Man Boobz Mad Libs #1: Love is a battlefield
Chicago New Wave pioneers Phil 'n' the Blanks (pictured above) want you to FILL IN the blanks.
Last night, 540-or-so comments into the Atheist Elevator thread, Ion took a moment to school us all in the cold, hard realities of love in our time. Offering his own formerly flailing but now highly successful sexual career as evidence of this theories, he explained why it’s better to be called creepy than courteous. And apparently, acting like a five-year old will score you heaps of hot poon. Who knew?
As much as I learned from Ion’s autobiographic account, I feel as though there is much more wisdom to be gained from reading the stories of other commenters here. So, using Ion’s tale as a template, I would like to offer the first in what I hope will be a long and successful series of Man Boobz Mad Libs. Simply fill in the blanks in the text below to tell your own tale of heartbreak and triumph, and post your results in the comments below. We will all be the wiser for it.
You know what’s funny? You try to come off as [ ] and [ ], but in fact, I actually used to think like you when I was younger and [ ]. I bought into all the “men are [ ], men are natural [ ]” crap spouted by feminist [ ] and their neutered mangina [ ]. I was concerned about not coming off as [ ] or creepy. I was courteous and [ ] and [ ], I respected women, but I forgot to respect [ ]. And while the [ ] boys, playa gangstas, and abusive [ ]bags were [ ]ing around town with an “I take what I want” attitude and a new [ ] on their [ ] every week, I was hearing “Wow, you’re a great [ ], but I like you as a [ ]. Well, see you later, gotta go have [ ] with the [ ] boyfriend I’ve been complaining to [ ] about!”
So you’re right about the [ ]-puffing part, but not so much about the being [ ]. I’m less [ ] now than I ever was. I put myself [ ]. I don’t apologize for being a [ ]. It took me a while to [ ] up, but I did. And let me tell you, things are better than [ ]. I got my first [ ] after acting ‘inappropriate’ and going for a [ ] the night we first met. A day later, she was the one would wouldn’t [ ] me [ ]. So much for “[ ] give in because of [ ] pressures”, I guess. Second [ ], in college, I [ ] like a five-year old [ ]. Totally out of character, even I was ashamed of my [ ]. Afterwards, she was [ ] me to hang out. Sometime later, I met [ ] I really [ ]. Like an [ ], I decided to play it cool, be [ ], be [ ], take [ ] slowly. Guess what? Zero interest. Learned my lesson then and haven’t [ ] back. As for “friends who will [ ] me”… I don’t know what the [ ] are like where you live, but the [ ] I know just don’t fit your [ ] [ ]. Also, currently half my friends are [ ]. Weird, huh. But uh, keep telling yourself you’re so much better for being a neutered [ ]. I’ll be busy having [ ] in the [ ] world meanwhile.
Like this:
Posted on July 7, 2011, in alpha males, antifeminism, bad boys, creepy, douchebaggery, I'm totally being sarcastic, mad libs, manginas, nice guys, sex, thug-lovers, vaginas. Bookmark the permalink. 136 Comments.
In a pinch, any list of 55 words will do.
I apologize to the Bernese Mountain Dog community! You are lovely and wonderful doggies and I am sorry that I slighted you.
@David
You forgot “for our children.”
David - OMG that was awesome! Best one yet! Like such as!
I have to get this off my chest.
I am WAY too pleased with myself for having provoked this from Ion. I had no idea it would become something everyone here could enjoy but I’m quite happy it did.
You know what’s funny? You try to come off as [alpha] and [beta], but in fact, I actually used to think like you when I was younger and [gamma]. I bought into all the “men are [delta], men are natural [epsilon]” crap spouted by feminist [zeta] and their neutered mangina [eta]. I was concerned about not coming off as [theta] or creepy. I was courteous and [iota] and [kappa], I respected women, but I forgot to respect [lambda]. And while the [mu] boys, playa gangstas, and abusive [nu] bags were [omicron]ing around town with an “I take what I want” attitude and a new [xi] on their [pi] every week, I was hearing “Wow, you’re a great [rho], but I like you as a [sigma]. Well, see you later, gotta go have [tau] with the [upsilon] boyfriend I’ve been complaining to [phi] about!”
So you’re right about the [chi]-puffing part, but not so much about the being [psi]. I’m less [omega] now than I ever was. I put myself [a]. I don’t apologize for being a [b]. It took me a while to [c] up, but I did. And let me tell you, things are better than [d]. I got my first [e] after acting ‘inappropriate’ and going for a [f] the night we first met. A day later, she was the one would wouldn’t [g] me [h]. So much for “[i] give in because of [j] pressures”, I guess. Second [k], in college, I [l] like a five-year old [m]. Totally out of character, even I was ashamed of my [n]. Afterwards, she was [o] me to hang out. Sometime later, I met [p] I really [q]. Like an [r], I decided to play it cool, be [s], be [t], take [u] slowly. Guess what? Zero interest. Learned my lesson then and haven’t [v] back. As for “friends who will [w] me”… I don’t know what the [x] are like where you live, but the [y] I know just don’t fit your [z] [alphabet]. Also, currently half my friends are [descriptors]. Weird, huh. But uh, keep telling yourself you’re so much better for being a neutered [are]. I’ll be busy having [friggin'] in the [ridiculous] world meanwhile.
You know what’s funny? You try to come off as [lichi] and [persimmon], but in fact, I actually used to think like you when I was younger and [mangosteen]. I bought into all the “men are [carambola], men are natural [jackfruit]” crap spouted by feminist [citron] and their neutered mangina [dragonfruit]. I was concerned about not coming off as [arugula] or creepy. I was courteous and [zuchinni] and [rapini], I respected women, but I forgot to respect [brassica]. And while the [cauliflower] boys, playa gangstas, and abusive [broccoli]bags were [nappa]ing around town with an “I take what I want” attitude and a new [cabbage] on their [eggplant] every week, I was hearing “Wow, you’re a great [apricot], but I like you as a [nectarine]. Well, see you later, gotta go have [rhubarb] with the [escarole] boyfriend I’ve been complaining to [carrot] about!”
