, it feels good to eat, have sex, fall asleep, then wake up in again for morning sex but what guys don’t realize is that this does not last indefinitely .
Eventually, you get pussyfied from all this pleasure and you start putting up with more and more female demands as her pussy chips away at you to the point where you wake up one day and you have 3 kids, no friends, no hobbies, you’re overweight, she refused sex for the second week, and now you have to go to work in a few hours to put in a 12 hour shift because cupcake wants to go on a luxury cruise where she just might have sex with you; but even then, it won’t be all that great because she’s now overweight and don’t care.
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>Roissy Reconsidered
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| No date tonight! |
The other day I made some critical remarks about some dating advice from pickup guru Roissy — specifically, a list of things prospective Don Juans can do to keep the ladies “on their toes” and generate a certain level of mystery, always enticing to the fairer sex. I have reconsidered one suggestion of Roissy’s, which I now realize is sort of brilliant. That is:
Cancel dates. (Make the reason seem apparently legitimate, but suspicious.)
Your success in using this tactic, of course, is largely dependent on how good you are at concocting vaguely plausible but not completely convincing excuses for canceling. Here are several to get you started:
“Sorry, babe, can’t make our date tonight. I’ve lost all my shoes.”
“I’m going to have to take a raincheck on our weekend getaway in the Berkshires, snuggle-bunny. I have gotten my head stuck in a bucket.”
“Oops! No go for tomorrow, sugar-tits. I just realized our salsa dancing class conflicts with my speech at the 93rd Annual Dirndl Appreciation Society meeting.”
“Tuesday night is out, cupcake. I have climbed up a tree and I just can’t seem to figure out how to get back down.”
“I feel terrible about this, stinky, but there’s no way I can make it tonight. I have completely lost my sense of direction and have been walking in circles for the past ten hours.”
You may use any of these you want. You’re welcome! And suggest your own, if you wish.
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