Off-topic: Bjork now a bird

I've got a real post coming in a bit. In the meantime, enjoy this paparazzi photo which clearly shows that Bjork has been transformed into a bird.

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Vaginamoney is the root of all evil

Women receive regular vaginamoney checks from the government.

Is it wrong that I love the perpetually incoherent Christian J. – the self-proclaimed Male Renaissance Agitator behind What Men Are Saying About Women – as much as I do? If it’s wrong, I don’t want him to be right! Fortunately, he’s never right about anything.

Here, to celebrate today not being tax day, are some tasty quotes from some of his most recent posts. (He really churns those suckers out.)

Vaginamoney is the root of all evil:

You have to wonder how the opposite sex can easily make the claim about how “Strong” and “Independent” they are when in actual fact the majority of those making that claim are either receiving child support, vaginamoney as well as copious handouts from the state, their very own standby sugar daddy is on call 24/7. One who has been trained to behave like a defacto ATM, specifically trained to drip feed cash when required, without asking too many inappropriate questions and to hide when anyone or anything approaches..

Come on and take a free orifice ride:

[W]hat do women actually bring to the table besides their genitals and reproductive ability. Why do they now increase and expand their value as human being rather than relying on the state for enforcement of their will and they free ride their orifice affords them..

(That one was so incoherent, even by Christian J. standards, that I’m thinking there must be a typo in there somewhere. Maybe “now” should be “not?” Obviously the “they” near the end should be a “the.”)

Inglorious Slut Basterds:

[W]hile the slut feminist hoards continue with their manufactured bastardry, the response will be tailored to nullify it..

Too many slut feminists spoil the broth:

How many times have you heard those slut feminists and their cowtowing (sic) white knights and manginas claim that all the MM and men in general want to do is put women back into the kitchen. …

They make that claim whenever any mention is made regarding all those anti male laws and sexist actions that governments have introduced to nobble men, take away our fundamental human rights and turn us into third class citizens, whose sole activity is to be forced to act subserviently, like a slave, to the opposite sex. …

Now just think for a moment about the fact that women can’t even cook anymore, they are totally useless in the kitchen … They have problems even making a sandwich, even that task is beyond their capability, a proven inability. So why would any man want to “Put women back into the kitchen”, it just doesn’t make any sense. It’s just stupid..

“Nobble?”

Palate Cleanser: Cats and Dogs

That last post was kind of grim. So here are some kitties, doing what they do. And a dog that is the master of the stairs.

If at first you don’t succeed, because what you are trying to do is impossible, try, try again.

I would like to take issue with the title given this next video. This cat isn’t dumb. It just enjoys sticking its head under the tap. Don’t we all?

Some cats are more talented than others. Or at least more obsessed with treats.

Tiny dog time!

 

The worst “nice guy” rage comic in the history of the universe

[TW: Rape]

Have you ever said to yourself, “my life won’t be complete until I see a reprehensible rage comic in which a ‘nice guy’ decides to solve his ‘friendzone’ problem by violently raping women?”

If so, it’s your lucky day! I found this lovely comic on the Tumblrverse; the dude who put it up has since taken it, and his Tumblr, down. Be warned: this really is the worst rage comic I’ve ever seen. Click here to see it. Or don’t click; that might be the better choice.

This is why “nice guys” can’t have nice things. BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT REALLY NICE.

Below, something of a palate cleanser. No trigger warning for this one. Just some lovely schadenfreude. (Thanks to blitzgal for posting this in the comments.)

 

EDITED TO ADD: I just noticed this lovely discussion in the Men’s Rights subreddit about my post. You may notice that many statements in the discussion are not what you might call “true.” Also, they deliberately misspell my name in a most hilarious manner! (If you are 5 years old.)

Men’s Rights: There’s an app for that?

I’m sorry, but this is just hilarious:

That’s right, guys. That’s what you need. An app. Now you’ll be able to stop in the middle of a conversation and say, excuse me, but my phone has some crucial information that will prove to you my contention that men are the most oppressed creatures on planet earth. Excuse me while I fetch some random dubious factoid about false rape accusations that some dude found on some other dude’s blog and posted on Reddit. Wait, where are you going?