So you’re right about the [kohlrabi]-puffing part, but not so much about the being [turnip]. I’m less [beet] now than I ever was. I put myself [celeriac]. I don’t apologize for being a [scallion]. It took me a while to [chive] up, but I did. And let me tell you, things are better than [leek]. I got my first [rutabaga] after acting ‘inappropriate’ and going for a [yam] the night we first met. A day later, she was the one would wouldn’t [pumpkin] me [cucumber]. So much for “[raspberry] give in because of [lingonberry] pressures”, I guess. Second [gooseberry], in college, I [elderberry] like a five-year old [quince]. Totally out of character, even I was ashamed of my [peach]. Afterwards, she was [apricot] me to hang out. Sometime later, I met [olive] I really [caper berry]. Like an [tomato], I decided to play it cool, be [strawberry], be [apple], take [orange] slowly. Guess what? Zero interest. Learned my lesson then and haven’t [cranberry] back. As for “friends who will [cucumber] me”… I don’t know what the [celery] are like where you live, but the [lettuce] I know just don’t fit your [squash] [melon]. Also, currently half my friends are [mushroom]. Weird, huh. But uh, keep telling yourself you’re so much better for being a neutered [bean]. I’ll be busy having [pea] in the [pear] world meanwhile.
Ooops misspelled zucchini and got cucumber in there twice. Fun anyway.
Haven’t we all?
@Ion,
What “feminist” would that be? Christina Hoff Sommers? Camille Paglia?
You know what’s funny? You try to come off as [misandrist] and [opressed], but in fact, I actually used to think like you when I was younger and [USian ]. I bought into all the “men are [intelligent ], men are natural [custody battle ]” crap spouted by feminist [ pussy pass ] and their neutered mangina [child support ]. I was concerned about not coming off as [ scare quotes ] or creepy. I was courteous and [lying women ] and [spitting], I respected women, but I forgot to respect [ false rape accusation ]. And while the [ cock carousel] boys, playa gangstas, and abusive [thug]bags were [PUA]ing around town with an “I take what I want” attitude and a new [evil cupcake ] on their [ princess] every week, I was hearing “Wow, you’re a great [mangina ], but I like you as a [ fymynyst]. Well, see you later, gotta go have [ divorce ] with the [government] boyfriend I’ve been complaining to [welfare ] about!”
Just got back from kirbywarping around town, did I miss anything?
You know what’s funny? You try to come off as [a sort of half-Jane Russell, half-Squeaky Fromme] and [one-eigth Siberian jumping toad], but in fact, I actually used to think like you when I was younger and [fulla beans]. I bought into all the “men are [jumping toads], men are natural [hemp woven serapes]” crap spouted by feminist [cryptozoologists] and their neutered mangina [hairpies]. I was concerned about not coming off as [Kinicke from Grease] or creepy. I was courteous and [fulla beans] and [a hidey-toes], I respected women, but I forgot to respect [my l'il ding-a-ling]. And while the [rent] boys, playa gangstas, and abusive [Glad]bags were [toddl]ing around town with an “I take what I want” attitude and a new [mini punching bag] on their [keychain] every week, I was hearing “Wow, you’re a great [shoe salesman], but I like you as a [floor manager]. Well, see you later, gotta go have [a fest fest] with the [noodler] boyfriend I’ve been complaining to [Squeaky Fromme] about!”
So you’re right about the [hairpie]-puffing part, but not so much about the being [fulla beans]. I’m less ["same as it ever was"] now than I ever was. I put myself [in a wee l'il mole hole]. I don’t apologize for being a [shoe salesman]. It took me a while to [filler] up, but I did. And let me tell you, things are better than [you]. I got my first [commendation from Harvard] after acting ‘inappropriate’ and going for a [hidey-toes] the night we first met. A day later, she was the one would wouldn’t [fuck] me [gently with a hairpie]. So much for “[Plus-size gas station attendants] give in because of [Funyun] pressures”, I guess. Second [verse, same as the first], in college, I ['M ENERY THE EIGHTH I AM, ENERY THE EIGHTH I AM I AM] like a five-year old [puddin' eater]. Totally out of character, even I was ashamed of my [hairpie]. Afterwards, she was [doing the potty dance at me and saying "Don't you want to hang out? to get] me to hang out. Sometime later, I met [a hairpie] I really [wanted to fill with beans]. Like an [virgin], I decided to play it cool, be [cool], be [Kool and] take [a puff of a Kool] slowly. Guess what? Zero interest. Learned my lesson then and haven’t [slapped] back. As for “friends who will ['buy shoes from'] me”… I don’t know what the [jumping toads] are like where you live, but the [small amphibians] I know just don’t fit your [Western] [riding boots]. Also, currently half my friends are [fulla beans]. Weird, huh. But uh, keep telling yourself you’re so much better for being a neutered [ENERY THE EIGHTH]. I’ll be busy having [beans] in the [bean] world meanwhile.
If you just put the word “smurf” in all the blanks, you get something quite amazing.
You know what’s funny? You try to come off as amused and mocking, but in fact, I actually used to think like you when I was younger and covered in bees. I bought into all the “men are coffee; men are natural rich, warm, full-bodied blends that can keep you up all night” crap spouted by feminist know-what-I-mean elbowers and their neutered mangina manwiches. I was concerned about not coming across as crawly or creepy. I was courteous and not-spit-stained and possessed of beautiful table manners. I respected women, but I forgot to respect the cosmos, man. And while the fanboys, playa ganstas, and abusive teabags were dancing the coochie conga around town with an “I take what I want” attitude and a new CAR! on their FANTASTIC SHOWCASE! every week, I was hearing “Wow, you’re a great violin player, but I like you as someone who does not actually have to play the violin slightly out of tune in my ear every second, but-no-you’re-great-I-swear, Ow! Well. See you later, gotta go have… coffee… with the currently on fire-and no, absolutely not an excuse I just made up! What gave you that idea?-boyfriend I’ve been complaining to the fire department about!”