Yeah, it’s not that you guys are wrong about pretty much everything. It’s not that the vast majority of the tiny number of people who’ve even heard of your movement think you’re a joke. The only thing holding back the inevitable victory of the Men’s Rights movement is that you don’t have an app yet! Quick, someone, get on it! As soon as you recover from that Million MRA March on Washington you had last Sunday to protest the sinking of the Titanic. Oh, wait. That didn’t happen.

The Hatred of Women: A new terrible anthem for the Men’s Rights Movement!

Look out, Jade Michael and the Fuck Their Shit Up Crew! Sure, your Men’s Rights theme song “Go My Own Way” was hailed by MRAs around the internet as a work of genius, and, in the words of one eminent critic angry misogynist dude,

a veritable anthem for the red pill crowd … replete with a great, purist rock sound, a touch of humor, attitude, and a ton of gut level, red pill honesty.

It’s Red Pill-riffic! But now Jade and the one other guy who makes up his, er, “crew” now have competition in the Men’s Rights anthem business!

Without futher ado, here is Slumberwall, with a little song called “The Hatred of Women.”

Did any of you make it past the one minute mark? I couldn’t.

Happily, Slumberwall has transcribed the terrible lyrics to the song, so you don’t have to listen to the whole thing in order to appreciate its true Men’s Rightsy awfulness. Here are the best bits, by which I mean the bits most likely to make you want to puncture your eardrums with knitting needles.

Men have no doubt

Just what they’re for

We die at work

We die in war

We die at sea

As the lifeboats float ashore

Women & children,

all aboard

Never mind that, as I pointed out yesterday, “women and children first” isn’t really a thing.

Anyway, back to Slumberwall:

We take the strain

We bear the load

Build the bridges

Sweep the roads

Make the houses

That make the homes

Pay for others

But live alone

And the more that it happens

The more I see

The hatred of women

For men like me

Well, if by “men like me” you mean “men who write and sing the shittiest music that has ever been made by human beings,” I have to say that I kind of understand this hatred.

Nonetheless, on YouTube the Men’s Rightsers are cheering this song as a brilliant work of social criticism.

Wanderer5200 enthuses:

I haven’t had a favorite song in a very long time. But I think this is it.

TheAetherspeak declares

Awesome Song. The voice all purveyors of patriarchy theory remain ignorant of.

Gamenode explains:

Women have never been oppressed but through their reproductive monopoly have exploited men and seen us butchered and enslaved for their own privilege. Fuck ‘em all.

KellyJones00 adds,

Don’t fuck them at all. Just leave them alone. Don’t even donate sperm.

Time for a little bit of a musical palate cleanser.

Make sure to listen to all ten hours of that for the full palate-cleansing effect.

A Titanic mistake? New research sinks the “women and children first” myth.

Another manifestation of Sink Misandry

The Titanic sank 100 years ago today, and Men’s Rights Activists are still pissed off about it.

They’re not really pissed off that it sank. They’re pissed off that the men on board were more likely to go down with the ship than the women. You know, that whole “women and children first” thing.

Some MRAs were so pissed off about this that they were planning to march on Washington on this very day in an attempt, as they put it, to “Sink Misandry.”

You don’t know how much I would have loved to see this, a dozen angry dudes marching in circles on the National Mall carrying signs protesting the sinking of the Titanic and demanding that in all future sinkings of the Titanic that women and men be equally likely to drown in the cold waters of the North Atlantic. For that would be justice at last!

But, alas, due to unspecified logistical problems this march was cancelled some months back, and so misandry remains unsunk.

Or does it?

For you see, it turns out that the whole “women and children first” thing was not really a thing. Oh, on The Titanic it was. But women unfortunate enough to be passengers on sinking ships that weren’t the Titanic (or the HMS Birkenhead, which sunk off the coast of South Africa in 1852) weren’t able to push ahead to the front of the line. That, at least, is the conclusion of a new Swedish study (link is to a pdf of it).

As Discovery News explains:

The chivalrous code “women and children first” appears to have sunk with the Titanic 100 years ago.

Long believed to be the golden standard of conduct in a shipwreck, the noble edict is in fact “a myth that has been nourished by the Titanic disaster,” economist Mikael Elinder of Uppsala University, Sweden, told Discovery News.

Elinder and colleague Oscar Erixson analyzed a database of 18 peace-time shipwrecks over the period 1852–2011 in a new study into survival advantages at sea disasters.