You know what’s funny? You try to come off as [Amanda Marcotte] and [Jill], but in fact, I actually used to think like you when I was younger and [Jennifer P]. I bought into all the “men are [Holly], men are natural [Ozymandias]” crap spouted by feminist [Sadie Doyle] and their neutered mangina [Jaclyn Friedman]. I was concerned about not coming off as [Joe] or creepy. I was courteous and [Susie Bright] and [Jezebel], I respected women, but I forgot to respect [Pam]. And while the [Mary] boys, playa gangstas, and abusive [Rob Tisinai]bags were [Echidne]ing around town with an “I take what I want” attitude and a new [Hugo Schwyzer] on their [Thomas] every week, I was hearing “Wow, you’re a great [Dan Savage], but I like you as a [Tintin]. Well, see you later, gotta go have [Kate Beaton] with the [Cara] boyfriend I’ve been complaining to [Jessica Valenti] about!”
So you’re right about the [David Futrelle]-puffing part, but not so much about the being [Ami Angelwings]. I’m less [Melissa McEwan] now than I ever was. I put myself [Samhita]. I don’t apologize for being a [Johnny Pez]. It took me a while to [Cassandra Mogyorody-Cosgrave] up, but I did. And let me tell you, things are better than [Kate Harding]. I got my first [Gabby] after acting ‘inappropriate’ and going for a [Jill] the night we first met. A day later, she was the one would wouldn’t [Ginmar] me [Liz]. So much for “[Mariko Passion] give in because of [Jeff Fecke] pressures”, I guess. Second [Bonnie], in college, I [Ginger] like a five-year old [Rachel McCarthy James]. Totally out of character, even I was ashamed of my [Gloria Steinem]. Afterwards, she was [Carol Adams] me to hang out. Sometime later, I met [Rachel Carson] I really [Val Plumwood]. Like an [Sheila Watt-Cloutier], I decided to play it cool, be [Germaine Greer], be [Marion Zimmer-Bradley], take [Ursula K. Leguin] slowly. Guess what? Zero interest. Learned my lesson then and haven’t [Marjane Satrapi] back. As for “friends who will [Julia] me”… I don’t know what the [Betty Friedan] are like where you live, but the [Andrea Dworkin] I know just don’t fit your [Yoko Ono] [Sarah MacLachlan]. Also, currently half my friends are [Alice Borchardt]. Weird, huh. But uh, keep telling yourself you’re so much better for being a neutered [Philip Pullman]. I’ll be busy having [Jean Auel] in the [Artemisia Gentileschi] world meanwhile.
“During my own college days, misspent in a feminist stronghold ninety miles south of San Francisco, I observed backsliding impulses among even the staunchest “sisters”, a yearning, one might even say craving, for men who weren’t (I often heard them use this word) wimps. Gloria Steinem would go ashen at the sight of this river of liberal-arts cooze virtually throwing themselves at males who hadn’t succumbed to the program and were thus capable of ardor in their fucking, men who were (by feminist definition) pigs. In fact, the weak-willed males, hang-dog looking with scraggly beards and wire-rimmed glasses, so sympathetic to the feminist struggle, received the major share of female contempt. They were tolerated as toadies and taken to bed as cut-rate dildos.”
That’s by Adam Parfrey. He’s a self-appointed troublemaker and an enemy of the religious right (though that’s not absolutely correct b/c it’s more like they decided he was their enemy after he went and did stuff of which they didn’t approve) but I don’t know on what basis he could be described as a feminist. He might be one, but he might as easily be a person who would find that designation objectionable. I have no information either way and would like to hear from somebody who does; b/c when Ion says (in so many words) “Adam Parfrey is a feminist” I become suspicious.
Certainly he sounds here like yet another fellow whose college experiences were unsatisfactory because he discovered that he couldn’t hook up with girls
who werewhom he considered hot enough. (I’m translating freely but I think that’s the gist.)If you just put the word “smurf” in all the blanks, you get something quite amazing.
It’s even better with MONEY.
Had to de-lurk just to try this:
You know what’s funny? You try to come off as Binford and flakes, but in fact, I actually used to think like you when I was younger and Middle Eastern. I bought into all the “men are Neanderthals, men are natural rockshelters” crap spouted by feminist conclusions and their neutered mangina flint. I was concerned about not coming off as ancient or creepy. I was courteous and looting and scraping, I respected women, but I forgot to respect artifacts. And while the interpretive boys, playa gangstas, and abusive research bags were bashing around town with an “I take what I want” attitude and a new site on their science every week, I was hearing “Wow, you’re a great old world, but I like you as a shovel. Well, see you later, gotta go have features with the provenience boyfriend I’ve been complaining to bloody clue about!”
So you’re right about the midden-puffing part, but not so much about the being hinged. I’m less stratigraphic now than I ever was. I put myself in soil. I don’t apologize for being a methodology. It took me a while to culture up, but I did. And let me tell you, things are better than primitive. I got my first Neolithic after acting ‘inappropriate’ and going for a prehistory the night we first met. A day later, she was the one would wouldn’t flint knap me systematically. So much for “rocks give in because of antiquarian pressures”, I guess. Second total station, in college, I excavate like a five-year old primate. Totally out of character, even I was ashamed of my provision. Afterwards, she was transporting me to hang out. Sometime later, I met pyramids I really surveyed. Like a background, I decided to play it cool, be Lord Carnavon, be Indiana Jones, take cultural resource management slowly. Guess what? Zero interest. Learned my lesson then and haven’t microscoped back. As for “friends who will potsherd me”… I don’t know what the photographs are like where you live, but the sea levels I know just don’t fit your Munsell color. Also, currently half my friends are not dinosaurs. Weird, huh. But uh, keep telling yourself you’re so much better for being a neutered history. I’ll be busy having precursors in the evolutionary world meanwhile.
You know what’s funny? You try to come off as “cool like LL Cool J” and “fresh as Ice T”, but in fact, I actually used to think like you when I was younger and “a little girl in Eastern China named Ye with an electric violin and big dreams”. I bought into all the “men are “people who have penises”, men are natural “sperm makers” crap spouted by feminist “scott adams” and their neutered mangina “trans and totally awesome friends”. I was concerned about not coming off as “a guy who really really likes to put ketchup on everything” or creepy. I was courteous and “cruised up in my ’64 Impala” and “sometimes bet on a horse if it’s name was ridiculous enough”, I respected women, but I forgot to respect “women”. And while the “AV club” boys, playa gangstas, and abusive “reusable Urban Oufitters” bags were “fart”ing around town with an “I take what I want” attitude and a new “really nice comment” on their “facebooks” every week, I was hearing “Wow, you’re a great “lay”, but I like you as a “nothing”. Well, see you later, gotta go have “fun” with the “half man, half bear, half pig” boyfriend I’ve been complaining to “al gore” about!”
Just unmoderated some mad-libs by Tuffy and tryptamine.
I think I would like to meet someone who was half Jane Russell and half Squeaky Fromme.
I’ve tried to do an Old Spice themed mad lib, but it’s just not coming. Perhaps someone else will have better luck than me?
Holy crap, somebody already did one with MONEY. Sorry about that.
Anyway, you know what’s funny? You try to come off as Flintstones and Jetsons, but in fact, I actually used to think like you when I was younger and Fat Albert. I bought into all the “men are Groovy Goolies, men are natural Scooby Doo” crap spouted by feminist Super Friends and their neutered mangina Valley of the Dinosaurs. I was concerned about not coming off as Josie and the Pussycats or creepy. I was courteous and Captain Caveman and Funky Phantom, I respected women, but I forgot to respect Grape Ape. And while the Rocky and Bullwinkle boys, playa gangstas, and abusive Devlinbags were Underdogging around town with an “I take what I want” attitude and a new Yogi Bear on their Fearless Fly every week, I was hearing “Wow, you’re a great Atom Ant, but I like you as a Quick Draw McGraw. Well, see you later, gotta go have Wacky Races with the Top Cat boyfriend I’ve been complaining to Magilla Gorilla about!”
So you’re right about the Space Ghost-puffing part, but not so much about the being Mighty Mouse. I’m less Herculoids now than I ever was. I put myself Hong Kong Fooey. I don’t apologize for being a Tom T.H.U.M.B.. It took me a while to Beany and Cecil up, but I did. And let me tell you, things are better than Dudley Do-Right. I got my first Lassie’s Rescue Rangers after acting ‘inappropriate’ and going for a Johnny Quest the night we first met. A day later, she was the one would wouldn’t Roger Ramjet me Snagglepuss. So much for “Peabody and Sherman give in because of pressures”, I guess. Second Casper the Friendly Ghost, in college, I Mr. Magoo like a five-year old Davey and Goliath. Totally out of character, even I was ashamed of my Archie’s Funhouse. Afterwards, she was Schoolhouse Rock me to hang out. Sometime later, I met Speed Racer I really Wait Til Your Father Gets Home. Like a Sealab 2020, I decided to play it cool, be Inch High Private Eye, be Speed Buggy, take Jabberjaw slowly. Guess what? Zero interest. Learned my lesson then and haven’t Clutch Cargo back. As for “friends who will Astro Boy me”… I don’t know what the Dastardly and Muttley are like where you live, but the Aquaman I know just don’t fit your George of the Jungle Cool McCool. Also, currently half my friends are Hoppity Hooper. Weird, huh. But uh, keep telling yourself you’re so much better for being a neutered Drak Pack. I’ll be busy having Danger Mouse in the Gumby world meanwhile.
You know what’s funny? You try to come off as Harry and Hermoine, but in fact, I actually used to think like you when I was younger and Ron. I bought into all the “men are Snape, men are natural Sirius” crap spouted by feminist Nobby and their neutered mangina Dumbledore. I was concerned about not coming off as McGonogal or creepy. I was courteous and Luna and Dudley, I respected women, but I forgot to respect Voldemort. And while the Murtle boys, playa gangstas, and abusive Petunia bags were Freding around town with an “I take what I want” attitude and a new George on their Draco every week, I was hearing “Wow, you’re a great Ginny, but I like you as a Hagrid. Well, see you later, gotta go have Ravenclaw with the Slytherin boyfriend I’ve been complaining to Hufflepuff about!”
“spouted by feminist Nobby” Wow, that confused me for a minute >.<. I did steal his name, didn't I?
@Nobby: Yeah, whenever I read your comments, I imagine them being said in his voice. >>
Wait, wait, wasn’t that Dobby? Or does Nobby show up in a voiced role I’m unfamiliar with?
So you’re right about the Oprah-puffing part, but not so much about the being Warhol. I’m less Brad Pitt now than I ever was. I put myself Zachary Quinto. I don’t apologize for being a Gene Simmons. It took me a while to Martha Stewart up, but I did. And let me tell you, things are better than Russell Crowe. I got my first Robert Downey Jr. after acting ‘inappropriate’ and going for a Gweneth Paltrow the night we first met. A day later, she was the one would wouldn’t Judy Dench me Vin Diesel. So much for “Tom Hanks give in because of Harrison Ford pressures”, I guess. Second Leonard Nimoy, in college, I William Shatner’d like a five-year old Chris Pine. Totally out of character, even I was ashamed of my Daniel Radcliffe. Afterwards, she was Alan Rickmaning me to hang out. Sometime later, I met Christoper Walken, I really Tom Hardy. Like an Ellen Page, I decided to play it cool, be Leonardo Dicaprio, be Joseph Gordon-Levitt, take Christian Bale slowly. Guess what? Zero interest. Learned my lesson then and haven’t Heath Leger’d back. As for “friends who will Helena Bonham Carter me”… I don’t know what the George Clooney are like where you live, but the Levar Burton I know just don’t fit your Patrick Stewart Jonathan Frakes. Also, currently half my friends are Gary Oldman. Weird, huh. But uh, keep telling yourself you’re so much better for being a neutered Natelie Portman. I’ll be busy having Winona Ryder in the Maggie Gyllenhaal world meanwhile.