Looking at the fate of over 15,000 people of more than 30 nationalities, the researchers found that more women and children die than men in maritime disasters, while captains and crew have a greater chance of survival than any passengers.

Being a woman was an advantage on only two ships: on the Birkenhead in 1852 and on the Titanic in 1912.

The notion of “women and children first” may have captured the popular imagination, but it’s never been an official policy for ship evacuations. It wouldn’t be fair, nor would it be an efficient way to get as many people as possible to safety.

Nor was “women and children” strictly enforced even on the Titanic. True, my great-grandfather, the mystery writer Jacques Futrelle, was one of those who went down with the ship, while his wife and my great-grandmother, writer Lily May Futrelle made it off safely (in the last lifeboat). But there were many men who survived, and many women who died.

If you want to get mad about the sinking of the Titanic all those years ago, get mad at the White Star Line for not bothering to equip the ship with lifeboats enough for everyone on it. Blame the captain, for ordering the ship to continue plowing ahead on a dark, foggy night into an area of the Atlantic where numerous icebergs had just been sighted by a number of other ships. Blame the crew for botching the evacuation – for the strange lack of urgency after the ship hit the iceberg, for the lifeboats leaving the sinking ship with half as many passengers as they could fit.

Much like the iceberg that sank the Titanic, Elinder and Erixson’s research has poked a giant hole in the “women and children first” myth. Of course, MRAs aren’t interested in historical accuracy. They’re looking for excuses to demonize women and feminists. So I imagine we’ll be hearing about the Titanic from them for years to come.

Here’s another tragic sinking, of yet another ship without a sufficient number of lifeboats:

EDIT: I added a couple of relevant links and fixed a somewhat egregious typo.

A Voice for Men takes the last gravy train to Clicheville

Over on A Voice for Men, Paul Elam is knocking the clichés out of the park! In a post about … oh, something about feminists being about to get their big comeuppance, who the fuck cares, all his posts are pretty much the same at this point, he explains how the mean feminists’

gravy train is about to derail, and that right quickly. One set of wheels is already off the track. … the choo choo is hittin’ poo poo.

That’s right, the metaphorical feminist gravy train is metaphorically derailing into a metaphorical mountain of metaphorical poop.

After a few more paragraphs of this poopery, Elam offers up a bit of inspiration for his troops:

[T]he times they are a changing. The worm is turning and lies are burning. Their whole house of cards is about to go up in a puff. What you are seeing is just the desperation that comes with them waking up to it.

Believe me, it does my heart good. Just to see their frantic scrambling to point the finger at me and my brothers, while they comically pretend our sisters aren’t standing right next to us, every time one more their lies bites the dust, is an absolute highlight in my day.

Must be time to crank up the action around here.

And then he really kicks it into high gear:

Keep your eye on the ball, boys. Put the pedal to the metal. Wake up and smell the coffee, feminists, because the shoe is on the other foot now! We’re burning the candle at both ends - because when the going gets tough the tough get going. What goes around comes around. Feminists and manginas, you made your bed, now you’re going to have to lie in it. The tide’s beginning to turn, all you gender ideologues and your lackeys at the SPLC, and it looks like there’s a new sheriff in town! Remember, nice guys finish last. And it ain’t over till the fat lady sings!

Ok, that’s not really Elam any more. That’s just a bunch of random clichés borrowed from Steve’s Cliché List, with some references to feminists and manginas and the Southern Poverty Law Center shoved in here and there.

Huh. I think I just figured out how Elam writes his posts.

EDITED TO ADD: For whatever reason, this post is no longer up at AVFM; here’s the Google cache version. Read the comments there too; quite a little shitstorm going on there.

Off-topic: One Cat Roomba, Three Girl Rhumba

No misogynists today, just a cat in bunny ears riding a Roomba, and a classic song by Wire.

RIP, Bobo the cat

No post today. My cat died last night. A friend found her on the doorstep one cold and rainy night some 14 years ago, an overgrown abandoned kitten, but Bo’s weird intensity was too much for my friend’s cats to handle, so I took her in. After a long and, I think, mostly happy life (she was a bit cranky, and more or less hated everyone but me), she developed a lung problem that really wasn’t treatable, and it was only a matter of time. Still, most of the time she seemed like her old un-sick self, and I somehow still hoped she’d magically revive and stick around a little while longer. Then over the last couple of days she really started to go downhill, and finally tonight she died. I will miss her enormously.

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