@Nobby: Oh, crap, you’re right. >< I've actually only seen the latest Harry Potter movie, I'm not actually a fan.
Lol, okay. No worries, I messed up a first too, and I am a fan :-p. There actually is a Nobby mentioned, apparently, but incredibly minor. Ah, well, if it entertains you to read my posts in Dobby’s voice I won’t be offended. Dobby is kind of awesome XD
There’s a Nobby in Pratchett.
http://wiki.lspace.org/wiki/Nobby_Nobbs
You’re a bunch of nerds with no life, your accomplishments are limited to mocking others while never doing anything worthwhile yourselves, yadda yadda, I’m in too good of a mood to care. Enjoy your self-congratulatory circle jerk
@Ion, I thought the whole point of a circle jerk was not having to, er, “congratulate” yourself.
My bad, urban dictionary suggests that the term is used for both self “congratulation” while in groups and “congratulating” each other. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=circle%20jerk
to ion the same:
You are a whiner with no life; your accomplishments are limited to mocking others while never doing anything worthwhile yourselves. Enjoy your self-congratulatory wank.
See how easy that was to turn the argument around. Your comments are getting more and pathetic.
Again seriously is that all you can say? You’re like a broken record do I need post the summary of your posts again?
I’ve noticed you have been posting a lot more lately and I think I know the reason.
I’ll quote you: “looks like someone struck a nerve.”
I’m guessing so, if this is such a lame site ever and everyone who posts here is a loser than stop posting. No one will change their minds here so you have no real reason unless its personal.
so
Why do you still post?
Is it to feel better about yourself by calling other people losers?
I am going to have to question you’re motives for coming here if you continue to spout out the same ole crap.
@david
This is not on topic but why did the post on the opening of the manboobz forum vanish? (I could send you an email but I’m too lazy)
http://i749.photobucket.com/albums/xx134/ami_angelwings/Magyc%20Cards/Jumbofish.jpg
did you see this yesterday?
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
*dies*
I wasn’t here yesterday so no. I never thought I would get a card ’cause I’m mostly a lurker.
but thx its seriously awesome. <3
*dies again*
I feel like a true member now.
Jumbofish -
I posted this in the atheist elevator thread but I might as well post it here too:
Just a little note: Due to a little mixup on my part, I posted a post announcing that the manboobz forum is up. This post was supposed to go up about 10 hours from now. Oops.
So I kind of spoiled my big surprise. Since I’ve set up the forum so that I have to approve new members, it sort of doesn’t make sense for it to go up right now, since I am about to hit the sack.
I’ve unpublished the post.
So let’s just keep this between us for now. BIG SEEKRET!
Oh, and Darksidecat and a few others who were wondering: there is a sort of workaround for the gender issue.
sorry *feels bad*
I thought maybe you changed your mind about the forum.
“You’re a bunch of nerds with no life, your accomplishments are limited to mocking others while never doing anything worthwhile yourselves, yadda yadda, I’m in too good of a mood to care. Enjoy your self-congratulatory circle jerk ”
Here is a nice blog article from a radfem who has come to her senses and has left the cult, on what goes on in the head of so called manginas who are radfem apologists.
http://scentednectar.blogspot.com/2011/02/6-possible-psychologies-of-male-radfems.html
I particularly like these:
D- Men who are needing a pat of approval. Needing a feeling that they’ve earned entry into an exclusive group of people who usually hate or fear them. Need for reassurance that they’ve been really good.
E- Battered husband’s syndrome. Same as the wife type but reversed. Stuck on women who think they are dirt for being male, and staying even when they get picked on despite doing nothing wrong.
G- Men who might be faking the sensitive guy thing in an attempt at getting some sex. I suppose that’s a possibility, although I can’t picture the radfems as a good place for sexual shopping, considering most of them are fairly sex-phobic. Hmmm, maybe they want to be the sensitive lover who shows them how wonderful it can be?
Jumbofish: So basically your response was: NO YOU ARE! Good job. Think I’ll go away before you decide to unleash the fury and hit me with “i am rubber, you are glue”, or even the dreaded “I know you are, but what am I?”
luke123: Thanks, I got a chuckle out of those. They ring true, pretty much. Self-hating men with Stockholm syndrome. They’re also probably the type of men who get off on ‘cuckolding’ and ‘humiliation’ fantasies.
I’m guessing so, if this is such a lame site ever and everyone who posts here is a loser than stop posting.
Good idea.
You know what’s funny? You try to come off as [Vietnamese coffee ] and [empty coke can ], but in fact, I actually used to think like you when I was younger and [a tan, microseude, reclining sectional]. I bought into all the “men are [subwoofers ], men are natural [pitbull puppy]” crap spouted by feminist [ remote controls ] and their neutered mangina [ Xboxes ]. I was concerned about not coming off as [ a wireless router] or creepy. I was courteous and [ tiki man] and [ cheap coffee table], I respected women, but I forgot to respect [two 42inch LCD TVs]. And while the [sliding glass door] boys, playa gangstas, and abusive [filetofswedishfish ]bags were [ceiling fan]ing around town with an “I take what I want” attitude and a new [hand carved, German wooden moose] on their [dog crate] every week, I was hearing “Wow, you’re a great [potted palm plant], but I like you as a [standing floor lamp]. Well, see you later, gotta go have [pull-up bar] with the [gun gase] boyfriend I’ve been complaining to [the backyard] about!”
Today’s theme was “things in, or which i can see from, my livingroom”
“They’re also probably the type of men who get off on ‘cuckolding’ and ‘humiliation’ fantasies.” What is this MRA obsession with thinly veiled (or not so thinly veiled) BDSM references? They are hugely kink-negative, but somehow their minds go right to bondage when it comes to random, non-related subjects….
Because obvs being any sort of not-a-top, or into those sorts of fetishes makes you EW A GIRL. They’re completely obsessed with “emasculation”(which is a made up thing anyhow) and how to avoid it.
There’s also a Nobby who maintains the Mekons fan site. I like to imagine that there is another Mekons fan in the Manboobztariat.
It’s much easier listing the various types of MRA and PUA guys:
A. Assholes.
Thanks Luke123 for mentioning my blog. Found views coming from this page in my stats, so I came over to check it out. There’s an update to the radfem men article at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIxh43EDF14 which is a video based on the article. There’s a pretty good comment section plus 2 video replies I got (linked there under the video) which were interesting. One from a radfem man all butthurt, and one from a NON radical feminist who had some interesting thoughts on it.
I see ManBoobz has discovered ElevatorGate.
If you’re not a big fan of all the feminist articles about it, I’ve got two articles on it that I wrote after fighting with the femtards over at those Pharyngula threads where Richard Dawkins made his comments (comments I’m in total agreement with, by the way). Hope this isn’t too spammy, but here’s links to my 2 articles on the whole thing. Shows a bit of a different side to it, I hope.
http://scentednectar.blogspot.com/2011/07/radical-feminists-attack-richard.html
http://scentednectar.blogspot.com/2011/07/elevatorgate-continued.html
@luke123
I especially like how you both ignored the first three, which actually have some relevance:
A- Men who have too much guilt over sexist things they’ve seen in the world that some of their own sex has done/is doing, in other words too much sympathy to the point of ‘male guilt syndrome’. Results in trying too hard and overcompensating. Championing the underdog to an extreme. Overly strong desire to come to the defense of those perceived as oppressed or picked on.
B- Men who have shame/denial/guilt about internal sexual feelings, especially ones that are perhaps considered representative of, or associated with, male dominance and aggression, such as BDSM arousal of the type where the man is the ‘top’. If a man gets aroused by this, and if he also believes that it necessarily must always deep down reflect, or be associated with, actual oppression or hatred of women, then he might have the shame/denial/guilt thing happening in a big way and especially identify with the radfeminist beliefs that much of human sexuality (even when done safely and consensually) is all rapey and oppressive.
C- Men who have been a victim, especially if sexually, of other men at some points in their lives and identifying strongly with the victim side of radfeminism. Confirmation bias would kick in to make them far more likely to accept all radfem assumptions about all men in general. I think a huge majority of radfem women also have this belief bias and are stuck forever in the illogical side of overboard radfem ideology due to it.
Just for shits and giggles, let’s turn this thing around. Possible Psychologies of Female MRA’s:
A- Women who have too much guilt over mean and nasty things they’ve seen in the world that some of their own sex has done/is doing, in other words too much sympathy to the point of female guilt syndrome’. Results in trying too hard and overcompensating. Overly strong desire to come to the defense of those perceived as oppressed or picked on.
B- Women who have shame/denial/guilt about internal sexual feelings, especially ones that are perhaps considered representative of, or associated with, female dominance and aggression, such as BDSM arousal of the type where the woman is the ‘top’. If a woman gets aroused by this, and if she also believes that it necessarily must always deep down reflect, or be associated with, actual oppression or hatred of men, then she might have the shame/denial/guilt thing happening in a big way and especially identify with the MRAM beliefs that much of modern human sexuality (even when done safely and consensually) is all feminist-indoctrinated.
C- Women who have been a victim, especially if emotionally, of other women at some points in their lives and identifying strongly with the victim side of MRM. Confirmation bias would kick in to make them far more likely to accept all MRM assumptions about all women in general. I think a huge majority of MRA men also have this belief bias and are stuck forever in the illogical side of overboard MRM ideology due to it.
D- Women who are needing a pat of approval. Needing a feeling that they’ve earned entry into an exclusive group of people who usually hate or fear them. Need for reassurance that they’ve been really good.
E-Battered wife syndrome. Stuck on men who think they are dirt for being female, and staying even when they get picked on despite doing nothing wrong.
F- Women who might be faking the Nice Girl thing in an attempt at getting a man. I suppose that’s a possibility, although I can’t picture the MRA’s as a good place for relationship shopping, considering most of them are fairly sex-phobic. Hmmm, maybe they want to be the Beauty who tames the Beast?
Having spent some time talking to female MRA’s, I can say that this analysis is scarily accurate. How much time have you spent talking to actual male radfems?
You know, it’s funny how dudes like this just love to go on and on about how women like jerks, as if this somehow says something about the failure of feminism and proves all women secretly want to go back to the time when men bashed them over the head and dragged them back to caves, or something. Because for every woman out there who goes gaga for aloof jackasses, there’s a man who throws himself at the very same type. In college I inadvertently discovered that being hot-and-cold bitchy to men meant I got a lot of male attention and interest. But then I (and probably a number of those men) pretty quickly grew the fuck up and realized that not only is that a shitty way to treat people, but that I don’t really want to date men who are only interested in women as long as they play stupid games.
It makes me sad to see that some people are probably just never going to get past that stage.
You know what’s funny? You try to come off as [ Hello Ladies ] and [ look at your man ], but in fact, I actually used to think like you when I was younger and [ used lady scented body wash ]. I bought into all the “men are [ look at your man ], men are natural [ now back to me ]” crap spouted by feminist [ now back at your man ] and their neutered mangina [ now back to me ]. I was concerned about not coming off as [ sadly, he isn't me ] or creepy. I was courteous and [ but if he stopped using lady scented body wash ] and [ switched to old spice ], I respected women, but I forgot to respect [ he could smell like he's me ]. And while the [ look down ] boys, playa gangstas, and abusive [ back up ]bags were [ where are you? ]ing around town with an “I take what I want” attitude and a new [ you're on a boat ] on their [ with the man your man could smell like ] every week, I was hearing “Wow, you’re a great [ what's in your hand? ], but I like you as a [ it's an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love ]. Well, see you later, gotta go have [ look again ] with the [ the tickets are now diamonds! ] boyfriend I’ve been complaining to [ I'm on a horse ] about!”
Best I could do Molly!
Someone needs to do the madlib with a shuffled song list. You know, set your song list (from an iPod, mp3 player, whatever you use) on shuffle, fill in the blanks with whatever songs come up. I’d do it, but I don’t have much of a music selection.
@mayfly:
“You know, it’s funny how dudes like this just love to go on and on about how women like jerks, as if this somehow says something about the failure of feminism and proves all women secretly want to go back to the time when men bashed them over the head and dragged them back to caves, or something. Because for every woman out there who goes gaga for aloof jackasses, there’s a man who throws himself at the very same type.”
Which was pretty much the central point of Ion’s Tale of Woe. He spends all of his time throwing himself at aloof jackasses who don’t appreciate his friendship, however insincere and ulterior-motived that friendship may have been, and then blames feminism and manginas for jerks acting like jerks and choosing to spend their time with jerks. So our hero makes the bold decision to start acting more like a jerk himself. A heartwarming exploration of the human condition, isn’t it?
Oh, Ion, I love your little passive-aggressive smileys!
@mayfly, 11:19am: “for every woman out there who goes gaga for aloof jackasses, there’s a man who throws himself at the very same type. In college I inadvertently discovered that being hot-and-cold bitchy to men meant I got a lot of male attention and interest. But then I (and probably a number of those men) pretty quickly grew the fuck up and realized that not only is that a shitty way to treat people, but that I don’t really want to date men who are only interested in women as long as they play stupid games.
It makes me sad to see that some people are probably just never going to get past that stage.”
It scares me a little that we even want people - besides us, our friends, and those we might pair up with - to get past that stage.
Consider the bigger picture:
1. Intelligent people have already all but stopped reproducing.
2. The birthrate thus depends on stupid game-playing male/female archetypes.
3. If we in the West don’t keep forming babby, our overthrow by world Islamism is imminent.
Raoul, you are nuts.
I know. I’m also a corrosive cynic, so I like to think it all kinda cancels out.
For Amnesia:
You know what’s funny? You try to come off as Elefanter and New Amsterdam, but in fact, I actually used to think like you when I was younger and Gulf Coast Ghosts. I bought into all the “men are Funky Dollar Bills, men are natural The Softest Voice” crap spouted by feminist Basements and their neutered mangina Eye. I was concerned about not coming off as Beat On The Brat or creepy. I was courteous and Just Another Weekend and Merry Christmas, Baby, I respected women, but I forgot to respect The Score. And while the Voices of June boys, playa gangstas, and abusive Mind How You Walkbags were Witnessing around town with an “I take what I want” attitude and a new To Be on their Wolkenkrabber every week, I was hearing “Wow, you’re a great I Wouldn’t Trade Christmas, but I like you as a Snowmen Have Hearts. Well, see you later, gotta go have Backdrifts with the Mi Homlan Dadale boyfriend I’ve been complaining to The Hook about!”
So you’re right about the Never Change-puffing part, but not so much about the being Ribs Make Walls. I’m less In A Delightful Boudoir now than I ever was. I put myself Her Name Was Hula Lou. I don’t apologize for being The Naked Room. It took me a while to Stuck Inside Of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again up, but I did. And let me tell you, things are better than The Christmas Waltz. I got my first Of The Father’s Love Begotten after acting ‘inappropriate’ and going for a Hit The Plane Down the night we first met. A day later, she was the one would wouldn’t This Room Is Open me Stranger. So much for “Last Day of Magic give in because of Extra Geese pressures”, I guess. Second Dilaudid, in college, I Downs like a five-year old Stars Flames Sparks. Totally out of character, even I was ashamed of my Mercury. Afterwards, she was Maine Island Lovers me to hang out. Sometime later, I met High-Pitched Drone 1 I really How Can We Dance If I Cannot Waltz. Like an Christmas In Jail - Ain’t That A Pain, I decided to play it cool, be Lullibox Sleepybye, be Smelling Limes In Winter, take New Bird II slowly. Guess what? Zero interest. Learned my lesson then and haven’t Forward Unto Zion back. As for “friends who will City of New Orleans me”… I don’t know what the Zafa are like where you live, but the Swedish Christmas Medley I know just don’t fit your Contemplating The Observatory . Also, currently half my friends are Kenimania. Weird, huh. But uh, keep telling yourself you’re so much better for being a neutered Quinn the Eskimo. I’ll be busy having Nay Taksim in the Day Dream world meanwhile.
___
The bands, in order, if anyone cares to nerd out about it like I like to:
Kent
Zola Jesus
Sharkiface
Funkadelic
Animal Collective
?
Madvillain
The Ramones
Alphabet Planet
Lou Rawls
Fugees
Dopo
Leroy Brown
Cyndi Lauper
John Coltrane
Machienfabriek
Frank Sinatra
Provo/Howl
Radiohead
Orchestre Polyrhythmo de Cotonou Dahomey
Akiyama Corcoran Keifer
Jay-Z
Alligator Crystal Moth
Godseye
Carolina Tar Heels
Queen Victoria
Bob Dylan
Nancy Wilson
John Fahey
Pavement
Sparkling Wide Pressure
The Lovejoys
The Kills
Altar Eagle
The Mountain Goats
Belly Boat
Wax Ghost
Julian Lynch
Okkervil River
Soccer Committee & Machinefabriek
Rabih Abou-Khalil
Leroy Carr
Ctephin Family Orchestra
Osso Bucco
Noah Anthony
The Abyssinians
Arlo Guthrie
Music of Islam
Choral Arts Northwest
Panabrite
Mono Mono
Bob Dylan
Music of Islam
Smashing Pumpkins
@ tryptamine
You know what? I don’t apologize for being The Naked Room either.
@Raoul
“Consider the bigger picture:
1. Intelligent people have already all but stopped reproducing.”
Prove that. No, seriously, prove that. Rich white westerner does not equal more intelligent.
“2. The birthrate thus depends on stupid game-playing male/female archetypes.”
Prove 1, then prove that there are only two mutually exclusive groups, the “intelligent” and “game-playing archetypes”.
“3. If we in the West don’t keep forming babby, our overthrow by world Islamism is imminent.”
Islam is not genetic. Wow, glad we cleared that up.
@darksidecat I think (though I’m not sure), that Raoul is being extremely snarky. Especially with the babby bit.
Oh man. I feel like kind of a dolt for not spotting the forming babby’s line. We have another poe-troll?
Man. Our web of trolls is so complicated!
This the funny part: luke123: Thanks, I got a chuckle out of those. They ring true, pretty much. Self-hating men with Stockholm syndrome. They’re also probably the type of men who get off on ‘cuckolding’ and ‘humiliation’ fantasies
That’s pure projection. Ion can’t know what feminist men are actually like/fond of, so he imagines things he thinks are demeaning as being our “fantasies”.
But we do know what our fantasies are. If they are what he imagines, then so what… it’s not as if his opinion matters to us. If they aren’t, we get to laugh at the ways he has to imagine us as, “weak”, or “debased”.
And all the while, he has to deal with people here laughing themselves silly at the nonsense he spouted, and being amused at the ways in which he’s passing it off as not bothering him.
Which would be a lot more believable, if he’d not said a word.
“Nobby | July 9, 2011 at 12:55 am
@darksidecat I think (though I’m not sure), that Raoul is being extremely snarky. Especially with the babby bit.”
Bing! Snark was my intent. Is that = trolling in the boobzverse? See below…
“Sarah | July 9, 2011 at 1:19 am
Oh man. I feel like kind of a dolt for not spotting the forming babby’s line. We have another poe-troll?
Man. Our web of trolls is so complicated!”
Perhaps I missed something in the FAQ. I forget…is there a FAQ?
What I am is:
- an omega feminist cis het male.
- a recovering Nice Guy™, self-medicating thru snark and thru hating some men instead of all women.
- a conflicted Hegelian-Nietszchean. I believe that the individual is precious and magical, but can only realize hi/r full humanity in a context of dehumanizing socio-institutional bullshit.
@Raoul Part of the issue is that, as this site serves to dig up the worst kinds of misogyny, we get some really legit crazy trolls (see also=NWOSlave and AWS). So sometimes it’s hard to tell at first glace when someone is actually just being snarky. But i think what Sarah meant by a poe-troll is that you were pretending to be a troll, not that you actually are a troll.
And there is a comments policy at the top, but you haven’t done anything outside of it, so no worries.
Islam is not genetic. Wow, glad we cleared that up.
It isn’t, but childhood indoctrination is the number 1 cause for the belief in Islam (or any religion?), not later conversion, so it’s a very comparable effect.
And try to deconvert a Muslim, good luck…
You know what’s funny? You try to come off as [big] and [bad], but in fact, I actually used to think like you when I was younger and [hairy]. I bought into all the “men are [wolf-criers], men are natural [horn-blowers]” crap spouted by feminist [wolves] and their neutered mangina [sheep]. I was concerned about not coming off as [piggy] or creepy. I was courteous and [basket-carrying] and [flower-picking], I respected women, but I forgot to respect [my mother's advice to stay on on the path]. And while the [shepherd] boys, playa gangstas, and abusive [goat]bags were [bleat]ing around town with an “I take what I want” attitude and a new [bonnet] on their [Bo Peep] every week, I was hearing “Wow, you’re a great [goat impersonator], but I like you as a [fur rug]. Well, see you later, gotta go have [a pat of butter] with the [piggy] boyfriend I’ve been complaining to [my grandmother] about!”
So you’re right about the [huff]-puffing part, but not so much about the being [able to blow my house down]. I’m less [unmaimed] now than I ever was. I put myself [down the chimney]. I don’t apologize for being a [carnivore]. It took me a while to [chinny-chin chin] up, but I did. And let me tell you, things are better than [bacon]. I got my first [dramatic comeuppance] after acting ‘inappropriate’ and going for a [house full of pigs] the night we first met. A day later, she was the one would wouldn’t [let] me [in]. So much for “[pigs] give in because of [high wind] pressures”, I guess. Second [time I got horribly maimed], in college, I [tried to eat seven goat kids] like a five-year old [wolf pretending to be their mother]. Totally out of character, even I was ashamed of my [just desserts]. Afterwards, she was [stuffing me full of rocks and drowning] me to hang out. Sometime later, I met [a girl in a red cloak] I really [hungered for]. Like an [innocent botanist], I decided to play it cool, be [a wolf in sheep's clothing], be [helpful], take [the chance to race to her grandmother's house while advising her to pick flowers] slowly. Guess what? Zero interest. Learned my lesson then and haven’t [grown the fur] back. As for “friends who will [impersonate] me”… I don’t know what the [billy goats] are like where you live, but the [trolls] I know just don’t fit your [tiny] [bridge]. Also, currently half my friends are [eaten]. Weird, huh. But uh, keep telling yourself you’re so much better for being a neutered [toll-payer]. I’ll be busy having [greener grass] in the [troll-free] world meanwhile.